How do i write a script that doesnt suck?

how do i write a script that doesnt suck?

i want to write a mockumentary styled tv show set in a grocery store. much like our office and P&R or the UK's trollied.

how do i do this and not suck complete ass and balls

Write good

stop trying to write with a mouse.

for real though. what do i need to do before i actually sit down at the keyboard? am i making up characters before i start? or sort of as i go? do i let the story write itself, or should i sit down and pan out a general idea for like 5 episodes?

>i want to write a mockumentary styled tv show set in a grocery store. much like our office and P&R or the UK's trollied.
Don't start by copying. Try to think of something original.

the idea isnt really a COPY per se, i have worked in a grocery store for the past 6 years, so im drawing from personal experience. i just learned recently about trollied, and its not very amazing

turn the computer off. go somewhere quiet and start to think about a conversation between two characters in your store.
just chat to yourself for hours and record it as audio so you dont have to write anything down. play it back later and write down anything you think is good.

You are the only one that can answer those questions for yourself. You have to just sit down and write like shit and have someone read it and shit all over you and you do that for years and then hope to improve as a writer. Writing great scripts isn't some side hobby you can just do on a saturday when youre bored.

OMG HOW DID U KNOW IT WAS SATURDAY 2SPOOKY4ME

IV WRITTEN ALOT, JUST NEVER IN A SCRIPT OR SCREENPLAY FORMAT. whooops caps. so how am i sitting down differently? i feel like mockumentary is especially a hard genre to write because of all the subtle camera shots

A lot of that comes out of improv and the actual shooting of the scene. You shouldn't try to think about it as a finished product, because it isn't. A screenplay is the blueprint for the finished product.

so maybe the thing i love about the office wasnt actually in the screenwriting itself, but possibly just some chem istry on set between director and cast?

Read scripts. Then write better ones.

bump for scripts to read

You mean like that other primetime show that's a mockumentary in a supermarket?

superstore and ten items or less are both hot garbage though

Don't
Please don't
The fact that you actually saved that image to start this thread with and your list of inspirations already blasts a red flag that you're really unaware of how unfunny you really are. Don't make your coworkers suffer from the awkward shit you try to pull on them that's been done thousands of times before, and don't make them pretend to enjoy your personal interests

lol, i dont work there anymore. i think im pretty funny, but that doesnt necessarily translate into being able to write a funny script. its not a format iv ever really tried before, and if i do i actualy want to do some research and try to do it right (although im sure it wont be any good)

who rustled your jimmies mate? sounds like youve had one too many scripts shot down eh?

you dont think the office is funny?

that image is funny

It's probably just /swg/ overflow. They're all angry.

Have you written anything yet?

i havent, not in the screenplay format. thats why im so interested in the process of setting up a sitcom. The Office is probably my favorite show of all time, even though it definitely died down in the later seasons. I worked in my families grocery store in a low income area from the age of 18-24, and i have alot of stories and personal anecdotes to share from those years. i literally cannot count how many times i thought "you couldnt even write this shit".

im just very confused about the whole setting up part. do i just write one episode at a time? or do i think ahead and try to do it all at once? do i make the characters? or do i let them create themselves? i want to write something GREAT and ACTUALLY funny.

YOU DONT FUCK WITH CHIN

That's an AVGN quote

Come up with witty quips and then base your script around them

dane cook sounds right up your idea of "comedy" highly recommend him for somebody like you go check over the stuff hes written and try to gather some inspiration

lol. not a fan at all, but ok. im going to see colin jost live in a little bit and im hoping i can get a second to talk to him. he was president of the harvard lampoon and was head writer of snl for a bit.


you must be really stupid if you compare the humor of the office to dane cook. im sure blue collar comedy tour is much more your speed.

Mikey? Is that you?

A photographer once said "it has to come from the heart in order to reach the heart."

You can apply that from romantic comedies to slasher films. Care about all your characters, even the assholes.

Cut that shit out, Snyder

>gets help from someone
>has the audacity to then insult them

Fine I'll say it. You are never going to get anywhere writing scripts. Your idea is just The Office in a grocery store. You lack originality.

PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE

Write every day. It's a skill you have to learn. Talent rarely exists in writing. Learn structure. Learn how humans act. Talk from experience but in terms of feelings not physical activities.

And write. Don't talk about writing. Don't spend time deciding what software to use. Don't spend time trying to figure out which book you should read. Don't spend time asking how to write. You have to WRITE.

You must be pretty awesome beyond belief if you think Jost has funny jokes.

This is actual advice op. Grab a fucking notebook some pencils and fuck off elsewhere. Being near computer is too much distraction.

Seriously. The best stuff might/will come when you don't stress out too much about format, style or whatever.
Write it all out. Spew it out. Read it out loud with friends. And they're not seeking to insult your intelligence (assuming you have any), so really embrace the feedback

SNL isn't blue collar? The Office isn't blue collar? Dude, network media is predominantly all about blue collar.
And Colin Jost? Dude. That guy can eat my boogers

Before you sit down on a computer you actually have to live a life in order talk about life.

Do you have experience working at a grocery market?

George Lucas writes his scripts on those yellow papers with pencil

if you look above i said iv worfked at my families grocery store in a low income area for the last 6 years.

no, its not really. neither is the office.

i apologize, i thought they were trying to make a snide pasisve aggressive joke, as dane cook isnt necesarrily widely liked anymore. in fact, widely talked shit about.

yes the president of the harvard lampoon and previous head writer on snl, and lorne michaels little baby, doesnt have any talent. next opinion please.

The setting is a grocery store so that makes things easier. What kinds of people work there? Work place comedies are typically based around the character, so work on them and things will eventually click. Let the plot serve the characters and let the stories and comedy come from their interactions with each other and the customers.

Write down ideas. Funny bits you've had happen, things you thought were interesting, etc. Just start getting stuff on paper and don't worry about doing anything with it yet.

You need to know every detail of how this is going to function intimately. Know the characters, know the store, know the customers. Once you know that you can start tying it all together.

holy shit finally, a response that is what i was looking for!!! thank you man this is solid advice.

i wanted to say to people a sitcom is about the characters, not the setting.
The office wasnt about an office at all, but the intimate interactions of the characters. It just so happened to take place at an office. could have been a summercamp, auto shop, grocery store, etc

Go watch a making of of clerks and try to copy him.

>yes the president of the harvard lampoon and previous head writer on snl, and lorne michaels little baby, doesnt have any talent. next opinion please.


You have to be trolling, right? If not this automatically disqualified you from being funny. SNL and the lampoon have been complete shit since the 80s.

"SNL hasnt been funny since the golden era"

shut the fuck up you judgemental stupid twat. nobody gives a FUCK about you and your dumbass nonsense opinions.