Hey Sup Forums I'm getting a cat tomorrow, got any advice?

Hey Sup Forums I'm getting a cat tomorrow, got any advice?

Don't feed it glass

Buy a sticky roll because ur clothes will be covered in cat fur. It will be a pain in the ass but you'll get used to it.

Spank it. They love it for some reason.

get a camera

The bones go on the inside. If it comes already assembled, you don't really need to know this.

Start with your pinky, then add other fingers. It'll be ready for full penetration within the week. Enjoy.

Instead of, or as well s?

get ready to clean a gross ass nigger box

enjoy

Use the cat touch test to confirm the cat is compatible with other cats. Basically pick up the cat you want and hold it pressed to another cat. If it's chill it's a chill cat.

Remove fur with boiling water and then marinate for 2 days with some sort of acidic liquid, like vinegar or lemon. Cat is much leaner and tougher then other meats, it needs time to break down some of the tissue. Use chicken or pork recipes when preparing cat.

Get a fun cat

>not having an outside cat

Call the local Chinese restaurant for more tips and tricks

Dont get a cat, and get a real pet.

Keep The Litter box Clean daily (At least)
Don't feed it tuna except maybe once a week at most.
Some really love raw eggs (break the shell faggot)
If male, it probably won't spray if you let him out when he wants out.
Sometimes t he y roam for a couple days while out. Don't panic.

When content they sometimes knead their claws into you or whatever they're sitting on. If it you, just bear it. It's a thing they never grew out of from nursing.

If your petting it and it suddenly does a claw grab & bite on you, don't struggle. It'll sting but they won't shred you, it's just a warning that you're starting to annoy them and should chill out whatever you were doing. They Will Let Go without bloodshed.

Attend anger management before attempting to bathe.

They're not stupid, they just don't crave your affection enough to learn your tricks.

Never let them eat from your plate, even if you're looking finished eating.
You'll never eat again in peace if you do.

Don't try to force it to do anything, it will resent you.

Yes, it's normal for them to chase invisible things.

Enjoy your fluffy psycho.

depends on whether or not you love your cat. if you dont, then outside cat and let it get run over, killed by a dog, or its ass kicked by another cat, if you do love it....then scoop that nigger box and keep it inside

>the year of our lord 1999 and 17 more
>reading false negatives like this because you're still hot swapping cats
>mfw

Had two outside cats for 10 years, they kick the shit out of everyone because they work together

Just don't. They scratch everything, piss everywhere, vomit hairballs, and have terrible temperaments.

Feed it food from your plate

Hold it a lot

Don't squish it when you roll over in your sleep

rub their genitals lightly as a way to show them that you love them

OP here, it's a girl cat, what can i do to stop it getting raped by the boy cats?

rape it first. that way the other cats know its damaged goods and they wont want it

On a serious note:

If it's female it will become annoyingly affectionate when in heat. Get her fixed or let her out for some cat dickin. Give the kittens to your unsuspecting friends and family.

>Give the kittens to your unsuspecting friends and family.

on a serious note

Don't buy a cat.

get a dog cats are ungrateful creatures

this is true

Don't blow your money on cat toys. These little fuckers will feign interest for about 30 seconds and then never touch it again.

Do keep your shoe boxes and any other boxes. They will always attempt to make themselves fit into a box no matter the size. Straws and paper balls are also objects of high interest.

Don't beat it to death.

OP here, we had a dog growing up, but it would just hump all the pillows, we'd come back from school and the sofa would be a mess..

Get a cat dogs are fucking dumb and can't think at all

>Spank it.
WTF?

This will be my first cat, but i'll keep this cat magnetism in mind for the future

Thanks for the cheat list :)

Thanks for the tip!

...

This

Also paper bags

...

Need I say more

Get a laser

cats are surprising resilient and they develop Stockholm syndrome it seems

Cats are faggots?

OP here, so no matter if i'm a good owner or not, they will 'learn' to love me?

I guess, animals just have small easy minds which makes it easier for YOU as a person to 'direct' them to like you. The cat I own and whom I got at as a kitten is a great partner to have around in the house but at the start when he was a kitten pissing in random spots etc, being a cunt. A couple of smacks and scruffs here and there and all good with behavior for him now. I guess just show you are big cat if you have any problems and you won't have problems. Other than that they're just cuddly and want attention and food all the time.

Think like a cat and the cat will understand.