Hello, Sup Forums

Hello, Sup Forums.

It is I, the wise one. I have returned for a second time. I will be here to answer your deepest questions you may have.

Ask, and you shall receive.

why do faggots think fapping to a trap isnt gay, just because he has boobs?

why havent you anherod yet

when will ww3 happen?

if you really are a wizard, why didn't you roll trips?

what is the secret to a really good hummus recipe??

should I go and see her despite her going out with her unreliable boyfriend?

like this?

how many popsicles does it take to get the the center of the universe's treehouse of monky faps for all my nose with a dash of salt?

should i go fuck up my homework and drink cheap beer with my room friend

apparently not

The concept of human sexuality is baffling, but I ask you to accept all choices made by man and welcome those who are different. Sexual thoughts often cloud the mind, and many fail to see things for what they truly are.

I would like to be alive to answer questions and inspire and help others.

We are on the brink of another war due to terrorism, feminism and economic disagreements. I cannot say for certain, but I can tell you it has already been planned--but not executed--many times over the last 6 years.

A man like me is not concerned with numbers as much as you.

Don't water it down with too much lemon juice, and make sure to use a generous amount of cumin for that extra kick.

See how it turns out over the next few months. If her boyfriend is truly unreliable, he will be gone by Christmas. Try and get close to her and gain her trust so she sees you as someone to confide in, this will most likely make her want you should she split up with her boyfriend. Be careful though, don't make her boyfriend jealous.

How old are you?

As many popsicles as you want, user.

Moments shared with your friends and loved ones will be remembered for a long time. Whether or not George Orwell released the most controversial book of the 1900s may not.

op is there a god?

Sorry to bother with a relatively long post, but I quite like a girl, though I can't see her as often as I'd like cuz of distance and shit. However, we both want to see each other. Or, at least, I think she wants to me, though I'm not sure. And whenever I ask her out, she seems to be busy with something, though she has asked me if I was doing something during some recent day she had open (I was busy). You seem like a smart guy OP. Any advice?

My throat will go back to normal after a short treatment period, right?

Okay grand wizard, challenge has been accepted. I'm young boy from small town and I like this girl. Hear me out ok. She doesn't live in the same state and I'm getting my license soon. She lives about an hour away. She's starting to feel even more distant than before. See she is a year younger than me and she does stuff I wouldn't think of doing like drugs drinking smoking. It's not that I'm a faggot but I fell in love with her a l long time ago before she did this and we're both really alike and have a lot of the same interests like memes racism and other things. She's starting to reply less and less and it's getting hard to talk to her. I've been working weekends for 20 dollars an hour to go on dates when I get my license. I just feel like she doesn't like me. I take no shame in loving her but not the rest really. Am I doing something wrong? Should I put everything I have into her? I feel like she's the only reason I'm living and the only reason I want to keep living but I just don't know if it's worth everything I do. Should she be the one I spend the rest of my life with?

You're a beta fag. I'm not OP, but still you're a beta fag for turning her down and not inviting her to do something

Why does my neighbor act like she wants to fuck and then when it happens we totally ignore each other and she shows disinterest to fuck again just to repeat like a month later? its been going on for 3 years. Also are we going to fuck this weekend?

If there is a god, what's his name?

As old as the universe itself.

The only god is the god you find in yourself. As for an external deity that created the universe, or anything you've read in a book such as the Bible or Koran, no.

Take it slow, don't seem to eager to meet her or she will find you annoying over time. Instead, seem interested when she wants to talk and don't reply too quickly. Girls tend to enjoy chasing after a guy and wanting *him* to like *her*, not the other way around. Be nice to her when you talk, don't ignore her and treat her badly. And, if you do meet up, try taking her somewhere fun like a theme park or to see a scary movie. She will associate feelings of thrill and a fast heartbeat with you, making her subconsciously more attracted to you.

Yes, it will be fine. Just don't smoke or do anything damaging to yourself.

Let yourself loosen up, you seem to be too focused on your getting license and meeting her. That should not be your end goal. Find a hobby or indulge yourself in something else in case it falls apart. Hype her up, tell her you can meet soon and make her excited for you. Don't let her wait too long. There's nothing worse than being let down by someone you love.

What will the next update for the universe have?

atman

Is my penis long enough ?

I'm 90% sure I have early onset schizophrenia. Kms?

if i chop off my dick will i grow a new one?

How do I cope with my waifu not being real?

Oh wise one. I have a question old as time it's self.
Why doesn't sweetcorn digest? Why do my turds look like they've been rolled through yellow confetti?

I've met her once before with her friends. She showed up high but that's not the point. I'm probably going to get my license as well as a drum set in December for Christmas. And my dad's car. But right now I just need to know if she even likes me because frankly she acts like she doesn't. What I need to know is if she's the one I should spend my life with

I command you to go back to the pit of hell from where you came in the mighty name of JESUS CHRIST
the power of JESUS CHRIST COMPELS YOU leave and never return in THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST BE GONE NOW!!

woah mister. coming on a little strong there. spending life with? i would run the fuck away too.

