Do you disgusting faggots even bidet?

Do you disgusting faggots even bidet?

How does it feel knowing that literally 99% of you are sitting there with shit on your assholes?

Dogs have cleaner assholes than the lot of you. You walk around after taking a shit and wiping like a caveman with fucking paper with shit just sitting there - fucking SITTING there - on your asshole - caking on and penetrating the skin leaving an unscrubbable mess that no shower or bath can eliminate.

I literally dread having to shit anywhere besides my toiled because I'll be reduced to using toilet paper and smearing the shit around like a fucking savage.

tl;dr - bidet master race reporting in.

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I only shit once every 2 days so I always take a shower after a shit.

Pic related - my weapon of choice to defend against swamp ass and promote hygiene and full bowel eliminations.

Somehow I manage.

Only true faggots use bidets.

Bidets only work if you use soap.

I was like you user until I learned to bidet.

Literally cost me like $40 online. I'd have paid $400 for the level of clean I'm feeling day to day.

Seriously, I used to strip naked and shower and dig in there to get clean.

Now I bidet.

Girls love this shit too. Every time a girl uses my bathroom I'm complimented. They know my ass is clean.

Bidets are invented for women..

>dog's have cleaner assholes than the lot of you.
yeah, well I have a cleaner tongue.

Not true. If by "work" you mean better than a shower, then I still disagree. With a bidet it can shoot water up your ass which you can shoot back out, thereby jet cleaning inside your asshole.

>Hurr if your ass is clean you must be a faggot

Fucking disgusting fat virgin detected.

A true dedicated bidet was designed for women.

The bidet I am describing is made for men and women.

Try it user - it will change your life.

Water doesnt kill germs bro

Bidets are popular in Europe because they have very little water and don't shower often. Ew.

Technically, no you don't - even after they lap up their own shit.

>How does it feel knowing that literally 99% of you are sitting there with shit on your assholes?


I thinks mommy needs to teach OP how to wipe his ass again....

You make a good case OP, maybe I'll get a fucking bide, who knows.

So what you're saying is you'd leave your ass hole all covered with shit and not spray it off sqeaky clean because it doesn't disinfect? Nigger are you fucking retarded? That's like saying you'd leave an oil spill on the road because the cleaning solution doesn't prevent more oil from spilling on the same spot.

There is literally no defense for this kind of savage behavior.

I'm sure none of you actually are even aware of how bad you all smell or how much bacteria you walk around with day to day after the savage act of wiping.

You can use a whole roll, WITH baby wipes, and you'll never be as clean as I get in about 5 seconds.

It will change your life, user. Go for it. It's a basic attachment easily found online. A monkey could install it.

Im all about the bidet but if dont use it with soap youre just putting water in a pile of shit. It doesnt clean the pile of poo. Now you just have a wet pile of poo. Then you have to dry yourself which brings up the towel vs tp debate. Sure towel is nice but how clean would that towel be

Don't try and justify your pegging fetish faggot

Wrong

yep. installed one of these beside the shitter like 7 years ago. i only use a small amount of TP to dry now.

to any naysayers: if you fell face-first into a pile of dog shit you wouldn't just smear it around with paper.

I don't think you're understanding how it works.

It sprays on your asshole and even if you have a pile of shit it just falls straight down into the toilet, leaving your asshole squeaky clean.

You can take a first wipe if it's super nasty, like you have half a shit hanging out, but I generally just use the bidet to take care of everything.

The only thing it doesn't do is dry you. I use one or two pieces of toilet paper simply to dry. 9/10 times I don't see any shit on the toilet paper - no nasty diluted shit water, nothing.

Even a shower can't touch the level of clean you can get with a bidet unless you have a detachable shower head where you can shoot water up there which is essentially the same thing.

>Not an argument.

Thank you user - perfect example of many as to how a bidet can increase sanitation.

Confirmed pegging fetish

Here's your (You)

I second this.
Best $40 and ten minutes of installation I ever spent.

Can I see a video of how these things work?
Does everyone who uses the toilet just share the bidet or what?

i use baby wipes before i wipe with toilet paper. my roommate in college turned me on to it and no i dont feel clean unless i wipe with baby wipes first.

This is an example with the model I use, but anything like this would work:

youtube. com/watch?v=juilRGZXLwM

I don't have the hot water model because I don't have a hot water line by my toilet but tbh after taking a huge shit the cold water is soothing.

Or you could just buy wet wipes instead of getting ass blasted by your own toilet.

>Does everyone who uses the toilet just share the bidet or what?

I live alone so it's not quite an issue but I see what you mean.

The sprayer part itself doesn't touch your ass or get shit on it. Plus it's self cleaning. At least any decent model will be self cleaning.

Exterminate Feminists, Liberals, Muslims, and Jews

>Wiping shit around

What part of this do you not feel should have been abandoned 2000 years ago?

While I agree with you I'm not sure what that has to do with having a clean asshole.

Baby wipes, fool! I live brown crusty free

plus you're washing your hands with soap and water after anyway (hopefully)

Bidet, mate!

maybe if you added some pork to your diet your shit wouldn't be such a nasty ass halal mess that you'd have to shower your ass hole every time you shat.
NORMAL people don't have ass disasters from common bowel movements because normal people don't worship a moon god and fuck goats.

tldr: tp is ALL you need to clean your ass if you're a normal, healthy non-muslim person

ass blast shit stain reporting in

dude eat more vegetables and your shit wont stain , or stink

Oh yeah?

