Has anyone here ever gotten a hooker?

Has anyone here ever gotten a hooker?
how did it go?
would you recommend it?

tell me some stories...

Other urls found in this thread:

realescort.eu/
youporn.com/watch/8015062/young-busty-girl/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Recommend. Just be safe. Read reviews and use condoms.

My neighbor is a hooker and I fuck the shit out of her every couple of weeks. I get it for free just because she thinks I care about her. She has a boyfriend and kids. He has no idea and they argue all the time.

what kind of site has a list of hookers and reviews on them?

10/10 do recommend; just don't be cheap and if you pay a lot you can even go bare

Yeah, I've been with quite a few. I live in Czech Republic so I'm sure it is different in the US or wherever. More often than not you get what you pay for. Sometimes you'll have a girl who is literally just laying there watching tv and not into it at all. Other times you get a girl who is really great. I do think depend on your country it changes a lot though.

Went to Tallinn, Estonia to a whorehouse. Was nervous as fuck and the estonian police even raided it, allthough as we got told it was only to make sure we (the tourists) were safe. Was, to say the least, interesting.

>went into brothel
>chose hooker
>fucked
Shit was cash tho, she had dem banging skills

I'll take things that never happened for 10

what should you pay on average in the US?
do you need your own place and have to host?
how do you set it up without getting in trouble?
is there a difference in hiring an independent vs an agency?

One of my first experiences was with a girl who clearly was brand new and young, and very inexperienced. She started crying at one point which turned me on more. Kept humiliating her and just treated her like trash. Best orgasm I've ever had.

Not certain on US but I think it heavily depends on the city. In major cities you can definitely pay a good amount of money for a really incredible girl. Some girls are incall (their place) or outcall (yours) or both. You can get a hotel room or just your own apartment. Most American hookers that aren't just street whores require a process to prove you are legit. I don't know exactly what you need to do though. Agency will generally be more reliable and consistent, but more expensive. Independent can be hit or miss, but usually less expensive. In my experience the best couple girls I've been with have been independents.

I do it regularly. Normally the girls advertise in the escort section of Backpage. Just check reviews to make sure she's legit and then fuck.

>Be me
>Be in the military
>Stationed overseas in a region of the country where the local women don't exactly date 'Muricans.
>Works on engines, has vast knowledge of all things lube oil related
>Go to the club LITERALLY every week, come home with a hooker.
>They literally let you do whatever you want to them.
>Bring one home one night, I want some butt.
>"You have KY"? she asks in broken english.
>"Pffffff Yes, of course *ahem* I have KY. You kidding me?"
>pokerface.gif
>idonthaveKY
>Skip the bathroom, run strait to the kitchen for anything remotely resembling lube.
>There's a jar of peanut oil.
>Slap some on my cock
>"OKAY GOOD TO GO"
>Feelsgoodman
>She did not have a good time.
>doesn't matter had sex.
I've rawdoge'd plenty of hookers. Never caught anything. Nothing wrong with them. Keeps you from getting sloppy for when you get a real girl.

Did it regularly last year. Every month basically. Had the money and a 2 year dry spell.

Was pretty nervous the first time with a hooker, but was cool after that. Payed around 70-120€, depending on time and services.

Had a few bad ones unfortunately that were just dead fish. Some crazy good looking ones I've fucked tho. Got boring after a while, just isn't the same as gf sex.

Greentext needed.
For reasons.

lets say I find a bunch of really good looking ads on backpages. How are you supposed to find out how much they cost before you are already locked into it? and how do you check if they are legit? I dont see any reviews anywhere.

>be me, 18, just graduated high school
>friends decide we should fuck hookers
>go along with it
>find some on city-name.backpage.com
>pay $300 for two of us to fuck two hookers for half an hour
>losing virginity, don't know what size condom to buy
>too small of a condom, burns dick bad
>everything hurts, can't enjoy it, can't cum
>get cucked out of $300
>go home and make a Sup Forums thread about the time I lost my virginity

Didn't get any STDs/STIs though. Saw heroin in the bathroom at the hotel it happened at.

