When i look at the western media, i'm just amazed how they stigmitize joke as being offensive, racist or some shit. What is hard for me to understand, since here, in Russia, our jokes about some nationalities are much more harsher.
Of course, i understand that culture is different, and maybe your such jokes really have racist origination, but we do not. As i see, such jokes are actually the red flag that there are no actually racism towards these groups. 'cause existence of this jokes proves that for most of the population stereotypes about these nations are laughable, hence not true. We have a lot of jokes about georgians, armenians and jews, but only very little portion of people believe in stereotypes about them. More then that, these jokes were invented mostly by these nations themselves. Yeah, "antisemitic" jokes were invented by jews. Because these stereotypes are laughable. Again, we have different cultures, but have anyone every tried to look up if jokes about blacks were invented by blacks themselves?
Tl;dr - "racist jokes" are not actually racist
>'cause existence of this jokes proves that for most of the population stereotypes about these nations are laughable, hence not true.
But stereotypes ARE true for the most part, that's why they exist.
A stereotype or racist joke based on a falsehood would be retarded, and no one would ever use or encourage it because it doesn't make sense.
let me tell one "racist joke", which was invented by nation that is laughed at in this joke:
Armenian household. Two women drink tea, talk stuff.
-Anush, let's have a look. My son got a degree, right?
-Right.
-And your son have a degree too, right?
-Right.
-But Gayane's son doesn't have one. Let's help him out?
-Of course, why not?
In the meantime, Georgian household. Two women drink tea, talk stuff.
-Jamal, let's have a look. My son got a house, right?
-Right.
-And your son have a house too, right?
-Right.
-But Sofia's son doesn't have one. Let's help him out?
-Of course, why not?
In the meantime, Russian household. Two women drink tea, talk stuff.
-Svetk, let's have a look. My son got in prison, right?
-Right.
-And your son got in prison too, right?
-Right.
-But Nadya's son didn't. Let's help him out?
-Of course, why not?
>jokes about blacks made by blacks themselves
you dont know much about the history of blacks in the states, do you
>We have a lot of jokes about georgians, armenians and jews
I want to hear them all
Our Armo jokes are typical Jewish ones. replace a jew with Armenian and there you go...
-Hey, Khach, Nice watch you've got there
-thanks, My grandpa sold me that before he died
Well, what i meant is that most of the people don't assume most of these nation's populance fall into these stereotypes. Of course, jews tend to like money more than other nations, but not to the point of greed most of the time. And of course, armenians are simular in that perspective to jews, since they have such common history. But we don't think that jew is stereotipical jew if he have something in common with steriotypes just because we LOVE jokes about them.
Well, yeah, most of your really old jokes
about them have racist origin, but nowadays jokes about that probably are not. I don't think that common black folk have humour loss and don't get the jokes about KFC. And i think that jokes about KFC, actually, most probably were invented by blacks themselves.
Lol
Well, kinda same. Plus a lot of armenians are doctors in russia, so we also have jokes about that too.
Russians are portrayed as white niggers. What a surprise.
In Hell 3 boiler with people. One of the boilers is covered with a lid with a lock, the other 2 open. Junior asked a senior devil:
- What is the first closed the boiler?
- Ooooh ... that the Jews, if one Jew will come out - pull the other.
- It is clear, and the second boiler is why open?
- There's the Germans, they are not required to protect - the iron discipline, was told to sit - sit.
- And in the third pot also Germans?
- There are Russian. They generally do not need to protect, if one gets out - the rest dragged him back!
go back to facebook, boring faggot
Genuinely kek'd
Shut up it's funny
Also, about armenian=jew stuff
Armenia. Old man is dying, and give his last words:
- People, care for jews!
- But why, grandpa? - asked someone young.
- 'Cause when they dealt with, WE will be the next.
fucking hilarious
Same shit here phalam
The american, the russian and the bulgarian were summoned by god.
When the american walked into god's palace, god said to him "If you don't stop killing people or I will press this button and annihilate your nation".
When the russian walked in, god said to him "If you don't stop selling weapons I will press this button and annihilate your nation".
Finally the bulgarian walked in and god said to him "If you don't stop stealing I will press this button and annihilate your nation".
When the three men walked out of the palace, the russian and american were panicing as the bulgarian laughed.
The russian asked the bulgarian why was he laughing.
The bulgarian replied "I stole his button!"
