Tell me about the worst things you did drunk user

Tell me about the worst things you did drunk user

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I've got a list, but this is by no means exhaustive.

> spent 5 grand on hookers in one night
> put myself in hospital then ran off before they got to pump my stomach
> punched a female tramp in the face who was asleep on a church bench
> hung my hamster
> put someone in a coma
> called the police on myself pretending I was someone else so I'd get a taxi to the cell and bed for the night because couldn't go back to me gfs
> kicked every driver side wing mirror off every car in my street
> proposed my love for a work colleague then attempted to skip the country when she told me no (in the same night)
> hooked up with a transvestite then threw her out when she/he showed me it had a dick

There's loads more. I don't drink anymore. Drugs also played a huge part.

wet the bed.

Bump

Got cirrhosis of the liver.

>hung my hamster

Made a small slip knot in some headphone wires and gently put it round it's neck and then hung it. Hand reared that hamster too

I (19 years old) tried to rape my 16 year old sister. I got close, but never did. I'm grateful that she hasn't told anyone

maybe you should do the same to yourself

>at birthday party during high school
>start to drink alot
>drink until I start dancing around
>try to flirt with girls, basically just scream and high five them
>go behind the bar on my own, start mixing some shit up
>that's the last memory I have except for some blurry puking and drinking water
>pass out
>wake up in a hospital the next morning
>look around me
>fuck
>ask a guy if I can go home now
>a friend picks me up at the hospital
>check my phone
>apparently I called my crush several times at around 3 am
>arrive at home
>change clothes
>realize I've shit myself at some point during the night
>don't even want to know what other stuff I did during my blackout
>mfw

Thank god I don't see anyone from high school anymore

I tried, hence why I stopped drinking. I jumped off a fly over and but survived.

try again

the worst thing i've done while drunk was drink more.
When you run out of soda and you start drinking vodka because you're thirsty....things go downhill fast.
Alcohol poisoning, sick for about four days.

be hit by a train

Fap to my younger sister panties

Are you me?

how did that happen?

Took a shit in somebody's yard.

Have you learned your lesson yet?

>walk in front of train
>get hit by train

>be me
>drink like a lot and do all drugs available
>like for a decade of decadence (more than 13 years)
>destroy all kinds of shit
>do tons of blow and strippers
>keep gallon jug of water next to bed for dry mouth
>one night piss into empty jug because too paranoid to leave room
>wake up from the sleep of the damned super parched
>as a reflex grab jug full of piss

>> hung my hamster
this has nothing to do with being drunk, the other shit yes, but not this gratuitous act of cruelty

you're fucked in the head and should be locked away or dead you piece of shit

Fuck a fat ugly weeabo girl

Drugs might explain that.

But still, you're right, fuck that guy.

two days ago i was pretty drunk and i smoke a joint and pretend that i was future

you are future, user. its two days ago.

dont overreact you pussy

no the rapper

If I kill him am I destroying our future? Or is that a different guy?

>be drunk as fuck
>wanna take a shortcut across rails
>trying to pass between fence and cargo train
>cargo train start moving
>holyfuck.jpg
>get hit by train car
>fell down
>cargo train pass 30cm next to me

I was fine, but it was close one.

kick a stone and broke my feet
yep Im retarded tho'

>fucked my sleeping gf in the ass.
>she woke up mad
>choked her out and finished
>mfw

imgur-images110.com.br/YhfOuF.jpg

>be me
>last week
>order shot of jameson
>do shot
>immediately realize it's JW Red
>get another shot and confirm
>drive home hammered and disgusted

Ayyyyye lived to tell the tale, Don't fuck fat chicks.

like anyone gives a fuck

> be me
>have two roomates, my buddy, another friend with a gf who is there all the time
>basically she lives with us too, but is cool and contributes.
>both male roommates travel for work, gone a month or so, home two weeks, shit like that
>middle of a stretch where both are gone
>she comes home from work with a bottle of vodka
>we start drinking, just for the sake of drinking, it was like a wed night
>get hammered, browsing Sup Forums getting sill
>"we could take our shirts off" I say, jokingly
>she does
>I do
>rest of the story is obvious.

