In this thread I pretend to be a psychologist

In this thread I pretend to be a psychologist.

Tell me what's on your mind user and I'll pretend to help you as best I can.

Also we spam touhou pictures.

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is it weird to have a desire to be pat on the head? to receive that kind of affection

...

No, there's nothing strange about that. We all like to have a little affection given to us now and then. Genuine affectionate contact like that is too rare these days.

i mean....
disregarding all of the gender equality nonsense, it feels sort of weak to feel this way
guess i really am a fag
embarassing

Why do i like to deny my gf sex? i like sex alot but when ever she initiates i act like im not interested at all. She even does the whole sexy clothes bit i just act like i dont care. i know it makes her feel bad but i dont know why i do it.

Well it depends what kind of feeling or relationship you are looking for. If you are looking for a situation where you can be taken care of and treated like a child by a girl then it might be difficult. If you are looking for a relationship where sometimes you can put your head in her lap and get pet and screw acting tough about it then that's very possible.

How do you feel when you engage sex with her? And when she initiates are you interested but acting like you're not or are you actually just uninterested?

when we have sex its good. Nothing special. I just find it boring and tedious at times. Its not like i over masturbate either. if i do jerk it its maybe like once or twice a week. I should rephrase it. I am interested when she initiates but its more like an eh feeling

Well from what you're describing to me it sounds like you are not very interested in your girlfriend. Could that be the case?

as uncomfortable as it feels to admit(and to adjust), i might be attracted to men
i've been a NEET for as long as i can remember though, so it's even weirder...
how does one integrate into a social lifestyle after being shut away for so long? i'm still relatively young; not 30 or anything

Maybe. Everything about the relationship is great. Except the sex. Sometimes when we end up having sex i just get her off then go to bed or something. I feel like the female in a married situation you know? and shes the guy always wanting sex. I love her i really do its just i guess she doesn't please me.

It just takes practice, every social group has its own little rules and ettiquette. I work a job that involves being alone with little social contact for long stretches. Sometimes by the end of the day I can barely talk properly. If you want to get back into socializing just be honest about your inexperience and with any luck you'll find people who won't mind showing a noobie the ropes. The gay community actually has a lot of experience with young men who aren't used to the scene.

Hello again, Ran.

The MRI is done, now waiting for results. Should arrive in a few weeks.
Fell asleep in the machine, lol

Often lack of attraction in relationships is a sign of some other issue, if you're still masturbating normally it's not a physical problem. Was there a point in the relationship where you were more interested in sex with her? Was there any sort of turning point where that interest began to fade?

Hey again user, glad you got your head looked at by some pros. I'm amazed you managed to fall asleep though, those things are loud as hell. Did the doctors have any idea what was up?

if i had to pinpoint a time i would say maybe last year? in the beginning we had sex maybe 4-5 times a week now its maybe 2 times. Usually i don't even get off. Should i just dump her user? I know she feels like shit because of this and i even heard her on the phone with her sister talking about ways to be more attractive to me.

Nope, not yet. The pictures will have to be looked at first.
They gave me earplugs, so it wasn't that loud. Still, I'll fall asleep anywhere I can just lie down at.

You shouldn't necessarily dump her. If you aren't attracted to her that suggests that there is some issue in the relationship for you but that issue is not always unsolvable. While guys are known for being pretty physical with our attraction we have emotional and intellectual needs that are just as important. At a guess its one of those that isn't being met for you in this relationship.

If you don't mind me asking, besides the physical what was it that attracted you to this girl in the first place? What did you like about her?

Well I guess now we just cross our fingers and hope you don't have the brain aids.

is it?
at a glance, i'd say i'd be paranoid about trusting a group like that
sounds like it'd be really easy to get exploited
i've NEVER had a social lifestyle... what do you recommend i do..?

Let's be honest. You are still attracted to her, just not so much in a sex way anymore. I just think maybe you shouldn't base your relationship entirely off of sex anymore. Or just less on sex than it was before. Does that make sense?
(Also not OP)

I met her through a friend at her birthday party. She asked my friend for my number and texted me a few days later asking if we wanted to hang out. What i guess attracted me to her is her smarts and love of books (i'm a part time writer) we got to talking and we hit it off pretty well. I thought it was pretty awesome considering shes a solid 8 and im around a 6.

Our relationship is not all sex. We live together in my apartment. We pretty much do everything together and i genuinely enjoy it.

Well I'll put it this way if you're moderately attractive and anywhere near a metropolitan area it would be very easy to have as much gay sex as you care for. That can be exploitative if you're looking for something out of it other than sex. As for what to do about socializing. Well, what would you like to do? Is there a kind of person you'd like to meet or relationships you'd like to build?

No one posting Liru can talk about non-sexual attraction. It's the rules.

So from what you're telling me so far it sounds like she might always have been a lot more interested in you than you were in her. When you say she's smart and loves books do you share similar tastes? Can you talk to her about what you're writing and expect an interesting response? Do you like talking to her? I understand you think you're getting a good thing here because she's hot but it sounds like you may be trying to disregard your need for something more than that.

Eh, I worded that a little badly. What I meant to point out was how you are no longer as interested in sex as she is according to what you have said so far. This is technically considered a normal part of relationships. How I would deal with this is being honest with her. Couples need to solve these kinds of problems together. If your interests in sex are changing, make sure she knows it isn't her fault. And if you still want to keep the relationship going after that, you should both come up with ways to fill in that tradition.

