soup Sup Forums >have gf of 6 months >both in our mid twenties, she is 3 years older than me >really hitting it off, like we are meant for each other since the beginning >no problems until I have to go back to my hometown for a few days to help with my father's work >small-time arguing and solving it within the hour >finally come to hometown >have to work constantly, my line of work dictates that basically, my full attention has to be there, nowhere else >she starts complaining after the first two days that I'm ignoring her >explain to her what I do, very detailed explanation >doesn't believe anything, says I'm ignoring her because instead of working I'm out having fun/cheating >show her proof of my work >doesn't believe me >youeitherfixyourshitorweredone.webm.bak >tells me if *I* can't find a solution, then this is it >tell her this isn't just my problem, we have to solve this together >repeats what she said >say alright then, I guess we're done >feel like shit
Did I do wrong Sup Forums? Was it only my responsibility to ignore my work and pay attention to her? Am I really that much of an asshole? Keep in mind, I'm working about 12-15 hours a day, and have to do so for another week.
pic not related
Aiden James
the bitch deserved it, you probably do a good job, no worries user
Liam Hill
I feel sorry for you. You did what you had to and you were 100% right. She did not understand cause probabile she did not want to understand at all
Jayden Allen
she probably was making excuses and just wanted to break up and thats why she wouldnt except the proof
Lincoln Ross
accept* i mean
Blake Robinson
forgot to mention >she starts making plans for us moving in together because she is "at an age where she has to think about her life" >was looking for a job at the time >tell her we've only been together for 6 months, I can't be sure about something like that, even if we are great together (been living for like 4 months at my apartment, hers was being paid by her parents) >basically starts telling me, again, that we can't be together if we don't move in together (or at least our relationship will change to the point where we won't be able to be together anymore) >try to calm her down and explain that it's kind of too soon, and I don't feel 100% into this plan >keeps arguing about it >tell her we'll talk about it after I come back from my hometown
Leo Lee
sad bump
Charles Taylor
>Doesn't understand that work takes time out of your day >Parents paid for her apartment >Mid twenties
Sounds like you dodged a bullet, my friend. I wouldn't feel bad about this were I you.
John Miller
she actually was looking for a job, she just hasn't had one in a year
Bentley Rogers
I don't blame you for feeling like shit. That fucking blows. But to be honest, if she didnt beleive that, your probably better off. What elese would she accuse you of in the future you know? That sucks anaon, but your probably better off with somebody who actually trusts you.
Angel Foster
Yea man. She sounds like a manipulative child. Your WAAAAAY better off. Don't worry.
Benjamin Mitchell
Like other anons pointed out, you probably dodged a bullet there, fampai.
Good on ya big boy.
Angel Scott
Thanks guys. But for some reason, it feels like I lost the one chance I had at actually having a person I could trust and have a good life with. It seemed like we both wanted the same things, that we could, at least emotionally, support each other and push each other's limits in a good way.
Isaiah King
Definitely dodged a bullet I was gonna suggest you try and patch things up when you get back but steer clear She sounds like the sort to lie about birth-control to nail you down
Don't even go back for breakup sex unless you've had a vasectomy
Jayden Lee
My problem with what your post concerns is that, she always seemed down to earth and trustworthy. She wasn't a bitch of any sort, she was supportive usually, she let me have my personal time when I needed it, everything. She seemed perfect in every way.
Jeremiah Mitchell
forgot a pic
Adrian Allen
Wanting to move in together after 6 months reeks of insecurity. That she couldn't respect your obvious hesitance to the issue makes it much worse 6 months isn't much of a sacrifice if it will leave you sorted for life. Her game plan sounds like it was to get you trapped. So if you won't show your devotion by moving in, she'll probably trap you with a kid If she's ready to move in, she' considered marriage and a family, remember
Carter Diaz
There's a reason someone her age was single when you met her >was she a spoilt cunt and expects her own way all of the time? >was it she's a complete selfish bitch >was she single because if you don't do everything that selfish bitch wants She threatens to end every relationship. You dodged a bullet user you hardly know the bitch 6 fucking months?
Jason Hughes
Not getting attention for 2 weeks and the relationship is gone? topkek. You dodged a crazy nut bullet here OP. If she was 17 and you were her first bf, ok, but a mid twenty woman? FFS, those are the ones that leave you pregnant for the slightest shit and then hook up with another guy while you pay their flat. You're good OP.
Oliver Nelson
She was single because, according to her, she got cheated on, and her last relationship wasn't really a relationship, more like a "move in together, kind of like friends", not erotically involved in any way
She didn't seem like a spoiled cunt nor like a selfish bitch.
