What up Sup Forums

what up Sup Forums

give me your best/worst pickup lines

go

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?

It's 'scrambled or fertilised' you fucking faggot

you must be gasoline, cuz even tho u expensive, id still pump you in my van

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

If you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber.

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're highly machinable when combined in steel alloys.

Nothing? Ah well, I tried. Fun fact: Tellurium is mildly toxic.

get in van I got candy

OLE EVBIN 9RED FUN FACTS xD xDXED
>plz upvote

ay gurl u from iraq? cuz you should baghdad ass up

Heh

Hey, Aren't there 20 letters in the alphabet?
>No 26
Oh yeah I forgot about U R A QT
>Lol, that's only 25.
Yeah but you get the D later, if you act right.

>me:heyy babe
>her:hey
>me:I spell heyy with two 'y's ;)
This worked I'm not even shitting you

a-are you an archaeologist?

because i've got a very large bone for you to examine

pls respond

>wanna be my ate? you'll get the D later

I've not tried it but
>Hey, I need a woman's opinion. Let's say I see a hot girl at a bar, is it too forward to just ask her name and start a conversation?
>"No" - Hi I'm user, what's your name?
>"Yes" - thanks bye

Also bad pickup line
>Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a bitch

>when we try to text girls

Thanks, user.

If you were a bogey, I'd pick you.

I hope you have a helmet, because you are going through the headboard tonight.

Tellurium is one of those faggy ass elements that doesn't exist naturally.

Don't worry, I brought two paper bags.

horrible, dont try it

Are you my little toe? 'cause I'd bang you on all the furniture.

Made me lol.

Fair

got any irish in you?

want some?

fag, only works on try hard Americans, none of which I'd ever want to put my dick in

What if I'm Austrian? Does it work also?

you like tapes and CDs? cuz ima tape my dick to yo forehead so you can CDs nuts

You smell like shit let's take a shower

>Wait aren't you the girl from subway?
>'No'
>Really? I swear I've gotten a toasty 6 inch everytime I see you

OP is made of gallium and yttrium.

cmon man, be realistic.
>I've got a toasty 4 and a half

>Nice dress. I bet it'd look great on my floor.

Also...
>Hi, I'm user.
>So?
>So now you know what to scream when I make you come tonight.

And of course
>Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Sorry I'm keto

you forgot ä ö and ü faggot

...

...

ü is not how you spell å, user.

i work with a couple women you could use that on\

6 inch are only 15,2 cm smallfag
thats not even big
thats only average

Are you made of copper and tellurium?
Because you are 3-15$ per pound.

fuck off ß is the way to go

i'm sending all these to this grill on snapchat, it's fucking working

will upload nudes if they come

Okay

>not using the superior cyrillic alphabet
>фаггот

hey gurl do you have aspergers cause i do

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

damn you gotta be real fucking rich to make that line work

>I have a fat stack of 100$ bills, now who want's to suck my dick?

only one to work here

>not using czar-tier cyrillic alphabet correctly
Ёб твою мать, сука

if you executed correctly it is a very good line.

>Not using weeb superpowers
>ファッゴット
>OPはホモですよ。
As for pickup lines...
>Hello, miss. Need help fixing your plumbing?

it has some potential, but the punchline is a little bit over the top

Cause she smells like shit? Should have known you fucking weebs go for the greasy bitches who are the only people in the world that smell worse than you neckbeard shitdicks

If you are Jesus I wanna be the cross.

>implying you're average

My friend over there dared me to come over here, he's convinced you're a tranny but I keep telling him you look too perfect to have been a guy. I mean if you are that's cool, I'm totally down to, uh, give a lady a bun for her hotdog. Either way I mean, I'm totally cool with it. My friend is the one who thinks you have a penis. I mean you don't, right? Look at you, your vag is probably smoother than a lubed bobsled, all tight and perfect but I bet it doesn't hold 4 guys! So, wanna grab a drink?

Hey, for us neckbeard shitdicks, going for the greasy bitches isn't a preference; it's a necessity. The logic is as follows: If she smells like shit, she'll be so used to it that she won't notice that I reek like a fucking dumpster. Therefore, she won't instantly reject me. QED.

"Ah, Usah Dude"
prepare to get a lot of pussy after that line bro

This

>Assad'd

Syrian Supremacy

Nice shoes.

Want to fuck?

"I started going out with somebody else"

My last gf used this line to break up with me after 7 years. Luckily I owned the house she lived in lel

>pls respond

Is this Wheel of Fortune? Cause I'd love to buy your vowel.

Nice, sliced her up good!

You know, you also could pick up human beings by taking a shower more frequently than twice a year and not smell like shit.
>she wont instantly reject
Then follows the point in which she sees you.
There are options how to make yourself less of a neanderthal and more humanlike, but you fedoralords have restrictions to how humanlike you can get. The best you can go for is probably 3/10, but it's a lot better than a 0/10 trashcan pubscrub

He's just trying to keep you from using his line.

Do you know what roofies are?
No?
Can I buy you a drink.

Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in raw.

i usually say fried

If you were a vegetable I'd pull the plug

*girl about to drink something*

- Don't drink that !

*take the drink off her hand*

- I saw someone poisoning it !

- Oh thank you so much !

Wroks everityem

If you got through that without being told to fuck off, I'd be impressed

Does this napkin smell like chloroform?

this post is to cute to be on Sup Forums you need to run and hide your innocence

Great, even Satan's a white knight now.

>maxresdefault
>maxres

you like dick? because i do
-OP

>taking a shower more frequently than twice a year
>implying my body and personality allow me to aim higher than 0/10
shiggy diggy

I DONT GET IT!

this is not a pick up line,but the picture doesnt resemble me
im not cute,im ugly,im a fatass 11 year old faggot,i still have my eyes purple from 6 years ago,i want to die

You obviously didn't have many friends as a kid.

Do you have 11 protons? Because you're Sodium fine

Kek

This post might just be the worst fucking thing I've ever read

You're the most beautiful girl in the room, and if I saw you on the street, you'd be in the top 5, depending on the steet.
You're so beautiful, you could be a part-time model. You could spend part of your time being a model, and part of your time with me.

>we

"Hey, wanna start a family?"

Friend used this line, according to him it worked.

EXPLAIN IT TO ME NIGGER

This hurt to read.

>if i was in a room with hitler and you, and i was given a revolver with 2 bullets, i'd shoot you twice
Worked once

"Hey, want to get brutally raped in that alley by 4 niggers? if not you should come with me"

Jesus fuck. And extended 'hey' implies flirtation and raunchy intentions. Making it obvious is the ice breaker.

underrated

You're so beautiful you're like a tree. Or like a high class prostitute. But like a high class, yeah a high class one.

Hey bitch. My name is Chad. Let's have sexfuck.