Spent the remainder of the evening fondling each other, oral, then finally sex. I felt really bad about it because the guy was a close friend of mine. As it happens though he does have a bit of a cuckold fetish but I don't believe they ever acted out on it.

To be fair, it was pretty hot sex. Idk just how casual she was about it. Had known her for a while so we were friends but she jumped right into it. I still fap to it once in a while.

But yeah. I fucked my friends gf. That was pretty shitty of me. There is more to this story, he did actually sorta imply he wouldn't mind me fucking her, cause he was out of town so much. This was before she and I actually had sex. I told him i'd maybe be down but IDK, I think the idea of it made her uncomfortable.

MORE!!!!!

Danced on the fountain in stormwind city and pretended I was more drunk than I actually was while spouting shitty memes in trade chat.

>Jameson
nice taste user

fuck i spit out my coffee when i read that user

Jameson feels like a secret that you're really upset you didn't know about earlier once you finally try it.

or just me who knows.

Slapped a girl's ass.

I'm usually very well behaved when I'm drunk, the worst I'll usually do is talk your ear off.

>be 20
>live in a small and peaceful city
>me and my friend cycle in a city park
>get drunk, but still able to cycle
>decide to cycle on the central road of the city
>my friend is ahead of me
>I turn around to check if someone is behind me
>smash into a guy's old shitty parked car
>pick up my bycicle and say sorry
>adrenaline pumping and I decide to dindu nuffin away asap
>fat guy gets out of the car
>accelerate while the guy is running after me
>turn right and see the road is in repair mode
>manage to get through all the fucked up road
>escape through the darkest areas in the city
>get home and my friend asks me where I was
>look at my leg and it's all bleeding and shit
>mfw

>stole a friend's car
>fucked a college classmate in said car
>didn't even get her name. Nice tits though.

How hardcore

Fell in love

I got nothing special, but when Im drunk I can piss off anyone, even the better of my friends can't stand me, it's like a superpower, I just start talking and doing bullshit and no one is safe.
They keep hangin with me anyway so its pretty nice to be that way, for the moment

also I get some pussy with this, not that much but enough for an ugly cunt like me

I know the phrase "kill yourself" is overused as fuck on this board, but please, do actually end your own life.

When I was 15 I got raped by my crush, a guy who was 20. I'm a guy.

Trust me, they won't put up with your stupid ass forever.

Either the time I chundered everywhere but the toilet at my mates house, the time I vommed down the wall from the top bunk of a hostel room, or the time I woke up with puke on my bed next to the pillow.

that is so autistic

>manhandled and molested a disgusting lesbian

>Chased cops on bike
>punched my gf
>puked in my parents bed

Fell into a wheely bin once. That's about it.

I went to a party with a buddy. Got super fucking drunk while eating those puffy cheetos. Blacked out woke back up kicked over a table then fell back down on good will clothes in the corner of the room and threw up all over them.

I burned down a house
Will I tell the full story?

Yes

Fukin better

Snorted half a bag of icing sugar

Went out clubbing after drinking most of the day
Meet a 10/10 girl things go fine
I had technics 1210's dj set up fucking sucked tho .show her pics on phone
>why don't you have a go user
Fuck it wait for my moment it comes jump on decks spill a full pint on mixer bang sparks fly .bouncers coming at me from all directions try to save my self by grabbing mic and shouting my love to girl I just met get shit kicked outa me wake up in hospital turn around girls by my side
Police on other side £4000 worth of damage to equipment.lost my front teeth girl takes a pic laughs at me
Post on fb
Apparently the club had to close sprinklers fire alarms and fire brigade came .
>totally worth it tho

>be me
>18
>come home from night out
>live with parrents
>forget family is staying over
>aunt sleeps in my room
>drunk as i am, go to my bed
>find her sleeping on my bed
>her crotch is out from the covers
>look for a sec
>pull it down
>finder her and rub my cock
>she wakes up and freaks the FUCK out
>family wakr up at 3 am
>everyone is awake
>runs to my room
>shes in the corner of my bed crying
>im still struggeling to pull my pants up
>now i have no family.
>and live alone