Tyler Garcia
then she's toplevel insecure. those aren't a picknick either.
Camden Ramirez
So you honestly believe I made the right choice?
Nathaniel Hernandez
Man you're right. I unfortunately didn't. I kid you fucking not mine will straight leave me if i don't see her everyday (she has before)
Jose Baker
Everybody in this thread does dude. Seriously, if she can't handle you having a JOB thats a serious problem. She obviously doesnt get it if her parents were paying for her apartment. Also, SHE THREATED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU IF YOU DIDNT MOVE IN WITH HER. Thats the BIGGEST red flag I have ever seen. I've never been in the situation, but if I wasn't ready, and she didnt respect that, then she only cares about what she wants.
Christopher Murphy
there was never a right answer. It sounded like she wanted to be done with the relationship and this was just her get out of jail free care. Im sorry Sup Forumsro.
Adam Smith
I know it's a red flag, and I've said to myself never to fall for it. But I just feel like I'll never find a person that will be good enough. I guess I'm being moronic.
Daniel Morris
Sounds like she just doesn't have any real relationship experience. My wife is like that. Last week, she said that she "felt tricked" because of the impressions she got during our first month of dating. She had no idea the entire first month of dating is generally based on lies and deception. She had no idea that was normal. She didn't even realize that she, herself, mislead the hell out of me during that first month until I gave her examples (like her supposedly enjoying gaming).
The question is do you want to be the one to teach her? I wouldn't. Because it probably won't work. It takes dramatic experiences to teach people what relationships are about, and it doesn't sound like she's had any, so you're starting from the scratch. The possibility of success is very low. You'll most likely end up single and extremely pissed off at the end of it.
Justin Jenkins
Mine threatened to break up with me if we didn't move in. But its been two years. I just don't want to live with her. Unreasonable?
Kevin Clark
I can see your point. She misled me in a way too I guess, only over a course of 4-5 months. It was the 6th month that was problematic. For example, we used to do the housework together at my house since she was living with, and I did it out of courtesy and because it's my house, but after a point she basically was angry at me cause I "wouldn't do any housework". In our first months of dating she mentioned and kept " reminding" me that she didn't want her man to do any housework, and that it was her duty to keep the house clean, provided I had actual work to do and not slacking off. She was being angry at me during times I had projects to finish for work, and like the idiot I am, I sacrificed work time to make peace with her, resulting in her sleeping like a baby while I worked until 10am.
Luis Cruz
>supposed enjoying gaming.
What an elaborate ruse this is. You never NEVER want your woman to enjoy gaming. Gaming is your passtime. What you want is for her to be cool with the time and joy you get from it. Once your woman is gaming with you, you lose all freedom in that realm.
Dylan Bailey
I don't think it's unreasonable. If you're not ready, you're not ready. But if you just feel like passing your time with her, and she's thinking of a more serious relationship in contrast to what you want, maybe it's better to break it off.
Dylan Perez
Sounds spoiled. "Her way or the highway" talking is generally a huge red flag.
Gabriel Brooks
I think if it's just MMO games or similar, it's ok, but never play competitively with your gf
Elijah Thomas
Sounds like she either has no idea what she wants or she's finally letting down her hair now that she feels like she has you and won't lose you for being herself.
James Gomez
Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just so hard though. I have more memories from those past six months than I ever did with all of my bigger relationships. And most of them are good memories too. Her smile, her voice, fuck.
Anthony James
Sometimes I want to. But she's the most tolerable girl I've met so far and she's financially low maintenance. But the thought of living with her make me feel suicidal. I think I'm just going to wait for her to break up with me.
Josiah Young
That's the point. She's probably insecure. Figures you wouldn't like the real her, gets comfortable over time, and suddenly (to you) you have all this crazy dumped at your feet as if it's still the same. She use guilt as a motivator before?
Landon Reyes
What do you mean?
Chase Murphy
Like "I just feel like you don't care about me" or "I feel like I'm the only one trying" or stuff like that?
Josiah Gonzalez
She said those things in a way. Can't remember the exact wording she used though.
Carter Ward
She's insecure. Shit like that is her asking for validation. When you disagreed with that shit, did she believe you or did she hold out while you tried to convince her?
Christopher James
Definitely holding out or trying to pack her things and leave while I tried to keep her and talk.
David Gutierrez
Potential Borderline. Fits a few of the symptoms.
Good luck, user. I haven't had much there.