Picked one off backpage after striking out one night in Montreal, I met her at a motel and when I got there she said to go wash my dick off in the sink, then when I came out she had put a tarp or shower curtain or something down on the bed....nuff said

Wanted to get an escort today but no good ones on my cities backpage...........

You glorious bastard, I keked.

Nursefag here. I treat whores in ER all the time. they are perfectly clean and safe. Pro tip - eat their pussies. Very flavorful.

what are they in the ER for?

0/10 fake

>in deep eastern europe for a while for work
>feel like experiencing the locals
>2am, find a place fairly close to me
>not high end but not street whores
>fuck it why not
>get there, private flat, looked decent
>one girl was brunette, pale, looked good
>pay for an hour, give the madame extra so I can do whatever
>we shower and go into the bedroom
>we kiss
>she seems very nervous and new
>dick is so hard
>she starts sucking and does a good job
>start facefucking her
>she starts to cry
>I caress her, kiss her and her cheek and forehead
>all gentle nice shit
>she starts to smile and stops crying
>put my cock back in her mouth and begin slapping her and facefucking again
>wrecking her, she starts sobbing again
>hold her head all the way down and piss in her throat
>complete mess, I let go and she just lays there coughing and crying
>I bend her over and start fucking her ass
>keep making her do A2M
>flip her over and cum on her face
>use my cock to feed it to her
>her face is covered in spit, cum, piss, runny makeup
>get dressed
>she is just laying there crying
>give her a tip that is a decent for her country
>leave and have a great nights sleep

realescort.eu/

Search their phone numbers up on google. If they dont state a price on their ads you can call and discretely ask. Dont mention sex or anything like that though

Herpes

Fuck meant for

Got pulled along with friends to a brothel to party - one of them was getting married and we gave him a present - lap dances, blowjobs, foursome.

Everyone of us got a 10/10 slut sitting on the lap the whole night while we drank and had fun and all, grinding her ass into muh dick, didnt get hard because 15 years of porn have made me non responsive to 10/10 sluts.

Didnt go into a "private room" either, buying sex is for losers, i celebrated my wizardry birthday this year but i'll never get desperate enough to pay for sex.

about as well as this haha seriously get a hooker faggots

so it wouldnt be weird to call a bunch of numbers and just say "Hey, could I get your rates?....... ok thanks, I'll call you back"

It's is time I tell you what happened to me Sup Forumsros posted it once but oh well
>Be me be 16 a year ago
>Horny as fuck teenager
>Gf is super Christian so Christian Christians look up to her,gives me the save it till marriage bs
>get a side chick she's 15 but looks 11 small waist small boobs but she wants to fuck I'm scared cuz she's so little and
>I'm black.jpg
>So dick is 7" + mom is always home
>Learn about a brothel from friends
>Brothel is called city pub gather as much info as I can about said brothel
Cont

Could you provide sauce, please?

>what should you pay on average in the US?
You can get a 'blow and go' from a street hooker for like US$40 in some cities. You can also easily pay a pornstar US$10,000 or more. Yes, it varies widely. I generally keep it to US$150-300 with the average a little over US$200. New York, LA, Boston and Chicago will cost more.

>do you need your own place and have to host?
No. "Incall"=they have a place and host.
"Outcall"=they come to you and you need your own place. Some only do incall, some only outcall and some do both.

>how do you set it up without getting in trouble?
Kek. Years of practice, my son. It is like learning a whole new language.

There are legal brothels in Nevada.

Things are much easier in places where prostitution is legal or at least not automatically criminal.

>is there a difference in hiring an independent vs an agency?

Yes. Independents get to keep everything you pay them. It is also harder for them to pretend they are someone else. Agencies take a cut and sometimes substitute providers they send out. Bait & switch as they say.

just get on a jet plane and go spend 2 weeks in pattaya. i managed to fuck over 60 in 3 weeks

Do you know how big condoms can get? This isnt even a good work of fiction

is there an actual difference between an escort and a hooker?

btw if you have never worn a condom, how do you choose a size? just try them all out?

