Ask a prison guard anything

Ask a prison guard anything

Have you ever felt with a riot? What do you carry?

what do you do with all the confiscated weapons? I know some go into demo and such. But I feel like there would be a big market for an official prison shank.

was that spoon/pencil combo found on a white or a nigger cause it seems a bit too complicated to be african american intelligent engineering (ie, nigger rigged)?

Like I go to thrift stores and consignment stores, and often times I see crudely made machetes and knives. I always think to myself I should start picking them up for a neat collection of DIY weapons

Not yet, but I'm planning on joining the team that deals with that shit. I only carry OC unless I'm on perimeter or transport. Then I get an 870 and a .38 revolver.
They get sent to investigation, and usually just stored in a big evidence room.
Pic is from google, but it was probably made by a white dude. It looks like it's intended to be used as a punch dagger.

How much buttsecks goes on there daily?

hows the pay?

whats the required amount of education?

do they drug test when they hire you? Are there random drug tests?

How old were you when you got the gig?

what kind of promotions can you get?

Whats the highest paid person get at your prison?

About what you'd expect. A lot of them use it to pay off debts.

The majority just beat off or try to get it in during visitation, though. I threw away a few hundred pages of porn during the last shakedown.

Starting pay is VERY generous for the area.

Education requirements depend on the state, but most of them have none. Only for specialized positions.

They drug test at the pre-hire physical, as well as randoms.

I started at 19. Some states require you to be 21.

There are tons of promotions available if you work in the private sector. It's really a great field to turn into a career.

The warden makes ~$60-70k per year.

What is the prison gang hierarchy like there?

Most of what we deal with are Vice Lords, Bloods, Crips, GDs, and Aryan Nation.

whats "the area"?

Also do prison guards make more than police officers?

How long did it take for you to get the job?

You also mentioned a physical, whats that like?
lots of running and lifting or do they just want to make sure you have full mobility?

22 year old college fag here whos really tired of the whole education thing....

Unfortunately for me I was a really really heavy pot smoker for the last 5 years and I just quit monday of this week so I'm looking at another 3-4 months before I can start seriously looking for a better job.

sounds interesting though

any of the gangs ever try to recruit the people who work at the prisons?

>.38 revolver

Jesus Christ, did you bring a lunch through the time machine as well?

All these fucking questions. You won't be landing a job here anytime soon you sissy cuck.

>ask a prison guard anything
>ask anything
>anything

Im sorry did I miss the point of this thread?

Tennessee, but I don't live in-state.

COs make less than cops, but through promotions, you can make far more than anyone in law enforcement, with less qualifications required.

The physical was a joke. No fitness test or anything, just making sure I had full mobility.

If you can clean up your piss enough to pass a test, you should be good to go. Just be sure none of your clothing smells like weed. If a drug dog hits on you, they'll investigate.

They won't try to get anyone to join the gang, but they CONSTANTLY try to bribe staff to bring in contraband. It's all a hustle, though. They may pay you $200 for that pack of Newports, but they'll turn around and sell it for $500.

I was pretty disappointed in their armament choices, too. We've got a full armory with all the good shit in case of a riot, though.

When you were growing up, did you know you wanted to be a fascist shit bag, or was it just one of those "if the shoe fits-" kind of things?

Most of the people in corrections are good folks. I don't know what you're assblasted about.

how muscular+tall do you need to be?

no way theyre guna hire some shrimp or skinny mother fuckers

can you get in trouble for selling the prisoners cigarettes? $200 sounds like a lot of cash for a $10 investment

Is extortion still a big issue within gangs ect?

how often do riots happen?

Bullllshit you cuck pig piece of shit

No requirements at all. It's not about being billy badass. It's about being persuasive and respectable. We had a 5'3" 63-year-old woman straighten up one of the wildest units at the facility. No shit.

Yes. Tobacco isn't allowed on the compound. Any staff caught smuggling things in will not only lose their jobs, but they're likely to go to prison themselves. It still happens all the time, though. Some dumb bitch got caught trying to bring in 16 cell phones just recently.

Why is porn contraband?

shit m8. what happened to the gal? lol howd they catch her? metal detectors?

Definitely. One of their favorite things to do is stand outside the showers while someone is inside, then tell him that they were protecting him, and that he has to pay up.

We've never had one, so I'm not really sure. There was a big fight last night, though. Some dude got poked in the neck.

