ITT:We work in the same office

ITT:We work in the same office

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youtube.com/watch?v=-ltORkYAdVk
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>the guy who's on a diet of nothing but coffee
that's me

"working" aka torrenting mass terabytes of porn and transferring it to my home PC

FUCK YOU, DAVID. THIS IS LAST TIME YOU SCREW ME OUT OF A PROMOTION.

ITT a guy with no imagination reposts a boring thread

*Goes to water cooler*

Hey you guys see big bang theory last night?


AHAHAHAHA

I KNOW RIGHT!

Attention all Staff workers, this is your manager: Will all the darkies please Stand up...

You're fired niggers.

HE'S GOT A GUN

Don't mind me, just hooking up all the discarded monitors to this one computer to build a porn wall.

>ITT we work in the same office
>on 9/11

*goes to bathroom*

*phone rings*

*phone rings*

*phone rings*

*phone is ringing*

>"user, I need those fresh meme reports on my desk pronto! /s4s/ is hitting us hard this quarter."
>i hate my job

> pop pop pop
> watching niggers drop

So basically the office faggot. Ok.

Johnson, you're wrong, i mean, you are good in your work but-aaaah (gun strikes*)

*rush back*

*smell of shit*

Hey guys thanks for getting me phone for me, hey did you see big bang theory last night? AHAHA I know, RIGHT!

Well I'm going to lunch, see ya!

*phone rings*

Hey guys my mom is going to Walmart for some tendies who else wants some?

God fucking damnit... Look at all these TPS reports...

-sips coffee and scratches nuts-
Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuck.....

*sits on copier*

*phone rings*

>Police! Open the door, we have a warrant!

*sticks ass picture to ringing phone*

Get the manager youths are in our smoking spot

What? I can't hear you, theres a phone ringing

"What's up dude, you watch the game last night?"

"What game?"

"Ah......"

Fuck off, I dindu nuffin

youtube.com/watch?v=-ltORkYAdVk

-ignores police-

Sigh.... Fuck these god damn TPS reports everyone knows this is Johnson's job...

-throws files in bin and sets on Johnsons desk before pissing in bin-

Fuck you Johnson.

*clicking around to seem busy*

No Sup Forumsro, i missed it, i been standing all the night searchin fo my fuckin crack pipe

...

HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEADS.

*Suit from upstairs walks in*

Hey did you guys see big bang theory last night? HAHA I know right?

*phone rings*

Anyone gonna get that?

Who did that in the microwave... and what exactly did you do?

Oh shit...

like this?

You're lucky they don't pay me enough money to afford bullets, David. You're fucking dead when I get my $0.24 raise next year!

*answers phone*
FUCKING WHAT???

-still reclining, hands behind head-
Hey if it means I get an excuse to not do Johnsons TPS reports I'm good. Johnsons the nigger over there with the piss bucket on his desk.

Hey guys, heard that
Some crackhead just kill david, you know the boss. Who the fuck gonna pay us now?

Okay everyone. Due to our stats being #4 in the region and 112th in the state and 450th in the country we're having a pizza party for everyone. But the only kind we're ordering is cheese pizza.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

THE WEBSITE IS DOWN

I REPEAT!

THE WEBSITE IS DOWN

*throws empty gin bottle at wall*
STEAL EVERYTHING AND CHEESE IT!

>Jamming out to some of my favorite music while chipping away at some excel data analysis and VBA
>starting to figure out how the logical flow of the program is going to be
>getting ideas of what to name variables and what the counts should be
>thinking through a complex task
>"OK I store the output in this array, then write a new loop and reference that other variable, but do I need to declare as integer or double. Fuck why isn't this working let me look at this earlier function. What did I name it again..."

"Hey user. How's it going? Did you get that email I sent you earlier. Yea yea, that one. Just wanted to see if you understand what I'm asking for. Yea, OK well, when you read it let me know if you have any questions. No no I don't need it today, tomorrow or the next day is fine. Take your time. Cool thanks."

Every fucking time. Some people just like to hear themselves talk I swear.

>WHAT ARE YOU DOIN WIT MY DAUGHTER???

Nice reddit repost faggot

CAN SOMEONE GET LINE TWO, TALKING TO THE BITCH FROM ACC--- oh sorry, I--I thought......no....I wasn't....yes, anything. Really? You sure? Ok fine 8pm tonight your place. Bring my snow chains.

mind if I bring a friend to the celebration? He's uhh..new in town and doesn't know many people. Ignore the black van and ear piece

NO

OH SHIT SO THATS WHY POLICE IS HERE

Sir its not just me...it was the whole office taking turns...by the way did you call the cops maybe?

heh, he touched a picture of my butt

Hi guys. This corporate messaging to inform all of you that wages will be cut in half across the board for the foreseeable future. Medical benefits have been revoked to help us meet our bottom line.

Best regards,
Jason Goldstein

Time for another pogrom.....

Hi guys im the new IT...here to upgrade your Adobe Reader and Flash player...

Sure. Just make sure you turn off your phones before coming in and that all doors remain locked. If anyone asks my name is Papa John and I'm not your supervisor.

...

*tries to turn printer on*
Come on...

What is this site called reddit?

Not nice to say curse words in the workplace.

whoever photocopied his ass, management would like you to know that you have aids... and worms it appears.

"Corporate accounts payable, please hold."
"Corporate accounts payable, please hold"
"Corporate accounts payable, please hold."
"Corporate accounts payable, please hold."

*Kicks printer*
I need to print dammit....

*Starts to violently attack printer*
Work you piece of shit!

"Has anyone seen my stapler?"

Woooo calm down... Wait is that a ported barrel? How do you like that? Have you found the flash to be to much when shooting at night?

I threw it into the dumpster.

Calm down dude im the IT lemme have a look...

>Downloads Adobe reader

Try it now.

she said her dad is ded

YOU CUNT.

removed monitor from desk, places on scanning surface, request scan instead.

*Attempts to start it again*
Not working...

Use a glue stick.

is it a red swingline?

...

(sips coffee)

So....are you into golf?

I see...fuck i fear for the worst...lemme check again

yep its the infamous hackers from channel 4...fuck nothing can help us anymore

hi HR sent me said there have been some issues with the servers?

I am in the cubicle next to yours, clicking my pen and squeaking my chair.

Hey everyone. Just letting you all know that you all know that nobody will be receiving a Christmas bonus this year. It appears a few of the boys and I managed to blow it during the Fishing Derby.

*looks up at what's going on*

FUCK!!

Dude, come sniff my chair. Smells like ass.

Its the damn hackers man...im working on it as we speak but i promise nothing.

Shit, wrong thread

nah man i dont have time with all these attacks happening at our servers...

May... maybe..

get off your phone you should be working

hmm let me take a look

I pass you coming out of the washroom.

"Nothing like shitting on company time, eh user?"

sure be my guest...
>gives you admin login and password

Ohh damn i hate this work

I quit.

>being confused with programming

moron

Alright everyone, I brought the donut holes! But, you can only have a max of about 3. And please use the napkins; if you drop one, I can't let you have another.

THEN WHO WAS PHONE

Hey guys I brought some donuts!

I GOT FIRED