Anybody down for a feels thread? I could use the company

Anybody down for a feels thread? I could use the company.

...

Just looking for some company, or is something on your mind?

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

Both

Also
Feel free to share your woes guys

I hope everyone's hanging in there

I had a girlfriend once. That was fun.

>be 16, sophomore in high school
>fucking adorable girl with blue hair, 9/10 transfers in
>outofmyleague.jpg
>she always hangs out with these fucking chad types. their culture is so cringy
>become acquainted with her best friend
>she shares a couple classes with me
>have this one "girlfriend" but never got past second base really.
>entire relationship felt uncomfortable
>she constantly trying to keep me, but i don't know what to do
>put up with it for a few months like a beta
>go to my best friends 16th birthday party
>the blue haired girl is there, but her hair is now this beautiful red/brunette color
>her and some guys go back to her house and steal alcohol, bring it back to the party
>she starts drinking
>fuckinghammered.jpg
>she hangs off of me the entire party because she can't even walk
>stay with her because i dont want some chad to take advantage of her
>she falls asleep on me
>later friends message me saying she likes me
>kind of got the idea

cont?

Just got told by someone I was in love with for the past 3 months that she's "unsure if and when she will ever want a relationship" even though she led me on :(

go ahead user :)

I don't really have anything on my mind at the moment, so I'm more than willing to listen to you if you feel like you have something you want to share.

>Be me in mid-late twenties.
>Pretty stable life. Steady job and relationship.
>Madly in love for 7 years, and living together.
>Life picks up.
>Both work. She also goes to school part-time.
>Start feeling lonely.
>Haven't talked to her in weeks it seems.
>Figure just busy.

>Life goes on.
>Find a moment to finally spend time with her.
>Doesn't want to do anything.
>Becomes difficult to speak with her.
>She doesn't want to, or isn't around.
>Sleeps all the time it seems.

>Now been months.
>Nothing but small talk.
>Look for other outlets. People, friends-
>mfw I haven't been close with anyone but her.
>alone.jpg

>A FEW DAYS LATER
>Girl at work starts talking to me. (9/10)
>I'm management, so keep it professional.
>Stick to small talk, itching to share troubles.
>HR fraternization rules keep you safe anyway.
>Now lonely, can only small-talk.

>It has now been a year.
>mfw realize I haven't had sex in two years.
>GF still distant.
>Been checking for signs of disloyalty.
>Seemslegit.gif
>How is she not cheating? I don't understand!?
>Workgirl started dropping hints.
>She wants the D.
>Fighting every fiber not to cheat.
>Lust disguised as romance and sex.
>Now lonely, socially limited, and romantically crippled.

At least I have Sup Forums

go ahead man

Let it all out my fellow anons

Just because she feels like the only person in your life doesn't mean you are the only person in hers.

Felt unrequited love. Twice. In a year. I was willing to die for either of them, but they weren't even willing to give me enough respect not to talk shit about me behind my back.

Break things of before you cheat user but that's just my 2cents

>got to become really good friends with her
>shes into metal and gaming
>help her out with school since she's having trouble
>she helps me out with depression issues
>we find respect for eachother, and help each other out with our flaws and insecurities
>she wants to quit smoking
>agree to help out however I can.
>we connect more and more and start dating
>eventually lost my virginity to this girl
>life could not be better
>after about a year of being together, she brings up long term plans
>begin putting effort in school again
>really want to start a life with each other
>decide i want to devote my life to being with this girl
>summer break comes
>she goes to alabama because her parents are divorced
>chat almost every day over skype
>I'm noticeably happier
>stopped being an edgy shit
>repaired relationships with my brother and parents that sort of soured as I became a teen

continue?

Stop talking about your fellings real men push it down.

OP here. Sorry guys I forgot to post my story.