Have you been in prison?

Are poisonings common enough to warrant a standardized investigative procedure, or would that be rare/expensive enough to necessitate outside help?

Are commissary, worksite, and common materials closely monitored for potential interactions or dangerous refinement?

I wouldn't trust you to guard my dumpster.

how many dead inmates have you found/seen

Because masturbation technically isn't allowed. None of us really care about that, though. It's more of a PREA thing, I guess. If there's no nudity depicted, they're allowed to have it.

She had them tucked in her waistband, and everything fell out in the floor when she took off her duty belt for the checkpoint.

>PREA
What?

You ever roleplay with your wife and have her rape you in the shower just for kicks?

prison rape elimination act
(not op)

How many times you've been killed by niggers?

do the prison guards ever get attacked at your place?

whats the prison population like? Break it down by race %.

>If a drug dog hits on you
Fucking furries.

My former boss is on trial in Alabama for sexual abuse of a child under the age of 12. All memes aside, what is prison ACTUALLY going to be like for him? He was a cocksucker even before I knew he was a pedofag so I hope it's bad.

Kek this OP

That's something we'd investigate within the facility, more than likely. Almost every chemical on-site is required to be non-toxic, though, so it's not something we worry about too much.

As for the other question, yes. We keep a close eye on all of that. We never have issues from commissary, but a lot of our contraband issues, in my opinion, stem from trustee inmates working outside or in the kitchen.

Zero. We've only every had one inmate death. The most dangerous prisons (both for inmates and staff) tend to be maximum security.

...

That's not OP.

Do CO's have any say in like parole hearings and stuff? Like if a guy's a dick (or cool and respectful or whatever) can you guys make a recommendation to the committee?

Probably beat when people find out. Doubt they'd kill him, but roodypoos have their own monkey code. Murderers are ok as long as it's not women/children and rapists are the bottom.

Fucking kek

We've only had one guard seriously injured. She was stabbed several times, but has since recovered and is back at work.

We definitely have a majority of blacks. I'd say it's something like 65% Black, 20% White, 14% Hispanic, 1% Other.

The COs will treat him just like any other inmate, but the inmates will find out VERY quickly. Best case, nobody will speak to him at all. He'll be an outcast with no friends. Worst case, he'll be killed before he can make it into PC. Also likely he'll be raped, or heavily extorted. If he doesn't get into PC as soon as possible, he'll likely be stuck shoving latex gloves full of dope in his ass to make deliveries for Jamal.

How can I make sure people find out? Or will that inevitably happen?

Following up regarding on-site chemicals, it would then be _plausible_ that a patient and knowledgeable inmate could collect enough food or plant extracts to successfully poison another (disregarding that extracted nicotine hidden in spicy food would be far easier)?

No, but disciplinary write-ups will usually extend the amount of time before they're eligible for parole. And trust me, most of them do the most idiotic shit the week of their hearing, so they fuck it up.

We also fine them for offenses. The fines range from $3-5 per offense (there are usually multiple ones stacked up together). These are required to be paid off from their earned wages, which usually amount to ~$0.20/hr

Youre white im guessing

do the black in mates ever give you shit for it?

Do the whites like you more for it?

or does it ultimately not matter since youre a CO and theyre an inmate?

oooo tell us some of the crazy shit they do their last week

>most of them do the most idiotic shit the week of their hearing
Why is this? And do you have any amusing examples?

do you turn a blind eye when the inmates are torturing/killing pedophiles?

I second this question.

How much shit do you guys just let happen cuz fuck it why not?

Or do you seriously try your best and all the shit we hear about is just the stuff that falls through the cracks?

what kinda idiot puts himself in prison for 20 years? why not use your talent and get a degree like you promised mom and dad

FUCKING LOL

also im waiting for this question

Also OP, its in danger ur life 24/7?
Or u can live in "peace"?

It's definitely a plausible scenario. These guys will craft up all sorts of crazy schemes. As long as they manage to keep it hidden long enough, that is.

Most of the time, the other inmates know what new guys have done by the time they've been walked to the housing unit.

I'm white, yeah. The black inmates definitely seem to favor black COs, and a lot of the white inmates dislike black COs. That's about it, though. Most interactions with the inmates are pretty chill. They tend to be respectful once you've earned it, but there aren't many racially-charged issues here.