On execution of Russian, German and French. They say - we will fulfill your last wish
The German says - give me a cigarette
The Frenchman says - let me wine
Russian - I want that I won the fat man gave a kick
German Skurov cigarette, drank French wine, came the turn of Russian. The guard gives a kick, Russian flies on the wall, grabs one of the guards and all automatic shooting.
Witnesses are asked - why do you need a kick? We Russian is not give a kick, will not do anything.
Good Lord, i thought to bring this joke up myselve, thx for saving me the trouble, translation of jokes kinda fucks my brain up a little.
Stereotyping large groups of people (e.g. the French are all smelly, poncy cheesemongers) is fine because the group is large enough for the stereotype to be obviously absurd. Stereotyping of minority groups, however, is different because they are small enough for dumb people to believe that the stereotype applies to everyone in that group.
Well, there are MUCH less armenians, georgians, jews then blacks/muslim/hispanics in western countries. If we could laugh with them about such stereotypes, so can you. And yeah, again, not all stereotypes are wrong. They charactarise groups, but not portray them strayforward.
*MUCH less... in Russia
Stereotyping is very easily twisted into a form of attack, which is why mainstream people tend to demonize it. There's also an issue of consent, stereotyping banter is fine when everyone is "in on the joke" (e.g. England-France) but mocking small groups of people (who don't like being stereotyped) just to get some cheap laughs from a majority is a bit cruel.
If you get offended by "Hahaha all jews are greedy!" and "Ahaahha all gypsies are thieves!" jokes you're a fucking pussy who deserves it anyways.
Seriously, how can you people be so feminized as to get unironically offended by this shit?
>A stereotype or racist joke based on a falsehood would be retarded, and no one would ever use or encourage it
Seriously? You're on Sup Forums, you should know better.
1 clickbait article about some bullshit that didn't even happen is all it takes for the memes to spread.
Well, from my perspecive, that means that these groups just act like pussies. I don't like that russians are steeotypes as "white niggers", but i don't hate it. It is normal, you know. And blacks/hispanics/muslims are not small minorities. Yeah, they are minorities, but not small.
Well, i responded a little too late i guess.
There is nothing funny about niggers or jews.
youtube.com
>Polish surname
niggers confirmed for nazis
Also, i don't understand that american fetish to bring up hispanics in talk about RACIAL tensions. 'Cause you know, they are not race, just nation/culture.
Racist jokes come in many forms, for example the missing black father jokes are tasteful because it's a sad truth of life for many people and it's good to laugh it off.
The blacks are dumb monkeys jokes lack any real meaning besides fuck those subhumans.
We don't have jokes about gypsies in Bulgaria because most people legit hate their guts.
But we have jokes about various nationalities. Most of our jokes are about our selves and how cleverly uncivilized we are.
I don't think jokes should be judged on the type of content, but by meaning. I don't agree that all racist jokes are OK. Some are pretty straight forward anti-minority, fuck those people messages covered up as jokes.
>I can say whatever I want and fuck you if you don't like it
What a complex and nuanced opinion.
You know, your post made me remamber very old joke from russian empire, which was made in some newspaper.
American: No one could punch me. We have freedom.
Russian: I can punch anyone. We have freedom.
Also, really, offensive words? I understand that those who shout about need about genocide should be punished, but just racist jokes?
You see, every nation has jokes about their rulers. And not all of these rulers like them. And they are by defenition very small minority. Should we "care about their feelings"and don't do these jokes, which are often "offensive" and "judjemental"?
Believe it or not, in real life (where most people aren't emotionally retarded social rejects like on Sup Forums) people don't like their ethnicity being insulted, especially when the group doing the insulting has an unpleasant history with regard to treatment of other ethnicities.
what I meant was
-In eastern Europe
>tell a racist joke
>notice it wasn't funny
>no one takes it personally the first time as we are not a nation of easily offended special snowflakes and you simply don't say it again since what's the use if it's not funny
>if you're an asshole who deliberately does it to pick on people you will eventually have your teeth kicked in in some alleyway
-In gibmedatsland
>tell a racist joke
>"WAAAH HE A RACIST SEXIST ISLAMOPHOBE ANTISEMITE NAZI WAAHH MOMMY WAAAH"
Our societies are just different.
You're talking a lot about eastern Euros being "above being offended" but I've seen eastern Euros get extremely offended when people mock their country. Are you sure that people in your coutnry aren't just too poor and miserable to care about racist jokes?
Again, stupid jokes are cool but if you are deliberately being an asshole you will have your teeth kicked in.
