Haven't seen a tard thread in awhile

Haven't seen a tard thread in awhile

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/7bApQFqB-zI
lmgtfy.com/?q=tdads
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

no one wanted to hurt your feelings.

OH

>kek

bump

Kek

fake ass shitty fucking green text right there

cops are gonna ask a fucking kid "hey, you know the corpse?"

I have a brother with autism not at all close but still have some fun tails to tell anyone interested he likes hockey and sonic the hedgehog and he thought butt sex was two people putting there butts together

Yaas

>steven universe reaction image
>FROM THE MOST RECENT EPISODE
>can't spell 'tales'

sure, ur brothers the tretard.

You must be the brother. I noticed with that Steven Universe there. It's ok, we understand.

fpbp

OP Here, got my own story

>Be me, sophmore in high school
>Finish eating and head to the shithole known as the bathroom
>Near the door, hear a rhythmic slamming noise
>Open bathroom door to be greeted by a perfectly consistent slamming noise coming from the corner
>Doorslam.mp3
>Tard standing in the corner slamming shitty stall door into radiator on wall
>Looks at me with the 1000yd gaze
>Overcome the fear of the irrational tard mind
>Finish pissing, uneventful
>Pack of niggers rush into bathroom while tard is still just slamming door
>Apes all pull out their iphones to videotape him for snapchat
>He notices and charges them with his +1000 tard speed
>Charges straight past them and reaches door
>Returns seconds later screaming
>Sprints back to radiator and stall door with now +1500 tard speed
>Just starts slamming stall door open into radiator again
>Mfw

Fake, didn't deserve those quads.

Ok here is one tail
> brother is 14
> our father asked a simple question
> you kids aren't way hung any of that porn stuff online right
> like good boy I am I lie
> no daddy dearest I would never
> brothers turn
> only pornhub
> my face when
> father cut off Internet for weeks >

Not fake though, I have more stories about him

heres one

>have two kids
>both severely autistic
>dont want them to feel bad
>tell each kid they're normal and that the OTHER brother is autistic
>catch them posting stupid stories about each other on Sup Forums about how much porn they watch

thinking of just killing them tbh

Get out
Stop
unless you have some decent stories and stop with this faggotry you need to leave

My day with the Spuds part 1
>Be me
>In school, all friends attend field trip without telling me
>Most of school is having field trips on the same day leading 90% of the school unpopulated.
>All extra students are moved into the Tard room.
"Do I have to? Can't I just go home?"
>teacher bitch screeches
>"No you cannot since you're not sick so you must come in here now!"
>Damnit.jpg
>Forced inside Lays farm where the unintelligible Tard speech is spoken fluently
>Picks a seat alone so I can sleep
>Lies head down and begins to rest
>Heavy breathing directly in ear.
What. The fuck. Is this.
>Instant recoil leaving stalkertard to also recoil in fear
"What are you doing?"
>Strange inhuman speech is released
>"Boooouuuug-Mayin!"
"Wh-what?"
>Teacher bitch looks at me with "Don't say shit" in eyes
>She turns on weird cartoon to entertain the tards.
>So beings my day with the spuds.

Look a real funny guy right here

You should

>I have LOTS more will work on them now

No thanks.

To fab to leave brother

this has potential

Geybo
Gaaaaaybo
Hue hue

Kek

Please leave

i love the show too man. even wokring on a live action recreation from the climax of 'ocean gem'.

but you can't be autistic and make fun of others for being autistic.

This shows worthy of being screenshotted

I don't have autism I have been tested guys naw naw bo bo

Continue

Heres one:
>All your stories are shit

Yeah just stop please. It hurts. Go back to your boipuccy or dick rate thread or whatever.

>turns out I'm the retard all along

come on man, stop being a fag

You first faggot

This is a real nice tard imo

Look mate, we'll be chill with you if you can please just tone down the faggotry. Just drop the act and subject and everything is cool. Please, it's starting to hurt.

...