So
Me and my girlfriend of four years have been on a break for a few months now. In the beggining it was a mutual decision because she needed space from me with all the stress from her family/college she'd been dealing with and with the cosntant issue of me bothering her and accusing her of cheating or trying to find someone better. I don't know why I thought she would ever but I guess I started to feel she was getting tired of us and wanted to be on her own and enjoy her youth. We did fall in love young. Anyway the break ended up dragging out longer than I thought. We still would see eachother here and there and do dates but most of the time we weren't physically together while I had work and she was spending time with her friends and stuff. A few times I'd try to open up on how I'm feeling snd even asked what she wants of us. She told me flat out that she wants to work things out but isn't really sure what she wants. I called her out and bitched at her about a ton of stuff and opened up but we always just end up fighting and I make things worse. We fought a few days before our anniversary this time through text while she was on vacation with her family. This was last saturday now. On Wednesday I tried to call her but being that she was still on her trip my calls weren't going (my shitty plan doesn't cover log distance calls). So i texted her a long ass message wishing her happy four years and i hope she was enjoying her trip. We havent really spoken to eachother too much since. Last night she said shell talk to me when she gets the chance.

About an hour ago she said that she agrees that we talk in person about us. In a few days. I'm so anxious about it cause idk what's going to be said. It probably won't be positive.

Can anyone say they've been in my shoes?

I got 15 to 20 mins left before I have to go to sleep for work but I'm here until then

Continue

Pushing down feelings leads to suicide in my opinion so let it all out

Please, sir. Make me cry.

Don't mind me just lurking.

Thank you guys. OP here I just posted this

Also I'm here for you guys aswell.

What does unrequited love feel like?

Imagine pissing out a whole watermelon while drowning in elephant shit.

>I'm in your shoes now 2yr relationship I'm in a perpetual state of accusing my girlfriend of cheating and I'm always telling her to find better. We had a rough start on our relationship I found texts she hid in here phone in a hidden file claiming it was just a guy friend but overall the trust I did have is slowly going away almost non existent I'm tired of worrying about this and that what keeps me going is our child

Listening

I want to be hanging by neck. is that close enough?

>ever since i was a kid people acted like I am the class clown
>never thought much of it really, just always acting like nothing matters, never thinking of important matters in depth
>it made me look like the cool guy in school, and it encouraged me to keep acting like this
>even had some false rumors about me smoking weed with a girl at school
>used to be very popular with girls since I have a baby face and because I hang out with girls all the time
>then my parents broke up, dad moved, I changed school 3-4times
>mother jumped from guy to guy, father never got any other girlfriend
>never thought much of it back then, but my mind was starting to get fucked up
>I now realize that I never actually cared about anything that is important in my life
>I now realize that my father probably felt guilty, he saw the difference it did to me, and I didn't
>I just recently realized about all this
>I use to keep acting like nothing mattered to me, as if I had no emotions, telling myself I'm having a punk ideology, which is normal
>actually still had a pretty decent kid life, even tough it was senseless
>I went out with almost all the girls in primary school, even tough I wasn't trying to figure out what was happening
>In my mind girlfriends were trophies, to show the other guys I was desirable.
>I heard later the girls were just doing a competition to go out with the most guys
>I used to think everything was so easy, very good at school without studying, getting girls, there's really no reason to care about anything
>spent almost all of my nights playing hockey outside aimlessly, empty-minded
>started highshcool
>still the school clown but with bad acne now (not much red dots, more like black dots and oily skin)

OP: Sounds like I'm headed your way soon..
I'm We met when we were young. Stayed together since.. and probably had similar arguments. I suspected her of cheating and stresses of life/work/college

My only advice: should shit go negabomb.. don't let it eat you. Just leave yourself open to other adventures.

