Choose an useless superpower

Choose an useless superpower.

>The ability to warm up beer

Nice djöfulli lýst mér vel á þig.

>the power to be invisible when no one is looking.

Ability to cool down tea

The ability to sense whenever a moth is within a hundred yards.

Luminescent farts

levitate 2 centimeter above the ground

Ice-tea is pretty great.

That's actually bretty useful since you can avoid being detected by cameras

are you implying that there is no "too cold" with beer? are you american?

You could boil beer that a person has drunk and then rob their corpse.

The ability to increase gravity only upon myself.

Ooh that's good!

New thread! Scrap this one, its shit, OP.

New idea: Choose a useless superpower - other user's find a use for it.

>Implying creating energy out of nothing is not literally breaking the laws of the universe and exploitable to unbelievable levels

>the ability to cut bread in two identical half

>>the ability to cut bread in two identical half
Ahem... identical sandwiches!

I can impregnate any women i choose.

The ability to fly like Superman but only in planes

the ability to eat soup with a fork

super mine clearer power!

Ability cut bread

>The ability to see under clothes but only with ugly males

That would be pretty useful if all your spoons were dirty

The ability to check dubs

Ability to breath under water but only when you are not in contact with water

Perfect recall of every orgasm your parents have had and what got them off.

the power to kill yourself at the speed of time.

Obviously the ability to get a half chub when looking at a nice ass

Useful in winter on frozen ground or in any other slippery area. Additionally, no friction to the ground should make it easier to walk/levitate longer distances.

The ability to give niggers aids.

Superhero strength only when nuts are being sucked by a faggot op

Time travel but only during prison rape by black men

Bread cut

you can always put the soup into a cup and drink it

the ability to make immediately any piece of bread soaked in water

The ability to see under the clothes, but limitated to ugly people

So, constantly?

Ultimate knowledge of any language that has, is and will be but noone can understand you, and you cannot write or read.

The ability to make any cat meow on command, buy only if the cat feels like it.

The ability to post cp without being banned but only on /x/

Good for thwarting muslims

The ability to come up with funny useless superpower ideas on Sup Forums

You could warm up other peoples beers.

Make bread cut Good

Check Arabs at the airport

The ability to make a bed without any wrinkles in the sheets.

>build massive vats full of beer
>apply power to warm said beer
>have mechanism to pull heated beer out and turn heat into usable energy
>gg

and some beer types are drunk when warm.

Make bed cut good

Behold, The-Spectacular-Never-Gets-Wet-Boy!
Excuse the BO!

The ability to create invisible money.

Become an astronaut and walk normally on planets and in space stations.

Drinks unlimited amount of beer but always be needing to piss

Being able to talk to plants, but they can't talk back

The ability to blow air through your dickhole

All terrorists are ugly. You'd be rich as you would make security checks at airports. For the beautiful ones, the personnel will look after.

You could easily kidnap planes.

The ability to sauce the unsauceble. No wait, this would be a quite useful superpower...

Also, SAUCE?

lol

the ability to sneak on your tippy toes silently but only while screaming.
validate my power, if you can.

kekd

The ability to stop someone from sneezing

Diarrheakinesis

why would this be useless?

The power to re-grow fingernails at will but only by half an inch.

lel

Ability touch grills tits without peenie going boom

Glow in the dark sperm

What kinda speeds and amounts we talking here? I can see some use in having a penis mounted air cannon

Breathe under water as long as I am touching air.

That's actually me.

Best superpower ever. You'd be a milestone in porn industry as you just need an artificial sperm feeder. Endless cumshot. First man to do Bukakke alone. Drowning women.

dancing for money actually working for me.

Cos your mom is blowing me

The ability to identify straights and gays on Sup Forums

Damn. that would be outright hazardous.

The ability to feel someone else's pain

Infinetly stretchy nipples, except once stretched, they never go back. The longer they get, the easier they are to stretch.

>The ability to warm up beer
we already have that power

The ability to scream without a mouth.

Ability to turn tacos into shit

Get a UV-light, jerk off and be surprised.

I could see that being useful every now and again.

That's usefull. You could hide under water for hours just with your finger sticking out.
Or put a finger or a foot in a bag of air.

kek

Luftkanone

So half the people reading this?

the ability to be a nigger but can never change back.

how

Don't u have anus?

/thread

The ability to stop time for only yourself. Meaning you would be frozen in time and everyone else would carry on.

wet suit?

there's actually a tarantula that can do that. it uses its leg hairs to move the air bubbles to its book lungs.

the more you know

Imagine, it gets to the point where you nipples touch across the equator and a bunch of kids decide to stretch them even more for laughs.

The ability to smoke cigarettes without getting cancer but you have to have anal sex with a man every time you smoke

Too close to home

USA

>rape extremely attractive person
>Go to prison
>raped by black men
>time travel back before you committed the crime
You now know what it felt like having sex with a specific person

What if air was a rancid fart from my sphincter?

Kek