Soup Sup Forums

soup Sup Forums
>have gf of 6 months
>both in our mid twenties, she is 3 years older than me
>really hitting it off, like we are meant for each other since the beginning
>no problems until I have to go back to my hometown for a few days to help with my father's work
>small-time arguing and solving it within the hour
>finally come to hometown
>have to work constantly, my line of work dictates that basically, my full attention has to be there, nowhere else
>she starts complaining after the first two days that I'm ignoring her
>explain to her what I do, very detailed explanation
>doesn't believe anything, says I'm ignoring her because instead of working I'm out having fun/cheating
>show her proof of my work
>doesn't believe me
>youeitherfixyourshitorweredone.webm.bak
>tells me if *I* can't find a solution, then this is it
>tell her this isn't just my problem, we have to solve this together
>repeats what she said
>say alright then, I guess we're done
>feel like shit

Did I do wrong Sup Forums? Was it only my responsibility to ignore my work and pay attention to her? Am I really that much of an asshole? Keep in mind, I'm working about 12-15 hours a day, and have to do so for another week.

pic not related

the bitch deserved it, you probably do a good job, no worries user

I feel sorry for you. You did what you had to and you were 100% right. She did not understand cause probabile she did not want to understand at all

she probably was making excuses and just wanted to break up and thats why she wouldnt except the proof

accept* i mean

forgot to mention
>she starts making plans for us moving in together because she is "at an age where she has to think about her life"
>was looking for a job at the time
>tell her we've only been together for 6 months, I can't be sure about something like that, even if we are great together (been living for like 4 months at my apartment, hers was being paid by her parents)
>basically starts telling me, again, that we can't be together if we don't move in together (or at least our relationship will change to the point where we won't be able to be together anymore)
>try to calm her down and explain that it's kind of too soon, and I don't feel 100% into this plan
>keeps arguing about it
>tell her we'll talk about it after I come back from my hometown

sad bump

>Doesn't understand that work takes time out of your day
>Parents paid for her apartment
>Mid twenties

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, my friend.
I wouldn't feel bad about this were I you.

she actually was looking for a job, she just hasn't had one in a year

I don't blame you for feeling like shit. That fucking blows. But to be honest, if she didnt beleive that, your probably better off. What elese would she accuse you of in the future you know? That sucks anaon, but your probably better off with somebody who actually trusts you.

Yea man. She sounds like a manipulative child. Your WAAAAAY better off. Don't worry.

Like other anons pointed out, you probably dodged a bullet there, fampai.

Good on ya big boy.

Thanks guys. But for some reason, it feels like I lost the one chance I had at actually having a person I could trust and have a good life with. It seemed like we both wanted the same things, that we could, at least emotionally, support each other and push each other's limits in a good way.

Definitely dodged a bullet
I was gonna suggest you try and patch things up when you get back but steer clear
She sounds like the sort to lie about birth-control to nail you down

Don't even go back for breakup sex unless you've had a vasectomy

My problem with what your post concerns is that, she always seemed down to earth and trustworthy. She wasn't a bitch of any sort, she was supportive usually, she let me have my personal time when I needed it, everything. She seemed perfect in every way.

forgot a pic

Wanting to move in together after 6 months reeks of insecurity. That she couldn't respect your obvious hesitance to the issue makes it much worse
6 months isn't much of a sacrifice if it will leave you sorted for life. Her game plan sounds like it was to get you trapped.
So if you won't show your devotion by moving in, she'll probably trap you with a kid
If she's ready to move in, she' considered marriage and a family, remember

There's a reason someone her age was single when you met her
>was she a spoilt cunt and expects her own way all of the time?
>was it she's a complete selfish bitch
>was she single because if you don't do everything that selfish bitch wants
She threatens to end every relationship.
You dodged a bullet user you hardly know the bitch 6 fucking months?

Not getting attention for 2 weeks and the relationship is gone? topkek. You dodged a crazy nut bullet here OP. If she was 17 and you were her first bf, ok, but a mid twenty woman? FFS, those are the ones that leave you pregnant for the slightest shit and then hook up with another guy while you pay their flat. You're good OP.