> be me
> live a middle class life
> beautiful wife, 2 awesome kids
> have stable income and good job security
> drive a nice car
> wife just made me pancakes for dinner

Pic unrelated

>knowing you will never find happiness

okay continuing. its downhill from here.
>she comes home from alabama a little bit before end of summer break
>has birthday party a few days later
>bought her patches and stuff because she wanted to make a battle vest, see pic related
>at the party she's acting a little strange
>more or less avoids me the entire time
>came up to her room where she was hanging out with a couple of people.
>notice one of the girls giving her cigarettes as a "birthday present"
>crushed because I thought I was helping her get over her addiction
>mention that I thought she was quitting
>she gives me a face and tells me to shut up
>thatsstrange.rar
>school starts
>at this point in time, we had been spending all of our free time together. I began to miss my alone time, but it was still well worth it.
>she becomes friends with a total hoe of a girl
>stops talking to her old best friend almost entirely
>she seems to be acting a little cold during our
time together
>one night she messages me over facebook
>"user, can i talk to you please?"

should i keep going?

cont.

>everyone was telling me it's ok, that it's gonna leave by itself when I grow up so I never cared about it and never done anything about it
>now I kind of feel bad that my friends and family never tried to help me with my acne problems, since now I still have acne and its harder to get rid of
>everybody was saying I'm doing drugs all the time but I wasn't
>everybody was saying i looked confused or high, looked down on me, laughed at me (just kidding tough)
>fuck it, I'll just do drugs then, since that’s what everybody expects me to do
>I really start getting confused about all my relationships, always high as fuck on strong weed
>I could have gone out with plenty of girls but I was too stupid and insecure to act
>used to jerk off with male friends so I'm a bit confused about my sexuality
>start feeling very unmanly, not virile at all but people are expecting me to act like the cool punk guy who doesn’t afraid of anything so I keep fulfilling my role
>started to feel depressed so I failed at school and had to start a year over, even tough I was pretty smart and in advanced class
>fuck that society shit I'm gonna do some hardcore drugs instead
>start tripping randomly with new friends for 2 years, leaving behind all my past friends
>got tired of the friends I was tripping with, so I left them behind too, finished high school and studied to become a welder
>when I started college, I understood it was way harder to fulfill my role with adults around. Was not fooling anyone.
>I felt like everyone knew I was not the tough guy I pretended to be.
>some false rumors again about me smoking weed before class made the professor despise me
>ended up not getting my diploma and feeling too depressed to finish it, still have to pay the huge debt tough

cont.

i start cosmetology school next week because i suck at everything else not where i wanted to be at 21 still live at home

...

I fall for people so easily because of my loneliness. I can't take being by myself anymore, I can't bear the thought of continuing on alone. Everyone I ever love leaves me, I've never maintained a relationship past the 2 months milestone and I don't know why. I adore my partners. I just want to be loved back just once, I want to mean something to someone

I am an absolute failure.

I live in a constant state of fear, and misery.
Do you miss me anymore?
I don't even notice when it hurts anymore,
anymore,
anymore,
anymore.

I just graduated this year, but all throughout Highschool I was a looser. Until sometime in grade 11 I never cared what other's thought. I had a few friends and I was happy enough. But in grade 11 I started to want to be popular, to be friends with the other kids, although I never did anything about it, I started to become embarrassed with my "nerd" friends. I went to school in a small town and there were only about 55 kids in my grade, the "cool" kids were the farm boys, and their friends and a bunch of girls. No one was every really bullied or excluded but there were certain friend groups. In grade 12 I started talking to the farm kids, they were mostly Swiss and I'm 3/4 German and I lived on a farm. So we had something in common. I basically spent the whole year talking to the girls and eventually was somewhat of a friend with everyone. When I walked across the stage on grad day I got one of the loudest applauses from the rest of the grade. Even though I was never invited to hangout on weekends or go to parties or really talked to more than a handful of people outside of school. I went to the grad party and got wasted. I hung out with just about everyone that night. Then that was it. School was over and just like on weekends or holidays no one bothered to message me or want to hang out at all.


cont

i feel you buddy.
currently drunk to get rid of my haeadache and anxiety. my life is so fucking boring and i dont know what to live for

