I'm in the army and it's fucking retarded. how should I get kicked out...

I'm in the army and it's fucking retarded. how should I get kicked out? I wish DADT hadn't been repealed because I could've just said I was a homo and been out within a month

I was thinking of joining convince me not to?

You probably got a shit score on the ASVAB and got some retarded job

this

Are you MOS-Q?

nah didn't score that bad got average but I'm an MP so you're right I did choose a retarded job

Conceincouse

DUI would be the fastest way.

Bullshit, MPs make bank. If you have an MP job then you're already set. Getting a job as an MP takes a long time as well, It must've taken you 3-4 years to get this job already anyway, you would be throwing a lot of work away.

You could try reclassing.

I just think it's fucking retarded. I sit around all day and never do my actual job.It's probably where i'm stationed tho. Do yourself a favor and don't go airborne/get stationed in Bragg. Everyone's a bunch of pricks because they think they're better than everyone else because HURR DURRR AIIIIIRBORNE. Like jumping out of planes is cool and all but I don't think it's worth all the bullshit

deny orders or smoke weed and tell your 1sg

Just fail two pt tests

so youre enlisted?
not an officer?
so as an officer would i have a better experience?

lmao nah bruh all grades/ranks make the same amount of $$ no matter MOS. Plus getting a job in the army doesn't work that way bruv. I chose MP at MEPS then went to do my 6 months of OSUT training and boom. I am become MP.

Show up for PT without your PT belt.

Twice.

oh definitely dude. Officers have it made and they make fucking bank. if you're commissioning I say go for it

This is true. every weekend safety brief I get my commander straight up tells us if we get hauled in for a DUI he's starting the paperwork right then and there. I'm just not tryna lose my license tho

Lol

sadly yes. If I knew the bull fuckery I would have to deal with I would've been one of those sad fuckers that quit in basic or AIT and got dat sweet sweet Entry Level Separation

What do you make as an MP? Here in Canada a fully trained AVN tech gets around 60k a year as a corporal, which is about 4-5 years.

Applying to Air Force Academy, any advice?

You sound like a total cunt, to be honest. I'm not in the service and even I can see that you'd be a fucking nightmare to deal with for long periods of time.

>they think they're better than everyone else
>or you just tried to show off to a bunch of people with more experience than you and got offended when they laughed in your faggot facehole

If you're a dick, people are going to treat you like shit. That's a lesson every male under the age of 30 needs to learn. Its most often why you have problems getting along with the outside world, because only your mother is going to put up with your arrogant bullshit. The rest of us don't have to do jack shit.

Nah considering i'm enlisted and in the army but I just want you to know I spend every waking moment wishing I had joined the Air Force because it is the way superior branch so good on u m8

nah fam I keep my thoughts to myself and play nice with everyone because i don't want to be that guy and get treated like shit like you said

start doing this OP.

lmao

Fail a piss test for thc

check'em

definitely on top of my list o' ideas. Just need to think of where I can score some of dat dank

If you get yourself kicked out you have to pay back any bonus you recieved

>you know all this shit about one person from a post he made talking about how shit a job is

how can you be this butthurt about him talking shit about the military

this is the one time I'm glad my retarded ass signed up without any incentives/bonuses

its a public service announcement, not a personal attack on you boy. relax.

All the way!!!!

noooooooooo

MP huh? Where at? Where did you attend basic and AIT?

I was a sailor so I don't know if this works for you war heroes in the army, but try this:

Piss yourself when you sleep. Do it two or three times. The first couple times, clean up and try to hide it. The third time, go to the unit psych and talk about how mentally disturbed and depressed you are.

It works even better if you do some research into symptoms of depression and whine about them to the psych.

Bam, instant out.

Lost a couple dudes off my shit that did that. Now... I mean... they were weak little faggots for doing it, but i get it.

Good luck OP, you weak bitch.

idk don't get yourself in trouble with drugs or dont following orders

try saying you can't wear weapons
you've changed, moral
you couldnt hurt anyone anymore

as well as being a chapter case which means no collecting un-employment benefits when you get the boot.

go talk to a chaplin OP. don't fuck it up by getting the boot from a failed piss test or random other shit.

pull a clinger, talk to chaplin, get a chapter case and profit.

