Last week I made the SHITTIEST decision of my life

Last week I made the SHITTIEST decision of my life.

>be me
>have girlfriend of almost a year
>gf and I fight
>breakup.gif
>I decide to make myself happy for once
>text up local slut
>hit it off as usual
>she's 6/10 but was tested recently and clean
>drive 20 minutes to her house
>pick her up
>we get right into it
>she's kinky as fuck, insists on fucking her ass
>thisisfuckingawesome.jpg
>stick it in her ass
>feelsgoodman
>after the fifth thrust... it hits me.
>shitsmell.scent
>ignore it. bust inside her butt after a minute.
>pull out
>say "ummm hey I gotta go back home"
>rush her out of the car, after she's gone, I turn on my flashlight on my phone and inspect myself
>shit all over my dick, brown and sludgy
>use napkins to get it off of my dick
>ruined my underwear, had to ditch those
>text her and flip (shit) on her
>tells me that I shouldn't talk to other girls after I recently broke up with my gf
>tells me that it was to teach me a lesson
>MFW she did that on purpose


I want to honestly beat the hell out of this girl, but I've got too much to lose. How can I get back at her? (I can't leak nudes, I don't have them.)

How bout sauce? ;)

lmao you wanna make an omelette you gotta break some eggs

u fucked so win for you

She didnt do that on purpose. She was embarrassed as fuck

Does she know that you recently broke up with your gf?

yes, we talked a little bit when my girl and i were still together

Pour bags of flower on her lawn and spray it down with water. It makes a rock like layer

stop being a faggot, it's only a bit of shit

Well if she's a local slut, tell a friend to text her up. Make a codeword or sign. Your friend goes to the house and you tag along. When your friend enters the house, go to a window where you can see whats going on. Let your friend make her undress first, then your friend will do the codeword/sign you made earlier. Run in and take pictures to leak on Sup Forums or whatever. (Make sure your friend is still dressed and not in any of the photos)

That may sound retarded but it's the only thing I could think of to get back at her lol

no, it was a coat of thick, slimy, stinky shit on my dick.

It wasn't on purpose , they can't shit on command . Also stop complaining if you fuck ass you take the risk

you can tell when you have to shit that bad, though. everyone can. yet she insisted I stick it in her ass.

I shall reveal you something:
Asshole = poop hole

You're welcome, next time you'll be prepared.

Get back at her? You fucked her in the ass. You have nothing to get back at her for.

She wanted you to push the shit deeper in

that's why you make sure 'enema' is in a girl's vocabulary before you butt fuck her

Best thing you can do OP, is tell your ex what happened and then laugh about it as you tell her, just to show how little you give a fuck.

Bonus points for added details.

>anal sex with a stranger
>not using a condom
you deserve this OP

Hey dumbass, you stuck your dick inside a persons rectum.
You do know that is the exit hole for shit?
Why are you suprised to have shit on your dick you fucking moron.

Just wait, opportunities will come knocking.
Revenge is best served cold remember.

wow you're such a faggot hahahaha
if she didn't wanted to clear her asshole
that's ok, she doesn't have the obligation

stop bitching about it, count

Shit happens sometimes with anal sex. You need to be comfortable with that possibility if you're going to do it. Less likely with men, in my experience.

god damn you fucking pussy. Just fucking let it go like anyone else would. Or you could just kill yourself

It could happen even when the bitch wasn't doing that on purpose.

Just wipe your dick with alcoholic wipes so you don't get an infection. It's too late now of course but always have those at hand.

Kill her. I would shame her publicly.

fucking faggot.

Just hire someone who has a real nasty std to hook up with her. Or throw poop at her house lmao

That happened.

>How can I get back at her?
you childish fuck

post nudes