Been a support worker for 2 years, shits insane, worst are the clubs run by people working for charties. Basically varyihg degrees of different levels of disabillites are thrown in a pub together, some with support workers some not.
Heres another story:
>People with learning disabillities are horny and would always sneak off to fuck.

I can't help it if I make a scene,
Stepping out of my hot pink limousine.
I'm turning heads, and I'm stopping traffic,
When I pose, they scream, and when I joke, they laugh.
I've got a pair of eyes that they're getting lost in,
I hypnotize by the way I'm walking,
I've got them dazzled like a stage magician,
When I point, they look, and when I talk, they listen, well,
Everybody needs a friend,
And I've got you and you and you
So many, I can't even name them,
Can you blame me? I'm too famous.
Haven't you noticed that I'm a star?
I'm coming into view as the world is turning.
Haven't you noticed I've made it this far?
Now, everyone can see me burning.
Now, everyone can see me burning.
Now, everyone can see me burning.

Fuck you, fuck boi.

I bet you take it up the ass.

For the love of god continue

...

Alright I'm getting off the computer now.
You win motherfucker.

My day with the Spuds part 2: Chips
>Day is going awkwardly due to the fact that if I stay up I'm going to get bitched at for no reason and if I go to sleep I'm most likely going to get molested by a retard.
>Stomach begins to growl.
>Fuck.
>Tard hears the noise and begins to mimic it
>"GROUOUOUUUUUU!"
>Teacher bitch stands up
>"Trevor, who told you to do that honey?"
>"Es momfin."
No idea what the fuck that is.
"Sorry miss it was my stomach and he was just copying what he heard."
>"Are you implying that he's not thinking for himself?!"
"No I'm saying that he's just trying to make a noise."
>"Think twice before you say things!"
"Tell that to him."
>Teacher bitch mumbles and walks away.
>Tard sits back down next to me and stares into my soul.
>I try not to make eye contact because he could suck out my life force.
Fuck that.
>Tard grabs my chin violently and forces my head even with his.
"Yes?"
>Just stares.
"Are.. You ok?"
>keeps staring.
>Begin to worry about if he's launching some kind of mind-transfer technique.
"Could you maybe, I don't know... Stop?"
>The bird-like cunt squawks
>"Don't use that tone with him, you're really getting on my nerves today!"
The feeling's mutual.
>Tard puts his fingers against my face
>Jesus Christ that stench, I can't forget it.
>It was like 6 month old sour cream was mixed with a sample of septic tank and gutter-water.
>I put his hand down.
>It returns in the same spot
>"Chiiiiiiiiiips."
"What chips?"
>"Chiiiiiiiiiips."
>I don't know what he's talking about.
>With each repeat he gets more ape-like
>Begins to go into 'Nam flashback
So ends part 2

Ok whatever I don't care

You have my attention

>be me
>sophomore year of HS
>in P.E.
>full of tards
>we're playing volley ball that week
>tards play on back half of gym
>me and friends start to fuck around
>friend throws volley ball
>i fucking punch it
>ball fucking flys through the air like a plane on 911
>hits tard straight in the face
>lets out a hellish scream
>falls to the ground and crys
>everyone looks at me like i killed him
Ended up breaking his nose and rest of the year known as kid you broke a tards nose HS was the best

By the way here is link to song
youtu.be/7bApQFqB-zI

Another:
Ive been supportingsomeone with atusim/adhd for a while.
lives in this supported living house with three others all around 25. Hes verbally abusive as fuck.
catchphrase is: im going to stab you in the fucking head. You dont even know hes retarded takes like 5 minutes, our job iscto take him out babysit him ect but hes live a 25 yo juvie delinqent, one day i had to stop gypsys throwing him in a canal.
Like the dude can read n shit hes kinda lime a kid in his head but violent with it, alwats wants his own way despite money ect. But he knows , when he got moved out the first thing he said was "is it because of my behavior?"
One day i come into work "what are we doing today mate?"
"I want to go to the garden center"
So off we go, get there and theres a santas grotto

a couple from my hs days

>be me
>be freshman
>be standing by locker
>see tard start running from around corner
>little girl
>no more than 90 pounds
>rushes guy standing 10 ft from me
>full on spider monkey attack
>tackles guy
>wails on him
>handlers arrive and escort her away
>0 explanation given
also
>have regular tards at school
>get to roam halls during classes with handler
>one particularly friendly one
>his name is kevin
>kevin spends every passing period standing around giving high fives
>when no one kevin vigorously fingers his asshole
>wrist deep
>he also likes to press every button on every vending machine
>mfw he high fives every single person who passes him

