Fo' shizzle

Fo' shizzle

Fuck off

Rolling only once.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, holmes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo holmes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

[To be rapped at rap god speed]
Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is
Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you
And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating
'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music
You make elevator music

Yeye

i am so fucking gay i could suck a toad dick and weanus peenus

Te voy a cambiar el nombre
Para guardar el secreto
Porque te amo y me amas
Y a alguien debemos respeto
Te voy a cambiar el nombre
En base a lo que has traído
Ahora te llamarás Gloria
Lo tienes bien merecido
Y hemos de darnos un beso
Encerrados en la luna
Secreto amor te confieso
Te quiero como a ninguna
Y puedo cambiarte el nombre
Pero no cambio la historia
Te llames como te llames
Para mi tú eres la Gloria
Eres secreto de amor
Secreto
Eres secreto de amor
Oye
Eres secreto de amor
Secreto
Eres secreto de amor
Delante de la gente no me mires
No suspires, no me llames
Aunque me ames
Delante de la gente soy tu amigo
Hoy te digo, que castigo
Eres secreto de amor
Secreto
Eres secreto de amor
Te voy a cambiar el nombre
Para guardar el secreto
Porque te amo y me amas
No debo…
this gon be gud...

bump

roll and bump

rollo

roll

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

In west Pakistania
Born and raised
On the bomb range where I spent most of my days
Blowin up infidels, relaxin all cool
Shootin U.S. troops outside of school
When a couple of americans who were up to no good
Started defiling islam in my neighborhood
I set off one chem bomb and my mom got scared
She said "You're moving in with your 6 aunties in Tehran"
I whistled for a plane
And when it came near
The license plate said "Boom" and there were severed heads in the mirror
I thought to myself "Man, this plane is rare"
Then I thought "Nah man, fulfill Sharia law"
"Go bomb in Tehran"
I pulled up to the cell about 9:11 or later
I looked at the driver and said "Allah hu akbar, madh Allah, yarzuqna"
I looked at my flag
I've earned my title
Time to sit on my nukes as the prince of ISIL

pls no

If you read this post you must reply in this thread or your mother will die in her sleep.

niggers

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo./

Sit there, and listen

there are only 2 genders

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

No.

check em

hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there i'm gonna have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture huh? do u want that? do u wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if u keep this up then well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy

Y'all niggas can't fathom
The depth of the god particle,
Straight up lyrical disambiguation, minimalist design, universal mastermind, not so slick but smooth delivery I wouldn't even let ya hoe touch me
Fagget cunt suck my dick like I would a blunt,
Call my dick skinny pesci cause it pimps a runt

Roll

Oh nigga nooooo

The FitnessGram(TM) Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep.] A signal lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding.] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Barrel roll

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, Sup Forums our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

wakka blakka nugga nugga booga wooga nig nog

THE BEST ROOF CLEANER AVAILABLE. Spray & Forget shows you how to clean roofs, and is the most effective mold cleaner, mildew cleaner, moss cleaner, algae cleaner and lichen cleaner available today.
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Do I win?

desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu

desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu

desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu

desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu desu desu
desu desu is deus

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Knowing my luck I'll fucking get it.

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YOUR ROOF KEEPS GETTING CLEANER THROUGHOUT THE SEASON! Spray & Forget is a time release formula which offers residual cleaning benefits, and helps control roof stain problems, with no extra work.
SAVE TIME & MONEY - SAFELY CLEAN YOUR ROOF. 1 gal makes 10 gal of cleaner. No pressure washing! Simply spray and forget, enjoy the day, watch your house transform through the season to look amazing.

No

Oh man how lucky

damn, 1 number away.

Fuck you.

I sexually Identify as a spicy memer. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling every web page in the known universe with my spicy memes. People say to me that posting memes is a disgusting habit and I'm a pleb but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install pepe's on my face and 100 dongers on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "spicy memer" and respect my right to fill your browser history with cancer. If you can't accept me, you're a filthy tumblr newb and need to refresh your browser. Thank you for being so understanding

k fam

You got fucking lucky

The HD razor, extremely popular for its extra-thick handle, is otherwise identical to Merkurs original, internationally-revered, safety razor. The HD represents an elite standard of excellence, along with an even greater consideration for shavers with its reliable grip.

You weeaboo piiece of human traash
I will retali8

Rolling

What the dank did you just blazing say about me, you little meme? I’ll have you know I ayy’d top of my lmao in the Dank Memers, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on 9GAG, and I have over 420 confirmed memes. I am trained in gnome warfare and I’m the top sweglord in the entire /r/dank_meme forces. You are nothing to me but just another 9Fag. I will smoke you the fuck out with memes the likes of which have never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, memer. As we speak I am posting my secret network of dank memes across reddit and your karma is being rekt right now so you better prepare for the storm, shitposter. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your karma. You’re fucking downvoted, kid. I can meme anywhere, anytime, and I can dank you in over sixty nine ways, and that’s just with non-dank memes. Not only am I extensively trained in danked memeing, but I have access to the entire stash of Snoop’s dankest kush and I will use it to its full extent to blaze your miserable memes off the face of the thread, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you wouldn’t have posted those shitty memes. But you did, you had to, and now you’re paying the price, you little Sup Forums. I will blow my dank smoke all over you and you will choke in it. You’re fucking memed, kiddo.

faggots

lucky negroid

oh shit, one away.

