ITT you give me your best dark jokes
ITT you give me your best dark jokes
Other urls found in this thread:
niggers
Why do aethiopians have thin arms and round bellies?
Because they never work and eat all day!
...
thank mr skeltal
why did the chicken cross the road?
>niggers
Why are niggers jealous of dog shit?
Because it eventually turns white and looses its smell.
thank mr skeltal
What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?
Gloves
Jk he hasn't opened it yet
thank mr skeltal
thank mr skeletal
b-but this picture is a png file..
thank mr skeltal
What's orange and hanging in my back yard?
Shut up. He's my nigger and I'll paint him whatever color I want!
thanks mr. skeltal
Whats the difference between niggers and dog shit?
Obamas dick
Fuck that. Sauce on that handjob pic. Jokes are for Mexicans. The only laughing I'll be doing is out of my penis.
Shiiit I just posted the same joke. You beat me to it.
...
Fucking kek
one in a hundred
Actually made me lawl hard
CPD from last thread
Why were the kids at sandy hook so disappointed?
They wanted books, all they got were magazines
Why is it so hard to kidnap Ethiopians?
They fall through the holes in the shopping cart
How do you tell if an Ethiopian is pregnant?
Hold it up to a light
How do you hold an Ethiopian rave?
Tape a piece of toast to the ceiling
Girl: Daddy, I don't want to go to school.
Dad: Ok but you know the rules *zip*
Girl: Dad your dick tastes like shit
dad: Your brother didn't want to go either.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
Cornchips
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The one live baby on the bottom eating its way out.
What's the difference between a six-year old and Ford Mustang?
I don't have a Mustang in my garage.
Whats the hardest part of microwaving a baby?
My dick.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
Chewing the Wheelchair.
Whats the difference between a Banker and a Pedophile?
The banker will give you two fives for a ten, the Pedo will give you two tens for a five.
And my favorite...
Why are Orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back "I know."
key that's good
what do you call 5 black people having sex?
a threesome
...
what's the opposite of christopher reeves?
christopher walken
But there's 5 of them.
how come orphans cant play baseball?
they dont know where home is
If only Africa had mosquito nets, we could save millions....of mosquitoes from dying of aids.
This faggot never took US History
3/5 compromise...
thank mr skeltal
Three Clergy Men are walking down the street.
Priest: This new couple just who always sits in the front pew have the cutest little boy. Any idea how I could blow him?
Muslim: Of course, a car bomb!
Priest: No I mean like screw them!
Rabbi: Out of what?
thank mr skeltal
thank mr skeltal
I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.
thank mr skeltal
my girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day.
thats an awfully big word for a five year old.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yeah, they found her Head and Shoulders in the glovebox
Not really a joke, but this happened today.
>be in van coming back from work together with colleagues, around 7 dudes
>roadblocked by police and firetrucks on bridge
>goddamn we gotta go around the whole way
>go around whole way (we need to pick someone up right behind the roadblock)
>pick up guy, he talked to firemen who said there was a suicidal dude wanting to jump from the bridge in the water
>aight, we drive on and wonder if the guy jumped or not
>after a while we stop at a gasstation
>hear sirence approaching
>medical-van with an image of a scuba-diver on the side races by
>everybody laughs
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them
How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
Nail the other hand to the floor.
How do you fit 40 babies in a bowl?
Blender
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips
How do you starve a black man?
Hide the food stamps under his work boots.
"Hey. I have black people in my family tree. Pretty sure they're still hanging there."
What do you get when you skin a dead baby?
An erection.
How many Jews can you fit in a Honda Civic?
46. One in each seat and the rest in the ashtray,
how did they make copper wire in the 40's?
Two jews and a penny.
What's pale, orange, and floats in a pool?
A dead baby.
What's black, orange, and at the bottom of a pool?
Same baby a week later
how many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, and a really big light bulb.
I totally read the first post as "Dad Jokes" and I was like... y'all motherfuckers have some sick dads.
Now this, I like
thank mr skeltal
what does an old lady's pussy smell like?
depends
>My friend of 10 years beat himself to death.
He just couldn't stop stroking.
Where is he?
Dark humour is like a kid with cancer... it never gets old.
thank mr skeltal
thank mr skeltal
Kwashiorkor
What's the hardest part about being a pedo?
Fitting in
thank mr skeltal
thank mr skeltal
What's black and screams?
Stevie wonder answering the iron
How do jew pedos lure in children?
"Hey kids wanna buy some candy?"
thank mr skeltal
It's Reeve, not "Reeves"
Why were the twin towers disappointed when they ordered pizza?
They asked for pepperoni and got plane
Source?
This is not a joke.
ok im down
What's Osama bin Ladin's favorite recipe?
Big Apple Crumble.
Did you hear about the peso with asthma?
He could only breathe in little snatches.
*pedo
thanks mr skeletal
Thanks mr skeltal
What's the difference between a rebellious chicken and a hooker?
One clucks defiance....
What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
You can't unload a truckload of dead babies with a pitchfork.
Whoops.
Worst part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair
The joke? Found that on a popsicle stick
Best ever
thank mr skeltal
Thanks Mr. Skeletal.
Not mine, found this on Sup Forums a few days ago
Thank Mr. Skeletal
statistics say that 9/10 people enjoy gang rape
Source, mate.
Please.
How do you rehabilitate a dilapidated whore?
Stick a ham leg in and pull the bone out.
Lost
what's the different between a pizza and a jew?
you take the pizza out of the oven before it burns
what's the difference between a nigger and a sack of shit?
the sack
if you drop a nigger and a jew from a building which one lands first?
the nigger, because shit is heavier than ash
a white man is walking around when he sees a massive, towering nigger walking with a pet parrot on his shoulder, he goes and asks:
"excuse me, but what animal is that?"
"a nigger!"
(this one doesn't really work when written)
what are 3 niggers dropping from a skyscraper doing?
good
two niggers are in a car, who's driving?
the police
where do you fit 5 jews in a car?
3 on the back and 2 on the front because the holocaust never happened
two white men are walking around when one sees a nigger with a TV in his hands:
"hey! that's mine! oh no wait, mine's home washing the dishes"
Whats worse then being foced to wear ugly vest from your gandma in public?
>Wearing an ugly vest from your middle eastern garandma in public
Knock Knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
than =/= then
FUCK!
Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
Thank mr skeltal
Dumb fuck
What's a five year olds dick smell like?
*breathes in your face*
thanks mr skeltal
thank mr skeltel
Thank me skeltal
Thank mr skeltal
thank mr skeltal
Thank mr skeltal
...
thank mr skeltal
Thank mr skeltal