Hey Sup Forums I'm writing a rap and want to know how you'd feel if you heard some of your favorite rappers say these...

Hey Sup Forums I'm writing a rap and want to know how you'd feel if you heard some of your favorite rappers say these lines (would they make you say "dayum I like that clever line". They are separate from one another just ideas I have

All the similes I say
I'm a Minute Made man like lemonade


I'm on that 21 scene like black jack
On the big screen like jack black
Bad bitch but she bad in the sack
Matter of fact
You should go home watch a porno so you can reenact


They say man give us a metaphor
Bitch I'm a matador
I ain't taken your bull shit anymore

Also I'm 21 (why I'm on that 21 scene)

Keep it as a hobby my man. Its aight

lol

All tha similez I say
I be a Minute Made playa like lemonade


I be on dat 21 scene like black nigger
On tha big-ass screen like jack trigger
Shiznitty biiiatch but her big-ass booty shitty up in tha sack
An as a Matta of fact
Yo ass should bounce back ta tha doggy den peep a porno so you can reenact


They say playa give our asses a metaphor
Bitch I be a mad ass whore
I ain't taken yo' bull shiznit no mo'

To be honest, no, they seem unfinished and like the rhymes are the main focus, not the actual point you're trying to make.

Ok they are simply one liners obviously the song needs a focus but you can throw lines like these into a lot of different shit just because it's clever. Do you listen to rap?

Do you actually get the jokes though? Like Minute Maid is a brand of lemonade, and that Matadors don't take Bull shit

When you're happy,
It brings a smile to my lips,
And when I'm rapping,
It brings a sway to your hips.
With a metaphor I say:
My smile is 8 miles wide,
With a simile I say:
You're like a care-free child.

When you're happy,
It brings a smile to my lips.

Thanks man

Yeah I get it, and I listen to rap, just on their own, these lines are nothing. No context.

Ok so like say for the first line I make a song about how I have street cred. Later I could say in the song I've got juice (another word for street cred) and somehow work that into the lemonade thing.

've never even attempted to rap. But here I go. This is one off for the bucket list.

I wakey and I bakey
I'm 100% nakey
I'm texting all my bitches
While I'm wrapped up in my blankey

Howd I do gentlemen?

Maybe just me, but it just seems lame. I like rap with something to say other than "LOok at ME Im coool!"

Haterfag here, not terrible, better than OP.

The best line ever is from Slim Shady's First EP The song is called murder murder The line goes like this:

"...Just then, the pigs bust in yellin Freeze
But i'm already wanted for selling keys
And a bunch of other felonies
From A to Z
Like spelling bees..."

Your lines are no where close to that but you got potential mate

Actually I could just say the line as it originally stands and the next line say, "I got that juice"

And rhyme from there

OP RAP. fresh off the dome im high af.

>Uh.. I disappoint my parents..
>Disappoint my parents...
>My dad can't look at my face
>Kid nap a child I got-
*insert hook*
>CP ON MY PC. CP ON MY PC. CP ON MY PC.

I BOMB TESTS LIKE THE USA
I SUCK DICKS IM OP IM GAY
I STARE AT TRAPS ALL DAY
I GOT CUM IN MY D.N.A.
I GOT A SNAP BACK AND A TATTOO
>TRAMP STAMP
I TONGUE SACKS AND SLAP TOO
*air horn*
I CANT FIGHT I BITE I'LL SCRATCH YOU
IM A PEDOPHILE IF YOU'RE 5 I'LL SNATCH YOU

>snatch you. snatch you.

*insert the hook 5x until song ends.*

I love that album and song.

What do you think about this original I thought up yesterday:

Years 94' and my trunk is raw
No the view mirror it's the moths fuckin law
Got two choices naw
Pull over the car oar
Put it to the double put the pedal to the flaw

Topkek

Lold
>cum in my DNA

Not bad

Protip: rap is for niggers and rap is not music.

This shit is gay
O.P. is gay
Back in the day
Bush one was droppin them bombs
I was fuckin yer moms
Yer daddy didn't get a say
He tried to call a pig
But I got away
My dick is big
Yours is not
I drink champagne
You lick your snot
Rap is easy
Its simple as pie
Your rhymes are cheesy
Your face is greasy
Your breath is wheezy
And now you gotta die

You don't listen to rap that often do you

idk I thought it was pretty good. Nice flow.

I'm not a nigger

Dubs checked and 55 keks