R O L L

Instant Response Time: This cooking digital meat thermometer has an incredibly fast response time of only few seconds. This meat thermometer is perfect for indoor or outdoor use.No reasons to wait around anymore.
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Long Stainless Probe: 4.8" stainless steel probe that extends to a total length of 10.3" for ease of use, thus keeping your hands away from the heat when cooking at the grill or in the oven.

rope

Ive been waiting years for this moment

Extensive Temperature Range: Easily select between Celsius and Fahrenheit. The habor meat thermometer has a wide range from -49ºF to 392ºF or -45ºC to 200ºC so measuring temperature becomes easy and hassle-free.
Multiple Uses: Accurate temperature measurement perfect for kitchen, food, cooking, meat, grilling, frying and barbecuing, jelly as well as home brewing.

LOL? People still play this fucking garbage shit tier game. I could LITERALLY wipe my ass with a fork and it would look less shitty than this game. Do you literally live under a fucking rock? It's like you never even fucking heard of Bioshock Infinite. It's as if you ENJOY playing repetitive fetch quests with NPC's that quite honestly look like FUCKING SHIT. HOLY FUCK!!!! Do you actually like a game with unrealistic graphics and capped at 60 FUCKING frames? Jesus fucking christ you have autism. Maybe if you tried actually looking for a decent game like Bioshock Infinite or even fucking Fallout 4? Fallout 4 is basically a superior version of Skyrim that doesn't look like utter asshole and made by actual capable developers... No offense, but your game is trash and you most likely have a terrible personality.

Nope

i cant wait to see the unlucky bastard that will have to rap this.

Nigga nigga large man TERIYAKIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAA

I sexually Identify as a steel beam. Ever since 9/11 I dreamed of getting drawn closer and closer to my melting point by jet fuel under the Twin Tower letting them drop on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a steel beam is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install steel beams and jet fuel on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Steel Beam” and respect my right to not melt by jet fuel and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a steeliphobe and need to check your metallic privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

This is going to be cringey but I'll go for it

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Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix 6-Pack bundle, 8.5 ounce boxes; total 51 Ounces Net Weight.
Serving size: 1/4 cup (38g/1.3oz). Servings per container: about 6.

You casuals don't understand the value of a good meme. It's a blood thing. Some people collect good memes. There are entire families that collect good memes, and the people from those families can't pass over a good meme. Shit. I live in a fucking apartment, I never make memes. Yet, I have a dank meme I found on reddit as my phone wallpaper. No one understands good memes. You never know when you're going to need one.

sodomize me

Gimee a beat.

You know what I don't understand? No one ever takes copypastas seriously. I'm being honest here. No one ever stops and really understands the copypastas. They just pass it off as just another shitpost that was made by some edgy shit in his basement, waiting for downvotes and hate comments. These people are wrong. copypastas are made by the greatest minds on the planet. Each one is carefully and delicately crafted to get the least amount of karma on Reddit. I'm led to believe that maybe even Ernest Hemingway made a copypasta. Now, I am not talking about the shitty twitter copypastas that don't take any effort at all, like what you see on say, for example, Berny Snaders' page. They lack a soul. I only speak of Sup Forums copypastas and the like. Copypastas that make fun of the saltiness of OP and call his post cancer. These types of copypastas deserve respect. They aren't trash. They are literature.

ROLLERINO

check em'

55 get cuz im brad pitt

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Made using phthalate free, non-toxic materials thermoplastic rubber TPR. Triple Smooth measures 2.5 inches long by 2.5 inches wide. Always clean before and after use
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You dropped these.

Re-roll I seriously wanna do this

I sexually identify as a Nazi. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of throwing those disgusting Jews in gas chambers. People say that being a Nazi is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install a Hitler mustache, a swastika, and a Walther P38 on my body. From now on, I want you to call me "Nazi" and respect my right to kill Jews and kill Jews needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a Naziphobe and need to check your Nazi privilege. Thank you for being so understanding

OH SHIT

nigger nigger my nigger

GIVE ME MY DUBS BACK YOU FAGGOT

ok

been in this game for years, it made me a animal
It's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your game on track, not your wig pushed back
Rule nombre uno: never let no one know
how much, dough you hold, cause you know
The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially
if that man fucked up, get your ass stuck up
Number two: never let em know your next move
Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence or violence
Take it from your highness (uh-huh)
I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for they bricks and chips
Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Hoodie to mask up, shit, for that fast buck
she be layin in the bushes to light that ass up
Number four: know you heard this before
Never get high, on your own supply
Number five: never sell no crack where you rest at
I don't care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce
Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
You think a crackhead payin you back, shit forget it
Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely seperated
Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit
Number eight: never keep no weight on you
Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jobs too
Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you ain't gettin bags stay the fuck from police (uh-huh)
If niggaz think you snitchin ain't tryin listen
They be sittin in your kitchen, waitin to start hittin
Number ten: a strong word called consignment
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain't got the clientele say hell no
Cause they gon want they money rain sleet hail snow
Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up
If not, twenty-four years, on the wake up
Slug hit your temple, watch your frame shake up
Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass
Your girl fucked my man Jake up, heard in three weeks
she sniffed a who

old fag here, check my triforce
▲
▲ ▲

nah

And thats all i gotta say niggaaaaaa

>Can't greentext

Shieeeeeee

lol

Close

Rollo

check em

rerollio

ohhh yeahhhh slap me harder dadddyyy choke me please uhhhh

niggas in my house 5 times on a tuesday

faggots

2nd

trying again

bump

Your rhymes are stale
A new kind of fail

NIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You try to slice language
But it tastes kinda stale

ROLL

GIBBEH GEEB GUBBLE GOOBS GUB GUBGUBGUBGUBGUBGUBGUBGUB