My day with the Spuds part 3: Great Ape
>Tard begins to go full Oozaru
>Vulture teacher stands up
>"What's wrong with him?!"
Was so tempted to say "Could've asked that at the birth."
>She runs over to him to comfort him
>Tard flips table
>Flips the fucking table.
>Tater Tard unleashes the power of 500 armies upon the classroom tables and appliances.
>Class of Mr and Mrs Potato Heads are scurrying in fear, running from the Great Ape that has been released among them.
>"NOOOOOOO! GBAAAAAHHH!"
>the Tard screams with high intensity
>More and more tables are flipped
>One table hits the arm of Alpha-Tard, the largest and most child like within their chromosomial guard.
>Alpha-Tard bellows his mighty roar, signaling the apocalypse.
>He charges at trigger-Tard and the battle begins, punches, throws, grappled and all tier attacks are preformed.
>All other students are forced out of the room
>The teachers and most of the staff are gone but the Janitor
>He is assigned to put an end to the madness
>God spare him.
End of part 3

Got anymore user

Cont.

>Im like fuck...
>He deffo wants to see santa, he doesnt have the money, this is for attention like everything.
>Calmy explain to him that he doesnt have the money and hes a little to old for it
>I WANT TO FUCKING SEE SANTA!!!!!!!

At this point you just keep your distance he usually lets up in the end.

>Garden center workers get sucked into his crazy
>they give him a free ticket to see santa
>im sat outside santas grotto while my 25 year old client is in there doing fuck knows what.
>cute 8/10 elf come out "Lee wants you in there with him" ..he does shit like this at hospital appointments like a control thing, in and out of the room.
>I go in and hes stood in tbe corner of the room like santas security guard (he basically does this when you go out with him abd bullshits the public thst he is infact a security guard.
>Hes not leaving
>Eventually leaves when santa says hes closing the grotto and that he wont get the gold watch for christmas which santa correctly guessed he wanted.
>He tells santa to fuck off and that he wants a hand held radio.

Thats actually a good day with him, hes complex as fuck, actually kinda miss him now hes gone.

>chromosomial guard
fucking lost

Kek keep going

Dead?

nah thats all the interesting ones I can recall from my days, Kevin did these things for the full 4 years I went there though. Also there was one with a mullet.

Plz moar

Such Bs m8 stop exaggerating

Yes you can. I actually have autism and I am amazed at how autistic you faggots are compared to me.

Aww that's shitty good storie tho

He got moved out i mentioned it somewhre, i still see him pretending to be a security guard sometimes in town, i have more about him, hes unlike anyone in the world i cant describe him at all.

Fake story are you retarded son? "Plz mooaer"

My day with the Spuds part 4: Endgame
>Janitor is 56-ish black guy and is extremely out of shape.
"You're gonna go in there?!"
>"You think I won' to? But I ain' got no choice."
>Janitor marches in like a trooper
>Janitor grabs Alpha-Tard but is elbowed in the face
>What's this? The Tards put aside their differences and team up against the poor janitor!
>He can only ball up in fear to survive
>Tards throw WWE stomps and elbow drops on the failed hero.
>All hope is lost now that the two juggernauts have teamed up as one
I can only stand in shock
>Tards start weeping heavily at the beating they out on the poor man
>Alpha-Tard picks him up onto his feet and dusts him off, giving him a thumbs up
>It's just 11:00 and it looks like a tornado came in this bitch.
>I said "Fuck it" and left
>I could leave by then because I was a senior and had 22 credits
>Walks out from the chaos
>Tells principle about what had just occurred and that I was leaving
>Gets out and does the Flash Gordan mid-air victory freeze with "Don't you forget about me" playing in the background.
>Get in car and kek all the way home.
And so ends My day with the Spuds

