Hi Sup Forums

hi Sup Forums

> almost 39yo
> still virgin
> no car, not even a bike
> never had a GF, i only kissed a girl and grope her tits when i was 21
> no job, because I drop out highschool
> 2 friends. i see them three times a year, all have gfs or married

I barely talk to girls because i'm too shy and i don't want to confess to someone that i'm a virgin

i think i'm depressed since years and i regularly "fall" in my sadness. Since few weeks i really thinking about cutting off penis since no one will ever touch it except motrician when I am dead.
Once my birthday passed (in ~15 days) , i'll be officially a 39yo virgin and i will do it.

i'll write a letter to my parents and goodbye this fucking penis...

i don't have access to gun in my country, don't have any swords and can't fix a fucking rope on my penis...

So, i want to cut my penis off with a kitchen knife, i have a shitty live, i want a bloody hole where my penis used to be.

any useful advice to do it?

thanks Sup Forumsros

Use a sawing sideways motion while pressing the sharp end of the blade sternly to the base of your penis.

>get a load of this guy

are you fat and live with mom?

Get a shitty job, save up and fuck a hooker.
Oh, and don't cut your penis, it will hurt.

My wife saw this thread. First thing out of her mouth: OMG, just get a hooker!

That's a woman's advice brah.

My brother is a spic, convicted murderer and he has a job. Jfc you whiteboiis want everything handed to you.

omg please don't make me end up like this plsssss

>goodbye this fucking penis...

Get a cleaver, and lop it off, have 911 on standby, and swallow whatever you cut off so they can't reattach it

Lower your standards. im a 287 pounds man that has a play mate. hey man pussy is pussy.

Cut now

>1 year from wizard powers
>not amassing the components for your spells to get anything you ever desired

Try harder OP

Only advice I can give you is don't use a serrated blade, will hurt 10 times worse. If you're thinking "I don't care about the pain" you will. Obviously you wont feel much if you cut off circulation, but the stump will be infected or straight up rot after all the skin cells are destroyed by the serrated blade.

You need some hookers and blow.

lol when you realize your wife is just a live in full time hooker

Bleed out

Saying shit like that is why you're alone. I know you're not OP, but I'm guessing you are single or not in a committed relationship.

You see, we're all whores. Everything, except maybe the love of a parent for a child, is a transaction of a sort.

...

God those pubes... i'm gonna throwup

Jesus man, just go hire a prostitute and get it out of the way. Then apply at mcdonalds so you can make some money and buy a hooker every week.

Bam, life problems solved.

i'm in a relationship but i'm still dead inside anyways i guess the rule of thumb is don't marry her if you didn't pop her cherry because that's the person she will be loyal to

Lurking

Jesus Christ... The losers crawling in this world. If you're 25 and above, still virgin obviously you failed as a fellow human being in the relationships field. The least you can do at this point is fucking go to a HOOKER and just get it over with the whole virgin thing.

That is not how humans work. If she's loyal to someone it's because she chooses to be.

...

I hope you cut your dick off and the next day you finally meet a girl who wants it.

Don't cut your penis, that would nott solve anything. If you ant to get rid of desire, then visit a doctor and tell him you want to get sterilized. Leave the surgery to proffesionals.

Also, me:

> almost 35 yo
> still virgin, I only kissed my cousin's daughter when we were drunk
> never had a GF, despite:
> have a nice car
> cool, well paid job
> look good
> many female friends, but none is interested in me sexually

now tell me who has got it worse

Fuck, keks where had when he tried to lift it, but it slipped

this doesn't make sense, you must be secretly gay

???????
nice dubs

You have transcended beyond human mortals. Be the proud wizard that you have become.

Go on fetlife, make a profile. Find a girl whose fetishist is virgins. Hit her up, meet her, fuck her. DONE. or get a hooker. Go to a strip club, get a few lapdances and a stripper will proposition you. Especially if you tell them you're a virgin

Then its so secret that even I do not know about it and get aroused only by women.

Backpage.com escorts

one phone call can change that for as low as $80, and the $80 one's can sometimes become good friends, they are the ones that fuckup with their cash and need place's to stay and what not.
Pic related, my $80 fulls service escort that stayed with me afterwards

Wizard is at 30 I have no clue if it's even possible to power up after that.

Ho old is your cousin's daughter, and Is she still interested in you? That a distant enough relation to be safe breeding with.

Do it and send it to the feminazis

She is around 27, but no, she is not interested to explore this kind of relationship further. (sadly)

OP hasn't responded to this thread once. You're all dumb

yeah.. eat 5g psilocybin mushrooms in dark silence

You'll fit right in.