Julian Ortiz
I appreciate your input. I just wish our relationship could go back to how it was 2 months ago.
Nathaniel Wilson
No problem, user.
Sincerely wish you luck.
William Hernandez
You don't need that kind of psycho, unstable bitch in your life. She's paranoid probably because she was screwing around on you or at least thinking about it. Either that or she's not over whatever happened between her and a previous relationship where she was cheated on. Either way, you dodged a huge bullet. Just do you.
Don't even try to contact her. If she comes to her senses, she WILL contact you. But DO NOT wait for it. Live your life. If she checks up on you and sees you're doing well for yourself, and not staying hung up on her, she'll want you back even more. I cannot emphasize this enough: DO NOT CONTACT HER. Let her come to you. Be disinterested. Focus on yourself.
The rest will sort itself out, with or without her. And you'll be better for it.
Jayden Rivera
Not once in your story did i ever get a hint that she was committed to your feelings whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised that she was basically using you as means to convince herself that "look im grown up to mommy and daddy"
Owen Sanders
She was very supportive usually, like I mentioned earlier, concerning many things. She DID help me when I needed it, and whenever I felt bad she would always try her best to cheer me up. If I had just had a fight with my family, she'd be there. That's why it's hard for me to believe she is so selfish.
John Rogers
Thats becasue she was manipulating you...do you not see this as youre typing the words or...
Jose Hill
Man you should be feeling GREAT right now. You're FREE! Now you can find a real bitch who isn't a conceited, insecure psychopath. :D You need to be more confident. Fuck that bitch. Not literally.
Jayden Nelson
This!
Sounds a lot like it to me!
1. Her Controlling Which is her insecurity (moving in Same shit)
2. That she made you feel as if she was your one Shot at happiness, is actually emotional Mirroring, which Borderliners do in Order to Emulate These Same Emotions which they are usually incapable of feeling ( and to Manipulate into Control)
3. Her giving you Shit for the Housework (is not a Must, but borderliners Tend to project their Self-Loathing Onto Others and critizing has the Nice side Affect of pushing her Ego, which sehe would constantly need as she is so insecure.)
My ex was a Borderliner, they all have some differences nur generally they are really insecure, manipulative and incapable of real love
Ryan Hughes
shes not looking to hard then
Cooper Morgan
Jesus Christ user. Capitalization is a right that you're abusing.
Granted, you know your Borderline, but what the fuck is THAT shit?
Connor Roberts
Shit, sorry for Grammar, fucking German Spellcheck
Jaxson Myers
When the fuck did Sup Forums turn into Oprah for dudes?
Jack Gomez
I'm trying... I might be just an idiot, but she always seemed so honest. For example, I know she didn't cheat on me like another user suggested, because for the biggest part of the past six months we were always together. She cooked for me, she let me have my personal space and time, she was very compliant in bed. She was basically a dream come true. And now suddenly, "she can't be there for someone who's not there for her" and that "she can't suppress herself so I can be happy". Her words.
Dylan Brown
Gaypad with German Spellcheck :/
Logan Johnson
Do you want me to hug you and stick my dick up your ass?
Liam Adams
Why would I want that?
Anthony Powell
>Her words. Here's your response. "Ok. I sincerely hope you find someone who makes you happy without you having to put a face on first." Then turn 360° and walk the fuck out.
Aaron Reed
Ok. That explains it. I'd suggest trying to spellcheck the language you're writing. I know how much of a bitch that is.
Dominic Myers
Turn 360°? How odd. I bet that would really confuse her, but then how do you then walk out with her standing in the way?
Bentley Jenkins
...
Isaiah Robinson
hello friend you seem to be new
Nolan Flores
Well, ist the exact Same thing which Happend with my Ex. She Started a retarded Conflict (similar to your Situation) an used it as a way to justify that i wasn't taking care of her emotional needs. Its a Common Scheme, Borderliners have Black and white thinking, Something is either good or Bad, never inbetween. Due to the Origin of The BPD (borderline Personality disorder) which is a unloving relationship Between the Mother and the Infant which Makes her insecure, she will project the relationship on her Partner. The Partner will Then at some Point be scrutinized ( When he has done enough wrong, and she Feels mistreated). In Most cases, this will ultimately Happen because it is a way for her to Prove to Herself that she is worthless ( essentially it is repeating the Child-like disturbed relationship with her mother over and over again)
William Williams
>being this new
Mason Hernandez
WHOOSH!
Wyatt Wood
Good job if you stayed with her she would use the "then maybe we should break up" threat everytime she wants something from you