So, I'm a fat, unattractive POS, but I really need to get laid soon

So, I'm a fat, unattractive POS, but I really need to get laid soon.

Thinking about hiring a prostitute, but afraid she'll reject me or give lousy service because of my looks.

Any ugly fucks on Sup Forums have any experience with hookers?

I've never fucked a prostitute.

But, think about it dude!

She literally fucks for money. She just wants the money.

Go get the pussi b0ss

also
don't get VD

How about you lose weight, get a haircut and find a woman that wont treat you like an ATM for 30 mins

Also it will help you avoid aids in the long term

user. They women. They'll give you lousy service based on looks and income regardless of their occupation.
You want them to fuck you like a champ? Get them drunk and get them high and do it all while being rich.
You can't do any of those things than accept the service given as what you'll get.

You want actual advice?
Go find the hottest chick left at closing or get lucky with a looker before closing.
Why? They're already drunk and they did it on their own dime and chicks who hook up at bars are looking for at the very least a decent fuck do they'll give more of a fuck in bed than a disappointed date would hoping you'll at least surprise them.

But that's not something I can do in the next week or so.

I've never had any luck getting laid by girls in bars, though.

I'm thinking of seeing someone who offers GFE, but I don't know if they are good enough to fake it with ugly customers.

It's not something I recommend. You don't get pussy JUST for being jacked. You get it from being jacked AND being good looking. Just like you don't get pussy just from being nice you get it from being nice AND good looking or having a nice car AND being good looking or being a prize winner AND being good looking.

Oh by all means get a hooker just don't pay them everytime you want a fuck. It's honestly not hard for bar chicks just make a casual pass at them when they're alone or almost alone and if one gives you good signs go for it.
End of the day don't hand out cash everytime you want your rocks off.

I would still be ugly after losing weight and getting in shape.

So no hope other than prossies, I guess.

I'm in Europe, and the bar culture is different here than in the states. You don't normally go to bars alone and you don't really talk to strangers.

Well that or you get lucky with a decent looking bar chick. Either way bar chick or underachievers, swing in your range you know.
I know it sounds weird but if you're ugly enough where drunk chicks won't give you the time of day then do this for relationships: find a crazy chick and knock her up AFTER you get her to think you're the only one who cares about her. Doesn't matter where you get her from and technically looks are a secondary here(uglies don't get to choose in this scenario, for what it's worth:sorry) but get the best one you can.

That sounds complicated, considering I just want my dick wet quickly.

You think a prostitute would hate to fuck me? or be indifferent?

Clubs then. And you go to the wrong bars. Unless you're in traditional japan singles exist and you can chat up chicks with male friends in bars without it being a crime. I've been all around so don't try and bullshit me with thats not how it works where you live cause that is exactly how it works. Worst case you get run off by a boyfriend.

Indifferent but disgusted. Obviously she won't be the happiest person in the world fucking a male underwear model but she'll be happier than fucking a 500lb unwashed neckbeard.

If you just want a wet dick and don't want to go broke do the bar/club scene and try your luck, you swing out you you get a hooker.

I was just saying basic relationship advice. Those crazies will love you to death and back you just gotta play their game.

>implying they all don't do that.

dude in Honolulu Hawaii the hottest street walking prostitutes they are gorgeous and will fuck anybody for $200 , Also they have a shit ton of brothels with 18 y/o Asians that look like anime characters.. The police kinda of have a unspoken alliance.. It's pretty awesome. So if I were you and wanted to lose my virginity to a solid 10 go to wikiki!

also at the brothels in hawaii they treat you like a king, they give you a bath 1st then take you to the room give you a message, then fuck your brains out.

I'm around 240 lbs, and my hygiene is pretty good, I shower every day and keep my hair and shit trimmed.

I need to find a crazy freak then.

Honolulu is too far, I'm thinking about going to Berlin, I've heard there's hot Romanian street walkers and a lot of brothels.

Thats a lot of dosh. Do taiwan same shtick and virgins cost $100 max to keep up with competitors you could get 2 for the night for the same price. $50 tops for 18 11/10's who been used.

