Walk in store

>walk in store
>see this
>react how?

Me: "Are you looking for your ass?, me too"

there's a great deal on cilantro if you know what i mean

kek

...

Take carrots and go out

"Excuse me miss, why does your basket appear to be poorly photoshopped?"

I don't know, maybe tell her to fucking move because I want some broccoli?

Jack Bauer will save us all

"uh e-excuse me"
>she can't hear me due to headphones
>i speak up a bit
"excuse m-me... Miss Swift?"
>she notices me and pulls out one ear bud
>"Oh hi"
"hi im big - im a b-big fan i, uh, you like broccoli huh?"
>"uh what? yeah I'm buying broccoli"
"oh cool. sorry to, uh, b-bother you"
>i briskly walk away, my heart pounding

Ask to speak to the manager.
Clearly there are shoplifters in the store, and they already robbed that lady's ass.

immediately proceed to the snacks aisle

Ripping that shitty sticker off her basket

Turn 360 degrees and walk away.

J

Get those shorts down, bender her over and work a cucumber up into that pussy

Fondle those beautiful tittays too

>shit... I'm ruining another video clip shooting
>what happened to my spaghettis that were in my pocket?

summerfag huh? youd walk right into her idiot.

fuck me im taking the b8.

an hero, newfag.

kek

no he wouldn't
you forgot about the 4th dimension: time

I guess we spot the newfag

paintshop

Such fucking cringe I'm sure this would happen

Observe and then masturbate about it later.

similar thinking, might try a 720 if i get the dubs

nice

time isn't a dimension you blithering idiot

checked

keep walking

This is some metab8

lel
dunning kruger effect all over the room...

its like whos trolling who, you know? does anyone know theyre being retarded, do they all know? its a mystery!

The german words for "enslave me you pure milky demon"

> hey bby wunna fuk?
>i would tap dat ass like i did with shaniqua

step into a freezer
unzip pants
and start masturbating furiously, next to frozen peas

all anyone does on here is troll the trolls its like one big circle jerk

Tomorrow at about 11am I should be shopping in Lidl, Chichester. If any faggot is near the chiller cabinet I'll be doing several 720's for your amusement.

The chiller cabinet is at the far end of the first aisle, it has mushrooms and grapes and other chilled things. Near that cabinet is a big pile of cooking oils - vegetable, olive etc.

Pull down her pants, lock my lips around her ass hole and begin to touge duck her shit hole. Ones that's nice and sloppy I would jam her shot hole with my throbbing hard cock, packing her shit ever tighter, squeezing her tiny skinny hips and with a hand full of her flat perfect Brest. She would shit out my cock and cum

jokes on you i was only pretending to be retarded

>If no one else is bothering her, approach her and introduce myself.
>Spiel about how I don't want to bother her, but couldn't ignore this opportunity/what are the odds, i'm a huge fan, spill some spaghetts, etc...
>Say how you know it's a total long shot and how busy she must be, but if she has free time while she's in town she should check out this venue that's really neat and has a very intimate and often talented open mic night.
>Meet her at open mic night, listen to local performers, some good some bad
>Have a few drinks
>She is loving it, a great break from her normal routine
>No one is bothering her since it is a low key place and fairly dark
>Suggest another local place near by
>Makes some of the best drinks I've ever had, great environment, again kinda hidden hole in the wall
>Chat until bar close after grabbing a night cap
>we go to her hotel room
>sex.jpg
>Live happily ever after as stay at home dude just cooking, gaming, playing music, working out, and having sex with t-swift.

A btard can dream can't he.

"Hey, remember that time Kanye's stupid ass whore of a wife absolutely demolished you?"

A mystery worthy of the great Shercock Holmes and his faithful companion Twatson. They comb through cyberspace sniffing out newfags and dank memes. There hasn't been a case they haven't cracked, and I doubt they'll stop now.

>Walks in
>Sees that ass
>ohthatass.jpg
>Walks towards that ass
>Immedietly slaps the shit outta that ass
>She turns around with a look of cold, unending thirst for blood
>realized this is the end
>Sprints away before bitchmode9000 engages
>Suddenly several feminists appear out of nowhere
>they have tazers and pepper spray in hand
>realizes there's no way out
>fuckit.jpg
>Charges into the gaggle of feminists
>Is tazed to shit
>several cups of pepper spray is sprayed into eyes
>Femmecops intervene to arrest me
>I turn back to look at the woman with the slapped ass
>it was worth it

kill yourself you pathetic faggot

I don't care for celebs. I'd keep walking.

I live in los angeles so shit like this isnt common pleb, keep walking

International hero.

saying the word cringe unironically is literally fucking "cringier" than anything you could call cringe, since the word has been taken up by franku-fags and become a token of bandwagon humor

Kill bodyguards. Kidnap. Rape vigorously and repeatedly. Torture. Brutally sodomize. Murder. Eat dinner. Go to bed.

Did her ass divide by zero? Where it at?

Fart, and the proceed to bang her thin half-ass.

Ask her to stand aside so i can grab a dozen baby bok choy.

Ouch man, that hurt my feelings. Guess I can't have dreams.

/thread

nah man i will rape her 100000 times before doing the last parts

Damnnnn I love bok choy, stirfry is the bomb. Just made some tonight actually.

>Rape

Hey.

Loves a game or whatever. Wanna play?
wit muh dik?

ask to lick her toes and if can suck the shit from her ass.

We all die someday friendo.

"If you continue to crane your neck, it might stay like that"

I would commend her for not being an American Shart In Mart.

>Wan sum fugg?

...

...

this.

omg, lol.

Why did you photos hop a walmart logo on the basket

Me slowly buckle down.
Place my hat on a log.
Unfold the Spas 12
She is still starring at the vegetables.
I take aim.
Suddenly two of her fellow velociraptors jump from the Greenery, clawing at my face.
Clever girl.