I had surgery on my brain about a year ago which removed a very small portion of my left frontal lobe. Everything I look at, I think about how it is designed and how it works. My mind races a lot and comes up with random ideas, that sometimes aren't necessarily logical or make any sense. I have a very heightened sense for my surroundings and I notice obscurities around me almost instantly. I have an obsession with listening to listening to music while I work because it helps me focus. I ask people frequently about the hows and whys, even if they don't care at all about it. It's somewhat difficult for me to care about things I see as unnecessary, even though I know they are helpful to some extent (like school). I'm very arrogant in the sense that I believe I have the ability to learn and do a better job when I do things by myself. I rarely ever lose my temper and hardly ever let emotions overrule logic. Finally, its difficult for me to care about other people unless they directly and/or potentially benefit me. In other words, its hard for me to build relationships I don't already have. Does anyone else act like this and view the world kind of like I do?
I had surgery on my brain about a year ago which removed a very small portion of my left frontal lobe...
sounds like ur a dick m8
honestly I kind of am
I feel you
D.
We act pretty much the same but I try to be anti-social. Doesn't work when you live with two other people who like to invite their friends and co-workers.
I just like being alone damnit. People suck too much.
do you care about girls at all. For me I can give a rats ass about caring for other dudes and shit, but when I find a girl who isn't basic as fuck I tend to fall for em pretty hard easily
OP here, I agree with you 100%. I feel most comfortable and my mind is clear when I'm alone. But at the same time I have a pretty good social life with people.
I cant stand basic white girls who only have the intent to enjoy life via partying and so forth. Its an instant turn off for me. I dont wanna be a dick, but im a good looking dude and I have had a fair amount of gorgeous girls come at me, only thing is I fucking hate them for what they really are. I dated this one girl who was special cause she had a very open and intelligent mind, only reason I stopped dating her was cause she got kinda weird and I lost all feeling of attraction to her anyways
I have a social life I don't want. I planned to stay with my mother and kill myself after she died but then a friend came to me wanting to move out so I said sure. Didn't know we would be having people over several days a fucking week.
But that being said, normal people either need or in the very least strongly want social interaction so I can't avoid it until my year here is up. Then I think I'm buying a gun if they're not illegal.
It sounds like you're an asshole teenager. You'll probably grow out of it but might not.
OP here, damn sorry to hear that (also dont kill yourself). My mom actually passed away a month ago also. That being said, I have never experienced depression or anxiety, I just have a drive to work at what I want in life.
did the surgery change your personality, or were you like this anyway?
i remember when i first started using weed. my sense of artistic impression definitely increased, even when not stoned. i remember standing waiting for a bus, admiring the facade of an old bank and then thinking 'shit, this is awesome'.
The first part sounds identical to me
>removed a very small portion of my left frontal lobe
That's a bit of a long winded way of saying you're autistic
i'm not sure, aside from view things a bit differently, i don't feel different but I have noticed that I have become much more intuitive. Also I smoked weed for the first time like 2 months after the surgery and yes, the experience alone opened up a different kind of thinking for me.
Sorry for your loss bud.
That being said, I will certainly go through with killing myself but I have anywhere between 10-25ish years before she dies and that's not counting if she gets cancer again. Tough luck to my sister but I fucking hate being alive.
I lost my drive to succeed a few years ago. But I do wish you the best.
OP here. Then you have 10-25 years to find something you appreciate. Honestly travel the world (i would suggest Europe) and find someone that you cant stop thinking about. I was fortunate enough to be born in Germany (mom was from another country in Europe) and grow up in the states. It gives you a completely new perspective of the world.
...
>Implying I can get time off work to travel
If I didn't have this shit job I'd consider it. That being said I live paycheck to paycheck and I'm slowly saving for a car. That being said I dislike driving as well. The feeling of just turning the wheel so I plow into a semi was pretty strong.
I'm thinking I'd do it on a bad day. I've nearly jumped into traffic on my way to work a few times, but none of the cars were going fast enough to kill me relatively quickly.
people think traveling is expensive and hard to do if you dont have money. False. Take up school and study abroad. Put the effort in to finding a new job that suites your needs and has higher exceptions and rewards. There are jobs that offer travel as part of the work.
Should also note that a buddy of mine bought a two way ticket to france and lived there for less than $20 a day for over a month.
I'll look into the traveling but I'm not sure about how I'm going to afford to travel, pay for this damned apartment, go back to school and save for a car.
At most, I can try. I'll likely give up in a couple days and sleep though, depression is a bitch and I don't have much energy anymore.
I love cars, especially exotics. I have an instagram that I look at every other day for inspiration. I also have connections that allow me to experience these cars every now and then. A lot of what I do is purely based off of my desire to own one of these cars one day. And so I work.
Point being, find something that you want in life. If you don't know what you want, find it.