Ok cont I'm typing on my phone gimme a break
>Plan to go in a Saturday
>Friends tell me all sort of stuff the girls do to you
>Hell yeah.jpg
>Day comes tell parents I'm going to a party
>Go to city pub enter the place the women are seated in rows they call out to me
>I'm so nervous I run back outside
>Hell no I'm not going till I get what I came for hehe "came for"
>Hi back in pick the first one I see this woman is twice my age she looks thirty
>She's tall I'm nervous I regret my choice
>Just go
>We enter her room talk about the price and she agrees turns out the price my friends told me about is wrong
>But still she agrees

freemason / jew detected

I've never gone and specifically looking for a hooker. But I did hire some "strippers" for a friend's bachelor party that ended up fucking a number of us for a little extra cash. Another time I was in DC at like 1:30 in the morning looking for a cab, and got approached by a hooker who I ended up paying $30 to blow me in an alley.

wow

They're one size fits all, unless you've got a freakishly huge or freakishly tiny dick.

its alright, if you have a history of wishkey dick then i recommend getting a boner pill for the occasion. and rubber

a condom ripped when i was fucking a hooker. i don't regret it but the child support is too much

I think freakishly tiny would be the only real reason. Have you seen how big your average condom has no trouble stretching over?

one for ameritards?

Yeah
>walking home drunk in vancouver
>spot some druggy looking native bitch
>talk to her and ask her to come home with me
>get a taxi back and fuck her
The end
Strangely it usually takes me fucking ages to cum, but I came in about 5 mins so I don't even feel I got my money's worth

not true. theres quite a lot of men who are too big or small for regular ones. source: my dick.

>how do you set it up without getting in trouble?

Film it. Now you're not technically paying for a hooker - You're making a porno, which is legal.

Better yet, if you are upfront about this when asking hookers (if you are the daredevil type who picks one up on the street - Would not recommend) then any undercover cops will say 'No' and you cannot get into trouble. Basically lead with "I'm looking to record myself having sex on video - Are you interested, and what would an hour cost?" or something.

it can be put on but it hurts a ton and cuts off circulation, so its not pleasurable at all and you get a limp dick

Tessa Fowler

But just so you know all she does is nude teasing, there's no masturbation/penetration/sex of any kind

This girl blows me for $60, swallows every drop. Seen her about 5 times. I actually think i started her down the prostituting route since she responded to an ad of mine on craiglist and then I started seeing her on Backpage a month later. The rate other guys paid was way higher

is this true?

Why go to a hooker if you could just try to hide your autism for an hour and just chat up some hot slut in a bar or night club?

>b-b-but I'm not Chad
Yeah then stop shoving food in your face and start going to the gym you lazy lardass

I'm short, I've got a ugly face, acne scars and haven't had friends in years. I still get laid every weekend, easily. It's never been that easy to get laid

Seriously if you can't get laid there must be something horrible wrong with you.

Figure out what your problems are and work on them. Stop being depressed, insecure, anxious and paranoid.

It takes effort, but a few years ago I was a permavirgin on the way to being a wizard. Now I slay 6s and 7s and got some good and loyal friends with benefits

On your cellphone you have the option to hide your caller ID - Use that before you proceed, and only use your first name if introducing yourself at all. (Or make one up)

For my Sup Forumsros asking for source:

youporn.com/watch/8015062/young-busty-girl/

She goes by the names Tessa Rich and/or Tessa Fowler

Don't waste ur money for me it's no fun unless the girls getting cause of u not money

Can confirm - This works. Of course you need a video camera of some kind but it doesn't need to be good - Just enough to use as evidence in case of trouble.

my phone?

Sure, you can get them on but it's really uncomfortable. Imagine wearing a pair of jeans that are way too small.

