Be the best graduate of the entire university in your city, with the highest average ever in history

>be the best graduate of the entire university in your city, with the highest average ever in history
>have extreme suicidal thoughts

Is this common?

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Yea,
Suck it up and go make shit loads of money

at least you have the graduation thing

>be me, 0 interest in everything, already failed 2 classes on lawschool
>left wife and regret it now, she was fired and lives on another city now
>suicidal thoughts

Intelligence comes with depression. You're more capable are realizing the world is a shitty place

if you're so smart?
why dont you tell me?

This sounds hauntingly true.

I don't know if it's common. Just wondering. For the sake of curiosity.

Do you not love music?

It's completely common, makes you wish you were stupid sometimes and be as oblivious as all the idiots ate

Not sure if I am intelligent or just too redpilled I've had a shit life so far can't sleep either big up op I never even did uni and I'm a 25 year old virgin

Painfully true. The consciousness about the world has its price.

I'm 24 and I can't sleep either. I've had a girl for 2 years but bj doesn't really count as sex. We broke up after she became absolutely crazy. Now she's ultra religious so I can't even go back to her. Drinking a lot right now.

was in college for 5 years but haven't managed to get a degree. was diagnosed with epilepsy the week before my first semester. girls would constantly use me and trick me for shit. eventually had to have brain surgery 4 years ago. manage to get some pussy when I was 25 from a long friend within the department I was studying. was a casual thing. anyway, I now have a job and am looking forward to, hopefully, finishing college.

>girls would constantly use me and trick me for shit
I can relate, but that was a long time ago (2007, 2008). I had this completely false impression that I could impress them by being docile.

Any user that's reading me right now, you can NEVER be/act docile in front of a girl. They WILL think treat you like a tool and they WILL think of you as a mere puppet.

this is why most "smart" people adapt the use of psychotropic drugs. the removal of consciousness from a bland, unimaginative, and caustic world for a few hours a day is refreshing to say the least.

That's why I drink, and I recently started to drink a lot.

It really helps.

at women studies?

Computer engineering.

if that's true then good on you

work half-time and do sports like running, gym, bjj or mma

serotonin will easily kill any depression

also stop attention whoring on gay chan

agreed.

I have the same problem.

>do sports like running, gym, bjj or mma
I love mma and I did gym a year ago. Will restart gym asap, but local gym is filled with local gang shitters. Gotta find a solution to that; not gonna attend the other city's gym because I can't afford it atm.

>serotonin will easily kill any depression
I get a shot of serotonin once in a year, randomly, naturally, when I feel like life is kinda good, for various reasons

>also stop attention whoring on gay chan
Just wanna hear other people's opinions on this shit, live. Reading google or whatever archives doesn't enable you to ask the posters direct questions.

Nigga if you so smart why dont you learn to chill the fuck out? Dont take life seriously, it ends with you dying anyway so who cares?

Holy shit, dude. Don't fucking INJECT serotonin. Do you even have a prescription? Produce it naturally.

If you want consulting I can recommend you a guy called Aaron Clarey. He can give you proper advice for cash. youtube.com/user/AaronClarey

I have suicidal thoughts too, and I'm absolutely not the best graduate of the entire university in my city
Keep it up OP, once you'll have the money you will start to live it up, think about it. Then you could travel and shit, leave all your fucking problems

love you OP be strong

I know things seem impossible to solve sometimes, problems keep coming, but trust me it will be solved.

its ok OP she still loves u shes not impressed by ur grades or school shes impressed by u and who u are and ur devotion to her

the world need people like u dont kill urself.
WE..I..NEED U OP
BE STRONG MOTHERFUCKER!

Well you did do a whole shit ton of busy work for no reason other than someone told you to.
You've accomplished literally nothing by doing well in school.
You've dedicated your life so far to doing what others told you to for an all mighty sheet of paper.
Once you actually enter the real world you're a lot more likely to be less depressed.
But in the real world everyone still wants to kill them selves.

Trust me. If you are like this, too smart, too red-pilled, living with all kinds of bad feels - there is only one thing you must make an absolute priority.

The only reason I am alive today is the following. Fwiw:
Always make sure your your love life is in order or on the right track at least. Don't get caught up in any beta or robot self-talk and if you find the mentality of places like this infecting your perception of reality, abandon them with extreme prejudice.

Do not focus on sexual conquests but on only pursuing someone you can admire and enjoy spending time with.

There will be slumps. Sometimes long ones. For this reason always make sure you have an interest that is central enough to your life that you have at least a marginal reason to get up in the morning - other than money/career, working out, otaku (social cancer), gaming, politics, and porn. This will carry you through the slumps.

All this to say, that being loved and having someone in your court is about as worthy a thing life can offer. Put your energy into that before you are too cynical and burnt out.

Also, learn and commit yourself to simple, seated, breath-concentration meditation, no less than 25 mins a day.

The funny thing is, I lately learned to chill out. It does help, but waking up the next morning restores the fucked up thoughts fully, and I really realize nothing should truly matter because the universe is so fucking vast... and we all die in the end anyway. It's so hard, dude...

You misunderstood me user, I produce it naturally. Whenever I feel life is good (VERY, very fucking rare, and the longer I live, the rarer it becomes) I get a natural shot of it.

>once you'll have the money you will start to live it up
I think most people who have the abilities, which I believe I do have as well, aren't as lazy and dramatic as I am.

It may sound strange to you, but yes, even though I'm the best student, I am extremely lazy. I am intelligent enough to solve problems much quicker than the people around me, but I really am lazy as fuck. And I can't fight it, it just comes back instantenously whenever I try to get rid of it.

I can safely say that being lazy is one of the most horrid tragedies of life I can imagine.

