Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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Hey John,
Love the article, very well composed and with an artistic twist. Your point on me being fat was a real eye-opener. Have you ever thought of writing for a newspaper? You've got some chutzpah kid!

Yours,
Bartholomew

Was zum Teufel hast du grade über mich gesagt, du kleine Schlampe? Du solltest wissen, dass ich meine Ausbildung beim GSG9 als Jahrgangsbester abgeschlossen habe, in mehrere Kommandounternehmen gegen Al-Kaida involviert war und über 300 bestätigte Tötungen habe. Ich bin in Gorillakriegsführung ausgebildet und der beste Scharfschütze im deutschen Bundesheer. Du bist für mich nichts als ein weiteres Ziel. Ich werde dich mit einer nie zuvor gesehenen Präzision vom Antliz dieser Welt tilgen, merk dir meine verdammten Worte. Du denkst du könntest hier im Internet so eine Scheiße über mich erzählen und damit durchkommen? Denk lieber nochmal darüber nach, du Wichser. Während wir uns hier unterhalten, habe ich schon mein geheimes Netzwerk aus Spionen kontaktiert und deine IP-Adresse wird grade rückverfolgt, also mach dich besser auf den Sturm gefasst, du Made. Der Sturm, der das erbärmliche kleine Ding, das du als dein "Leben" bezeichnest, auslöschen wird. Du bist verdammt nochmal tot, Junge. Ich könnte jederzeit überall sein, und dich auf über siebenhundert verschiedene Arten töten, nur mit meinen bloßen Händen. Aber ich bin nicht nur im unbewaffneten Kampf ausgebildet, ich habe auch Zugriff auf das Waffenarsenal der Bundeswehr und ich werde es aufs Vollste ausschöpfen, um deinen elendigen Arsch von diesem Kontinent zu blasen, du kleiner Scheißkerl. Wenn du nur gewusst hättest, was für eine apokalyptische Rache dein kleiner "witziger" Kommentar provoziert hat, hättest du vermutlich dein verdammtes Maul gehalten. Aber nein, das hast du nicht hinbekommen, das wolltest du nicht, und jetzt wirst du dafür bezahlen, du verdammter Idiot. Du wirst in meinem Hass ertrinken. Du bist tot, Junge.

no shit sherlock

I remember when this was first posted almost 10 years ago.

Damn was I angry at John

Fucking queer, you don't know jack shit about life you little insignificant speck.

look at this faggot

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I'm an oldfag - I remember when this was funny.

alright you fucking faggots, you have no fucking idea how easy it is to be me. while you retards waste away and nag with your pepes and your feels on an autistic random weeb forum, i get 10/10 puss and ass whenever and wherever i want, and dick if i feel like it.
how does that feel, you desperate faggots

cool story bro

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op is a faggot

John,

Ordinarily I would have chosen to remain silent; but you seem to have a massive credibility problem here. You don't have the build of an athlete at all. You look just as out of shape as I was at your age. I'm having great difficulty believing that you were the captain of your high school's football team or that you were a starter on the basketball team. You look like you hardly engage in any physical activity at all. Your black friend looks far more athletic than you. By the way, over the last 40 years, I've known several guys who played football in high school, two of whom played college football and six of whom are members of my church. They have a lot of dignity; your posts have shown that you have none. You're not fit to kiss their feet. I also seriously doubt that your girlfriend is real. Even if she were your girlfriend and I were still single and young, I wouldn't envy you at all. The sort of young women you seem to be attracted to are nothing but walking vaginas. That indicates that you have a paucity of values. Just empty inside. Probably the only sex life you've had is the cheapest money can buy. I've always thought that the wholesome look is far more appealing and sexy than the slutty look. If you think you'll find true happiness in the nightclub circuit, you'll eventually be disappointed. You have a godless life that will prove to be totally unfulfilling in the long run. I'd hate to be you on Judgment Day. I was willing to have a serious, respectful dialogue with you; but you're obviously as fake as they come and not worthy or deserving of any serious consideration. As an abusive poster, you're actually quite disappointing. You're about as formidable as your skinny build. You're not even funny. You're just a young punk with an angry look on his face that probably masks a deep hurt inside.

