ITT: times when we were alpha as ungodly fuck, I'll start
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
Other urls found in this thread:
>kicks cat
>alpha
what a loser.
...
...
What a loser, even your trolling is lame as fuck.
>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
bump
kek
>be me
>at supermarket
>cashier says to qt3.14: five cents please
>she hasn't
>i say: one minute as i want to pay the 5 cent
>she already paid
>go as fast as i can out of the super market
>be me
>playing Minecraft with friends (not irl lol the real ones online)
>hear mom bitching about something outside, tell her to stfu
>alpha as fuck
>she comes into my room and tells me to stop always playing vidya and do something with my life
>i get pissed
>get up and go punch her in the chest
>she falls to the floor
>ko
>she screams how i'm such a disappointment
>whatever bitch, i'm 24 i do what i want
>she leaves and slams the door in rage
>victory
>alpha as fuck
Squat barefoot, and comfortable on the toilet. You can even undress your pants and make yourself very comfortable.
Sthraighten up your back, relax your anus. Sense the full bowel, the pressure of it inside you, and the desire and the need to get rid of it. Feel the pressure of the thighs on the abdomen,
And think: I am shitting! I am shitting! The shit is rolling out of me in huge quantities! An unending turd sliding through my anus! AAAH I can feel it! Its' comming out! Its going! I can shit! I can shit! I can not stop shitting! And so on... find your own expressions. You have to feel the shit actually coming out of you. Relax and open your anus, sigh with relief, immagining and feeling over and again the sensation of the stool passing through the hole and falling out. You have to see it, live it.You have to be absolutely positive that the shit will come out. As if you were done already.
At the point when you feel that it is about to come out - raise your arms high up, almost to the point of bending backwards, (this position helps physicaly to eliminate without pushing) and shit. It will come out. If not on the first time, than next time, or the next. But if you try hard to do it, you will succeed.
It is important that you do not think "I must shit, I must shit." The word "must" is a no no.
You only CAN shit as much as you want.
It is like an art, and it is not easy, but the suffering of constipation can help you to become an artist.
>takes a shit on faggot OP's head, doesn't wipe
>gets a rimjob from OP's mother
>alpha as fuck
>alpha as fuck
>phone up nigger church from payphone
>hello, pentecostal church of
>NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
>slam phone down
>run off before FBI trace the call
>alpha as fuck and a half
>so fucking alpha
>My Chemical Romance
>Alpha as fuck
pick one
>mom be giving me a lift to the mall
>I'm eating a bacon roll in the car
>we take a detour through Jew Town
>girl waiting at bus stop outside kike elementary school
>I flick a piece of bacon gristle at her
>alpha as all fuck
...
>My Chemical Romance
Faggot as fuck
>A stiff, petrified turd emerges from the depths of my intestines
>It only comes out partway, about eight inches
>I ram the poo phallus up your anus and make you my bitch
>I make you deep throat it after
>I buttjaculate it down your throat, finally releasing the rock hard log
>It goes down your throat with the force of a bullet
>alpha as fuck
but im still a manlet, too short to reach the rope.
>be waiting to use ATM
>some fucking cripple in a wheelchair in line ahead of me
>presses the wrong fucking buttons
>gets his card back, goes to put it back in the machine
>I tell him to get to the back of the line because it's my turn at the ATM now
>alpha as fuck
slow claps*
steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell.
But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps?
Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart.
The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails.
Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit.
The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^).
It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to.
Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...
>ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit.
cruel is not alpha as fuck faggot
in fact cruel is totally cowardly which lands you on the other side of the spectrum
Nice copy pasta faggot.
This happened just now:
>go use toilet
>dont lock the door
>after all its my house
>nigger bitch barges in
OH MY GOD LOCK THE DOOR IDIOT
>nigga this is my house
>nigga i knew you were coming
>you should've heard the sound of the door
>that's why i went full slav squat with my dick out in the first place
"You know that this is my toilet, right? Chimpanzees can use the zoo facilities."
Kek. Apparently the guy living in the basement almost had a gf and I ruined it for him. Never saw a monkey run that fast.
That's actually pretty beta. Fucking queer. If i saw that I'd beat the shit out of you
>be 35 year-old virgin NEET
>wake up at 6pm
>glance at my GBP board
>*gasp*
>momsey raized my Tendies by 5GBP EACH!
>Fucking makin me a bitch boy
>Go online lookin for advice
>I heard Reddit is helpfull
>Crawl through forest of NeckBeards
>Fined haven of the Gods!
>/r/Redpill
>Turns out momsey is just a whore needing an Alpha
>Must sell Beta Bux for RedPills
>Check Momsey's drawers, normie bitch has packets of Control pillz !!!
>Controll pillz will suffice
>Tear open packs swallow every last fucking Control pill
>I AM ALPHA
>I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH
>I AM REDPILL
>Momsey walks in screaming at me, give her knowing smile, punch that bitch in her baby maker
>I AM ALPHA! I continue to shout while beating my chest like a Silverback Gorilla
>Pull out my peepee n slap momsey as she cries salty tears
>Belly is all Rumbly Tumbly, Control pills must be workin
>Start slapping Momsey showing my true dominance, I don't need no GBP I scream in her fucking normie face!!!!
>Black the Fuck out
>Wake up in hospital, stomach freshly pumped now Im hungry as fuck!
>Momsey crying in corner
>MFW nurse gives me pile of chicken tendies...
ALPHA AS FUCK!!
You're so alpha! How you like your tendies baked or fried?
>buy GT6
>earn money
>buy Alfa
>race Alfa
ALFA AS FUCK
Senior yr HS
>up at hunting camp getting hammered
>buddie's brother and his girlfriend are with us
>they are both in college
>girlfriend gets seriously fucked up
>cabin has old root cellar in kitchen via ladder
>three of us go down there to check it out
>tracy clambers down as well
>she starts sucking me, my buddy, and her boyfriends younger brother
>pull her shirt up, tits out, blowing three discks
>her boyfriend looks down the entry, sees brothers dick in his girlfriends mouth
>he starts to fucking cry
>she continues to gobble our cocks
>lil bro goes up to calm the pussy down
>tracy keeps sucking dicks
>I unload in her mouth and she swallows
>buddy too drunk to cum
>we go back up to the party. mayhem commences
>cucked boyfriend cries some more
>end of night he forgives her
>I see him give her a passionate kiss. my dried cum is still on the front of her jacket
Feeling Alpha at that time
Literally my only alpha moment ever
>be me, 16
>pudgy pale white kid, not too popular but known by plenty since unique name
>be in gym, wanting to play kickball
>teachers are being fags and make us form a giant "A" for some retarded reason
>niggers obviously aren't listening, won't scoot down and even up, teachers won't let us go till they do
I'll pause here and say that I've hardly ever attempted to tell niggers what to do, because they're niggers and they don't listen. But I wanted my fuckin kickball time damnit.
>finally get fed up
>turn to the nigger group and shout as loud as I can
>SCOOTTHEFUCKDOWN.rar
>they all give me that classic nigger look
>I just stare back at them
>after a few they kinda back down, start lookin away, and shuffling down and forming the line
>mfw I checked a bunch of monkeys into submission