ITT: We post new sport ideas/variations for the Olympics and hope someone spots them so they are installed in the next Olympics.
Running backwards (more useful than you think)
Running while screaming (emulate our ancestors battlecry)
Mma (16 man tournament using octagon with pride rules and elbows)
banter contest in very limited time (cuz why not)
walk the most slowly possible from A to B without stopping
staying inside your room browsing the internet for the longest time
Extreme Golf. Instead of being based on shots taken, it's based on time taken. Players have to run to the ball and hit it as quick as possible.
Where do I find more of this bucktoothed babushka?
4x400m relay, but instead of transfering a relay baton you have to jerk your teammate off before he can continue the race
Bo Taoshi
running while spinning your arms forward
running while spinning your arms backwards
running while spinning one arm forwards and the other one backwards
the same with the other arm
MEDALS MEDALS MEDALS
blowjobs
200m swimming hurdles. Twice per length they have to slide across platforms in the water like seals, no standing up or crawling allowed
bring back Olympic landscaping
>crabwalk, four-legged, backwards, handstand, weather/terrain conditions
There are more 'real' ways to run. No need for arm flailing categories imo.
running forwards and backwards is more different than freestyle and butterfly swimming
Also: Tae Bo
Men's competition is held first. Gold medalist is whoever can last the longest. The women's competition is next, and the winner is whoever can make the gold medalist cum the quickest. This gives more incentive for the men's competition.
You know, I'm still surprised we still don't have a running contest with your arms behind your back like sanic or naruto. Imagine all the autists training their entire lives to finally go fast at the Olympics.
competitive eating poisonous style
Who is this jizz whiz?
Beach football should have been in this olympics
Badass pentathlon:
1.Fire 2 hand guns whilst in the air (have to hit cool bad guy targets)
2.Canyon jump (jump over a canyon on a motorbike , most distance wins)
3.Best french kisser (judged sport by a panel of experts women)
4.Horse archery
5.Badass line (competitors put into a situation blind folded , have to mock kill someone and say a badass line) judged event
Two runners start on opposite sides of a running track. They both start running the same direction. First runner to pass the other runner wins.
This sounds hardcore as fuck
Do you remember your first blowjob Greece?
Underwater breatholding. The point is to see who can hold their breath the longest underwater.
Competition would include a preliminary round where people are ranked based on measured time. The top 64 qualify for head-to-head tournament.
Don't troll me
Going full neckbeard now, but this shit right here:
youtube.com
youtube.com
We could have a lot of events for this:
Longsword
Saber
Spear
Viking style with an axe and circular shield
Gladiator style with free shield choice and gladius
Team's battle
Freestyle
Remove all [sports]ball
Remove Golf
Remove Equestrian
You know what? Fuck it, remove everything that isn't Athletics, Archery, Weightlifting, Wrestling, Thriatlon, Wrestling, Judo, Taekwondo, Fencing and Swimming.
Everything else has no place to make hommage to the ancient games.
Naruto running
I can't believe this isn't a sport yet
>head to head
>not having heats of 8 like swimming to speed things up
1m sprint
Impossible to predict
this would be so ebin.
Like seeing all the good 80's movies in real life
Crab cóck
Is such a thing even possible?
>banter contest in very limited time (cuz why not)
Gold: Australia
Silver: ???
Bronze: ???
who dat
damn who dis?!
Can we get fucking sauce now? The boner in my pants ain't going away itself.
Shitposting olympics
Competitive Vaping
1. place - Australia
2. place - Turks
3. place - ?
Its called int and aus have already won
Nice tits.
Weaboo genocide fucking when?
Heh.
how about wall building competition?
will probably need a demonstration somewhere though/
Katana sparring
2 categories - (neckbeard and scrawny), male only
Each competitor is dressed in suits with a fedora
Fedora tipping
>2 categories - (neckbeard and scrawny)
holy fuck I'm dying
>banter contest
Who would be in the final? Aussies vs Japs?
C R A B C O C K
R
A
B
C
O
C
K
Japs are hilariously bad at banter though
they're way too angry like all the time, just like Koreans
milk eye squirting
>implying there aren't fedora equivalents of females thinking they 're classy but actually being socially awkward
Categories should be here such as whythefuckamIhereagain and IhavenoideawhatIveactuallysaid
Gold: Australia
Silver: Canada
Bronze: USA
finding source on this semen demon
keep us informed user.
Bring back the Hoplite Race. Running in full armor.
they need to go back to competing nude
haha, that would actually be better than golf.
>full armor
>is naked
Cum shot distance shooting.
Dabbing / ryrhmic dab
Probably Aussies vs England.
Banter is the only thing that Brits are truly great at
no I mean that should be the sport added
pls post sauce, I gotta go
damn you user, only spooks or future spooks would medal in that
Does he need to cum?
Nice.
Only american athletes allowed.
This.
Would watch with popcorn.
Add it with being chased by a knife.
Also good
Wouldn't the best reaction win?
Also this.
Would be great.
Mine:
>400m sprint in a sumo-suit.
>Swimming with clothes on.
>Marathon backwards or on the knees.
>Football with no outside. Add walls or something like that. Less time-loss.
>Cano, Sailing and all that water shit, when you are not actually in the water, in superhot water. If you fall, you burn.
Nice blog
Parkour
I cant believe this isnt a thing yet. It would be fucking cool to watch.
Of course. How'd the next runner know when to start.
I think this video and "vape culture" gave me cringe cancer.
Mario Party 1 stick spinning minigames.
Maybe a couple of times going up and down would be okay. Or to the point he gets hard?
Bulletball
nah "just a few time up and down"? China would cheat again. Shooting the load is like shooting the starting pistol. Everybody could see it's actually a legit start.
Slow biking. Winner is who finishes last without putting any part of his body on the ground. Bikes have to follow the same regulations as current bike events.
The more I think about this, the more interesting I think it would be.
sounds brutal
>rhythmic dab
kek
I think you will enjoy the match sprint.
I think they should just televise the Olympic orgy, and give medals for the most cumshots given and taken
boxing on ice
youtube.com
4x100 mixed relay (2 male, 2 female) for swimming so USA can get even more medals
Last 200m ruins it desu.
>moloko
d-does it literally say milk on her tits?
Bring back Pankration
if Banter was a sport, it should run concurrently with every other sport. there would be official banter competitors in the crowds or on the sidelines at any/all events, they can move freely and banter with athletes, coaches, judges, fans, anyone at any time. some australian can approach a sprinter who's hanging their head after they just lost a race and not give them a moment of peace, and if they get popped in the face over it they just moved up like 20 points in the standings.
underwater hoops race would be cool
400m
5 seconds penalty for missing a hoop(sensors will detect if you pass through)
it's an old design from soviet-made concentrated milk with sugar in tin cans. it's an old and very famous design in Russia, like Worhol's Spam cans.
search for "cгyщeнoe мoлoкo" if you interested.
Hi Austria where are the medals?
Winter is coming, my friend.
Bring back gladiators. Fight to death and honour for your country
You are GOAT in winter sports, but how come you suck at summer games so bad?
The bar in winter sports is lower.
Nah, Slovenia is doing relatively good for our size in both winter and summer olympics, Austria should have no excuse here.
Mayaball.
>response baiting
>mod deletion avoidance
>300 thread shitposting
>1000 sticky thread shitposting
>mental gymnastics
the Sup Forums games
What is boxing
If pingpong is an olympic sport, why not Air Hockey??
I'd try out for the US Olympic air hockey squad desu
Because that would be too sick.
>Olympic Foosball
Could have doubles and singles events.