ITT: SHARE YOUR SECRETS

ITT: SHARE YOUR SECRETS

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youtube.com/watch?v=RxKiiBAcJkc
youtube.com/watch?v=gHBHrIbqze0
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

or dont

silk boxers reporting in here
new nanny job starts in two weeks, three girls and a single mother. Nothing new to report on current gig

cool story

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME

you must not be the sharpest tool in the shed

story mate?

A future me told me in the past that once I build the time machine I'm working on, I have to go to the past to help Hitler with the death camps and to fake his death.

Two of my exes killed themselves, and you guys won't be able to guess who caused it. The deaths were unrelated btw, I'm just that shitty of a person (then again they were both fucking insane).

I'm planning to get AIDS and fuck a lot of bitches just to see how many people can I take to the grave with me.

the jews did everything wrong ever

-Sup Forums

duh

I Own a Meme Page

im working as a nanny while I study, a couple of months ago stayed with a single mom babysitting her two daughters while she worked overnight
baited the older one into playing with my dick, ended up sucking me and trying to take it in the ass, been on a new job for the last two weeks with nothing doing, in two weeks going to a rural property to nanny three girls

Fucked my bestfriends mom when i was 16. she was 40 at the time..

what's the revenue

noice 10 points bro

> be 16 year old virgin
> go to Bros house every day
> mom always makes eyes at me but ignore it
> finally old enough to get my temps
> start drivers ed class, she happens to be my ride
> last day on our way to class
> asks me what i want as a reward for passing
> jokingly say a hooker
> ask what the hooker should look like
> casually describe her, minor differences
> go to class, cant stop fantasizing about MILF
> PASS, she picks me up
> on way home when she takes a wrong turn
> brings up how hooker sounds like her
> agree, she cautiously pokes around the bush
> I openly say im ready to do something
> finds empty parking lot
> start making out, first time mind you
> eventually get my dick out and casually moves her hand on it
> starts jerking me off
> ask to go all the way
> she pulls out condom, slides it on
> Shit feels good man
> gets on top, rides me for like 15 seconds
> No longer a virgin fag
> 20 now, still see her occasionally
> Never bring it up, but we both remember

>the
.50 every meme posted there I lost my house my wife my dog

That's deep

been wetting the bed on and off for about a month, not sure whats up.

I browse 9GAG daily


and enjoy it

would you meme again if you could

reported to fbi

>03
12/10 Would meme again

When i'm cooking i like to pretend i have my own cooking show.

>be 10
>house was trap
>drugs come in drugs come out
>trying to do good in school
>there was a guy who would always come over named Mark
>had the hots for Mark
>he was 22
>birthday rolls in, am 11
>started smoking pot with the family
>was stealing pot from brothers
>would smoke it with mom and give the rest of the stash to her
>one day she asks me, "do you have a crush on anyone"
>shit.jpg
>Sup Forumsros i dont lie
>tell her its Mark
>mom asks if we did anything
>my child brain goes ape shit and starts telling her Mark and i had sex
>mom says its rape
>noitsnot
>yesitis
>fastforward a week in, mom tries to hide it from the family, even though none of it is true
>brother was actually on vacation with Mark, maybe they were gay
>brother and Mark come back
cont?

lmao fuck ur family

I can suck my own dick

cont

k cool
>anyway brother and Mark are back
>mom tells brother about the lie that I told her
>brother goes downstairs and punches a couple holes in the wall
>am frizzled
>fast forward two days
>Mark came over, knew none of what has happened
>Mark had this extremely good weed
>gave a bud to my mom
>she stuffed it in her mouth and wouldn't give it back to him
>momwatrudoin
>Mark is all pissed cause she put a big ass nug in her mouth
>Mark says fuck it and leaves
>the next day
>Mark comes over and apologizes to mom cause its not his house and hes a dealer so he doesnt care
>wheresthelogic
>anyway, Mark goes downstairs
>doesn't know what hit him, literally
>as soon as he comes downstairs my brother beats his face in, for "raping" me
>Mark is all fucked up in the face, doesn't look like sexy Mark anymore
>am scared
>Mark leaves and threatens to blow up the house
>other brother comes home and finds out what happened
>other brother leaves on a drunken rampage cause he just came back from a party
cont?

i come to Sup Forums and make shit up for the lulz.

Cont

>she stuffed it in her mouth and wouldn't give it back to him

does your mother by any chance miss a few teeth

one of the top 5 reasons (forsure 1st reason) i get on Sup Forums is to see if i can find my girlfriend on here you know? like nudes that she sent others behind my back gifs. or even webm. We have broken up often and shes talked to others forsure so i never know....

>i get on Sup Forums to see if i can find my girlfriend on here you know?

nice
>so, my other brother was all drunk n shit and mom told him everything that happened
>other brother leaves the house
>by this time Mark had went home
>other brother walked 4 miles all the way from our house to Marks to beat this guys ass
>Mark was about to get beat a second time
>butwhy
>other brother storms into their house and starts breaking all of their shit, the TV, kitchen appliances, everything
>other brother finds Mark and gives him a second beating
>nobody can stop the drunk blanco pollo loco
>Mark's brother had to pull other brother off Mark to save his life
>other brother eventually comes home with little scratches from Mark's mom's manicure
>long story short, i lied about Mark having sex with me and he got his ass beat twice, got his pot stolen, and now has a bad reputation for having sex with a child
>even though nothing happened
>and everybody still believes me
>and i'm now 19 years old
>fast forward a months later; found out someone had blew up Mark's car with a molotov because he "raped" me
>fast forward a few years later, Mark is now taking therapy and is on drugs; supposedly he believes he actually raped me
>tfw no regrets
>tfw this is completely true

well aren't you a little shit

come clean faggot

...

i actually have tried, i brought it up to my mom and she said theres no way because so much had happened because of the whole "incident"

wow, youre sick.