But then again every country has its spergs who freak out over dumb shit.
all these jokes absolutely trigger me.
fucking cis slav males and your homophobic patriarchy
Well yes ? This is absolutely the way it should be, fuck you too, fuck the always-offended people i'm glad donald trump won
Here's one :
-What is long, hard and goes straight into 60 million assholes ?
-The channel tunnel
>lack any real
Well they are dumb and it is funny how fucking dumb they are
At a Jewish school. The teacher asks his class how much is 2+2.
- Okay, Moshe. How much is 2 + 2?
- 5.
- Bravo. Now, Sarah. How much is 2 +2?
- 6.
- Bravo. Your turn, Solomon.
- 7.
This goes on for a while until one of the children says 40. The teacher pauses for moment, staring silently before saying:
- 40. That's way too much. Leave 40 and above to the Armenians.
Some more
-What's the difference between an english woman and jelly ?
-Jelly actually moves when you eat it
-What do you call a pretty girl in England ?
-a tourist
-What, you raped a dead woman ? Do you have no shame ? Explain yourself !
-Well mr. the judge i swear i didn't know she was dead. I just thought she was English.
You are wrong m8.
Believe it or not, in real life (where most people aren't emotionally retarded social rejects like on Sup Forums) rulers don't like their rule being insulted, especially when the group doing the insulting has an unpleasant history with regard to treatment of any ruler they had previously.
Most our jokes (jordanians) are about people from a town in southern jordan called tafila. They're kinda stereotyped as dumb.
I think Syrians do the same with people from Aleppo, Egyptians with people from Sa'id (upper Egypt), Palestinians with people from Hebron, Iraqis with Kurds
What drives someone to do such a crime specially to an old (harmless?) person?
This. It really hurts to read this
So a rusky, a polack and a german are on a train...
subhuman niggers
ok, it is time for REALLY offensive russian joke.
Train compartment. There are French, German, Russian and Aizerbadjan(one of the main part of immigrants, mostly illiegal, in Russia). French brings up bottle of expensive wine, drink a little, then throw out of window rest of the bottle.
-We have a lot of this shit.- he justiifies himself
German brings up big bottle of good beer, drink a little, then throw rest of it out of the window.
-We have a lot of this shit.- he justiifies himself
Then Russian grab Aizerbajan and throw him out of the window.
-We have a lot of this shit.- he justiifies himself
There are a lot of variatoin of this joke, about who has been thrown out of the window. That is only one variant. And as gives a cue, we love the formula of three or more people representing by actions their nations in jokes.
you haven't finished telling story, and I'm already laughing at the whole house.
But you may find such behavior in every race, I think it's really unhealthy to racialize everything
en.wikipedia.org
same here when german throws bosnian
or croatian throws herzegovian
actually a lot of variants, trains, airplanes...
>are much more harsher
Not trying to insult your grammar, but for future reference, the use of "more" in this sentence is redundant since you used "er" at the end of harsh.
Can you translate that to Englih? It's hard for me
Oкaзывaютcя нa нeoбитaeмoм ocтpoвe нeмeц, пoляк и pyccкий. Пocлe нecкoльких днeй пpибивaeт к ocтpoвy бyтылкy. Oткpывaют oни ee, a тaм джинн. Джинн гoвopит:
— Зa тo, чтo вы мeня выпycтили иcпoлняю пo жeлaнию.
Пoляк:
— Meшoк зoлoтa и дoмoй.
Heмeц:
— Жeнщинy, мeшoк зoлoтa и дoмoй.
Pyccкий:
— Эх хopoшaя былa кoмпaния. Ящик вoдки и вceх oбpaтнo.
Bumb
In america the way banter works is if you are conservative everything you say is racist but if you are a liberal you can say what ever you want because liberals cant be hatefull
If donald trump implies that jews are good with money he is literally hitler but vid related is ok
youtube.com
youtube.com
I have heard this joke in sweden too. It's a classic because it always has a funny punch line.
Chukchi and girl in the train. Chukchi holds the harp between teeths and plays:
- Dzin-Dzin-Dzin-Dzin
Girl says: "Stop it!". He stopped. Silence. After a while girl sexy sits down near to him.
- You want it?
- Yese, wanot
- Ok, come on let's do it quick!
- Dzin-Dzin-Dzin-Dzin-Dzin
P.S. sorry my autistic English
>Shrödingers immigrant is actually an accurate description, and whoever made that meme doesn't understand the point of Schrödinger's cat.