>Fun fact
During today's shakedown of a unit, I found some old-looking, printed-off white supremacist literature under a black inmate's mattress. That was an odd one.

He's studying the enemy
I would think prison would inadvertently make thugs read often since there's not much else to do

lmao did he give any explanation as to why he had it? Or do you just take it and never get the satisfaction of knowing just what the fuck they were thinking?

>I found some old-looking, printed-off white supremacist literature under a black inmate's mattress.

Old Clayton still up to his usual shenanigans, I see.

Quality kek

I've heard drugs are easier to get in prison than on the streets, any truth to this?

cook county? seen rondonumbanine? lil jay? boss top? d rose? cdai?

Have you considered transferring to a women's prison so that you can sample the goods on demand?

Is op dead?

Most of them are dumb nignogs who only think about the fact that they may get out on parole. They don't seem to understand that it's not gonna happen if they start acting up. Most of it is typical shit, like trying to hide/sell a large amount of contraband right before getting out, or starting fights with other inmates.

I did hear a story about one of them sticking a hot dog in his ass, getting shit smeared all over it, then trying to give it to a CO because "that nigga looked hungry"

I can only speak for myself, but I do whatever I can to prevent that shit. Most of the sex offenders go straight into PC when they come in, though, for this reason.

For example, an inmate might tell me he's gonna kill some guy for being a child molester. On the other hand, it turns out that guy wasn't even raping kiddos. He was 18, had consensual sex with a 16-year-old (in a state where AoC is 17), and her parents turned it in because they were upset about their daughter being a slut.

It's a good career field, my dude. After 4 years in corrections, you can be making way more money than someone who wasted 4 years on a Bachelor's and got some shit job that they hate.

Most days are pretty chill. It's definitely an environment where you need to be alert, but I wouldn't call it "dangerous". The worst thing I have to deal with is some young nigger yelling at me because he wants to look like a hardass in front of his homies. Even that isn't common, as long as you deal with it properly.

nah... this turnkey works Decatur Illinois Womens Prison I bet... sissy seeking attention

I didn't think to ask him about it, because we didn't even confiscate it. The same guy had a Quran with porn and random bible pages shoved in it. Kek.

Nah, I wouldn't say so. The price is 4-10x higher in prison because it's harder to get, and even once it's in, it's very hard to get it moved undetected. The hustlers will make a lot more money off of it in there, though. They may pay a CO $600 for a pound of tobacco, but once they get it all sold, they'll have $1000-1200.

Nah, wrong county.

God, no. False PREA claims are bad enough with male inmates. Don't want to imagine female ones.

Um, I really believe in your case OP that you have all the symptoms of homosexuality. You may not want to be gay, you may yet not realise you are gay, but you are gay. You cannot ejaculate without the thought of holding a nice big cock, having one plough deep into to your rectal canal pounding your prostate. You'd love nothing more than a bear of a man force you head down into the pillow and fuck you till you bleed. The homosexuality is deep within you my son, release it and be free from your bonds.

Oh look! It's the idiot ruining the thread. Oh god! How badass you are

Can you just off yourself already beta fag?

Would you have freed Andy Dufresne?

What's the most outrageous contraband you've caught someone with?

Define "freed"

Probably the massive, butcher-knife-looking shank I found hidden in the bottom of a toilet. That left the biggest impression on me, just because of how deadly that thing could have been.

I haven't found much in the way of cool makeshift shit. Mainly just dope dealer ledgers, porn, and makeshift lighters. I don't know how those fuckers don't electrocute themselves to death with that nigger-rigged shit.

Freed from the mortal plane. B)

How was your first week working there?

Yeah. Im pretty sure people in prison dont take too kindly to cops.

Well, my first few weeks were training. My first actual week working was nothing but searching cells because of a lockdown. That was fun, but you also have to strip search when you do that, so I had to stare at a lot of dicks.

Can confirm that the "BBC" meme is just a myth.

...

Any badass hitman inmate that don't run with a gang? That spend all day doing push ups and sit ups and shit? Waiting for their opportunity to stealthily take out any CO when there's a blackout of some sort?

Basically is there a deadshot/deathstroke like inmate?

This right here is a nigga who reads way too many comic books.

Oh yeah I'd say close to 65% of our inmates are Deathstroke type of guys.

This one mule had to smuggle him in his katana up his ass.

...

Most of those guys are the ones you find in maximum. Min/Med is mostly drug-related shit.