I realized that no one really cared. Now that everyone is leaving for the cities to go to university or college I am left alone again. Due to my beliefs Sup Forumsack I didn't want to try to date anyone here because I am 3/4 German and I don't want to dilute my German blood anymore. I could have gotten a gf maybe but I wanted to wait for when I went to Germany for uni this October. The plan fell apart and I am likely going next year, but for now, due to my beliefs and circumstance I am stuck on a farm outside a small town which most of my classmates are leaving, this week, to go to universities and no one who wants to spend time with me. I dream of meeting a perfect qt 3.14 in my first month in Germany in school and never having these feels again. But I know that won't happen and for now I'm stuck for a year, with no gf, no f, and an ever growing depression and a need to get out, stuck with only my memories of the months prior in which I had people who I though cared about me

>fast forward to today, I'm 23yrs old, still got acne, even worst
>a bit more muscles but I feel like my acned baby face makes me looks fucking creepy now
>not a virgin thought, went out with like 2-3 girls for 1-3 months
>sex was bad, always awkward, didn't feel like i was satisfying the girls, felt unmanly
>smoke weed everyday, almost as soon as I'm up. hard drugs occasionally(never got hooked), trying to get out of this reality.
>used to have that one best friend who used to be just like me, some fucking clown
>people calling us cheech and chong, laughing loudly
>now his new friends don't like me and tell him I'm probably gay, useless and miserable
>I can see how he's looking at me, disgusted, my best friend. He doesn't talk to me anymore
>I used to think it was cool being the stoned idiot, but now having random shitbags laugh at my miserable life is driving me crazy
>been working in a metal shop as welder for 5 years now
>still fulfilling the careless punk role, starting to feel depressed but meh weed makes me happy
>no one respects me, even tough i do some of the best welds, everybody looks down on me
>I'm never serious about anything and people think it's because I'm high
>I feel like they're making fun of my mental illness, of my mental weakness
>been too depressed to complete my driver license so i never got it and I have to go to work on foot most of the time
>for 5 years now every time I arrive at job on foot people pity me
>and just like before, everybody assumes right off the bat that I'm a no good retarded drug addict even thought I'm trying real hard to act professional, do a decent job and never get high on job
>all of my friends dropped me, probably because of my dirty ass face, or maybe because I'm so unmanly and pitiful
>it seems like no one notices I'm severely depressed, not even my parents


cont.

I guess

>talking to girl for few months
>start falling for her
>everything in common
>look at her snapchat story
>she's snogging some emo goth cunt

that's deep

Well my fellow anons I'm off to bed so I can wake up and compete in the rat race again I hope everyone gets what they desire God speed anons God speed...

>Cue cancerous wailing.

Yes

continue please

That is some fucking gay tumblr shit, kill yourself.

please do this is a good story

Found the one with no empathy!

>haven't talk to my mother for a long time since I feel like she hates me
>not shaving my manlet beard everyday because it's cutting my sensible girly skin all over the place making it look like I got even more acne
>looking like some Goddamn highshcool boy at 23
>haven't had a girlfriend in over 4years because I feel like I disgust everyone
>live alone, almost never going out of my app in the weekend, no one passing by to see me but my father
>my job is fucking hell, getting yelled at everyday but I'm too depressed to try starting a life somewhere else
>bosses probably thinks it's because I'm too drugged up to work anywhere else
>I'm scared of what people will think of me all the time, even tough I'm acting like I don't give a shit
>Now at night I lay down in my bed eyes wide opened, thinking about the stuff I should've cared about
>at first I saw being depressed as a spiritual journey, making me enjoy and understand depressive music, books and movies.
>Now I'm starting to think about what I’ll look like in 5 more years
>Now I start thinking that suicide might be an option


Monday I'm gonna have to go talk to the bosses about the drug test they made me do last week. I don't know if the hard drugs I did last weekend are gonna show up. I don't know if the concentration of cannabis in my urine is gonna be enough to fire me. I don't know if all the experience I built there will be for naught. I also don't know when or how the debt I haven't paid in years is gonna show up in my life or how I'm gonna pay for my apartment without a job or welfare.