More more

Bullshit they would never team up against an suthirty figure and you woulnt gave a janitor do that as they would super untrained. Shit if thst were true you would need someone with breakaway tachniwue training there who then couldnt leave the room by law. "You going in there?" As if you could even leave the room without someone vulnrable being hospitalised in that situation.
Also they wouldnt be crying, at that moment they are in crisis phase which is all anger and adrenaline, crying comes after when they are returning to baseline.
>support worker worked with everything.

Like I said most of the staff were gone and he was there. I got out fast and shit because I saw crazy shit go down. I still don't know why they started crying, it just kinda happened. I know it sounds like a load of shit but it all really happened, most Tard stories are like that: super outrageous and weird as Hell but you must understand that they are retarded after all, they're very unpredictable.

I used to be a support worker myself (TDADS).
Funniest thing at my facility was how most of the higher level tards insisted they were staff and tried their damnedest to imitate us and pass themselves off as normal.

Easiest way to call them out was by looking at their spelling

There was this one time he saw someone at a club have a sezuire. Now this guy loves attention so he saw that, next day in town he tries to escape.
Im looking for him whilst making it look like im not looking for him cos that triggers him.
See a small crowd in a car park.
Hes lay on the floor giving his best seziure impression.
I say "what the fuck are you doing?"
He stops and genuinely says "Fuck off Daz Im having a fucking seizure"
Crowd disperses as i flash my support worker ID.
He verbally abuses the fuck out of me for reasons he cant even understand. (I stopped the attention)

Best story ive ever read. I really enjoyed I thanx Sup Forumsro

I hear that. On my first day the guy who saw santa was like "Alright Daz nice to meet you yea theyre all just in there"
Literalky took a minute, his clothes gave it away. A fosters jacket with a guiness baseball cap. Eyes look dead from crack, even though he wouldnt know what a drug was.

Nice dubs also thanks

I've got one.

> This kid (from here called red) had emotions that ran from super happy to super aggressive.
> kids used to wind him up like a dog with a stick, eventually to the point where he would do just about anything if people laughed.
> when egged up he got even more impressionable then usual, and could be convinced to do almost anything.

Along comes year 10.

> red is getting wound up while everyone waits for class. Eventually, is told "I bet you can't break that window"
> that kid was dead wrong, as red proceeded to bash his fist through the window again and again.
> everyone shocked
> blood literally everywhere as the window tore Red's arm apart
> substitute teacher comes along (that's why everyone was still waiting outside classroom) and sees the situation.
> sub turns into combat medic from Hollywood movie, ripping his own shirt off and using it to bandage red as he bleeds out on the ground.
> ambulance arrives, takes him away for a week or so.
> red eventually comes back, but the stitch work running up him is a reminder of that afternoon.

That sub ended up getting a permanent job. Actually pretty cool guy.

I refuse to watch this.

Whats TDADS?

...

>be me
>highschool
>junior prom coming up
>miraculously get date
>tard girl named kimberly has crush on me tho
>always sitting next to me at lunch
>cant eat because shes being retarded next to me
>friend calls her kimber tard
>convince date to kiss me in front of her to scare her away
>does
>tard girl runs away trying not to cry
>friend calls her kimbertard
>i luahged

that was dumb its a story about being able to outsmart and manipulate a retard.

lmgtfy.com/?q=tdads

Anyone got the chippoman thread? I was in that one, fucking hilarious

Underage b&

>knows it's from the most recent show
user, you've got some explaining to do.

