Why are you here? What about you has alienated you from society

Why are you here? What about you has alienated you from society.
I'll start.
>adopted
>insecure angry bisexual
>Dad died young
>Co dependent/sociopathic mother
>ptsd from Afghanistan
>recovering alcoholic
>etc etc etc

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youtube.com/watch?v=emHAoQGoQic
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no gf

>mommy bought me laptop for homeschool at 13 ten years ago
>used it to look at porn and ebaumsworld
>saw a Sup Forums watermark on a yahoo answer screenshot of someone asking about steam coming out of a vagina
>got here when everything was still original and it blew my adolescent mind how people could be so funny
>managed to stay relatively normal
>17 girlfriends and one night stands
>friends that have come and gone
>really not a social reject
>still come here to see faggots like you wallow in your self pity

I'm literally a faget wallowing in self pity.
But I still get pussy whenever I feel like it.

... and "ptsd" lol you are just bitch made
What happened that was so bad?
Your "buddy" died and now you've been whining ever since?

I'm literally bitch made. Read my green texts again.

Man up and find some new ways to define yourself
The past doesn't exist anymore
youtube.com/watch?v=emHAoQGoQic

You're absolutely right sir

Story time
>be me
>be about 16-17
>been dealing with sick mother for a few years now
>should i mention she's also an alcoholic, so it's hard to tell when she's emotional because of her illness or because she's drunk, maybe even both
>sometimes find her passed out, would hear her hit the ground from my room, or notice things are too quiet, come out to find her almost looking like she wasn't breathing
>one day, she's exceptionally emotional
>try to help, she's a massive crying mess

more?

Hit me with those bad mom feels. Those are my fav

u gotta understand where it comes from. sure, going off and giving a starving haji your mre feels gud. yea, when a muj takes a shot at you and his misses....and you take him out personally it is a high like nothing you will ever feel. so your emotions are already high in this context.

now consider your days at basic and AIT it is constantly drilled into you night and day every waking moment that you are a soldier in the best fighting force on earth, you are invincible, ready to roll at a moments noticed and all that shit.

then your buddy dies. maybe another. maybe you see him on the ground and turn him over just in time to hear his death rattle and take his last mushy breath.

suddenly you're not so invincible and powerful anymore, and your entire psyche comes crashing down.

this is how (imo) a lot of my squad members got ptsd. they cant cope cuz they weren't trained to.

anyway, back on topic
>no gf right now, havent had one for 2 years
>diagnosed with adult add but dont like how the adderall makes me feel at work, so i snort them on weekends and play vidya.
>subsequently my attention to detail at work is lacking and people bitch at me.
>i smoke weed every night to sleep (medical card makes it easy) but i feel like im just passing time
>grandma and grampa are about to pass away. 26 yrs old, they are 79 and 89. which sucks cuz my uncle (their son) commited suicide just over a year ago.
>work long hours, think im getting underpaid substantially but dont wanna try applying elsewhere cuz of the drugs in my system (even tho its technically legal for me, my industry is heavily "safety" oriented and makes it easy to deny me work)
>havent had friends in years cuz i had to break away from them to escape a foolish life of selling drugs, petty crime, whore women and other foolish men looking to hurt me
>still owe an old connect money and am daily terrified of running into him and getting hurt
>dont have the balls to just call him up and pay him.

No problem
>eventually leads to her crying in her bed, asking me to cuddle with her
>knows she's a serious mess at this point
>she eventually blurts out what this whole story is about
>earlier in her marriage with my father (which had crumbled due to her illness, another reason why she's continually in a shit mood), they had flown to california. he was active duty navy at the time, the two did quite a bit of traveling.
>she had finished her period before going on the plane, and had not met up with my dad when she landed
>turns out she was raped
>doctors always told her that it was very likely she could never have kids
>turns out my father is impotent
>turns out 3 months after, she found out she was pregnant with me after an ultrasound her doctors prescribed for finding uterine tumors

this shit keeps going too guys

Holy fuck my disassociation made it hard to read your ADD style writing

>abuse
>narcissistic mother (i was not the golden child)
>angry father in his younger years
>seen a few fucked up things at a young age
I can blend in and accel at being normal, but it drains me be social
I like being having social encounters and actually crave it but when it comes down to it i have to be alone
>i'm not normal and people can see it in my body language over time... i dont like this.
>i dont like eye contact either it tells too much about a person

Listening

>she makes me swear to never tell my dad she told me
>apparently they both had the conversation about abortion
>to be honest i couldn't fucking blame them
>promise her i won't tell my dad, who now i know isn't my biological dad
I'm starting to feel a little paranoid now, because I can't say if I truly have a family history of some illnesses because I've never met my bio dad or his family. I could have strong cancer genes in me for all I know.
>years later, dad tells me mom was raped and had been struggling with depression ever since
>told me that sometimes when he picked me up late from elementary school, it was because he had went home to check on my mom to make sure she didn't kill herself
>says he even had to baker act her because he felt she was a danger to herself

Thats ruff user, it kinda set in my head what it must be like on your side off it.