Just do what I did (twice): say you're going to hurt yourself, demand counselling, say it didn't work, and become a flight-risk. You'll be kicked out under Chapter 5-17 with an RE of "3."

How did you reenlist after a psych discharge?

Waiver, since the first discharge got me an RE of "2C" from the Air Force (I washed out during Basic).

Stationed at Bragg. Did OSUT training in Fort LeonardWood aka Fort Hell on Earth

OKay, Just a tiny test. OF course FLW. I'm an MP here at JBLM. Grade? Don't be bitch tough it out

just do your fucking three years get an honorable discharge and stop being a pussy

Why reenlist then if you hate it?

I did my six and that was enough for me.

>tfw u have a 5 year contract

Claim to be suicidal. Stick to it and say you want to kill yourself because you regret joining. It'll work.

ya boy's only a PFC. What about you?

I had nothing else going for me; I wasn't prepared for adult life as I thought I was, and all I knew was the military (which I was forced into to begin with).

you did that in both AF basic and Army basic? or did that actually work in big army?

watch mlp and start sucking your thumb

>I wish DADT hadn't been repealed because I could've just said I was a homo and been out within a month
that isn't how it worked
just being gay didn't get you kicked out
your commander had to prove that you were actively engaging in gay activities
basically you had to get caught in the act to get kicked out
and going to your command and outing yourself for the purpose of trying to get discharged would usually get you some NJP for dereliction of duty or disrespecting an officer or some other general catch all reg

Air Force Basic, and then Army AIT a year and a half later.

How hard is it to get into the military? I'm strongly considering going into it to become a med tech but I don't have much experience.

lmao I'd kiss a dude or touch his wiener to get that honorable idgaf

sounds like a great way to get brought up on malingering charges

SGT. If you're unhappy you need to speak to someone. Once your mind gets in that mode you just go farther and farther.

My friend was discharged without honor because he went awol for a couple weeks without permission. He wound up doing a lot of psychedellics and went on a spiritual journey that he states made him find himself.

Kill yourself
The only way out

when everyone is asleep shout out in the john "THIS IS MY RIFLE! THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!" until it wakes up your co

it wasn't an honorable discharge
not even less than honorable
getting kicked out for being gay was a straight up dishonorable discharge for conduct unbecoming a (insert branch specific general title here)

aw shit *snaps to parade rest* Airborne Sarn't. It probably doesn't help that everyone else here hates it just as much so there's not much positive reinforcement.

Sorry man that's rough.

It's not for everybody. I served my time but it felt like a sentence, know what I mean?

Glad I'm out.

Dudes be kissing and touching dicks just for fun.

If you can't go above and beyond regular gay chicken you won't get noticed. Military is full of closet cases.

Do what I did (unintentionally) show up to formation late and drunk (twice). Then, flunk out of rehab.

drugs would be fastest way. Narcotics or old prescription. next piss test will have you started on your way.

>Comes to parade rest
>Talks

What the fuck.

I was looking into that. I read that if you self-refer to ASAP then admit that you relapsed your command is supposed to start the chapter paperwork.

only works for lower enlisted
had 3 senior NCOs do that in a dry theater
each of them got sent home where they were promptly promoted

You need to go through your NCO Support Channel. They are there to help you even for instances like this. Don't get caught up with other privates bitching and moaning. Sometimes it sucks, we hate it too sometimes. When did you graduate? How much left on your 5yr?

I kind of do. I mean, I'm not against the military or anything (coming from a military family), but it really *isn't* for everyone, and my parents should have seen the importance of a college degree/education as I did and still do.

While I was waiting to be chaptered out of the AF, I had to spend 21 days in a prison-like flight/battery. We didn't do PT, didn't march (except next-door, to chow), we just sat around all day talking and watching paint dry. 21 Days, no phones, no TV, no internet, etc. Although, there were a couple of instances where they hooked up the TV in the day-room with a straightened out metal part from a spiral notebook...but we couldn't just sit there and watch; we had to be extremely careful.

