Why aren't you on American Ninja Warrior?

Why aren't you on American Ninja Warrior?

Matti Semen is based.

because I can barely run a kilometer without sweating
And I'm not even fat

What's he doing with a cheerio where his belly button should be?

They tried to spin Ninja Warrior UK as a comedy like Total Wipeout.

What the fuck? It's an insanely hard assault course that Olympians struggle with. The competitors all have massive respect for each other, and a shared brotherhood that comes from coming together with the same purpose - training to beat a hellish course.

And they play it like a comedy show with a fucking laugh track. Nobody cleared the first round because they didn't select competitors for athleticism. What a travesty.

My next door neighbor is going to be on soon.

I'm an alcoholic so I'm drinking empty calories every night and I'm sleeping most of the day

Burger version isn't even worth talking about

>it's a "women of ninja warrior" episode
>it's a "chink is too short to do the body prop and falls in the water" episode

>t's a "women of ninja warrior" fail in the first part episode

I always thought I'd fucking kill at Ninja Warrior, I have a very good strength to mass ratio and I'm pretty agile. A few years of smoking/drinking/drugs set me back in the stamina department though, but if I remember correctly it's not really that type of challenge.

I was born with no arms and no legs
I typed this with a chopstick strapped to my forehead

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for my entertainment

My high density skeletal frame while making me damn near immovable at blocking and able to carry heavy loads does not lend it's self well to anything involving jumping or climbing.

A Game show were I get to run over people....win that bitch right quick.

The best at ninja warrior are always short men with massive upper body strength and stamina

>stronk womyn gets 5 minute long bio about how stronk she is
>fails on the first obstacle

These fucking editors are god tier

user, you're fat aren't you?

My neck hurfs typinh

>""""""""ninja"""""""""""""""""warrior"""""""""

Ninja were just spies. It's retarded they have this reputation as some crazy martial artists n shit.

>Britbong with based Staurt Hall
>his genuine enthusiasm ans excitement for the game shone through in his commentary
>got fingered for kiddie fiddling
>replaced by Dick & fucking Dom

A little part of me died that day

The longer their intro is, the shorter their run will be.

>Ninja were just spies. It's retarded they have this reputation as some crazy martial artists n shit.

It's that way in Japan, too, though. It's not like it's just a Western misconception, it's popular Japanese mythology.

sweating has nothing to do with being bad at running

It's pure power. Calf muscles that can truck along with seven Mexicans on my back trying to bring me down to no avail. The Ability to catch fridges sliding down stairs. No Desk unmovable, no couch to far.

Until you hit 50 and your muscles can't keep with your skeletal mass and your spine compresses making you shrink 4 inchs and now live the rest of your life drinking away the pain.

Sweating is how your body cools off. Everyone sweats when they exert themselves. If you said you can barely run a kilometer without collapsing or without losing your breath, then you'd have something resembling a meaningful point.

should've moved to burgerland and played american football

Yeah. Nah.
Shinobi were more into espionage.
Ninja were killers.

Did play American football in high school. That all ended by a late hit because niggers don't like getting knocked over like children by a fullback.

t. narutofan96

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His bellybutton is gross