Hey Sup Forumsros so I need about $10 grand withn a week...

Hey Sup Forumsros so I need about $10 grand withn a week. I can't really say what I need the money for buy its very important. So let's say that hypothetically I was going to steal to get the money. What do you guys think the best/least risky place to steal from is? I obviously would like to avoid getting shot or arrested if I can help it.

If you're white, don't worry about getting shot.
Also, you're probably fucked m8. You're gonna have to go into hiding.

I am white but I dont want to break into random peoples houses for that reason. A lot of people have guns and can shoot just for being in their house.

>I am white
Have you considered taking out a loan?

I would rather break into a business in the middle of the night because less risk. What would be a good business to break into though? I heard jewelry stores lock up all the gold and diamonds in a safe at night.

I would but I already fucked my credit.

Turn tricks

I doubt I could make that much money in a week or else I would probably even consider it.

Sell an organ

How would I go about doing that? It's not too legal in Murrica.

I think a testicle is worth like 4k

For real? Lmfao. I totally would sell a testicle. I dont even need them, I already have 2 kids.

Bump.

Where the hell would you even sell a testicle???

Steal from a small time drug dealer

Locate an area with 2-4 banks that are all within' 2 miles of each other. Steal a car, rob all the banks consecutively, take no more than 60 seconds per bank, don't worry about alarm trips, keep time UNDER 60 seconds ffs. If you can rob the first one without being caught, then all cops eyes will be on that one bank, no one will suspect you robbing several at once, the remaining banks should be cake fam. You're welcome.

Start selling cocaine, like right now

Or hook up a connection, and smuggle some drugs

Will either get the cash, or at the very worst go to jail

worth a shot if you ask me

robbing banks is really your only option but good luck getting away with it

How would I pick a bank to rob? What makes one better than another? Or are they all basically the same in terms of security? I'm pretty inexperienced at this. I would literally be breaking bad for the first time...

Way more than that. You can sell one for like twenty three grand.

I guess if you see someone on the news in southern california for bank robbery gone wrong in the next couple days you will know who it is.

Yea but where the hell would you even sell it?

ill give you 23k paypal if you send me a testicle in the post, but i want it next day delivery

If you mean in regards as to which bank to rob FIRST of the bunch, local/non national bank chains would be the first one to hit, they may or may not have the best system, after that it doesn't matter, because the cops will be busy with that one Robbery they would never guess you to actually rob more (the absolute madman). If you rob just one though, they put out an APB on your vehicle and pull you over on the street and you're SOL. BUT, if you knock off another bank within 3 minutes of the first bank, then there's another Call for that bank af they're confused af, then you rob another and then another, and they're procedure gets all fucked because everyone is all over the place with their dicks in their hands and you drive to the nearest apartment community, ditch the car, and hide in the foundation hatch of one of those apartments for about 36 hours. Then you're good to go. Just make sure you don't go back for the fuckig car or do anything retarded. Also, PRO TIP: download a police scanner app and have it set to the area you are robbing. Make sure to get the FUCK out of town too.

Just scam a super old elderly lady.

problem solved

Lol..... I was hoping it would at least be a surgical procedure performed by a doctor. I can't imagine how the hell I would do that myself...

Interesting. Do you think it would be possile for one person to pull off or would you need an accomplice?

this is actually a super common thing. i work as a cashier and it happens at least once a month where old ladies are tricked into buying multiple $500 visa gift cards and telling the scammer the card info over the phone

You gotta go to vegas.

I don't really know any old ladies. I do remembe one time when my grandma was robbed years ago though. They followed her home from the casino and tookher purse with $3k in it. Probably the easiest money they ever made.

How would they get tricked?

People sell testicles in Vegas? I dont know why but that seems hilarious to me.

