OP is back with an update for those who care

OP is back with an update for those who care.

GOt myself a job, Still doing excersize, and got a new haircut.

Why do i still feel pretty empty inside Sup Forumsros?

Bc you have no soul Kenny

It's just a bitch to make friends, You put yourself out there, and people are just intimidated i guess. Hard to break into a friend group at 20 when your pretty much a piece of shit.

What is it that you need to make you feel less empty inside? What is it, specifically, are you looking for?

People are intimidated by you? Or is it the other way around?

companionship i suppose?.
Its either find something to make me naturally happy, or be high 24/7 (which ive actually took a long break from for a while)

Thats a good one. Not sure, i DO put myself out there and let it be known i want some people to hang out with, but im not just gonna inject myself inorganically to situations.

You're the one who's saying that people are "just intimidated" when you put yourself out there. You think you intimidate people?

What im saying is, to me atleast, it would seem weird for someone to try so hard to be part of the already established friend group.

Which is what ive been doing, going really out of my way to let people know id like to hangout and be friends and whatnot.

Maybe intimidate is the wrong word, but i think you get what im saying

I'm sort of a few steps behind you in regards to doing stuff. Need a new job, but I still have my current one which isn't terrible. I'm on and off exercising. Can't stay consistent. Some days I'm motivated, but some days I'm not. Did just get a new haircut too, but nothing special.

Either way, I'm also feelings this emptiness inside lately. More than ever. I went to party the other night, and now I feel like that void grew even bigger. I feel like something's missing from my life, and I don't know what it is. Tried filling it with alcohol and games, but those are only temporary. When you're stuck with your own thoughts at work for 8 hours, plus the travel time to and from, you start to realize that you can't just fill it with that empty nonsense.

Yes. So much yes. fucking running in circles in my mind just trying to find some sort of happiness in just being alive, but it seems damn near impossible.I even have my (new?) family as a support system, and the fact they are so supportive and whatnot, it still doesnt help. It wrecks my mental state..

like am i just fucked in the head and will enver find some closure?

Its scary, because ive tackled the idea of suicide before, like legitimately, but im too much of a pussy to ever go through with it.

2 words
STOP MASTURBATING
after one month you'll be everything you always wanted to be

It's good you have a support system, but I can understand why it doesn't help. I don't really talk too much to my friends and family about my shit, but they do come around and help in certain ways. For example, my sister just pitched in $150 recently to help me get this computer. I could have gotten a cheaper one, and I would have happily, but she was like, "If you want this one, let's get this one" basically.
Same with the party. I was drunk, more than anyone else, but my friends and I had a a bit of a moment. It was really nice, but it doesn't quite fill the void. It does make me want to spend more time with though because they're temporary fit is a bit better than alcohol.

I understand where you're coming from though. It's like, the more they do, the more you just sort of feel bummed out afterwards. I keep telling myself what I need is a girlfriend or some time in college to figure my shit out, but the girlfriend thing is a long shot and the college thing fell through, sort of, so I have to wait until the fucking Spring which I'm really upset about. I'm 23 by the way, not some fresh out of high school teeny-bopper, so the school thing is a bigger deal to me because it feels like the ONLY way to start making some strides towards a better life.

Also, I've contemplated the suicide thing before too. Maybe not as much as you, but I'm also too much of a pussy. Plus, when I think about everything I haven't done, and the people who'd miss me, it just sort of takes the edge away and I don't want to do it anymore. I've also thought about selfharm before as well. I've thought about this much more seriously as well. Haven't done it once, but I get closer and closer these days.

i have. Atleast i have stopped doing it daily, its more of a weekly thing ot so at this point. Ive heard this before, so ive tried.

It used to be wicked bad, like maybe twice a day. When i stopped smoking weed, i pretty much stopped 'bating as well.

Yeah, i cant imagine the idea of people around my casket asking 'why they couldnt help me' or something. It would be fucked up to do to the people i DO care about.

im almost 21 at this point, so im kinda fresh, but i also really want/wanted college. I would be the first in my family to get a degree. Ive just never really had the means, herion addicts everywhere, old family didnt give a fuck about me growing up through the years.

Just keep fighting the good fight, and hold that faith that something will change it.. thats what i do, even though its really rough some days.

you need to stop doing it at all, you need to have a gf who would satisfy your needs for you. If you really MUST do it, don't masturbate to porn (abolish Sup Forums if possible or install Sup Forums X plugin and filter out porn threads), and masturbate only if you got the erection naturally.

