Realistic super powers thread.
The ability to talk myself into/out of any situation.
"No, No, No...I'm not stealing this tv from your store...I'm from Samsung! We're doing quality control...throw in a few of those ben 10 dvd's too....yeah....thats great"
R E A L I S T I C
S U P E R
P O W E R
T H R E A D
But user you're a mute
the ability to find that other sock
The ability to convince closet favs that they're actually gay and fapping to a penis is gay
Kick to the crotch only hurts a little bit
The ability to read a book upside down
Always have paper to cover toilet lids in public restrooms
Instant teleportation if I'm within .2cm of something
The power to make people think I'm smart by saying the same thing they already know but adding in big words and made up bullshit.
Presence.
Women want me, men want to be me, everyone takes notice when I enter a room, and people automatically trust my judgement and authority because it never occurs to them not to.
Realistic because some people actually do have this kind of trait to some extent or another.
Ability to always know where the sun is facing at night
>Invisibility in the dark
>Control remote
>Instant hairloss
>1 second super strength
>useless
The power to unhook a bra with one hand
Ability to make retards like this stop talking
Permanently
That's Fucking ridiculous. Impossible.
Oh come on, that's not realistic.
The power to Never have to wait in line for anything
Long line at grocery store? No problem. Gotta take a shit but all the stalls are full? no problem. Want to be first to get new game coming out? No problem.
Whoo! I have a super power! Incidentally it's the only thing I do better left-handed.
You think those powers are useless
No way
best powers
>read your own thoughts
>abnormal arm hair growth
>communicate with fruit
>control remote control
>seduce hats
>invisibility in the dark
Oh my bad
I didn't read what the thread was about
You seem pretty cool though
The ability to know the outcome of what I say in a conversation so I know what I should say that would benefit me most
>you left your wallet at home
Problem
>the stall your in stinks
Problem
>you bought the game for the wrong console
Problem
Super slow-mo is the most powerful
That's gay
See
Power to see everything that reflects light within the visible spectrum
That's what makes it realistic, being able to get whatever you want when you want it isn't always a good thing
Ability to see and move each individual atom, but only one atom at a time
He specifically said there wouldn't be a problem
There were many problems
Ability to write left-handed
It was me that said it. When I said no problem, I meant about the fact that you don't have to wait. But again, sometimes it is better to wait, thank you for making my power even more realistic ;)
Well most realistic powers would be. At least it would help me get laid.
The ability to hold a conversation that goes as well as it does in my head
youre a fucking fag if you ActuaLly do that though
>Ben 10 DVDs
Kek
1 second super strength sounds pretty good. just become like an olympic javelin thrower and toss that bitch to a record every time. gold medals for ever.
the ability to do only big cums
> become one punch man
...
No fair! if you're black you already have this power
The ability to masturbate to anything
Ability to put the straw into a capri-sun the first time, every time.
This is an ability I already posess
ability to not want to fucking kill yourself
Realistic
The world's greatest middle man
>someone asks me for some help or advice
>send in someone else
Are you ricky?
Underrated
I can do you one better: "the power to convince anyone of anything I say at any time."
Personally, though, I'd rather have: "the power to instantly know and understand the answer to any question I state out loud when nobody is listening to me."
Similarly: "the power to add a zero to any number in my life."
>Wish A:
>free shit whenever
>call your way up a corporate ladder, convince CEO to regularly donate to your savings account
>convince anyone that they want to fuck your brains out and that they're way, way more into it than should be humanly possible
>get away with anything
>problem: this power will probably get you sniped from a distance once it's discovered
>Wish B:
>"How do I build X?"
>innovation on demand
>"How do I get that qt3.14 to go out with me?
>boom, game > 9000
>"How do I live forever/cure that thing/get better at this/do that/avoid this/prevent the other thing/etc"
>godmode
>problem: you have to ask bum questions to make sure nobody's listening in on you and you might ask yourself something you don't really want to know if you're not paying attention
>Wish C:
>how far you can run in 1min x10
>how many minutes you can sprint before exhaustion x10
>how others would rate your sexual ability out of 10...x10
>interest rate x10
>year of your death gets put waaaay off
>pounds per square inch of your punches x10
>how much you can lift x10
>how long you can hold your breath x10
>how many meters you can swim in a minute x10
>batting average x10
>pitching mph x10
>what BAC you can handle before getting sick x10
>cast a vote, check the news: number of votes cast for your choice x10
>check the news: number of ISIS fighters killed in the past year x10
>find some way to meet Elon Musk, time he can go without sleeping before suffering adverse effects x10
>the list goes on
>problem: you're a fucking superhero after buffing your stats, and being a superhero causes problems...and you can only add one zero to everything.
u alright bud
>how alright he is x10
>instant hair loss
>never shave again, no more ass hair
>potentially give people the smoothest shaves of all time / painless crotch waxings
>charge a lot, but not absurdly expensive
>super slow-mo
>basically fast-forward all the boring, shitty parts of life
>potentially not age during these moments
>1-second super strength
>fucking super strength
>for one second
What, too much effort? Should I have responded with something like:
"ability to talk to grills"
"ability to keep mountain dew cold"
"ability to live in my basement forever"
"ability to dream about my waifu"
Or something equally snide?
>One-second super strength
Fucking God-shove the shit out of the poor fucker who decided to get in your way, watch as he dents the side of the fucking concrete building, or shove him into the fucking pavement.
>revive bugs
You become the swarm.
>Ultra-fast aging
The one super power I've always wanted
>Trash detection
Hide from your ex when they're nearby
too vague.
>get within .2cm of anything
>can instantly teleport anywhere you want