Got a few-
>Drunk as fuck back at my house after a downhill mountain bike session with mates. Long story short I jumped off the roof of my garage and put the bar end into my guts, woke up 2 days later in hospital.
>Drunk at a playground at stupid o'clock in the morning, puked down a slide and watched a mate's gf slide down it a few mins later.
>T-bagged a dude who fell asleep on the couch at a house party then fucked his gf on the floor next to him.
>Fingered my gf's friend with her alseep in the room.
>threw a bottle at my gf's car window after a fight, smashed it.
>puked in a dog bowl and watched the dog eat my puke
>rode my motocross bike through a park at the end of my street with only a pair of shorts on and came off.

There's probably more but that's all I can be fucked remembering right now

I tend to not remember what i do shit faced but most of the time
>take a couple drinks only meaning to have those
>feel good so have more against sober wishes
>walk around neighborhood dubstepping like fag
>once was stark neked infront of stepmom apparently
>sleep walk while shitfaced is the norm now
>call old friends cuz have no current and make a fool of myself
>pissed is bed multiple times cuz booze
>once thought i was trapped in coffin then once awake realized i kicked the shit out of the drywall in bathroom thinking i was trapped
Most of these happen because i no longer have pals to drink with and i refuse to drink around family then it turns into a problem.

I put my turtle in a vodka cup so he could get drunk as well

Do you mean you gave your turtle a shot or put him in a glass of vodka

just friday night i pushed my girl down and also puked on a friend lol

you are a disgusting human being

>hung my hamster
They have necks??

You win. Nobody tops that.

Hilarious

Water? Jesus soda is your go to for thirst quenching?

And then what happened?? Don't leave me hanging?? Like that guys hamster. Rip

So rape..

drank piss

Green text, homie.

....

OK I was 19 when I got drunk for the first time it was in the summer I was at a party with my friends
After the party was over I got into a taxi which I paid for so I get out of the car which was near my apartment so I walked to my apartment but I stopped at a store apparently I brought a can of spray paint and a bottle of beer after a while of walking I stopped at a house and spray painted some nazi symbols around a car and a wall of the house
I put some paper into the beer bottle and lit it
I got the paper for mynose because I was prone to nosebleeds
And I got the fire from a lighter because I was a smoker
I threw the beer bottle at the window of the house
Then I blacked out I woke up a bus stop near the apartment so I got up to my room in the apartment and I turn on the news and watched it for 3 hours and a story about a hate crime that left three people dead and they showed a house fire with some nazi symbols around it
So that how I burned down a house

Drunk texting

>Long story short, I got drunk and stole a small table and two chairs from someone's front patio

>Kek

Holy shit user

Retarded faggot.

nice

Well i need to see the online news article please link.

Cheated on my Sup Forumstard boyfriend...

>manhandled
it would be pretty weird if a man was able to womanhandle a woman dont you think so.

meaning: hope ur being sarcastic

I had no idea what the name of the news station name was and it was 20 years ago

This shit is fucking great, I dont give a flying fuck if its true
Nothing is true or false, u got stories
Now i got yours

thanks for sharing

This, came in them, then cut them up, burned the pieces and threw it away in s trash can the next street over.

Whiskey is a hell of a drug!

You sound like a nerd.

dunno if nerd, but user seems under 18

I have no idea if this true or not but this need to be screened caped

Worse thing Ive done when drunk is drink 10 shots of tequila
ended almost dead
also, i felt like being alone so i wasnt even with friends at the bar
so i got out and walked (i guess

woke up lying in the middle of a road, first thing is 'see' is the ugly faces of two policemen that came to the rescue

they took me to my house

Lmao, classic!

oh shit, bro. that was so dramatic and yet enlightning!

>Drink full bottle of Russian vodka, none of that cheap knockoff shit
>Hot box it in my mates car with him and another mate, 2 cones each
>On the drive back home, need to piss real bad
>Wind window down halfway
>Stand out the window and take a piss while car is going 100mph
>Mates have to pull over and drag me back into the car

HOLY SHIT user!
Screen cap this shit it is to good to be false