ITT you give me your best dark jokes

ITT you give me your best dark jokes

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niggers

Why do aethiopians have thin arms and round bellies?

Because they never work and eat all day!

...

thank mr skeltal

why did the chicken cross the road?
>niggers

Why are niggers jealous of dog shit?

Because it eventually turns white and looses its smell.

thank mr skeltal

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves

Jk he hasn't opened it yet

thank mr skeltal

thank mr skeletal

b-but this picture is a png file..

thank mr skeltal

What's orange and hanging in my back yard?

Shut up. He's my nigger and I'll paint him whatever color I want!

thanks mr. skeltal

Whats the difference between niggers and dog shit?

Obamas dick

Fuck that. Sauce on that handjob pic. Jokes are for Mexicans. The only laughing I'll be doing is out of my penis.

Shiiit I just posted the same joke. You beat me to it.

...

Fucking kek

one in a hundred

Actually made me lawl hard

CPD from last thread
Why were the kids at sandy hook so disappointed?
They wanted books, all they got were magazines
Why is it so hard to kidnap Ethiopians?
They fall through the holes in the shopping cart
How do you tell if an Ethiopian is pregnant?
Hold it up to a light
How do you hold an Ethiopian rave?
Tape a piece of toast to the ceiling
Girl: Daddy, I don't want to go to school.
Dad: Ok but you know the rules *zip*
Girl: Dad your dick tastes like shit
dad: Your brother didn't want to go either.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
Cornchips
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The one live baby on the bottom eating its way out.
What's the difference between a six-year old and Ford Mustang?
I don't have a Mustang in my garage.
Whats the hardest part of microwaving a baby?
My dick.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
Chewing the Wheelchair.
Whats the difference between a Banker and a Pedophile?
The banker will give you two fives for a ten, the Pedo will give you two tens for a five.
And my favorite...
Why are Orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.

I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back "I know."

key that's good

what do you call 5 black people having sex?

a threesome

...

what's the opposite of christopher reeves?

christopher walken

But there's 5 of them.

how come orphans cant play baseball?

they dont know where home is

If only Africa had mosquito nets, we could save millions....of mosquitoes from dying of aids.

This faggot never took US History

3/5 compromise...

thank mr skeltal

Three Clergy Men are walking down the street.
Priest: This new couple just who always sits in the front pew have the cutest little boy. Any idea how I could blow him?
Muslim: Of course, a car bomb!
Priest: No I mean like screw them!
Rabbi: Out of what?

thank mr skeltal

thank mr skeltal

I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.

thank mr skeltal

my girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day.

thats an awfully big word for a five year old.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yeah, they found her Head and Shoulders in the glovebox

Not really a joke, but this happened today.

>be in van coming back from work together with colleagues, around 7 dudes
>roadblocked by police and firetrucks on bridge
>goddamn we gotta go around the whole way
>go around whole way (we need to pick someone up right behind the roadblock)
>pick up guy, he talked to firemen who said there was a suicidal dude wanting to jump from the bridge in the water
>aight, we drive on and wonder if the guy jumped or not
>after a while we stop at a gasstation
>hear sirence approaching
>medical-van with an image of a scuba-diver on the side races by
>everybody laughs

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
Nail the other hand to the floor.

How do you fit 40 babies in a bowl?
Blender

How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips

How do you starve a black man?
Hide the food stamps under his work boots.

"Hey. I have black people in my family tree. Pretty sure they're still hanging there."

What do you get when you skin a dead baby?
An erection.

How many Jews can you fit in a Honda Civic?
46. One in each seat and the rest in the ashtray,

how did they make copper wire in the 40's?
Two jews and a penny.

What's pale, orange, and floats in a pool?
A dead baby.

What's black, orange, and at the bottom of a pool?
Same baby a week later

how many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, and a really big light bulb.

I totally read the first post as "Dad Jokes" and I was like... y'all motherfuckers have some sick dads.

Now this, I like

thank mr skeltal

what does an old lady's pussy smell like?

depends

>My friend of 10 years beat himself to death.
He just couldn't stop stroking.

Where is he?

Dark humour is like a kid with cancer... it never gets old.

thank mr skeltal

thank mr skeltal

Kwashiorkor

What's the hardest part about being a pedo?
Fitting in

thank mr skeltal

thank mr skeltal

What's black and screams?
Stevie wonder answering the iron

How do jew pedos lure in children?
"Hey kids wanna buy some candy?"

thank mr skeltal

It's Reeve, not "Reeves"

Why were the twin towers disappointed when they ordered pizza?

They asked for pepperoni and got plane

Source?
This is not a joke.

ok im down

What's Osama bin Ladin's favorite recipe?

Big Apple Crumble.

Did you hear about the peso with asthma?

He could only breathe in little snatches.

*pedo

thanks mr skeletal

Thanks mr skeltal

What's the difference between a rebellious chicken and a hooker?

One clucks defiance....

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

You can't unload a truckload of dead babies with a pitchfork.

Whoops.

Worst part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair
The joke? Found that on a popsicle stick

Best ever

thank mr skeltal

Thanks Mr. Skeletal.

Not mine, found this on Sup Forums a few days ago

Thank Mr. Skeletal

statistics say that 9/10 people enjoy gang rape

Source, mate.
Please.

How do you rehabilitate a dilapidated whore?
Stick a ham leg in and pull the bone out.

youtube.com/watch?v=YWdD206eSv0

Lost

what's the different between a pizza and a jew?
you take the pizza out of the oven before it burns

what's the difference between a nigger and a sack of shit?
the sack

if you drop a nigger and a jew from a building which one lands first?
the nigger, because shit is heavier than ash

a white man is walking around when he sees a massive, towering nigger walking with a pet parrot on his shoulder, he goes and asks:
"excuse me, but what animal is that?"
"a nigger!"
(this one doesn't really work when written)

what are 3 niggers dropping from a skyscraper doing?
good

two niggers are in a car, who's driving?
the police

where do you fit 5 jews in a car?
3 on the back and 2 on the front because the holocaust never happened

two white men are walking around when one sees a nigger with a TV in his hands:
"hey! that's mine! oh no wait, mine's home washing the dishes"

Whats worse then being foced to wear ugly vest from your gandma in public?
>Wearing an ugly vest from your middle eastern garandma in public

Knock Knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

than =/= then

FUCK!

Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?

Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

Thank mr skeltal

Dumb fuck

What's a five year olds dick smell like?
*breathes in your face*

thanks mr skeltal

thank mr skeltel

Thank me skeltal

Thank mr skeltal

thank mr skeltal

Thank mr skeltal

...

thank mr skeltal

Thank mr skeltal