You know girls get their weed for free from fucking the dealer right? its like law.

She spent 100 on it so I don't know about that

Dues vult my Sup Forumsrother all heretics must die!!!

Will feminists stop thinking there are more than 2 genders?

will I get some weed today?

see
Give her some space, man. Just because you both like the same memes and hate niggers doesn't mean she is the one for you.

I'm not asking shit. Tell me something I don't know that'll be relevant to me

Am I the lord and savior of the universe, and is my power level over 9000?

Holy shit this couldve been trips doe

Not wiznon but I can tell you if she's into getting wasted, she's gonna want a guy who does the same thing.

>I've met her once before with her friends

>What I need to know is if she's the one I should spend my life with

I'm an 18 year old virgin. Should I try and get pussy?

Alter, beschreibe mir den Weg zum Glück, heile!

Dubs say otherwise

Oh great and powerful, why is Sup Forums full of horny 16 year olds?

Is there something like a Haven and Hell, or only one unified Afterlife where everyone ends up regardless of life?

Because the great wizards have abandoned us, and so without their guidance and protection Sup Forums has lost its way and fallen from greatness.

when will andy chavez die?

Better graphics.

Yes, it's perfect for penetration in both the missionary and reverse cowgirl positions. If you feel like you can't satisfy someone enough, feel free to experiment with toys and your fingers.

See someone about it. You could just be paranoid. People can get treatment for schizophrenia. If you feel like you can't live any longer with your condition after your diagnosis, I'll be waiting for you on the other side.

Sorry, it's a negative from me.

Be more sociable in real life and over time you will develop the skills to talk to women and eventually get a real girlfriend.

Ah, my good friend, only the inside of sweetcorn--which is made of pure starch--is digested, whilst the outer shell is not.

Hello, nice to see you back in this thread. I enjoyed our discussion last time.

There's no harm in asking. If this advice helps at all: don't come off too strong. The whole "spend my life with" vibe is unappealing to some.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity
–Albert Einstein.

You can do anything you put your mind to! Leave some for the rest of us though.

As you wish. You should invest in jazz musicians Beegie Adair's 2010 album "Into Somethin'." It will come in handy very soon.

Yes, if you so wish. It may be easy or hard, but it will be worth it if that's what you really desire at this point in your life.

Legend says the attraction of 18+ websites to people younger than 18 is stronger than the force of a neodymium magnet. This is also why this is my second and last return to this place.

A version of afterlife does exist, yes. It is nothing like you've been told in church.

Dear all-knowing OP,

Considering all the things I've done, I'm gonna go to hell if there is one. However, I feel no remorse. I have no regret, and I don't care what it all meant to the universe.

What is hell like?

Wise One, how do I attract females?

>get a real girlfriend.
Yeah, sure, whatever buddy.

When you fuck him so hard his intestines fall out his ass

I don't know it is just i can't make myself feel unhappy when I'm in her metaphoric presence. I can't feel happy when I'm not and I can't feel bad when I am. Nothing else is really like thag for me and she makes me think my life is worth living. All of this is stupid? Yes. But I don't want to go on without her. Just because you're a Sup Forumsro doesn't mean you can't have a heart or feelings. If you have a refutal to that statement I know somewhere where you can stick it. Don't lie to yourself and the rest of us when you oppose something you can't have (love).

>Better graphics.
Fuck I need to upgrade my eye hardware AGAIN. Thanks god, you fucking faggot.

...

Okay wise one, what would the Third Reich think about blonde haired blue eyed elves?

Because on one hand, aryan as fuck and super healthy, but on the other hand, they'll a little bit literally not human.

answer this one

And also I've already spilt the spending the rest of my life thing because I told someone else and they told her. I just feel like I'm not good enough for her in almost every way

What number am I thinking of? Correct first time and I'll give you a quid in PayPal or steam.

I read that the guy was sexually molested when he was a kid.

thats probably why she is distancing. Give her space. Go do some shit you enjoy, she is. you needy fuck

Or do wizards not use steam? Are wizards console fags?

This is the only question I shall answer. Answers related to the mortality of others are not ones I prefer to answer, they tend to evoke strong reactions.

Hell does not exist. As I've previously mentioned, a version of afterlife does exist, but it is completely incomprehensible to the average human mind. You will have to wait and see. As for your remorse and regret, or lack thereof, you'd be happy to know morality is a human construct.

With your scent.

She has something going on in the background that she wants to keep hidden from you. No, but you two will fuck next weekend.

You lost me at elves.

I know, user. I know.

Telling me to guess your number and offering me an incentive of payment implies there's a chance I can get it wrong, and therefore I would not be an all-wise one. I am not concerned about material wealth. I'm going to have to decline, user.

Wizards are chill. We use whatever is lying around the office.

>“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity
>–Albert Einstein.
… and I'm not sure about the universe.”

Do 30 year and older virgins receive magical powers?

OP, does a woman named Morgan love me?