Anything is possible, but to not have a driver definitely adds time (starting and stopping the engine). If you leave the engine running with no one in he car, you risk some shifty kids going for a joy ride. The odds are slim of that happening, but it could happen. It's best to factor out as many risks as possible. If you can, get an accomplice to help you. If you can't, just do your best and don't fuck up. I have never, nor do I know anyone, that has pulled off a bank job and gotten away with it by themselves. I know one guy that pulled a bank job by himself. Guess what? He got caught lol. He did 5 years armed robbery.

Just 5 years? That seems almost worth it. I don't know really what other options I have at this point.

tell us why you could that much theoretically

could need sorry im high

What about home invasion though? If i scoped out a house for a day or so I am sure that I could get in and out fairly quickly when nobody is home. Do you know anyone who has experience with that? There are plenty of multi-million dollar houses not too far from me. They have to have jewelry, collectables or something of value right?

It was his first offense and he was like 18. He was so stupid, didn't even wear a mask or a disguise of any kind. Just walked in wearing his normal clothes and hat. Dumb ass.

Yeah you could try it I guess. The glaring issues with robbing a house include A. Rare items that can be tracked. B. Large house = lot of rooms = lot of space to hide the good shit. You would be spending a lot of time looking for valuables/money. C. Rich people usually keep their shit locked up in a safe. D. If you get caught snooping around a rich neighborhood, they usually have on grounds security that will note you down if they feel they need to talk to you because someone reported you looking suspicious.

watch the movie blank check[

Find a bank with lots of alleys or trees/forest around it, be in an out in 60 seconds. Leave a change of clothes in the forest or alley and then just keep moving on foot for about 12 hours or so.

Depending on your State. Banks you deal with police, houses you deal with armed people with a 100% chance of getting shot at.

Not to mention you'd have to find a way to sell all that shit as well.

Hahahaha yea...

I would only need a few high end items though I would think. It seems like there would be more ways to duck in and out of a neighborhood on foot than to try to escape in a getaway vehicle from a bank with probably armed security gaurds though? Again I admit I am a novice so not too sure which would be more risky.

...

Yea that makes sense.

bank is definitely more risky. doesnt mean a luxurious house isint risky tho... i vote for selling coke

Pick your poison man. If you aren't alone and have crowd control the bank would be way easier. If you are alone, they both have their pro's and cons. At this point you might as well go car jacking and break into really nice cars and take what you can before the owner runs out and shoots you. It really doesn't matter what you do. I'm just telling you what I would personally do if I was $10k in the whole to where the consequences were bad enough that the jail time or getting shot at would be worth it. I choose banks 10/10 times. Who the fuck wants to stand up to someone robbing insured money?

you could suck a thousand cocks for $10 a piece.

I only have a few hundred bucks. Even if I could buy and flip coke I dont think I have enough time to flip it fast enough.

What city are you from so I can see your fat neckbeard ass get arrested?

Ok cool. Bank it is. At least if you see me on the news in the next few days you will know that I was Sup Forums. Remember me gentlemen.

just sell all your organs

the average get away from a bank robbery is under 2k and the FBI gets involved. choose something else...like sucking cock.

Depending on how close you are to the mexican border you can steal a good looking pickup truck 2010 or better and get around 6 grand in mexico. Do it twice and you'll have your money. Just cross it as soon as you get it

Just look for news in southern california. If I'm successful then I will come back here to post under proxy. If not (which is a pretty big possibility) then it wont really matter.

invest in 20$ worth of kneepads

suck dicks for 70$ a client and get atleast 20 clients a day

problem solved.

Lmao @ retards these days thinking banks still have money in them other than the ATM. shieeet this aint the wild west you fucking autists.

rend a piece of construction equipment then sell it....

Only a restaurant after it close its door with only the employees inside.

just flip a house dude

>go to the bank
>ask teller to withdraw 100$
>she walks over to the atm in the lobby
>comes back with your money

Rich people like to keep their money on them in the form of jewelry and watches and rings. Best bet would be to rob them of those things.

you're going to get caught though. especially if you rob a bank. you should prob go to the police if this is life threatening.