How do you kill a horse without making it look like a murder

How do you kill a horse without making it look like a murder

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taxus
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Put it on the road and drive into it really fast. claim it was an accident and it rant onto the road.
Remember to buy car insurance.

Ride a bull by its horns

>How do you kill a horse without making it look like a murder

Potassium Chloride is best.

Anti-freeze is poison and can be detected, but if they don't check the stomach/mouth then they might think that it just died.

how healthy is the horse

you dont, you dont kill a horse, you kill yourself OP, thats how you kill horse without making it look like a murder, because its not a murder, its your suicide OP

>Ride a bull by its horns

Wouldn't surprise me if there is gay porn of that.

4 horses total 3 small one medium size.

Hillarious and original.

you can't murder a horse, idiot. it's a horse. if you kill it, that's animal abuse. murder is the intentional and unlawful killing of another human.

just shoot it and eat it.

Bu-but horsies nee huggies and wuvies, not forever sweepees! Hurties is bad for horsies!

I need to make it look like a proper accident , they are in a penned field how do I explain hitting them on a road.

Honestly I'd be fine with them if I didn't have to look after the cunts and even then I would be OK , the last straw is the fact they essentially forced me to move to a nowhere town with no job prospects.

You know what I mean, I don't want to get caught.

why do you want to kill the horse?

Were the catalyst for me moving to a dead end nowhere town forcing me to quit my job and come to an area with 0 job prospects. Plus I hate them, dopy fucking cunts

>I need to make it look like a proper accident , they are in a penned field how do I explain hitting them on a road.

Kill all 4 . . . very difficult. Just kill 1 with poison.

All 4 drop dead is highly suspicious.

Are there any powerlines that could fall while they're all drinking?

Not while they are drinking , plus the power line in this shit ass town is probably providing my home with power. The computer is the only thing stopping me literally beheading them with a piano wire.

how? give us the story, maybe we will help..

Good point. 4 is a stretch maybe I should do one every few months but even then that's dodgy.

In basic terms

>wife does not like area wants to move

> I like the area but agree to look at houses

> tells me she wants a home with a paddock for her cunt horses.

> have to look out in the sticks because 5 acres of land in a place with human contact costs a lot.

> now I'm here and being forced to look after those cunt horses

Don't get me wrong there was weeks of arguing but she told me she would make money by doing some etsy shit but hasn't lifted a finger since being here.

Your solution is NOT to kill the horses. The solution is to grow up.

If you are miserable then it's up to you to change the circumstances. This might mean breaking ties with family and friends who want you on a leash doing their bidding.

It might mean giving up security.

It might mean being more miserable for a while while you set up your new life.

In the end it means that you proactively manage your life rather than going with the flow of circumstances that you can control.

Change yourself, not the horses.

The cunt isn't the horse. It's your fucking wife

I'd rather take care of the horses, I never liked the cunts

Electrodes in their anus, large voltage. Done right it will look like they died from colic....unless you do all 4 at the same time, that might arouse suspicions!

Oh yeah that's true. But I'd be able to enjoy it more if the horses weren't around.

That's sounds like a funny idea but I think they have been checked for all that shite.

>I'd rather take care of the horses, I never liked the cunts

sounds like a dayvorce is in order.

so get a divorce or make her take care of her own horses.

The easiest solution is to off the horses. Either way all they do is eat and shit, they are a bigger waste of carbon than even myself.

burn the barn down. collect insurance double win. kill all 4 in one go

How does potassium chloride act to kill a horse?

feed them this:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taxus
highly toxic for horses, they sometimes eat it by mistake so it shouldnt be too obvious. if they dont eat it, sugarcoat it

I'm thinking heart attack but I don't know how to enduce that on a horse (op here)

Horse assassin.

>How does potassium chloride act to kill a horse?

It's the last ingredient in the lethal injection cocktail.

It's also produced by the body as part of decomposition and so it hard to detect on autopsy as a cause of death.

Dayvorce, don't poison OP>

This is a good idea, I heard ragwort was also poisonous to them.

Sounds like OP got dumped and wants to take revenge by killing the girls horse.

It's a tough choice but the pussy game ridiculous

Regardless of what you think the scenario is I would rather you give me ideas on how to kill the horses

But then she gets 60% of his stuff unless she signed a prenup

Fuck the horses?

Fake a suicide note, signed by "Horse".

Oh fuck I completely forgot about prenuptial. Yeah dead horses then.

Why though?

no.

>make some pitfalls
>cover them up
>ride the horses with wife into pitfall
>break the horses leg
>get mildly bruised in the process
>put the horse down
>look like a merciful killing

Lmao ~ faggot OP

Make sure to break it's legs. It also has to be a race whorse.