A kurwa jak pogoda jutro?

Answer my original question or I'll blow your wizard fag office up with my niggers from Saudi

Honest question. How old are you?
You remind me of me when I was a junior in high school. Always worrying too much about girls and trying to find one to keep my dick licked. But even I wasn't big enough of a faggot to openly say that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

You quite possibly already ruined your chances with her because you are being too pushy. Give her some breathing space and stop texting her for a while. Let your emotions calm down and then, if you still want to, try talking to her again at a later time.

My dad died three days ago.

In a way he was just about a perfect father. Raised me up right, taught me to work hard, play it smart, how to hunt and fish, how to work a wrench.

But he's dead, and I'm not even that sad.

When I found out I pulled over, called my college to drop out and got another job because I know the family will need the extra money now that our primary provider is dead.

I don't know, maybe the sadness will come later, but I can almost hear him telling me to just move on, make sure the family is taken care of, to just stay strong for them, but at the same time I kind of feel like shit because my own father is dead and I barely shed a tear.

How do you think OP landed this job?

>You lost me at elves.
What kind of wiseman are you if you can't even answer a basic hypothetical?

The funny thing is that I'm not even messaging her. I'm worrying about this on my own. She says she's too lazy to reply and I'm ok with that for the time being. I know it sounds shady but I'm ok with it even if it is a lie. If it's not that's OK too because I can work that out somehow. I used to make promises that I wouldn't hurt myself again but I never kept them and I kept doing it and they knew. I stopped because I threw away what I used to do it with. I'm really wondering when things are going to get back on track and take shape.

Why is it that our politicians are all sociopaths?

I know it's also weird but I'm not trying to get my dick sucked or some dumb shit like that I'm 15 3/4. I don't care about lesex right now because I can take care of that myself I have two perfectly working hands after all.

Maybe he did the opposite, and fucked a thousand virgins. I better ask now than wait till I am thirty.

Delete this if you want to stay.

You don't need to be worrying about this shit right now, man.

How many people do i need to slaughter to gain immortality?

>I'm 15
>Obligatory scream for MOOOOOOODS

Sadly not, sorry user!

Pewnie.

Stay strong. He'd want you to. You're a very smart man for putting your family first, which is what he did. He has influenced you in many ways. Teach your children to become the father he was.

By your standards, not a very good one.

To put it simply, power corrupts. And power attracts. Power attracts undesirables.

Immortality is not gained for merciless killing, but through merciless wisdom.

This is my final reply. I must go now. I will let this thread either de-rail or 404. Anyone else that claims to be me (OP) is lying. Thank you for letting me answer your questions, everyone. I will not be returning. I wish you all safe and happy lives.

Are you opposed to people changing gender?

The reason I'm worrying about this is because of my own life too. She's why I want to live okay. I don't see myself in the future as anything more than measly income and a small apartment that I can't even afford. The one thing I've wanted in life since I was really really little like 5 or 6 was love. I know this is the only chance I have

Will things work out for me ?
Like is it worth it ?

Your work is done here my friend.

Let another take up the mantle of your responsibility.

what no no how the fuck is merciless wisdom. i need to live forever

The body is a physical vessel. It has value, but the mind and soul are the being.
That is for you to decide. In the end, your choice will be the truth.
None of us will live forever. All things end. Rid yourself of the fear of death, and you destroy it.

How can an 18 year old straight twink find a GF?

Like, I do fine with girls as friends, but I always get delegated to "close gay friend" status because I'm really flamboyant and take too much pride in my appearance. And while I'd probably do fine if I was gay, the thing is... I'm not.

thats his human stupidity talking.

What's it like being dead?

What will I experience in death?

Why won't I die naturally in my sleep?

Should I ask her about what she has going on in the background? I don't really care what the outcome is, but I would really like a stable fuck buddy before i leave for basic training. Tired of playing games just to get some head or blue balls. I'm actually curious.

>I know this is the only chance I have
For fuck's sake your 15. (Which btw this is a 18+ site) You still have a lot of life ahead of you. Take my advice and forget about her. It may not be easy to do, but you'll be happier when you do. Worry about yourself, school, then upon graduation worry about work and college. Once you've done that, then you should look for the perfect girl for you. That way when you do find a girl you like, you'll be able to support her with a good job and a good living.

>She's why I want to live
Well you better find another reason to live.
High School crushes are rarely ever going to be the girl you spend the rest of your life with. Forget about her and move on with your life. Eventually when you're older you'll look back and laugh at how stupid you're acting.

Is teleportation possible?

I cannot be certain given the limited information you have provided me with, but I suspect the problem is with assumptions: yours and theirs.

They look at you and assume from your dress and demeanor that you prefer the romantic company of other men. You look at them and assume they will somehow know you are not a homosexual, though you take no actions to change that assumption.

The solution is to enlighten them to how you really are: through actions and words, leave them with no doubt of your interest.
Think back to the time before you were born. Death is much the same.

Enter a valid tar command on the first try, no googling.

Why do i deserve better?