Is this better?

hm....
well... i'm not too confident about my looks, but that's mostly because i'm clueless about appearence(specifically hair)
but i do think i'm at least moderately attractive. though a bit self conscious about my ignorance about how to "maximize my potential"

i'm not necessarily eager to get sex, honestly
i'm not going to say i don't want it, but... is it unrealistic to want a "first" to be with someone close?

the kind of person i'd like to meet? what kinds of people are there?
i'm very socially inept, and honestly only know about tropes and stereotypes, and nothing really more than that...

When i talk to her about my writing she gives good input. Not just the "ooh thats good" input but actually helping me like really good constructive criticism. Currently she's a nursing major and im always interested to hear about what shes learning. Our conversations are always good. We do share similar tastes but not every single thing. She doesn't really care about my vidya and computer stuff (IT technician) and i don't really care for her gardening. We are both outdoorsy people though. We like to hike often and long board occasionally. Usually our saturday's consist of drinking on our balcony just talking about stuff. Usually pretty late in the night we get deep you know the usual aliens, government, and spiritual conversations. its just sucks that im not as interested in having sex with her as she is with me.

I tried explaining to her that i still find her attractive and that i love her and she says she understands but i know she really feels like i don't at times. Especially with the effort she puts in to try and get me to have sex with her.

I almost never reveal my name online because of privacy reasons. But I have a more extreme case to talk about...
I joined a social media site that was Pokémon related. I was laying low like I do in real life. Because of this, I went in my settings and messed around with things. I also got rather popular on the community I was with. The thing is, I'm starting to feel bad about my lying. I'm not religious, but I do think the teachings of Buddha carry a great theme. I just want to know what I should do about this.
Side note: the community in question is so cringe, I RP 'married' another user. There's also a really good inactive friend there that knows my actual gender. I will stop and let you judge this.
>inb4 this becomes a copypasta

Flat chested neko-girls, also good taste. You have potential. There's some tricks you're going to have to learn for talking to people in this kind of setting though. Never, never take statements at their literal meaning.

A guy comes to us and says he's having problems with sex. The only thing we know for sure is that he's lying. No one would admit to sex problems if that was all that was going on much less in a psychological setting. This means he has problems with the relationship large enough that the sex is an easier target to project them onto. First we probe, second we probe, third we probe. Now look what he says... does not talk about fights, jealousy, emotions, nothing. Keeps repeating that his girlfriend is attractive, says she's smart and loves books. People lie so we know he's not attracted to her and does not think she's smart. Now look at his reply to you.

"We pretty much do everything together and I genuinely enjoy it"
> I genuinely enjoy it

He hates it, he wants to escape and does not know how. The easy thing to do here is to help him by saying hey just leave the girl! If you aren't attracted you can't be blamed, give him an excuse. That's what he wants but it isn't what he needs. What he needs is not just to leave her it's to understand why he's leaving her so he can find something real to him and not get trapped in this again. So we can either force him through it as best we can or do the funny thing and take the opposite. Try to convince him that he does love his girlfriend and should stay, he wants the excuse so doing this forces him to argue against us and in doing so he has to start making correct arguments.

I suddenly get the urge to become a cantaloupe. Whenever I see one, that misty brown netted exterior hiding such a vivid orange. The sight is too much for me. I become overwhelmed. I desire to dress as a melon. These urges cannot be stopped until I do so.

Well you might benefit from something more exploratory then. Have you considered joining some sort of interest group? There's things like gay-gamer groups that I know are quite friendly.

Well if you can talk to her that extensively than this is probably a relationship worth keeping. Have you considered couples counseling? They often deal with sexual issues in relationships and could help you keep yours together.

So the issue here is that you pretended to be a girl on an online forum and ended up catfishing some other guy and are now unsure what to do?

Damn. Made me look at my relationship in a whole new way user.

First off, apart from sex, I see almost nothing wrong with this relationship. I can see how one would assume he was trying to get out of the relationship, but I also believe taking that direction is not wise if all you have to justify it is the sex alone. Love still exists. And sex is not the only way to show someone that you love and care about them. She may love sex, but I bet you there are some other things that she loves as well. If you want to show her that you love her without sex, use your knowledge of her to your advantage.

Yeah. Feel like a shithead either way. If I do reveal, that's going to be some thing that I'll have caused. If I don't, I'll just be where I was yesterday. I do believe that making rights should be done, but two wrongs don't make a right. The question is if it will be a wrong or right.
And yes, I'm a peice of shit for doing that. I feel bad, lest I wouldn't be here about it.

the only kind of group i know about is the kind in school
honors/stem/alpha theta kappa honors
but i dont think that counts....

i dont think my area has a community like that;feels like arizona is pretty "eh" on that side of things
it's full of old people mostly

If you can get quads like that I think you can become the biggest fruit anyone's ever seen user.

At a guess, this is sarcasm.

Well the lying is already done, revealing that you've done a bad thing is not by itself a good deed. Don't expect anyone to pat you on the back for it. It's not a right countering a wrong, it's just a wrong that you stop doing. In the short-term there will be more hurt feelings not less but you can at least stop any further harm you might cause by continuing this.