As for waiting to get out of the Army, I stared at a wall for 15 days while being constantly monitored and escorted by other soldiers and NCOs. I couldn't smile, I couldn't even go to the latrine without being escorted. I can't tell you how great it was to ride the planes back home after those instances.

lol

Id suggest hitting on your lt but he would prolly like it
>cuck army implied

What were you expeting? Your own CoD adventure?

lmao what? you're allowed to talk at parade rest. It's how you're supposed to talk to NCO's. Unless this is the SGT because i'm not sure who i'm replying to right now (when did 4chin do away with ID codes? been a minute since I was on) and you're about to drop some knowledge on me

...

Hardship discharge. Have a member of your family get some nasty cancer that you need to be close to home to help out with.

You're a POG and a fag and a leg

become a woman, it's super popular now, but the army still consider it mental illness. instant section 8.

I am POG as fuck. not a fag tho and not a leg.

They impose that prison atmosphere on recruits for two reasons.

1. They know you're faking and they want to make your last weeks as awful as possible.

2. Youre not faking and you're a basket case. If you die on base your civvie faggot parents will sue for a billion dollars. Therefore they watch you like a hawk so you don't hang yourself.

Airborne. At least you ain't a leg.

>you're allowed to talk at parade rest
true
>>Comes to parade rest
>>Talks
>What the fuck.
also true
you are not allowed to talk at parade rest while in formation
you are required to talk to a senior ranking NCO at parade rest (as an individual not in formation)

Interesting. I certainly wasn't faking, and I'm sure my parents wouldn't sue (since they're military and I have a civilian record of depression and psych visits). I had never been happier to see a McDonald's afterwards though.

bro they kept the people in my basic class that were getting discharged for fucking ever. there was a dude who straight up quit the second day we got to our company and he was there until AIT started.Same with people who were getting legit medical discharges. You're lucky you got sent home so quick in both cases.

This might be a difference between services.

In the navy, you cannot speak at parade rest. It's effectively a stress position for junior sailors who fucked up. Not unusual to put one of then at parade rest outside chief's office for an hour before they get yelled at. Breaks em down.

You can speak at attention and at at ease.

Fail PT dummy. Too easy. I've got five months left of this shit and I'm done.

Yes. When I was waiting to be discharged from the AF, there was a guy who had been in that flight for 5 months before I got there. He was able to go to the PX whenever, had his cellphone, books that weren't in the "library," etc. Heh, it's been 9 years, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's still there.

Never checked into it, but a JAG told me getting kicked out for Height/Weight is an honorable discharge. Not failing APFT though. So, bust tape (thin neck, bust out your gut), and they'll counsel you. After enough times of not losing enough, DD214!

I'd double check whatever AR or UCMJ code that falls under, cause ive only heare that from one JAG and never checked up on it.

Easy as fuck, im at corps school now, otherwise known as med tech for air force, but air force has it chill af honestly, plus you have all the hot girls

Quit being a whiny fucking cunt and do your time. When you get out, you'll be able to use your GI Bill to literally get paid to get a college degree. On top of that, you'll have free healthcare and a free ride to the top of the list for any civil service position.

>EMBRACE THE SUCK

I leave in 5 days for the army went big signed the 18x bro

>Fail PT dummy. Too easy. I've got five months left of this shit and I'm done.
just don't be a retard about it
if you get to 1 rep short of passing then quit, or walk back and forth in front of the finish line until you fail then you will get slapped with disobeying orders, dereliction of duty, disrespecting an NCO &/or officer, and conduct unbecoming

may god have mercy on your soul. Good luck in Airborne school, keep those feet and knees together!

Vet here: OP's more right than you are, especially being stationed on Ft. Bragg.

Op, the "best" way out for you is to get broken. You don't want an OTH discharge. Just suck it up and drive on. You can make it.

Also, remember, you can fuck green beanies careers before they can even start!

I've been here at my unit for almost a year already. I just find(almost) all my NCO's hard to talk to because they all have that macho as fuck attitude and if you're not the best at everything you're automatically a shitbag

I keep hearing about religious discrimination from there. Plus, they once had, or still do have, the worlds largest pipe organ.

So be christian, and not reasonable christian, like catholic, but full on born again

you're getting chaptered because of PT or you just done with your contract?