ITT: things you don't say on the first date

ITT: things you don't say on the first date.

I'm a ccccc.....cocaine addict!

You do anal?

Would you like to play a game?

I think my girlfriend would like you

You have to eat all the eggs

Sooo... Do you have a sister?

send the next girl in on your way out

You're fat.

do you always look this bad?

are you the type that fucks on the first date?

sorry if i'm nervous, I'm not use to dating women.

"You look like you've got a smelly puss. You're going to shower before I fuck you."

you remind me of my mother.

This Dick wont get sucked by himself

We have about two hours before my mom comes back to pick me up.

"Hahaha, well I've been told I look like a child molester"

This

why don't we go back to my place and look at my manga collection

gets me every time

I don't normally have sex with women, but I'd be willing to make an exception.

I forgot my wallet

"My dick is only three inches long...i hope that's ok."

Can I meet your parents?

hold still, I need a new picture of you to fap to.

I brought my family to watch

jajajjajaja dups

yea topkek here too

How many goats does your father needs?

is the sex happening or do I need to leave

Holy shit, I'm not very confident in myself, but that just gave me a huge confidence boost knowing I'm not that spaghetti. Gotta give the guy points for a sense of humor though.

Do you know if this place takes food stamps?

how much for a blowjob?

St-story please?

If you're anything like your sister, we're in for a fun night ;)

It's called the Quran

Used this one before on a blind date at a bar. "Here. This is the beer without a roofie in it.... Okay maybe just a half a roofie."

...

"You're not a man!"
"Only losers open the door for bitches"
"What do you mean you're not into pegging?!"
"Spin around, lemme See the full package"
"You sure you want to order that, fatty?"
"Be right back, that waitress wants my dick"

"excuse me, I'm looking for my date, she's this cheap slut I met online; didn't even include any pics. just tell me if you see an ugly woman dining alone."

Oh man those faggots

nothing against micropenis?

how rich did you say your parents are?

I have aids

I cannot be near schools

I'm not sure about how to ruin it on the first date, but on the second I always find "Wait, did you want me to wear rubber?" to be a game changer.

You look lovely.

So you're a heroin addict aswell?

I go on Sup Forums

You remind me of my mother.

My name user, and this is my pawn shop

the most truthful post

you look like a hooker I fugged once

This is the first date I've left the house for

so these condoms expire tonite

please tell me you don't want to fuck me