Call the fucking guy and pay him plus an asshole tax for running off
Don't meet directly, drop it in his mail box or something so he doesn't fuck you up and has time to realize that you made it right
Quit the weed and your attention to detail will come back
You will feel like shit and have insomnia and no appetite for two weeks tops and then you will remember what it's like to not use a crutch to get by
I am not some teenager that read this on google I smoked for 10 years and quit and I have never felt more clear headed

fast-forward to a few months ago
>feel like a burden to a lot of people around me, especially my mother. i feel like a literal parasite
>have nothing but loving people around me, feels like a complete burden 90% of the time
>have been self-harming, nothing serious but enough to leave lasting scars
>end up going to beachside restaurants with mom and bf because she won a good lotto scratch-off ticket and wanted to treat us
>we get home after dropping bf back at his house, we had all been drinking
>remember what i said about my mom and i's mental issues
>her mood changes suddenly, i know i did something wrong, couldn't figure out what
>been drinking, act a bit irrationally
>take pocket knife that, through prior self-harm practices, i knew was a bit dull
>decide to compensate for lack of sharpmess, go hard
>end up having her drive me to the E.R. to get 9 stitches in my arm
>thinking she'll be supportive, she's gone through this before, out of anyone in my family she should be the kindest about it right?
>no. not even close. yelling, cussing, saying how stupid this was. Quietly berating me in E.R. waiting room
>makes me move to dad's house after
>makes me move back the next day because she thinks i'll be alone at his place and i'm "too fucking stupid" to be left alone
>dad has live-in gf that my mother has no idea about, can't tell mom
>go back to either be ignored or berated

Fun stuff.

Dude fuck you my buddies probably killed more people than you know, hed kill you without a second thought, but that ptsd isnt a joke.

ADHD
Autism
Depression
>diagnosed for all 3, so no "lel that's SOOO me Xd"

"boo hoo I'm bisexual" stop jerking off so much you stupid faggot.

Boo hoo they weren't too bright if they thought they were signing up for a walk in the park
I would have fun taking out some nameless towel heads that were trying to kill me

haha we are boo hoo hiveminds I swear I typed mine before I refreshed and saw yours

Poor self esteem, cause unknown, resulting in long-term underemployment

Such a edge lord

this is just entertainment

Being a bisexual man is not easy. You never truly get respect from other guys and women can sense it.

No experience with the miltary and know every little bit about it.
Teenage neckbeards the scum of society have a opionion

I lost my best friend to suicide at age 12. Found her dead body. Ever since there I never found the courage for friendship again

on b? I like the creepshot threads.

I'm 23 and it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to know what war is
I go on Kaotic daily and am completely desensitized to that at this point I have seen people die in thousands of ways and it's just another part of life
If you aren't in control of your emotions enough to compartmentalize them and move on with life that is absolutely no fault of mine

Bait?

maybe because you keep posting pics of the inside of your butthole. it's generally considered unacceptable in literally every human civilization ever. so stop posting trap pics and showing people your ass, and maybe people will start respecting you.

No, you are on the most depraved website on the open web and you don't believe that someone is not capable of having emotions toward strangers?
Are you disappointed that I'm not a carbon copy of the guy from nightcrawler?

I don't do those things. It's a question of personality. My behavior reflects my sexuality and no one wants me around.

got falsely accused of domestic violence and went to jail

Calm down

considering how nearly every gay dude keeps flaring open their butthole at people, they're probably just worried you're going to goatse them. i mean look at Sup Forums, not a single hour goes by without a dozen fags showing their flapping, loose butthole. it's fucking unacceptable and intolerable.

I totally agree. Fags don't have the same social construct as straight people. This is because women dictate what's acceptable according to thier own sexuality and personality. Fags only have other fags so they just don't care and show thier asshole to the world. I understand this and don't contribute to it because I know it's dis gusting to the vast majority of people.

has nothing to do with what women "dictates". i don't want to see some nasty dude's ass. i'm only interested in seeing the ass of a very select few women. and most people are very similar to me in that regard. they don't want people to gape their butthole as if it was a handshake.

if homosexuals want to be accepted, they shouldn't behave like some mentally deranged hobo.

Point is. They cannot act like a straight person. It's impossible.

but you can not show your butthole to absolutely everyone. it shouldn't be an obligation for homosexuals fist their ass at people.

i don't walk around and jizz women in the face.

They are going to do it anyway

>arab
>depressed
>tfw never gf
>too many fetishes
>fugly
>can socialize in rl well but not online