She was single because, according to her, she got cheated on, and her last relationship wasn't really a relationship, more like a "move in together, kind of like friends", not erotically involved in any way

She didn't seem like a spoiled cunt nor like a selfish bitch.

then she's toplevel insecure. those aren't a picknick either.

So you honestly believe I made the right choice?

Man you're right. I unfortunately didn't. I kid you fucking not mine will straight leave me if i don't see her everyday (she has before)

Everybody in this thread does dude. Seriously, if she can't handle you having a JOB thats a serious problem. She obviously doesnt get it if her parents were paying for her apartment. Also, SHE THREATED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU IF YOU DIDNT MOVE IN WITH HER. Thats the BIGGEST red flag I have ever seen. I've never been in the situation, but if I wasn't ready, and she didnt respect that, then she only cares about what she wants.

there was never a right answer. It sounded like she wanted to be done with the relationship and this was just her get out of jail free care. Im sorry Sup Forumsro.

I know it's a red flag, and I've said to myself never to fall for it. But I just feel like I'll never find a person that will be good enough. I guess I'm being moronic.

Sounds like she just doesn't have any real relationship experience. My wife is like that. Last week, she said that she "felt tricked" because of the impressions she got during our first month of dating. She had no idea the entire first month of dating is generally based on lies and deception. She had no idea that was normal. She didn't even realize that she, herself, mislead the hell out of me during that first month until I gave her examples (like her supposedly enjoying gaming).

The question is do you want to be the one to teach her? I wouldn't. Because it probably won't work. It takes dramatic experiences to teach people what relationships are about, and it doesn't sound like she's had any, so you're starting from the scratch. The possibility of success is very low. You'll most likely end up single and extremely pissed off at the end of it.

Mine threatened to break up with me if we didn't move in. But its been two years. I just don't want to live with her. Unreasonable?

I can see your point. She misled me in a way too I guess, only over a course of 4-5 months. It was the 6th month that was problematic. For example, we used to do the housework together at my house since she was living with, and I did it out of courtesy and because it's my house, but after a point she basically was angry at me cause I "wouldn't do any housework". In our first months of dating she mentioned and kept " reminding" me that she didn't want her man to do any housework, and that it was her duty to keep the house clean, provided I had actual work to do and not slacking off. She was being angry at me during times I had projects to finish for work, and like the idiot I am, I sacrificed work time to make peace with her, resulting in her sleeping like a baby while I worked until 10am.

>supposed enjoying gaming.

What an elaborate ruse this is. You never NEVER want your woman to enjoy gaming. Gaming is your passtime. What you want is for her to be cool with the time and joy you get from it. Once your woman is gaming with you, you lose all freedom in that realm.

I don't think it's unreasonable. If you're not ready, you're not ready. But if you just feel like passing your time with her, and she's thinking of a more serious relationship in contrast to what you want, maybe it's better to break it off.

Sounds spoiled. "Her way or the highway" talking is generally a huge red flag.

I think if it's just MMO games or similar, it's ok, but never play competitively with your gf

Sounds like she either has no idea what she wants or she's finally letting down her hair now that she feels like she has you and won't lose you for being herself.

Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just so hard though. I have more memories from those past six months than I ever did with all of my bigger relationships. And most of them are good memories too. Her smile, her voice, fuck.

Sometimes I want to. But she's the most tolerable girl I've met so far and she's financially low maintenance. But the thought of living with her make me feel suicidal. I think I'm just going to wait for her to break up with me.

That's the point. She's probably insecure. Figures you wouldn't like the real her, gets comfortable over time, and suddenly (to you) you have all this crazy dumped at your feet as if it's still the same. She use guilt as a motivator before?

What do you mean?

Like "I just feel like you don't care about me" or "I feel like I'm the only one trying" or stuff like that?

She said those things in a way. Can't remember the exact wording she used though.

She's insecure. Shit like that is her asking for validation. When you disagreed with that shit, did she believe you or did she hold out while you tried to convince her?

Definitely holding out or trying to pack her things and leave while I tried to keep her and talk.

Potential Borderline. Fits a few of the symptoms.

Good luck, user. I haven't had much there.