Aaaaand this is why I'm a virgin addict. Why hurt other people when hurting yourself is just as much fun.
I masturbated on ecstasy quite a few times the last days and I am "pretty certain" that my first sex wouldn't be as good. It wouldn't last 4 hours that's for sure.

You're basically repeating what I said.

I've seen some stills from videos where there is another person fondling her tits but that's it.

>feels bad man

no im saying its not "freakishly" its a lot of people.

Except for the part where there are regulations associated with paying people to have sex on film. Without going through the right channels, you're just filming yourself having sex with a hooker.

Virgin. You just roll the condom down until it's at the base of your dick. It'll only be to small if you dick is like 11 inches long and round like a babies arm.

I notice on backpages there are lots of average hot ones, but am i safe to assume I will be paying a lot more for ones like pic related?

I hope I'll overdose.
But 3 xtc and 2 bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes will not really be enough will it?
The best cheap/harmful ratio has speed (illegal drugs).
I'm going to do more speed. glad i didn't waste money for weed today. i should go to bed but the damn ecstasy doesn't wear off

yes...pic related

>just try to hide your autism for an hour
You really think someone with autism has the ability to not be autistic at will?

They don't look like that /thread

>Dated girl
>No money, no fucking
>Money, fucking

Girlfriend = hooker.

Newfag detected

How new r u m8?

this is bait, right?

Wouldn't recommend. I didn't feel comfortable and it felt very awkward in general. It's a bit of a turn off that you know that lots of men have been there and there is a chance she has something like an STD. No intimacy, nothing special. Didn't really like it.

twice 3rd time was free so dont count but the one time was a mexican whore house >regrets
other was some chick my brother found off craigslist
>nj
>2011-12
>me and brother go to girls house
>80$ for both of us to fuck her
>on her period
>no condom
>nut and leave
>shit was cash literally
>would try again

misdetect
is actually autist

"source: my dick."

>Too small

I know this is a dumb question but do you fuck then pay? If you apid up front she'd walk ou right? Do they ever demand to be shown the money before hand?

>Went to Tallinn, Estonia to a whorehouse. Was nervous as fuck and the estonian police even raided it, allthough as we got told it was only to make sure we (the tourists) were safe. Was, to say the least, interesting.

Where???

it changes girl to girl, they all operate differently.

Lel

Went to red light district twice, both times were more awkward then a great experience imho

Sure they're hot, but its a lot different than gf sex

In the future I would rather order escort, much more relaxing to be in your own home etc. I think

>dad went to see a hooker
>nine months later I was born

pics of your mom?

Enjoy your morals while I'm balls deep in cunt every chance I can get. Fucking idiot. You have one purpose on this earth, and you aren't even making it to the halfway point. Fuck off.

suck my star spangled cock you motherfucker

Don't be upset. In fact, you might want to hit up your MTG/DnD buddies to see what they're up to. I'm sure none of you are doing anything remotely close to getting pussy tonight.

sup /b

just got back from seeing an escort, highly recommend

You must be new here'

I have 3 neighborhood girls come see me almost every week. They tell everyone they are cleaning my house, but really they are fucking me. Good times, but my house is dirty as fuck lol.

I have started many girls down that path hahahahaha

>used to be a house cleaner
>clean this rich guys big house all the time
>never met the guy, was hired on by his wife
>come in once a month for a while
>one day, knock on the door
>the husband answers the door
>"who are you?"
>"we are the cleaners, we come every month..."
>he starts yelling to his wife
>"WTF I THOUGHT YOU HAVE BEEN CLEANING THE HOUSE. WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO AROUND HERE THEN?"
>we never go back

It was a pretty funny experience imo...

>Something about girth
Condoms will fit but they wont be comfy

Well that must have been awkward.

that job led to a lot of awkward situations. one house we showed up at, wasnt supposed to have anyone at home at the time, but we walked in and there was an orgy going on. basically one girls with about 8 duds all gang banging her. we all just freaked out and ran out.

Well shit, at least it wasn't a kidnapping.