Try this - wipe with your baby wipes, then wrap it around your finger and stick it up your ass. Does it come out covered in shit? (No need to answer, I know it does) Then you're not really clean. As you move around after you shit, your asshole will relax and start to push that shit out as a ring around your ass.

Here's another test, an hour after you shit, wipe again. You will see brown. With a bidet you'll get none of that.

Only if you fart.

Yes, but I think anyone who is as interested in hygiene enough to spray their ass after they shit would be used to washing their hands.

We get it you love having shit going up your ass.

All people shit, all shit is dirty, wiping with paper is literally caveman tier.

Honestly, I would love to get a bidet.

I would consider this but it seems like you can get 90% as clean by just using baby wipes, or even just wetting paper. Usually when I shit in public restrooms I just bring a bottle of water with me and apply some. It may not be totally as clean as water actually being squirted up your bum, but it's got to be pretty close.. and it's a hell of a lot more convenient and less expensive than having a specific device.

I suppose if I ever own a home one day I'd consider it.

I love shit coming out of my ass and then having no evidence of said shit hanging around after.

If you do enjoy having shit on your ass all day then by all means, continue being a caveman.

Plus, my asshole ain't loose enough for water to be shot up my ass. Unless you take it up the rear, then I could understand your little anal fixation.

>More convenient than having a specific device

You turn it on and then off, easier than ripping off a piece of TP

>if I ever own a home one day I'd consider it

It's a $40 attachment. I rent - it's coming with me.

>Usually when I shit in public restrooms I just bring a bottle of water with me and apply some.

I need to try this. If it's a solo bathroom I waddle over to the sink and wet the TP. Yes, it looks as funny as it sounds.

Neither does soap.

Yeah I'd imagine you dont want that evidence. Asshole has to be clean when your offering yourself.

I have one you fuckwit
I love my asshole being clean and shit free.
Only idiots use paper
Lesser savages even use their hand

After you shit your asshole is relaxed. However, I actually pucker up so it doesn't get shot all the way in there. Even if it does, just squirt it out. Win win cause it'll be even cleaner in there.

>Not wiping your ass with Lysol wipes

Subhuman scum how do you sleep

>shot up your ass
Nigga are you retarded?
It just sprays ON your asshole to get rid of anything outside your intestines.
This isn't a fucking enema thread.

A (You) for you as well.

Werent you aware? OP is adamant on telling us about his anal fetishes.

Then why do the French always smell so horrible?

>still touching your hand to your shit
>fucking degenerates

>Also not an argument.

I'm not planing on let anyone fuck me in the ass so... not a big deal, calm down you queer go suck your boyfriends dick.

In the United Snakes, that is a drinking fountain.

I'd do it if it came with my toilet.

I'm sure there's a trap/sissy/mental illness thread you can samefag in.

This thread is for god tier evolved males who are self aware of their hygiene and bodily functions.

Do you even know what lysol is? Shit is cleansed by it. Stay dirty enema fag.

>claims to be op
>now, even he believe he's op

If you weren't fucking 7 you'd know how a bidet works just by looking at it. If you have a detachable shower head, put it on shower, and hold it 4 inches from your ass. no water will enter your asshole.

But I take it you're gay enough that diapers are the only way you can live so your ass may gape enough.

It is still an asshole friend.

Clearly your not self aware of your sexuality.

Yeah, I'd use my stove if it came with food...

How fucking retarded can you be?

>samefag
Nice going faggot, but no.

Because they're all Frenchmen.

>Hygiene
>HURR YOU MUST BE GAY

Your homosexual projections are brighter than the sun, user.

BTW

You say that here, but those incognito tabs you have open say another thing.

>go to Indian restaurant
>chef's hand is covered in shit
>looks like he's holding mud
>rubs .01% of it off with lysol
>hand still covered in human shit
>dude its lysol, you'll be fine making food.

>still not using one of these

again this, please stop, you're being deliberatively stupid.

>Water doesnt kill germs bro
Neither do most soaps. They just help to remove the majority of them.

Soap and water > water > paper

here

>current year
>pretending like degenerates still bother hiding their porn


When your family knows you're trans indian, shit kin, they don't care what you waste bandwidth on

>y having shit on your ass all day then by all

when i was in korea, it said enima in the mall bathroom bidet

>deliberatively stupid.

Ok, you got your guaranteed reply. Bet it doesn't feel as good as having a squeaky clean asshole after a massive dump.

Ok.

I still use my toilet even though it doesn't come with a bidet. lolwtf

>incognito tabs
found the 13 year old faggot who has to share a pc with their family and hide their browsing habits.

That will give you hemorrhoids because it has to be shoved up there.

The water from a bidet will not.

This doesn't make sense.

So you literally never upgrade anything to perform something your current product doesn't do?

You understand this is in addition to your current toilet, correct?

the funnel is thin, has no edges and you can always use lube. you are not going to get hemorroids.

>still not cleaning the inside aswell as the outside

you're clearly not poor

Keep using your thin toilet paper that cakes the shit or the little queer fountain. You filth would never understand lysols glory.

Holy fucking b8

Absolute cancer

That's enrich for you.

On an honest note, if you haven't tried one it's fucking glorious.

Good ones spray water to get the shit off your ass, then warm air and dry it. I was at a Paris hotel on business and when I got home to having no bidet I wanted to shower after every shit. I can't go back. ..

It's like eating a medium rare, prime t-bone and then asked to go back to well done, select flank steak, you just can't do it.

Heh

>It has no edges
>Can't cause hemorrhoids

No.

Nope.

But if I was, I'd still buy it after knowing the wonders it can perform.

That's engrish for you*

>Tonight is the night I turn off autocorrect.
>It ducking sucks