Haha. No son, you could literally just tell me. Or i could just google it

Top kek

I got one

At my middle school I went to there was a special section dedicated for the tards at lunch. one tard had a walker and would sit farther away from potato friends. One day after lunch period ends
this yard suddenly stars using his walker as a weapon and keeping us hostage from exit when one student try to escape he beat the ever lovingly
shit out of him. mfw I told him to do it

Nice trips

>6th grade
>have fatfuck tard kid in school
>easily 200+lbs
>occasionally hear him running/chugging along the halls screaming "UHM FWYUHN'!" or see him running outside trying to get away from staff
>one day we have the windows open
>they're old, but pretty big windows with a lever you pull and then you push them open
>hear tard tarding out
>sounds like it's outside, but don't see him
>as I'm looking back and forth to try to spot him, he falls from the above floor into the grass, nearly hitting the sidewalk
>immediately starts the wounded orchestral song of the tardkin
>sounds like Helen Keller on a sybian
>staff quickly crowding around him
>math class ends early

>implying there is no such thing as past tense

confirmed for a nigger, they cant into tenses

>be me
>14
>At my highschool the tards arent really seperate from the normal kids so you'd have a class or 2 with some tards
>This one tard got on my nerves
>Hated him with a passion
>Dont even know what was wrong with him. He had some sort of hearing aid though so he talked like a deaf retard, so you can imagine. The hearing aid will be be important later
Anyway
>Math class
>Messing around with friend, bit of pushing each other and shit like that you know 14 year old shit
>Friend gets me in a headlock and sort of pulls my head down so I'm bent over
>Tard instantaneously picks up his stack of tard learning books
>Slams me over the head
>ufuckingwot.rtf
>grab that kids arm and throw him over my shoulder like I'm the fuckin karate kid
>Lands flat on the ground
>Starts screaming and fucking crying
>TARD RAGE ENGAGE
>Rips off his hearing aid and fucking slams it on the ground
>TARD SCREAMING INTENSIFIES
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Just think oh shit lol
>Tard keeper ushers him out of the class, trying to calm him
>Screeching all the way down to the tard office
>Tfw I was never even confronted about it

Someone older wouldnt have posted such a shit story. Past tense wasnt even considered.

> be me
> sophomore several years ago
> elective is with tards and some m8s
> all year is pretty good
> get comfortable with friend feelsgoodman
> last couple of months one tard is acting every very special now
> tard uses ground as feeding area
> he legit picks up gum from the floor and starts eating it
> every single doctor cried that day
> "autobots roll out"
> he stunk and was fat

You severely over-estimate the maturity of people on b, especially them being in a tard thread.

You dont believe that what we have here are the smartest? Cos i met two guys from /b once and they were cringer uni going super nerds

Sorry, should've said majority of people on b. There are of course exceptions.

>gets linked to Google
>No. I could just google it.
This chucklefuck.

>Helen Keller on a sybian.

Fucking lost

Screenshotting this glorious greentext

Posted a long time ago about a super tard known as Timmy the destroyer, here's a new story:

> in sophomore year
>Timmy is known not to be fucked with
>polices the fuck outta halls to make things safe
>new student
>super bro, wore afflicted everything and flat billed caps everywhere
>starts shit with anyone he can find that is small and nerdy
>trips a kid in the hall and kicks his book yelling "WOOOPS"
>Timmy is right there wearing a police badge and screams loud
>PICK UP DA BOOKS! PICK UP DA BOOKS!
>bro making tard mocking gestures and laughing walking around Timmy making noises like a monkey
>Timmy is livid
>I'LL SHOW YOU MONKEY!!!!
>pulls off his pants in the crowded hall
>everyone stops everything knowing generally what is about to happen
>Timmy runs and pounces
>bro turns at the perfect moment
>face full of tard groin
>falls to the ground
>Timmy shits on the way down
>slammed his ass up and down screaming like a monkey on the bro
>tard wranglers come and pull him away and Timmy puts up no fight, just has the Timmy justice smile on his face
>the guys entire lower half of his face is covered in shit including his top of shirt and neck
>gets suspended for provoking timmy
>everyone calls him milkshake the rest of highschool cause of the shit on his face from Timmy

Ubiquitous tale of Neal