Shrödinger used his cat example to describe the observer effect: in quantum mechanics particles fluctuate in an in-between state until they are observed, upon which they collapse into one state or another (this is the Copenhagen interpretation, the Many Worlds interpretation dictates that it collapses into both states and that every state gets an alternative timeline, resulting in such things as entirely alternate worlds that are exactly similar except in one timeline I scratched my butt and in the other I didn't). In other words, until the parts are observed both results are possible.
Same with third world immigrants: until they actually arrive in the country (ie. until they are "observed") they are in an in-between state: both too lazy to work and stealing our jobs. Only upon actually arriving in the country do they "collapse" into one of these states.
So yes, in a country with high work participation and no abundence of jobs, Schrödinger's immigrant is a valid concept. It only disappears in the unusual state where there are not enough people to do all the jobs (like 19th century America).
> russian humor
I've read all of these and none of it is funny
Fuck up, mingy chav. I'm actually from Doncaster and I plan on going back this year.
That's because it's drunk humor.
When you're sober it's not funny but after downing a rakia or two you'll be laughing your ass off at the dumbest shit.
Because humor is not an international thing
What do you call a thousand gypsies on the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
How do you know a Pollack was in your backyard?
Your garbage's gone and your dog's pregnant.
Big famine in Somalia, 100.000 dead! US sends food, UK sends medicine, Sweden sends 100.000 new Somalians.
Bear walks through the woods, sees that car is on fire. He got in the car and burned out.
Nice old classics.
Here's one I rem3mber from childchood:
Devil cought 3 men: Polish, German, and Russian.
He locked each one in a room with no windows or anything, gave each of them two solid, steel balls.
He told them: I will set free the one, who can do the most interesting thing with those two balls.
Next day Devil starts the visit.
He visits German first.
The Germ placed one ball on top of each other, so that it doesn't fall down.
"Very good!" - said lord of evil, and went on to the Polish man.
The Pole placed one ball on the floor in the center, than threw the other ball into the air, so that it bounced off the walls a few times, than hit the ball on the floor and took it's place, stopping.
"Impressive!" - said Devil. "Let's see how the Russian is doing!"
The Russian lost one ball and broke the other.
Schrodinger immigrant isn't accurate cause the point of it is that we can't predict shit and can't say more about phenomena than that it's random..Immigrant arrives at country and takes a job or is a lazy bum depending on semi predictable factors. Particles just float around and you aren't able to tell where the fuck they are until you measure shit and your ability to approximate the position relies on probability. Therefore it's wrong to even be sure that they exist in some state before measurements (t Copenhagen)
Schrodinger also used his cat to mock Copenhagen by translating simple micro phenomena into macro and force you to contemplate. The meme is very accurate in that sense, since Schrodinger would say that the immigrant either works or steals your job.
These are anekdots — Russian analogue of "dad jokes". If you tell them in right place they could be funny. Usually just a quote is enough because everybody knows it anyway.
Not so much of a joke as just some nationalistic slur mixed with traditional teutonic fawning and spiteful russophobia.
Pole, German and Russian are on the abandoned island. After several days, they discovered a bottle, opened it, and revealed, that there is a jinn inside.
Jinn says:
-Due to the fact, that you saved me from this bottle, I'll grant for any of you a free wish.
Pole's wish:
-A bag of gold and return me back to home.
German:
-A woman, bag of gold and return me back to home.
Russian:
-Damn, what a nice company we used to be here! Gimme a box of vodka and return everyone back on island!
We've the same but it's arabs/blacks instead of azeris
Things like this make me feel like Russians are just fun
>butthurt alcoholic
Hahaha now I'm laughing.
>What should you do if an Arab throw a handgrenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
>The Kurds have developed a mobile phone. You can only divide on the calculator.
>I will open a bill payment center in Diyarbakır(a Kurdish majority city)
>Czech, Brit and Frenchman stranded on an Island and got captured by cannibals
>Cannibals tell them to kill themselves, so they can make canoe from their skins
>Frenchmen swallows poison
>Brit shot himself
>Czech starts furiosly stab himself with pocket knife yelling "Fuck your canoe assholes!"
also obligatory Žížekpost
>youtube.com
That's stupid version. Devil was supposed to kill the first two since he already saw it and its borning.
We have a version of this one that isn't country-related. It's usually presented in the form of a saying rather than a story, though.
If you give three conscripts an iron bar each, lock them in a room with no windows and nothing in it and then come back in an hour, one will have lost his, the other will have broken his and the third will have lent his to someone, but he can't remember who.
Other obligatory Zizekpost
youtube.com
Why is Zizek so based lads? I mean he's a commie but simultaneously a bretty good guy