>be me
>campus security at a college known for extensive Greek life
>get a report of indecent activity in a parking lot
>get there and see three beefy frat bros hazing a crying pale naked guy
>he's pounding a fleshlight inserted into the tailpipe of a Honda Accord, tears streaming down his face
>seriously, crying so hard
>he pulls out and squirts on the bumper
>frat bros see me and run off leaving naked guy behind
>I give him a towel, sympathize with him, try to get some info from him
>he says he was being hazed, that he was coerced into having sex with his own car
>something's off about him
>dude keeps mentioning how small his penis is (it wasn't huge, but I wouldn't call it small)
>keeps "accidentally" dropping the towel to reveal a semi-boner
>he's clearly enjoying this, like he's into public humiliation or some kinky shit like that
>I press him on it and the truth eventually comes out
>this wasn't a hazing
>he wasn't brought to that parking lot against his will
>he came on his own Accord
Be me
3/10
i fuckin read this whole thing for a shitty punch line this is my note im done fuck this world time to die
Get. Out.
7/10 for the punch line.
2/10 for the execution.
Made me chuckle.
Fuck all of you, that shit was worth the read and funny af
This. Get the fuck out of here OP you fucking black ass nigger.
Also
>chekt
you at uiuc?
Sent from my Android phone
End your life right after I end mine.
ok you got me OP
Nice one
4/10
I loll'd man. I loll'd. Good game, good game.
Sure, we're ALL wrong. You're the only one who knows what funny is. Way too much build up for a lame pun.
4/10
Poor man's version of the Don't Stop Believing greentext
FYI, the expression is "came OF his own accord".
6/10
someone actually wrote this shit? why the fuck would someone ever feel okay about posting this?
somebody please stop this before it becomes a copypasta
Yes, of all the things wrong with this post, that's the one that needed to be pointed out. Good job.
This, but it made me smirk slightly so it was worth the read
not bad 6/10
Pretty sure this is one of those things where the joke is on the reader.
That makes it funny.
At least it wasn't a tree-fiddy or walk the dinosaur.
I read it.