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The oldfag in me in trying to get out

Is this real? This can't be real. If it is, witness the oldest newfag in history

OP you are really a dumbass. First off, you assume everyone is so bad. Let me point out your flaws. First, you said you were pretty much perfect. If that were so, you wouldn't brag about it, you would be humble and not attempt to gain attention from "no-life’s who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures." Second, you said we do nothing else than look at things on Sup Forums and the internet. There again you are wrong retard. I in fact only go on Sup Forums when i have absolutely nothing else to do. I (and I assume at least several others on here) have friends. By assuming that we are all people with no lives you once again prove your idiot ways to us- you cannot grasp a concept that people with lives can also use the internet. Third, if you are trying to prove to Sup Forums that you are perfect, at least type properly. "but you all take to a whole new level." You forgot a fucking 2 letter word. Fourth, A's are not that hard to get in high school dumbass. It's not a sign of intelligence, but an ability to listen. Good job for using something that everyone can do. Go to /sci/ and get your mind raped by some actual intelligence. There you go; I just wanted to you about how wrong you really are. With all honesty, I really don't give a shit what you say only wrote this because it’s fun as hell to rant to dumbasses. Next time, go tell someone who actually cares.
PS. I saw that pic on Google images and it most definitely isn't you faggot.

checked

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im ugly and i cant get laid with my girl

LMFAO, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK DUDE. YOU LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING BITCH OUT OF JERSEY SHORE. WHAT, YOU WEREN'T FUCKING GUIDO ENOUGH TO MAKE THE CUT? YOUR FAKE TAN JUST WASN'T FUCKING UP TO SNUFF? NOBODY FUCKING CARES KID. CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM?! MY FUCKING ASS LOL YOU ARE SKINNY AS SHIT AND NICE FUCKING FAKE CHAIN AND EMPTY BOTTLE OF FUCKING KID VODKA. IF YOU WERE AS HARD AND "GANGSTA" AS YOU CLAIM TO BE YOU, FIRST OF ALL, WOULDN'T BE HERE TALKING SHIT AT FUCKING 8 AM IN THE MORNING AND SECONDLY YOU'D PROBABLY BE TOO HUMBLE TO GIVE A SHIT. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT EITHER WAY. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU FUCKING TWIG FUCKS WHO WEIGH LESS THAN THE ANOREXIC WHORES THEY ASSOCIATE WITH ACTING ALL FUCKING HARD AND SHIT WHEN A SIMPLE BREEZE WOULD MAKE THEM CRUMBLE.

GO GET SOME MORE FUCKING CHILDREN'S VODKA AND FAKE BRONZER AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT ANOTHER FAKE CHAIN HOW ABOUT SOME DOG TAGS? THAT'S FUCKING GHETTO RIGHT THERE YOU GUIDO FUCKING BITCH.

AND FUCK YEAH I'M MAD PEOPLE I GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME IF I'M MAD BRO B/C I FUCKING AM AND I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF FAGGOTS LIKE THIS

FUCK YOU

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that's a good one, i've got that one

Wow, are you actually proud of being the dude in the picture? I've seen literal pieces of shit in truckstop toilets with more class, looks and intelligence than you. And you fail in another way: your girl has an ugly face, and you don't show her body? You are clearly an idiot since we can rule out that maybe, just maybe she is a butterface. But no, all we see is an ugly face with a possibly worse body.
BTW, if you are in high school, then you will look old as an 80-year old anus by the time you are 25. And there is no way you are in college, because then it would not be possible to be on both the football team and the basketball team. So feel proud that you are part of two sports in some shitty high school, soak it up now, because as soon as you get out of that place, you will realize how little any gives a shit about the meaningless trophies or positions you held in high school.
I'd offer to fight you, but I fear that if I touched you, I'd be covered in an oily mucus secretion that your overactive sebaceous glands are obviously pumping out.

You have a selfie stick, what a fucking faggot.

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Hey guys,

My name is Jenna, and I'm asking every single one of you to help me. My boyfriend is this skinny, greasy-haired guido who spends every second of his day looking at his stupid ass hair. He is everything bad with today's youth. Honestly, do all men brag about having fucked their "bitches" last night? I mean, I guess it's because of peer pressure and trying to be accepted, but he takes it to a whole new level. This is even worse than drinking beer all day and listening to Heavy Metal.

Don't ignore me. Please, help me. I'm pretty much desperate. I was a regular at the literature club, and vice-president of the science club. I also had a thing for classical music? I used to get straight A's, that is, before I met him (He just made me blow him; Shit was SO gross). He's a faggot, and I want to kill him. Please help me!

Pic Related: It's me.

this actually sounds like it could be real

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Hey Ameritards,

My name is Don, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid facts, sad. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any real pussy? I mean, it's fun making fun of reporters, women and trolling inbreeds for their votes, but I take it to a whole new level. This is better than spuging on female reporters from FOX.

Don't be a Loser. Just vote for me, I am your best shot for a life. I'm perfect. I was the best captain of any football team, and starter on my own basketball team. What sports are you the greatest at, I mean other than "jacking off to the Olympic games"? I also got straight A's, the best money can buy, and have a banging hot third wife and daughter (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all cucks who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my soon to be ex-bitch

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do you even so cash? fagget

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