ITT Dumbasses everywhere

prof
same door

go gay or get a qt trap, its so easy, and you dont have to cut it off. dont be ashamed to try it

going to the prostitutes,thats my advice you fail bait

OP if you want I can be your girlfriend, if you look past the fact I'm a fag.

OP I have a micro penis, i.e.

and then you fall in the click with them and there will always be one around for free, just give them a safe roof over their head.
pic related my new call girl staying with me

Yo I'll fuck you. Need hormones?

Yes, I really do. I want to really badly but I promised my grandma that I would wait until after college.

Don't do it you assmunch!
[spoiler]just hang urself;)[/spoiler]

I'm 18, i never had a gf too and everyone else always treated me like shit. planning something next week in my neighborhood, wanna join?

this one I charge $300 a month to share my bed or use my couch, I have a second bedroom that I'm renting out to a 2nd escort

Incoming deal breaker: Are you into bears or daddies?

There's nothing wrong at being a 39 year old virgin. There is something wrong at dying a virgin in purpose though. Buy an escort and some Jack Da for the night. Give you the goddamn respect your body deserve.

You're so close to achieving wizard status. Don't blow it.

what kind of miserable faggotry is this fucking image for christ sake

but you can still masturbate even if no one fucks you

I used to be like you scared to tell girls I was a virgin but the thing is they never ask. Never. I was a virgin until age 20 I fucked a dumb bitch at a keg party on Thanksgiving. Since then I fucked about 50 bitches and not one of them ever asked if I was a virgin.

It's easy it's natural just don't be nervous.you will be good at it the first time. Especially because you're a nigger.

I have a MASSIVE daddy fetish. I could accommodate bears.

Que es esta mierda? D:

Drop a throwaway email, I'll send a picture to prove its me and we can talk more. I have gray hair and a septum piercing.

I didn't know IKEA did knives, thanks OP

Are there old virgin niggers?

fuck a sheep

You're just a sad little faggot crying for help on Sup Forums, how sad...

If you really wanted to cut it you woulda done it already, you're actually praying for help.

Then get a hooker first, get a shit job like so many of us do, go to some random hook up websites to get and fuck random ugly chickas like we all do, drink red wine, play video games and be happy. Ain't more complicated than that.

WHAT THE FUCK?!? Now I understand why it's called nightmare fuel holy shit..

[email protected]

I was like you then I transitioned and life hasn't been better.

By th way you're still young enough to join the French Foreign Legion, go there and get worth a shit. When you achieve it you'll be happy you finally did something out of your life, you'll be confident, will stop caring about shit and be ballsy enough to finally use your cock at the age of 45 without even giving a fuck about not using it until then.

Asperger from last thread here. Just found this one. In case you can still remember my last post and your reply:


>
>i think i have a bipolar disorder (manic disorder). i read a lot of shit about that.
>a lot of symptoms match with my personality. But even if i have a treatment, it won't erase my past and my wasted years.

It certainly did not solve all my problem getting the diagnosis and shit is still tough. And as with you, it didn't give me my time or stupid decision back, but it kept me from blaming myself for my misdoings and let me see a path I can go in life. Even if I will miss out on a lot of things "normal" people do.

We have been telling you for a quarter century to go to the gym.
You have not.
You still have the same problems you did then.
You still know the solution.

Awe, the solution is hard and takes effort. Poor you.
Go move to the US and get fatter if you want to life a life without effort.

Check mate em

why?

slip a firecracker or small explosive down your urethera

Knife is too quick. Your penis punishes you, has punished you for almost 40 years by teasing you with something you couldn't get. Your job sucks because you dropped out of high school and you dropped out of high school because your penis flooded your brain with hormones and made you dumb.

You have to hit your dick with a mallet, pierce it with nails, stick screws in your urethra. You have to pay it back for causing you so much pain. Then, when it has suffered, then you cut it off. Don't forget to take those fickle fuckwads that are your balls too. They made everything so much worse! Then you get some helium balloons, tie them to your severed penis and let it float up into the sky back to God, back from where it came.

Bullshit, your over 10 stone heavier than me and no women is interested in my fat arse.

Stupid cunt, cutting your dick won't make the urge to fuck go away. You need to either cut off your balls, dying in the process, or get a hooker. Choices, choices...

Go out a LEGEND

hitler dubs of truth

ahhh true love

Bro you gotta finish high school and get a job. There are steps you gotta start taking to reintegrate back into society.