I appreciate your input. I just wish our relationship could go back to how it was 2 months ago.

No problem, user.

Sincerely wish you luck.

You don't need that kind of psycho, unstable bitch in your life. She's paranoid probably because she was screwing around on you or at least thinking about it. Either that or she's not over whatever happened between her and a previous relationship where she was cheated on. Either way, you dodged a huge bullet. Just do you.

Don't even try to contact her. If she comes to her senses, she WILL contact you. But DO NOT wait for it. Live your life. If she checks up on you and sees you're doing well for yourself, and not staying hung up on her, she'll want you back even more. I cannot emphasize this enough: DO NOT CONTACT HER. Let her come to you. Be disinterested. Focus on yourself.

The rest will sort itself out, with or without her. And you'll be better for it.

Not once in your story did i ever get a hint that she was committed to your feelings whatsoever.
I wouldn't be surprised that she was basically using you as means to convince herself that "look im grown up to mommy and daddy"

She was very supportive usually, like I mentioned earlier, concerning many things. She DID help me when I needed it, and whenever I felt bad she would always try her best to cheer me up. If I had just had a fight with my family, she'd be there. That's why it's hard for me to believe she is so selfish.

Thats becasue she was manipulating you...do you not see this as youre typing the words or...

Man you should be feeling GREAT right now. You're FREE! Now you can find a real bitch who isn't a conceited, insecure psychopath. :D You need to be more confident. Fuck that bitch. Not literally.

This!

Sounds a lot like it to me!

1. Her Controlling Which is her insecurity (moving in Same shit)

2. That she made you feel as if she was your one Shot at happiness, is actually emotional Mirroring, which Borderliners do in Order to Emulate These Same Emotions which they are usually incapable of feeling ( and to Manipulate into Control)

3. Her giving you Shit for the Housework (is not a Must, but borderliners Tend to project their Self-Loathing Onto Others and critizing has the Nice side Affect of pushing her Ego, which sehe would constantly need as she is so insecure.)

My ex was a Borderliner, they all have some differences nur generally they are really insecure, manipulative and incapable of real love

shes not looking to hard then

Jesus Christ user. Capitalization is a right that you're abusing.

Granted, you know your Borderline, but what the fuck is THAT shit?

Shit, sorry for Grammar, fucking German Spellcheck

When the fuck did Sup Forums turn into Oprah for dudes?

I'm trying... I might be just an idiot, but she always seemed so honest. For example, I know she didn't cheat on me like another user suggested, because for the biggest part of the past six months we were always together. She cooked for me, she let me have my personal space and time, she was very compliant in bed. She was basically a dream come true. And now suddenly, "she can't be there for someone who's not there for her" and that "she can't suppress herself so I can be happy". Her words.

Gaypad with German Spellcheck :/

Do you want me to hug you and stick my dick up your ass?

Why would I want that?

>Her words.
Here's your response. "Ok. I sincerely hope you find someone who makes you happy without you having to put a face on first."
Then turn 360° and walk the fuck out.

Ok. That explains it. I'd suggest trying to spellcheck the language you're writing. I know how much of a bitch that is.

Turn 360°? How odd. I bet that would really confuse her, but then how do you then walk out with her standing in the way?

...

hello friend
you seem to be new

Well, ist the exact Same thing which Happend with my Ex. She Started a retarded Conflict (similar to your Situation) an used it as a way to justify that i wasn't taking care of her emotional needs. Its a Common Scheme, Borderliners have Black and white thinking, Something is either good or Bad, never inbetween. Due to the Origin of The BPD (borderline Personality disorder) which is a unloving relationship Between the Mother and the Infant which Makes her insecure, she will project the relationship on her Partner. The Partner will Then at some Point be scrutinized ( When he has done enough wrong, and she Feels mistreated). In Most cases, this will ultimately Happen because it is a way for her to Prove to Herself that she is worthless ( essentially it is repeating the Child-like disturbed relationship with her mother over and over again)

>being this new

WHOOSH!

Good job if you stayed with her she would use the "then maybe we should break up" threat everytime she wants something from you

What do you do, and how far away is it?