I just recently had gay sex with a southern Baptist preacher who is vehemently outspoken agaisnt homosexuality while wearing his wife's clothes in the church bathroom. It was the most pleasurable thing I've ever felt

have been molesting my sister in her sleep for the past week. i have stopped my self from molesting her because i feel guilty

Are you outta your mind?
Fuck her like crazy
You only live once faggot

lmfao your right user. but i think ima still take it slow just molesting again! the age difference is only by 3-4 years. shes 14 im about to turn 18

I am a police officer and I racially profile dindus because they are dindus

Thanks mr police officer
Mr Superman

Once went to a friend's house.
His mom told me he wasn't in.
I told her I had a Magic: The Gathering match at 2; needed my Delusions of Mediocrity.
She reiterated he wasn't home.
Lost it.
Beat the brakes off her in front of his kid brother.
Checked his bedroom, found nothing.
Beat her stupid again on the floor of the livingroom.
Checked the kitchen; no MTG cards in the fridge.
Dropped a 5th Ward B on her again and giggled at Ren & Stimpy.
Checked walk-in closet; nothing.
Slapped a mom; checked her purse.
???
"Bitch, don't ever lie to me again."
I placed third that afternoon.
Got my card, though.

bmp

Why don't you fuck her again?

lmao kill yourself you privileged cock

I'm married but i want to fuck one of my coworkers badly. I know she's a little freak too and she's married but it doesn't seem like her husband is at her level.

My stepsister is pregnant with my child but she has this other guy convinced that it's his child. He's rich so I'm OK with it.

Holy shit, I no longer feel guilty for anything.

Thanks!

Can we get a story on that fucking video?? What the fuck?

Nvm, found it.

youtube.com/watch?v=RxKiiBAcJkc

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.

im fuck buddies with my friend's gf's 13yo sister

I'm 90% sure Jessica Alba gave me herpes.

You're a tool alright

So Im fucking this annoying beta guy. He is super insecure, mentally unstable, and has a crush on me. I threat him shitty but he just seems to like me more because of it. I know I should just leave but the sex is amazing, really dirty and he lets me do anything to him.

You sound like an insufferable cunt

Well I am one.

Took a huge risk to secretly record my roommate in her bathroom showering before she moved out

good job statham

I still wear tighty whities because I prefer them over boxers and boxer briefs and have a wedgie fetish but when I'm at work, I do get self conscious a little even though no one can see my underwear

When was the last time you cheated on a boyfriend?

when i was 16 i took the v of my sister's 11yo best friend

did she have fun?

I get payed by certain bitches to cum on pictures of them. They found me via Leddit.

I fantasize about fucking my sisters. I fap to them both all the time and cum so hard.

>Checked
But I assume you put a paper bag over the left one right?

I've been cumming on the same chair for months.
pic related.

I still feel like shit a lot of the time.

I kinda miss mootles

not initially, she was pretty nervous and it was kinda painful for her. so i gave her oral until she was more calm and aroused then she enjoyed it. I was gentle with her for the first 10 minutes then gradually fucked her harder. she was only about 4" deep so i had to be careful not to hit her cervix, i did a couple times though. her fav position was doggy/rear entry.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

forgot to mention we didnt use a condom, she wanted her 1st time to be natural

good work

I want a threesome with a work friend and my gf

is friend a girl?

bmp

my gf and I fantasize about raping kids together.
shit's seriously hot.

That's actually fucking adorable, dood.

I saw a dream about fucking my sister

You're the fucking worst piece of shit ever. I hope you have your arsehole split from shit to breakfast time. Kill yourself.

how old was older that time?

good job user

how old is she?

also she was probably awake but scared so pretending to sleep.

thanks, I do the best I can

I show pr0n to girls on Omegle. Sometimes unusual porn.

You really, whole heartedly, deserve to die. You scummy scummy human you.

I piss only in the sink, never in the toilet.

same here

bmpp

>I stole from one of my teachers in catholic school, then proceeded to lie about it when confronted

>I had gay sex with my cousin in the bathroom when I was 11 and repress it to this day

>because of said repressed memory I've developed an unhealthy sexual attraction to crossdressors, traps, etc

>Ever since the girl of my dreams was taken from me I've been struggling with depression and have struggled with substance abuse behind closed doors

>I'm plagued by the fear that I'll die alone

>Contemplated suicide more than once, never have had the courage to follow through (inb4 an hero faggot)

youtube.com/watch?v=gHBHrIbqze0

>Faggot does faggot things.

What a surprise.

>judging in a secret thread

I'm assuming you're here for the cp? or the trap threads

I cum on pictures of girls I know and post them online. Sometimes I even post the girl's name.

Pic related, she is Dezirey.