Best way to kill myself without anyone knowing it was suicide. Trying to do it within the week. Anyone got any tips?

Best way to kill myself without anyone knowing it was suicide. Trying to do it within the week. Anyone got any tips?

Inb4 no user don't bullshit

hire a hitman.

No user dont

Suicide rarely looks like an accident.

Source: EMT

Go for an exciting hike, and magically fall off a cliff.
Not that hard dumbass!

user dont plz
u have so much to live 4

Use a shotgun. No one in your life will think it is a suicide because you're established as a fucking pathetic pussy bitch

Hang naked with porn around
People will think Sexual Asphyxiation and pity you.

I think I saw a movie once where a guy ran into a police station with a toy gun that was painted black.

Wrap your car around a tree

>this

Take 4500mg of Tylenol and drink until you pass out, keep it up for a few nights and you'll tank your liver and be dead w/in a week or so.

but i'd drink a lot b4 you do, that way it looks like you really could have lost control

Always found to be suicide
Unless you're an actual threat, then it might be considered self-defense.

"autoerotically" asphyxiate yourself. Make sure you have a book on it or a webpage pulled up. That way you look like a freak who accidentally died instead of a suicide.

People run off the road all the time.

The guy or the toy? I mean, same result regardless, but just curious.

Damn beat me to it.

Name? Need to check obits, yeah?

Suicide by cop.

Yeah just have Pokemon Go on your phone as you crash, it will be a great story in the paper.

Snakes. Adopt one. You can even order them online.

Nose dive off of a clock tower and say time Flys when youre a faggot.

kidney failure is extremely painful and it is likely user wouldnt last long enough to go through with it

...

Hire yourself as window cleaner at skytower. Then just... damage your belt... then fall down.

People just think that the snake killed you. Remember to Buy 1 or 2 weeks of food and set up its living conditions. Snakes will kill without hesitation. In my opinion, they are more reliable than guns.

It is liver failure

It'll likely be somewhat painful but not inherently slow an hour or two.

Go on every social media account you have and start saying you have information about either Clinton's emails or 9/11 being an inside job and you're afraid you'll be killed before you can go public, then trash your apartment to make it look like there was a struggle and fire two shots randomly in your house to make it look like your attacker missed, then shoot yourself in the head. Instant fame, and no matter what evidence they're given your family and friends will never believe it was suicide.

If I were to kill myself, it'd be by immolation. Maybe get drunk before cooking and be reckless with the stove and some cooking oils. Maybe I'd pass out while frying some grits or leave an oily rag by the stove while I watch a film.

Either way it's a bitch. But it's definitely liver failure. Kindeys might take significantly longer.

Genius

That's really faggy. Don't pollute us with your shit if you are on your way out. That's just selfish

Fucking brilliant

There aren't a whole lot of options for "accidental suicides" considering how far forensic science has advanced. I would recommend jumping off a building, but leaving a banana peel on the roof. That way they will rule it an accidental slip!

>badum tish

Let your gas open and egnite
Go hiking find a bear.

Take a lethal dose of ricin. It'll look like nothing but a bad cold.

Where do I get ricin

Get hit by train

Get a shit ton of helium filled balloons and tie them to the grip of a light pistol, shoot yourself and the gun will fly away.

If you keep this thread up until tomorrow or ask around I can give you a recipe.

Find secluded cliff edge with road.
Deliberately spread oil on road.
Drive fast at corner, hit oil, lose control, crash, die,??????, profit!