Actually I think I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide. The only option I feel available to me is to run away in another country as some punk with a backpack.

A good friend of mine that I haven't seen in a couple years and have only talked to a few times since she moved is coming in town next week. I'm happy that I get to see her again, but I have no idea how I'm gonna feel when she leaves again.

Kek, but I feel this

continuing
>she mentions that she thinks there's a problem with our relationship
>become a little scared. I offer to help in any way I could
>she wants to try to fix relationship and I agree
>still doesn't say what the problem is, whether it's me, something i'm doing, etc
>one day after a little bit of an argument she completely stonewalls me for the entire day
>get scared and literally cry all day trying to get ahold of her
>she's not responding to me at all
>this is so unlike her. we had grown accustomed to sharing everything with eachother
>in a day she tears it all down
>sends me a snapchat of her bitch friends smoking
>again, crushed
>she literally only hung out with them that day because they had drugs and cigarettes
>ask her why she's doing this to me
>no response
>finally in the evening that day she agrees for me to come over
>desperately want to talk to her about what happened
>still thought we could fix this
>she tries to avoid the subject
>mentally flipping out but trying to remain respectful and collected
>weeks go on and we hang out a little less over time
>when we are together, she's just lifeless and boring
>stops caring about all of her favorite things
>starts to only care about makeup
>seriously, makeup. Starts spending absurd amounts of money on this stuff
>again crushed, i thought i was helping her get over her insecurities about how she looked

keep going?

please user

...

just continue until the end

Yes, don't stop I'm hooked on this story

I'm forced to work with my ex, the girl I'm in love with, 45 hours a week. I see him drop her off and pick her up every day. It's leading me to very suicidal thoughts.

Thanks buddy. Its not like I want anything bad to happen it just feels like she's avoiding it cause of how I'll feel but I just want her to be honest so we don't have to pretend everything is okay when it's not.

why would you commit suicide because of a girl?

Thats no bueno friendo, you cant keep doing that to yourself, you wont make it. You must live!!

>At least I have Sup Forums

my fucking sides.

i tied a noose yesterday
it's in my bottom drawer, waiting to be used
should i do it Sup Forums?

...

>she becomes friends with a total hoe of a girl
>stops talking to her old best friend almost entirely
>she seems to be acting a little cold during our
time together

Shit, looks exactly like my problem now, please, cont user.

Don't to it

Nah man. Good stuff will still happen. You just gotta keep getting up after getting knocked down. Do your best to improve yourself
Whats your problems user? Maybe I can help

almost there
>it gets to the point where she just kinda uses me because i can drive
>our hanging out is just me driving her to school and back
>driving to fucking sephora
>driving her to and from her fucking cosmetology class during fall break
>the hoe girl is in that cosmo class
>hoe girl does drugs, wears a shit ton of makeup, kinda looks like pic related
>its starting to really hurt to be around her
>sometimes when we're together she spends 3-4 hours doing fucking makeup
>meanwhile I sit there sobbing because I don't know what to do
>can't get her to open up to me any more
>still doesn't mention what the "problem" with the relationship is
>start to become depressed
>not edgy like I was before. Just apathetic and sad about everything

continuing, guys. I'm a bit slow

I don't think I've ever genuinely felt some emotional bond with a woman since I was 14.

I'm 24.

No one wants bad things to happen. You just prepare for the worst and when the best happens, you feel that much better.

Friendo, please get rid of it. Having it there might help you deal with being suicidal, but it is a very dangerous crutch that you are better left without

Bump

Waiting anxiously for my g/f to come home.

Docket for tonight: She plans to have an emotional argument about how we aren't close anymore.