Also, about being fulfilled, have you tried with gf? How old are you? Maybe it's time to become a father and your body feels miserable for not spreading seed. Have you tried helping/donating people? Meditating? Doing once-in-a-lifetime experience with dmt/shrooms/lsd/mescaline? Try what suits you the best.

Has it helped at all? I more or less do at least once a day. Usually, if I skip a day, I skip multiple, but once I start again, the cycle continues. Do you feel any better doing it less frequently? Personally, the only motivation to hold off for a while is that when you finally do it again, it's so much better that first time. I guess that's a bit sad, but it's the truth.

see Just stop it. You'll feel more confident, manlier, motivated, stronger, energized, your erections will pop up during the day all the time and will be 2x harder. Literally like stopping any addiction, it works the same in the brain

Yeah, taking myself away from the people that matter to me feels more selfish than most things I can do. It doesn't stop the thoughts, but it does keep them at bay.

Most people in my family don't have degrees, but a few of my cousins have gone, and my sister is going for her Doctorate's in Accounting. She's been going to school for like 12 years. Her dedication is inspiring, but there have been various things--not all me, but still partly me to blame--that have held me back from school though. I really want to go though. I'm not sure what I'll major in, but I have a few ideas. I just want the chance to pursue something better and stop living this complacent, kind of shitty life. That sucks about your old family though. Glad you've got people supporting you now even if I don't know you personally.

I'm trying to keep up the good fight. I'm taking it day by day. My daily indulgences keep me somewhat grounded. It's only when I'm alone with my thoughts and no distractions that it gets really difficult to keep my head up.

Ive taken shrooms, DXM and lsd. all altered my perception of reality, but not exactly for the better.
It just further confirmed my bad thoughts about people in general and the lack of a god.

It does help, gotta get occupied doing other things, like ill go outside, and actually do shit. But its not like an epiphany moment. You do get alot more aggresive though, in the way that you dont really give a fuck what people think and youll just do you.

Ive pretty much broken any addiction i had to it, which i admit was for sure bad at one point. Its no longer my 'before sleep- sleep aid' Its only when im really feeling it. I got fed up with going down the rabbit hole of the internet, too much things at the fingertips. Ive pretty much not been on my computer alot in the last 2 months as well. Tried all this shit, and its just not fulfilling

I find this a little difficult to believe. Honestly, and I'm not gonna bullshit you here, I'm terrible with girls, and as the years have gone by, my level of sexual frustration has only increased. If someone had talked me into stopping a few years back, I might have listened, but now just the thought of stopping stresses me out. I don't NEED the relief, but I still feel like I need it.

>It does help, gotta get occupied doing other things, like ill go outside, and actually do shit. But its not like an epiphany moment. You do get alot more aggresive though, in the way that you dont really give a fuck what people think and youll just do you.
It's not like I spend all my time doing it, so "doing something else" isn't really gonna motivate me stop. I already do other stuff, well, sort of anyway. I'm already aggressive now. Everything irritates me lately. I mean, I'm still amicable with people, but my temper's a good bit shorter than it used to be. Masturbating doesn't really help in anyway, so it's not like I'm using that as an excuse not to stop. It's more so that if it could possibly shorten my temper even more, that would not be good in any way.

nah, i get that, its not like your hauled up in your room everyday just whackin it. its odd though, its definitely an addiction.(not saying you personally just in general) Endorphine rush in brains that you can replicate with a flick of a wrist. Its fucked.

Rev up those dicks boys
Cuz this kid is one huge faggot

Yeah. I don't a FEEL addicted, but I guess if I can't just stop on my own, then I probably rely on it a lot more than I think I do. It's not even that satisfying some days, and those days make me want to do it more because I've had other days where it's great. Getting a bit detailed here, but essentially, my orgasms vary greatly in intensity. Some factors I can control, others I cannot, so when I have a shit wank, I'm more motivated to do it again (usually within in the same day) to get better results. However, most days, I only do it once.

...

I know this is a joke, but I've honestly thought about this too. However, I can't really get into it because I don't buy into it. Shame too because I love the atmosphere in the really good communities.

Its too mystical for me, its all written off so easily.
The world is in some shit, but 'its not god, its the devils work' fuck that shit dude. I am a person of reason, and theres no reasoning the omnipotent god that people claim to be a thing.

I can however believe that there was some intervention in our creation, even if its gene splicing from another race. It just doesnt make sense to me in the 1xxxxxx years that have passed, we are the only animals to really fight against everything it means to be an animal.