>cut his throat
>Let a paper with written "good-bye cruel World"
>It's now à suicide
>You're free

No what?
It's the law

according to my "resarch" taxus works best, you dont need a ton of it, and horses are actually stupid enough to eat that stuff even if you dont want to kill them. so even if somebody realizes how the horses died, taxus does not necessarily lead to the assumption that somebody killed them.

Sometimes they dont really go for it, but since horses eat sugar cubes of your hand i figured glazing the taxus should work pretty well. simply dissolve sugar in water in about a 1:1 ratio and coat the taxus a couple of times, the fucking horses should eat it up like nothing.

>added benefit: horses cant even puke it out again

/thread

if all they do is eat and shit, why do you care? theyre your wifes horses, theyre her responsibility. don't be that guy that sleeps on the couch when you get in an argument, stand your ground.

You guys have it all wrong!!! You allow the horse to accidentally break its leg and then PETA idiots will kill the horse themselves, a great example of this is when a race horse breaks a leg.

soundcloud.com/bacd/air-sprays
UNITY

60%? no.

it's not the law. that isn't how divorce works.

To be honest she said to me a few months back that when the horses died we could downsize the land again (move back). I can't physically make my wife do her horses and to be honest they have broken out a few times and keep fucking up the lawn with their stupid fucking club feet.

Poison

summon your autismo strength and punch the fucker right between the eyes, nobody is going to believe you punched a horse to death

if your wife isn't going to take care of her own horses then you have a reason for her to sell them.

They aren't worth shit, 3 of them have lame legs and one of them is like 26 years old

Horses can't vomit? I never knew that. ~ op

again, not your horses, not your problem. did she have them before you got married? if so then they are hers and only hers. if not, theyre both of yours.

Stand behind it and start making wolf noises. Then when it kicks you, shoot it and say it was self defense. Sprinkle some Skittles around to sweeten the deal.

Me want killy killy. Understand?

youre a cunt and so is your wife.

I don't own a gun (UK fag) plus she would never forgive me.

Take it to an abattoir, steak is delish

How's that gonna help off the horses? Oh wait you aren't contributing anything nor being funny. Lick my cunt

Sell it to Tesco eh? Lol

>mfw Americans call shooty shooty "horse murder"

just feed it sodium chloride. i hear its venomous.

Once again, I think taxus is the best solution. You dont even need to buy some semi-obvious chemicals and it might as well have been the horses own fault. Its a pretty safe way of doing it, youll get your killy killy. just make sure they dont go to the vet after you fed them, it takes a couple of hours to poison and actually kill a horse.
When you harvest the special pony-food, take about twice as much as you think is sufficient.

good luck, user! youre not the only one hating horses.

>added benefit #2: the meat should still be edible

I don't know why they don't sell it. Maybe I'll start my own 'Pikey' brand

I'll legit look at that but I need to make sure it doesn't leave obvious poison marks or some shit. I doubt they will do an autopsy.

electrocute it and then pretend it was struck by lightning

Lmao pikey burgers, I think you are on to a winner mate Lmao, you can deal with the business side and I'll be the horse assassin for you~op

sodium chloride is definitely what you want then. it's very venomous.

You have the best idea so far for sure. I'm 90 % sure I've seen it growing around but I'll have to check. You don't like the dopey cunts either then?

Don't know where I can low key buy sodium chloride.

You'd need two chairs, some strong rope, a suicide note and a very high branch.

either this or dihydrogen monoxide. they'll appear to die from natural causes.

amazon.

If it even grows around where you live thats perfect!
Nope, one of these cunt horses almost killed a family member. Kick straight to the head, luckily no horseshoe at the back. this was the main reason i started looking into killing horses without raising suspicion.

Yeah but the second my wife just opens all the mail here.

...

dissolve sodium chloride into liquid dihydrogen monoxide and put it in their drinking water.

trust me, it will work. they'll look like they died naturally.

there are plenty of stores that sell sodium chloride.

...

I'll have to check, and that sucks, a horse bucked my mum off once because a tree blew slightly . They are the most pussy animals on the planet I swear.

Lol ~ op

see

Do you feed them daily? If so what kind of feed

Depends on what state you live in and what's the woman's financial status whatever. But as far as I can tell OP makes all the money so even if it's 50/50 that's half of all of his money earned by him, because since he has a spouse both of their names are under the same bank account so then they cut the savings in half

It's this food mix thing you add water to it. I think it's like oats and shit

Any pellets in it?

Yeah quite a few

no, that's not the law. most states don't split everything 50/50. divorce isn't that simplistic.