>Be me
>Have this girl in highschool AP art class
>seen her in passing before and though she was cute
>sit with her and her circle of friends since I barely know anyone else in the class
>get sorta in said circle, but I'm still the weirdo outlier dude
>really enjoy talking with first girl (let's call her S) about weird abstract games and Fallout
> After a couple'a days the only other dude from said circle of friends thinks I'm cute and one day asks me out
>say sure cause I'm bi and totally want a relationship
>date ends up being super awkward, I realize I don't really have feelings for him
>Fast forward to Art show field trip
>There's a buddy system and I end up siding with S
>We walk around and browse the displays, she really likes these specific realistic paintings for their colors
>We sit down at one point and we talk for a bit, the subject of the date is brought up somehow and she's like "Wow, that's so nice how you two are dating" or something to that effect
>Don't decide to tell her that it was a one off and play it cool
>I've developed somewhat of a crush on her over the course of the year and when she said that it made me feel weird.
>We go on after that and continue looking at displays and eventually go back
>Year goes on, I'm still lonely but for some reason I don't decide to ask out S since I'm an autist about talking to people
>Try to justify it in my head by saying she's not really my type anyway and she wouldn't go for me anyway

Cont.?

i had one too for a long time but eventually i thought of the nothingness that awaits us when we die. It kept me from doing it and is the main reason why i envy people who can actually believe in religions

long story short
>was in a relationship with a mentally unstable girl for a year and a half
>she's been in and out of abusive relationships, shitty parents, early age drug abuse, self harm, suicide attempts etc
>i got her to stop drinking/smoking cigarretes
>because i was good to her she got really clingy
>she starts treating me like shit because she was stressed about her parents divorced and her grandma died
>my depression started to worsen
>attempt suicide, fails (obviously)
>my depression wasn't that bad when we started dating
>"you're not the same person i fell in love with"
>break up with her a week later to improve mental health
>she immediately starts partying/smoking weed with the potheads at school
>i've been single and lonely since then

i broke up with hr 6 months ago, i just feel meaningless

...

>at some point she really bonds with MY best friend
>no fucking joke
>because he has weed
>she said she doesn't want me to drive her to school anymore
>she rides with my friend so they can just get high every day
>she stops trying in school and lets her grades go in the trash
>now they're together all the time
>not fucking though, she apparently wasn't interested in him, as he says to me later on
>i've had enough. i break it off over the phone because she wouldn't be around me physically
>she cries as if she suddenly cares about the relationship still
>I call her out on all her shit
>she's crying and crying
>okaybye.jpeg
>eventually my friend texts me what the deal was
>pic related

That's it?

>mfw she asked me to help her stop smoking
>mfw she made this big tumblr post about being secure and working on yourself not too long ago
>mfw i thought we were mutually helping each other become better people
>mfw she would tell my best friend about all these problems and not me
>mfw she wanted to fix the relationship, knew what the problem was but wouldn't tell me despite me begging
>mfw i felt used
>mfw my best friend later admits he wants her
>right after I told him i want her back and I want to fix this
>mfw she is now exactly like that hoe girl
>going to raves, doing trashy shit
>she's less attractive now
>with some NEET guy that was in jail
>mfw she brags about that
>mfw i will NEVER TRUST A WOMAN AGAIN.

what the fuck guys, all the greentexts only speak about relationships and stuff
I came here to share my feels of complete loneliness and despair and I end up it is so bad I can't
please bring me back old Sup Forums

Thats harsh man but your better off with out her
Just keeo fightin man
You never know whats around the corner

Is your name Ben k?

also i might point out that she brought up wanting to get married and start a life together FIRST.

Ignore that shit annon. Let's wallow in our self pity together. I too came here to stop feeling so lonely.

We're all here to get stuff off our chests. Feel free to unload whatever's bothering you, relationship-related or not.

Friendship ends. It's a simple fact of life. One of two things will happen. Either someone gets betrayed, or someone dies.

i'm fully aware that i'm better off without her, and i'm not in love with her, but after having to try to fix someone, it's just sad to let them go and watch as they fuck their lives up.

tfw you will never see the zone for yourself

heres my loneliness story, its pretty boring tho

...

Same here.

uh no why

I really try to but it's always the same
how bad is it for you?
for me I avoid any human contact since it always end up with me doing total cringy shit

not relatinshippin. but takes sum time