ITT: Things you think only you do
>can't sleep without the sheet over my ear and feets under it
>Before I leave my house, I have to wash my hands in case I eat something with my bare hands
>neighbour can see through my window when he's upstairs. I think he often sees me fapping.
>run a catheter up my urethra, drain out all the piss, then fill my bladder to the breaking point with jizz lube
>can't sleep without the sheet over my ear and feets under it
Ikr, sleeping without a blanket/quilt feels fucking weird now, & it has.to be over my ears or I think a spider or some shit will crawl in.
Put miniature marshmallows is the freezer. I like frozen marshmallows
>in case I eat something with my bare hands
nigger, start carrying antibacterial hand cleanser with you
Thought I'm the only autist doing this
>think I'm severely retarded to the point where I see the world in completely warped way separate from anyone else and everyone else is hiding it from me, covering it up, telling me I'm witty or smart or that I have a cynical view of the world in a way that reflects intelligence
Holy shit I'm losing my fucking mind. I haven't had social contact outside of my family and the internet in a FUCKING year.
Could this cause me to lose my mind Sup Forums? The other day I started hearing the door next to my room slam. The problem is that no one was home, when I went to investigate the incident there was no one.
I thought it could've been a draft of air or something so I called my dad, he left his door closed. That means it would've had to open and close once more.
>I cry because of how alone I feel sometimes
>wipe my ass both directions several times, folding the paper each time, until it's completely white
>take my shoes off when I enter the dorm/suite and put the shoes on a plastic bag on the floor
>workout 6 days a week
>eat pic related as a snack
>actually not care at all about sports
>wrap my dick in rolled up cotton and cloth tape before leaving each day
>>wrap my dick in rolled up cotton and cloth tape before leaving each day
Why? WHYYY?
Glad I'm not the only one that sleeps with just a sheet, can't have it any further up than my neck or I get the thought that I'm going to suffocate myself in my sleep.
>be underage on Sup Forums
this claim is invalid since edgy ledditors or whatever the fuck browse this autistic website
You eat the commie flag... as a snack?
>wipe my ass both directions several times, folding the paper each time, until it's completely white
That's normal.
I don't do that but it sounds good
From February to late-July of this year, I had very serious dick-psoriasis. The skin was (and kind of still is) very sensitive, and would 'leak' plasma and stick to the underwear. Skin breaks were common and plentiful. Just to put on a pair of pants and walk, I needed to wear something around the dick to make sure it stopped happening.
Oh yeah, I mean to do Harvest Snacks snap-peas as the pic. Sorry.
I dunno, most people just do it once or twice in only one direction.
Go outside
posted these a few times but no-one else has admitted to doing these yet.
>poop into a tissue on my hand and lower it into the water so it doesn't splash
>also put the tissue over my butthole when i'm beginning to shit so it muffles accidental farts and no-one hears
yes i wash my hands thoroughly
>smell dishes, spoons and forks before I use them to eat.
>only eat at home.
>only eat what I cooked for myself.
>if somebody else is cooking I have to watch him/her cook or I will not eat food.
>ninja-shits
But why?
I finger my asshole clean.
neither underage nor newfag. here since 2010
have a good meal and go to sleep.
>clean up after myself at the gym.
>Think indian women are hot.
>think "milfs" are disgusting.
>talk to myself in the shower.
>Jaw clicks loudly when i chew.
>fart really loud in my sleep.
>don't care about sports.
>look for porn from the late 90s and early 00s.
Pic related. I want her name , and every photoshoot she's ever done.
i hate other people hearing it. my bedroom is right next to the toilet and my whole life i've had to listen to my whole family piss and shit. not a burden i want to put on anyone else.
also i can only ever shit in my own house comfortably. when i was at uni it was hell, i literally didn't shit for a week, eventually got the courage to shit in a sainsburys public toilet when no-one was there, gave myself a haemorrhoid. that was the only place i could shit the whole time at uni, even though there was a toilet a few steps from my room .
Flush the toilet mid-stream and then pee really hard to try and finish peeing before the toilet finishes flushing.
Either I have schizophrenia or I'm retarded.
I did pretty well in school so I really don't think I'm retarded.
>my ears tense in public to the point they get sore
I'm alright with some Indian women.
Who doesn't fart loudly in their sleep?
Who doesn't talk to themselves occasionally? I mean as long as you realize you're talking to yourself and not something that isn't there you're okay.
For a second I thought there was a bright yellow pedo bear waving hi or something over her left shoulder. I need sleep
i prefer eminems newer stuff
toliet school highscore status
Mmm... benzalkonium chloride... delicious.
you know how sometimes when one yaws ones inner ear rumbles, i can do that manually
I still watch anime over the age of 25. I also make sure to take in at least 1 episode of Star Trek each night before bed.
So most people don't wipe until their asshole is clean?
I don't like to shit in other people's toilets either.
I piss in public toilets all the time, I've even fapped in a park bathroom before.
Not really, no. They think a few times in one direction is good enough, oblivious to the fact that they have a cluster of shit right wherever they stopped.
Suicide is the only solution.
Exactly
It's disgusting but that's the way it is
>one of the many reasons I will never get a girlfriend
Fucking kek, sucks to be you. Dick Psoriasis Man!
Dick Psoriasis Man! Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Neither! I wear several socks on my dick because of the sores and weeping, confused citizen.
You know what DPM, just go.
But if I die now, I'll miss the next seasons of my favorite anime.
You've done a shit survey?