That's one of the things that truly still keeps me going. For example, I have a loving family, but they just don't fucking understand.

About her, I've been suffering for 10 long years. She used me from the very beginning. We only met in groups of friends, almost (99% cases) never alone. She knew I'm good with modern tech, languages and math so she just kept using me. The horror.

I'm trying user, that's why I spent 30 minutes today literally walking around a room, thinking what my suicide would cause.

One of the merits of a suicide is not having to deal with the deaths of loved ones and that's a really big factor for me. I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking about the deaths of my loved ones. About family. I don't have a lot of friends but about them too.

polymatharchives.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-inappropriately-excluded.html

The world hates those that are it's best and brightest.

/thread

OP you are a whiney faggot

It's true, but not "/thread".
Recognizing the shittiness of living in this world is only the first half of the 4 noble truths. Overcoming suffering despite it, is the second half.
Without this the only sensible option is suicide. And anyone who advocates for that as best strategy for dealing with garden variety sevantism/depression is just midguided at best.

OP if you ever need a friend to game with I am always up for the job even though I suck at vidya games. You could always try hangin out with a irish madman that streams dota 2 by the name of shaneomad hes a eccentric and happy motherfucker who will help anyone steams Blue Jinjo by the by.

This is actually true fr those of us who just *suffer* but can only come from someone we trust for it to be helpful. When it comes from such a person it actually generates a kind of laughing at ourselves. Which is good.

Look up Sagar Faldu. Double major valedictorian at UCONN. Committed suicide.

>redpill
>redpilled
>pls redpill me on x

I hope you do commit suicide

I suddenly started doing well in high school when I realized that with only a minimum effort (instead of NO effort at all) I could excel. I started getting perfect grades by only analysing shit at home for 5-20 minutes.

Once I started college, I broke up with my only ever gf after 2 years of relationship. My beloved mom died 1 week after I started college. She is honestly the reason I've been doing so well in college. I promised her once in my life I'd be one of the best in the school as she always wished I was, and I always keep promises.

I am extremely alone. I understand why the women don't flock to me because I'm short with only 5'7". I want to have a girl, but I'm just a bit too socially awkward to just go and pick up one, I just can't. Having a girl would solve a big problem in my life.

I have a lovely family too, and I don't share my problems with them 'cause just like you, they do not understand
It's the reason why I don't kill myself, I don't want to hurt people I love
Hard situation

>in the next week I plan to discuss with my brother and father the reason I am so shitty
>have to somehow explain my suicidal ideations, and that I don't find suicide offensive.
>stuck between being happily suicidal 75% of the time, and having aspiration to live with the fear that I will lose my "soul" the other 25% of the time.
>if I stay depressed, I need to find a career in fucking art.
>if I kill my soul and go for a "successful" career, I lose my entire sense of self.

>summer
fuck off OP you are an edgelord with depression who thinks he is smart.

Do it! Please kill yourself who cares?

Same guy here.
Listen to me bro. I am only 5'8" and it only rules out women who think about shit like that and women who are taller than average.
I havent online dated in 7 years because I actually met an amazing woman after my divorce on Lavalife (I was skeptical but two of my friends met their wives on there).
You don't have to be great looking. Both those guys were heavily balding and got average looking but totally great women. Mine was only slightly out of my league physically.
Knowing where you are on the food chain and moving within your element is a big part of romantic success. Anything else is delusion, disappointment and sadness.

As for your personality, it's probably at least typical of someone of your intelligence level. The only solution is intelligent women who get it. They exist. They are just hard to find irl. Easier online.

Stay away from stupid, cancerous apps for millenials and free sites like p.o.f. Only people who are invested in finding lasting happiness are worth meeting for people like us.

But it IS a numbers game. DO not take negative encounters and rejection personally. After my separation I estimated, based on just people I meet daily, that an average of 1 in 200 women would be a good fit, from both our perspectives. So I went into it, resolved to burn through about 100-200 shitty dates before meeting a potential mate. Just think of it like taking care of business. Because of my filtering process I only went through about 15 actually.
Most cuties are 5'7" and shorter.

Yes you're nothing special so please kys

I care
But if YOU wanted to kill yourself I would not give a single fuck you son of a bitch

I was suicidal for awhile. long story but life was objectively shitty and I almost did it. you can get through it & it's 2 parts really

1. learn to accept life's ever increasing burden. life is genuinely painful, and if you stop expecting it to get easier or fair you learn to be strong. you can take on an adversarial mindset (me against the world) or Buddhist xen mindset, but you have to mentally make yourself stronger.

2. address the external things of your life that you can. if your family are vampires, cut them out. if you're poor get a job. if you're fat get healthy, ect.

it's a kind of rehabilitation nobody will help you with, but you can do it bc I did and i'm not extraordinary. this is all cliche advice probably but I feel a lot of empathy for anyone who wants to harm themselve & I need to type it out :(

No, not cliche, you're right on.
The people who bear down, rationally examine the situation, do what it takes and get through it ALL say virtually the same thing. It just rings more true because they speak from experience.

Not easy, but doable.

Thanks user. I appreciate your offer, but I already have a few friends I (not often) game with. It's almost always in a closed group. Much appreciated though.

I understand you. It really is hard, but in my case I would probably just do it.

I've browsed for a while

If everything goes well, I will most definitely take your advice user. Thank you so much.

Thank you. I think I started to learn to accept the burden of life today (even though I thought I accepted it many times before). Today was definitely the day to make the decision. But I still really fear for my loved ones, for when they die. Death is so painful when it's your loved ones.
Dying myself, I don't fear it nearly as much though.

Depression correlates with high intelligence. Go see a doctor about it; sleep, eat and live right and it'll work out. Exercise too.

Thank you for a great response, anons. I will definitely keep your responses in mind. OP signing off.