I have an Australian professor at uni, and he literally banters everyone in the class, including me, every day...

I have an Australian professor at uni, and he literally banters everyone in the class, including me, every day. If I'm one minute late, he shuts the door on me, opens it a minute later, and pulls me to the front of the room and makes me say "sorry class for being late". How can I banter back Sup Forums? I can't handle the banter in front of everyone, I just fumble and laugh nervously.

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Pull down ya pants bend over and yell "why don't ya slip it in, cobber?!"

Its fucking hilarious, me and me mates do it all the fucking time, cunt.

Break into his house at night then sneak into his room and yell "am i late now???"

be an hero, is easy in your country, you can buy a gun in vending machines

It's super embarrassing guys. All he does is banter. He does this to everyone. He says students have been offended by his banter, and he just says that's just how he was raised. Everyone in Australia just banters each other constantly. "If you can't take it, drop out" ,he always says.

Just say "Sorry for being late, I was with prof's mom"

I will use this. And probably say vegemite is gross or something.

You must get physical. Banter is for the weak. A punch to the face will shut it up for good

But I don't want to get kicked out of uni...

>If I'm one minute late, he shuts the door on me, opens it a minute later, and pulls me to the front of the room and makes me say "sorry class for being late"
That doesn't sound like banter, he's just doing what teachers do.

It's not what about you want. It's about what must be done.

Damn man just throw some shit about his wife holding you up or something. If you're this worried about some dude joking about being late then you're gonna have a hell of a time if you ever end up in some real shit.

Typical clapistan kneejerk reaction right here.

Teachers at uni don't normally give a shit if you come late though

No, it's very banter like. I will be feet from the door and he will close it, look at me through this long rectangular window, laugh at me, make jokes to the class about me, then let me in while the whole class is laughing.

*shoves you to the ground*

Stay out of this.

He isn't married or have a gf

daily reminder my Bulgarian teacher in primary school literally launched a student out of the window when we planted a woopee cushion on his chair

Sounds like the student was the oneto go"woopee"

There are few ways that work in USA user:
- be a tranny;
- be gay/lesbian;
- be brown, muslim, unidentified race;
- be a genderfluid dragonkin;
- be black and yell "muh slavery";
- enlist into the army, serve for 2-3 years, get wounded, go back to his lectures and yell that you're a "wounded warrior";
- dress up in US flags and when he grabs you yell that he's disrespecting the flag, start clapping and singing the anthem of USA.

All of the above should work.

Um, no that will not work...

But you could teach me how to make Szaszłyk

just a heads up, australians drop the mom jokes at about 15-16 years old. After that it's incredibly lame to use them.

Easy, take lamb or beef, slice it into ~ 5cm squares, put it on a skewer, than add paprika, mushrooms, onion, bacon, than meat, paprika, shrooms etc. again.

Put it on a well lit up grill or over a camp fire and wait till it's all done.

There.

P.S: Remember to marinate the meat few hours before making szaszłyki.

Teachers at uni also drop the "close the door on late students" act. I think this prof is an exception to good bantz so mom jokes should be ok.

Yeah, it's fun breaking teachers. Had one throw a kid against a locker and punch him in the face, didn't even get fired.

Wow thank you! Didn't expect you to deliver. Appreciated!

>"you're late student!!!"
>"not as late as your daughters period after my visit"

there

a perfect come back

Bring a gun to his class. Show him how we really banter in the U S of A.

>this is what passes as a comeback outside of australia

I wish more girls would appreciate that, I didn't have many gfs in my life.

*teleports behind back
*taps shoulder
Take it easy, kid. No need to be so angry all the time.

I was friends with an Australian long ago. Fat and tall with curly hair, lives in NSW now.
I used to honk at him driving on my way to work and he would pull down his pants and spread his ass for everyone on the street. Gavin McInnes style

>mfw mooning has been made a criminal offence as of 2016 in melbourne

Anglo schoolbuildings don't have doorpumps???

Don't worry pol bro, I hope your szaszłyk and kotlet will impress many polish girls.

...

that's not really a banter, that's just being a dick. just ignore it, bantering him will get you reported to the administration and fuck up your education history.

We do have them; what do you mean?

I wish, I got so much to give(cooking, great at sex, educated, 7,5/10 handsome) but women are whores and life hurt so much ameribro. I will forever be the scarred after a relationship guy.

No one is getting my szaszłyk ever again.

He can't counter back the guy is s prof and has authority in that setting.

I can relate to being scarred by terrible women. You deserve someone that loves you.

I wish the best for you.

fucking laughed out loud

Now I just want to get drunk.

Best of luck to you as well amerifriend.

perfect

*BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

Oops, sorry professor tee hee :D :P

If i wanted my comeback, i'd get it off ya mothers chin.

What's next?
Pointing at someone.

That's what we do. Stop copying us: find your own gimmicks.

do it in american way
unsheathe yer gun and point at him

people unironically now use the words like "lad" and "bird" (as in girl) and claim them as australianisms

>be Australian
>put butter and sprinkles on white bread and give it to children as a homecooked meal
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread

keep reminding him his ancestors were filthy criminals and that's funny to see him being a rule freak.

german food is garbage. our cuisine is just british cuisine i.e. fish and chips, english breakfast, tea etc. FAR better than A FUCKING SCHNITZEL

>our cuisine is just british cuisine
Ew.

Tell him to fuck off because you pay his salary.

"Had to go see the head as I was confused why we are importing criminals to act as lecturers"

this never happened fuck off yank

horrendous

Lol why has no one said the obvious one yet

OP get to class on time and avoid the issue all together, and maybe see what more socially skilled people do in that situation

all the aussies i've met were tennis instructors; all mad as fucking hell

>youtube.com/watch?v=5TsNL3uBw1g
Australians aren't very good at doing grown up people things.