Sup Forums I am refereeing in a soccer tournament this weekend, how can I subtly fuck up the games?

Sup Forums I am refereeing in a soccer tournament this weekend, how can I subtly fuck up the games?

During any breaks you have, sit on the sideline with the parents and scream ridiculous shit at the referee in the middle.

I used to do that when I refereed. My friend would be in the center and I would yell CORNER KICK REF when it went out at midfield, or screaming for a penalty for fouls in the middle of the field, or even HANDBALL REF when the goakeeper picked it up

Holy shit parents got mad at me

only give yellow cards to people whose first or last name begin with A

Rule against your linesman most of the time for the bants.

Dont let teams take quick free kicks always blow your whistle and say you werent looking

Always give penultys

Stay within active areas and always look to get between the player about to recieve the ball for bants

Whenever someone gets mad at you book them

Give red card to a heavy foul in the first 15 minutes

You would be actually following the rules and everybody is gonna lose their shit since almost no ref does it

Give penalties for obvious dives, and whenever there is an actual foul, give that player a yellow card for diving.

Depending on the result you either give 0 min extra time or you give 6 minutes. If the local team needs more time you give 0 and if the away team needs more time then you give 6.

this

...

isn't it the ref that has to wait for the player to be off until he can continue play?

Let 1 team come off the line in pens but call it for the other

Give a yellow card to everyone who talks back at you. Also, help out whichever team is winning so that it ends 10 - 0 for the lulz

make the matches about you: automatic cards for any fouls committed or challenging your authority; stay around the box and block some players/create chances for opponents; don't play the advantage, regardless if it leads to a goal scoring opportunity; take your time blowing the whistle to begin play

over/under call offside

that alone is enough

if you're feeling cheeky, waste a lot of time and give 0 extra time

Heavily favor one side in the first half and the other side in the second half. Gotta confuse everyone, right babe?

Oh man. Last weekend I did the old "throw flag up for an instant and pull it back down again" with offside because a dude came from outta nowhere at the last second

Holy shit the coach on the other side of the field was mad. He was jumping up and down screaming and I was just like "lol oops"

Then the parents were heckling me about it and I walked over at halftime and handed the biggest screamer my flag and uniform and asked her to get up and finish the game for me and she cowered in her seat

Lel do you want to get an assbeating because that is an easy way to do it

so much this, you get to make them mad AND be right, which makes them even madder

>things that never happened

No cards. Let them tear each other to pieces.

but if the ref makes a mistake, what do the rules say about how to handle the mistake? it's an interesting question

>subtly

invert throw-ins and corners/goalkicks.

everyone will get mad af

>That last question

I say NO to black men, desu. Easiest YATR ever.

because he doesn't want to get caught. if he's right though, doesn't have to worry about it

this is a good one as well.
you could also not give fouls and just give cards to people complaining about you not giving any fouls

The only way for a referee to "fix" any mistake he makes is basically that he can rescind/change a yellow or red card before the next restart.


I mean technically the referee can call something and if the assistant sees different he can call him over, but there's no real "procedure" for it, we're kind of on our own.

One step better, do absolutely NOTHING in the game. Just jog around and watch. Never call anything, no whistles, no cards, but make it look like you're watching and let them do it anyways.

Don't call any fouls whatsoever. Just let the players do whatever they want to each other.

So much this. Once they realise no cards are coming they'll only get madder as time goes on and destroy each other even harder.

I was doing a game a few years ago and the referee gave out I think 7 yellow cards in the first half. It was a team of white kids vs a team of mexican kids, like 18 years old (this always happens in games with mexicans)

After halftime, within the first minute he gave out another yellow card, the 8th total, and literally stopped the game and announced to everyone on the field that he was done giving out yellow cards and walked over to me and handed me his yellow card, so he was doing the rest of the game giving out only either basic fouls or red cards.

Was pretty cool. I don't think he gave out any more fouls the rest of the game because the players were terrified.

practically impossible

The funniest thing when this happens is when play starts getting a little out of hand and fans/coaches start yelling REF YOU'RE LOSING CONTROL OF THE GAME, so then when you decide to go apeshit and call every single touch as a foul, then they scream at you for not letting the players play

Has happened to me a few times. I have had both coaches scream it at me, so in the second half there was basically no flow to the game. Every 45 seconds to a minute I was blowing the whistle for trifling fouls. They come to me after the game screaming at me how I ruined the game and I just said "Did I lose control of it?" and they were furious

Suck one of the players dicks right on the field. It'll be hilarious.

careful user don't get beheaded ;)

>americans literally got mental problems

When you do the pre kick off boot check, send a payer off saying his sprogs are too sharp. Bonus points if you can figure out who their best player is and do it to him

Don't call anything. Let them do whatever. If one of the players comes over to you and bitches, throw him out of the game and make a big scene of it.

>asia-pacific region flag

Plot twist players get mad and shoot the ref user

It's not brazil user. There not going to behead the reff

>t. FIFA ref in Rio

Bad use of the greentext

Dont give out any cards and only call like 50% of the fouls, then, when you see the players start to play rougher cause they know you wont call shit, red card them.

this

He said shoot the ref

Intervene much earlier than 2-8. Not a fair match any more.

Allow the goal.

Refuse.

...

6 second rule!

Bruh Italy v Ref in 2002 Flashbacks.

Rule against the team with the most black people

Book everyone but the captain for dissent if they try to contest one of your decisions