I'm pretty sure most people manage to wipe their ass satisfactorily.
Wash my ass after a shit.
If you got shit on your hands, arms, legs, face, etc., you wouldn't just "wipe it with paper", you'd wash it.
Asshole is no different.
Dubs of bidet truth.
I tried a sock for a while, but it turned out to be a bad idea because of the 'frillies' inside the sock. Even the outside of the socks are pretty rough.
Just imagine your dick splitting open every time you get an erection.
You can just put a few pieces of paper into the bowl before you shit
That's what I do
No splash and no shittrails in the toilet
I hate my shit splashing too . But I do something much more reasonable. .. put some fucking tissue into the toilet before shitting.... the shit lands on the tissue and is silent...
yeah i can fap, used to always bust a nut in in the London Euston station toilets after a 3 hour train ride thinking of how i'd fuck any hot sluts i'd see
related: i figured out the cure to travel sickness, just get a boner and stay horny the whole journey. it hasn't failed me once.
I personally use some paper first and then clean it with water and rub with my finger
you have to use a lot for it to be effective, one bomb and the cushion is sunk
I think most people can
You'd be surprised. I used to think people didn't spit indoors, but then I started going to college stateside....
>Buy an Antman tin popcorn bucket , Aloevera tissues & drape the tissues over the head of my penis then masturbate and throw the tissue soiled with semen into the Antman popcorn bucket , empty contents of the popcorn bucket each morning into the toilet , take a piss on the tissues and semen , flush and then shower.
That's fuckin weird. But I'm gonna try it.
I can sleep after doing 1g of cocaine.
I talk to myself almost all the time, laughing at my own jokes and arguing with myself. It's like another person lives in my brain and dislike things that i like. Also, after wiping my ass, I check if it's clean with my finger, then smell it.
I fap to vanilla porn
That's discusting and you should die.
what in the fuck, are you me?
Do this too
Everything else would be disgusting
Same
>I fap to every girl I meet that is even remotely attractive.
>I like to scrap off sweat off my balls and sniff the sweat
>Sniff toenail clippings
>After I take a shower I pinch as many nose hairs as I can and pluck them all at once
>Make sure my asshole is squeeky clean when i shower. I spend more time cleaning my asshole than the rest of the showering time
Yeah , some indian women ,specifically if they have a dash of Anglo in them , can be fucking amazingly attractive.
I generally only take a shit before I shower. That way, I can finger my butthole completely clean with no worries
There's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't obsess over it like weaboos do. The fucking faggots in this board are so obsessed with being adults that I believe they must be really insecure about their own adulthood
Same
I can't sleep without taking a sleeping pill an hour ahead of time, because a former roommate and his gf used to keep me up all night (often waking me up as I slept) with their nightly fuck-sessions. I have become dependent on these pills.
I cum when I'm like half hard and just rub my dick under my shorts instead of jerking off.
Learn how to spell , I may take your advice into consideration.
>actually not care at all about sports
Nice dubs
Same here. Also, I hate competing in any fashion.
Trips command your death
You monster! That's disgusting!
A pack of toilet paper lasts me for over a month and it's better then cleaning the toilet
>toilet brushs are disgusting
When I have to clean the toilet I screw off the shower head and use the shower as high pressure cleaner
Yeah. I'm not as vocal about my hobbies/anime-watching as I used to be. I didn't even attend a certain convention that came to my town this weekend.
Enjoy your UTI
i do all of these except the nose hair thing and obsessive asshole cleansing.
ball stank is the best stank
In any fashion including friendly? Like just a board game or something?
fellow psoriasis mate, I have it on my dick as well now, not that severe though.. and just the glans (HEY IS THAT AN STD user, NO IT'S NOT)
and basically all the haired spots on my head
fml
Football season just started, too. Get ready for people foaming at the mouth over teams, buying jerseys, and putting on all that weight they lost over the summer with "tailgating parties" and get-togethers.
>After I take a shower I pinch as many nose hairs as I can and pluck them all at once
Ouch what the fuck dude
I wrap my foreskin over my japs eye to catch my cum when i masturbate, I then walk to the bin and release
dude. just try my method, it's easy and silent. once you get past the whole holding your shit through a few layers of tissue it's really comfy to do and keeps the bowl clean
>have legit misophonia; get triggered by people breathing out through their nose as they drink from a cup
I can't eat around kids in a quiet setting.
Sounds pretty average to me.
Get a tube of Mometasone Furoate Cream USP: 0.1%, and apply it 3-4 times a day for 4 days. It should clear up.
>I hate going outside
>Hate people overall
>Humans are disgusting
>I'm a human
>mfw
I've fucked cow pies.
You will make a girl really happy
chin up lads
..because regular tissues are too abrasive on your penis & aloevera as well as being smoother on your skin , it provides a strengthened tissue.
as an extra, you can mummify your shit in toilet paper and drop it in while chanting "tu-ten-kha-mun"
Only quints can kill me.
Nah. At my age (27), everyone's gushing over shows like Empire and spending more time with kids/married life than watching anime.
No ffs
>disgusting
cortisone
no ty
Meh, it could be worse. My wife also doesn't care about sports, and I work with engineers in Vermont.
I cried in my dream last night
Apparently I really miss someone I haven't talked to in a year
my wiener is big but i cum very easily and dont get hard all the way
plus I've had cortisone creams before, don't help shit
only light-therapy really helps me
schizophrenia is gods gift, most people have to pay for such a thing.