If you feel a handjob is enough, go to backpage's body rub section; they have massage parlors. Never gone to one before this past Saturday but I have to say it was a good experience. About $120 for an hour with some actual and decent massage.

Just be clean and polite, that's what they care about most.

it'd be cool if you weren't a fat shit, but they'll still take your money and fuck you as long as you're clean and polite

I went to a brothel in Berlin on a stag do.

If don't beat the shit out of them trying to get out of paying them you'll be fine.

That's nice to hear. I think I have decent hygiene and I'm normally polite to people.

I just look like shit, so my self-esteem is fucking gone.

NOOO gypsies are bad shit. Never touch them. They take shit to GET pregnant and pop holes in their condoms and then show up on your doorstep 5 countries over with wedding or child support papers and make you choose.
They'll take hair for the tests and someone somewhere will get your ID.

Was it an FKK club? I heard these are the places to go, it's basically a spa for men.

Hookers don't give a shit. They are fucking for money. They are hardly in a position to judge anyone.

Yes it was. It was called Artemis. They have a webpage.

Can you describe what happens in an FKK?

Do you go around with other horny men, or is it like discreet?

Make sure you look at their profiles. Use Adultwork or whatever. Try to find girls who are local, not foreigners/tours because they don't give a shit. Local girls will give you a good service because they want repeat customers.

Make sure you shower. Your dick is clean and your balls powdered with baby talc. Hygiene is key. If you find a girl who becomes your regular you will become more confident and probably find yourself talking and being more open where you weren't before. It's all about confidence but you have to start somewhere right.

i lost my virginity to one. mines was submissive but refused to lick my balls. theyll do anything you tell them otherwise. you are paying after all and she knows you can overpower her. if she tries to tell you no simply say youre going to leave and she will stop being bitchy. just dont be a total pushover

Find an escort review board in your area.
Some girls (mostly massage parlor types) have built up reviews/reputation as ones to get your feet wet with.
Hygiene is the most important thing.
-brush your fucking teeth
-trim all your nails. (ALL OF THEM EVEN TOES)
-take a fucking shower and use fucking soap and actually clean your ass crack.
-put on clean clothes
-if she asks you to take a shower before you begin - don't bitch and moan - get in the fucking shower
-use the mouthwash if it is given to you and don't take it personally

I went in with a mate. You have a shower ( not together) strip and put a robe on. Put my clothes in a locker. Then we had a few beers while watching some strippers and the both choose a girl to fuck and took them to a private room. It's all s bit hazy, I think it was about 3am.

What's the point of being a cunt to these girls? Why overpower them? Sounds fucking lame. Just be cool and they'll most likely do whatever you ask.

I thought you were supposed to be naked in an FKK? - were you naked under the robe?

How many girls are there?
Do the girls approach you?

The issue is when they DON'T do what you want. You're the one paying for it and the way it works is your request is their pleasure. If they won't blow you or touch your dick because they don't want to you can take your cash and leave or take them then take but leave your cash.
That's the deal.

No not naked. Nude under the robes. There was loads of girls. Actually can't remember being approached but I'm sure we would have been.

Get an escort not a street whore. Ive been at 3 and they had no problem with me being over weight and below average dick.
> put a condom on my dick sucked me till im hard with the condom on" fuck logic"
> fucked me till i came.
> cleaned up and left.
The whore focused on the cash and what and getting me off. So yea you will be fine. No rejection bullshit.

Look at their profile. If it's on their likes then they will do it. If there's something specific, then ask. The worst thing is just to meet without setting out your specifics beforehand.

i was not being a cunt. i am just telling OP that prostitutes are not going to treat him like shit because prostitutes deal with guys all the time and know what theyre capable of. he seems insecure and beta as fuck so im telling him that he can easily tilt the power back to him because of his size

Find one on internet. There are forums where hookers get rated based on her looks and the Quality if her atenttion. Go for it, you will not regret it.

This might be a stupid question, but how about money?

Where do you keep your money if you're nude?
How expensive are the girls?
It says €80 entrance fee, that's pretty expensive

They blew you with a condom on to avoid skin contact with a possible STD carrier.
They're escorts so them being clean is a literal job requirement which means they won't take risks. Your word of being clean means nothing to them.

Also if you fuck for like 1 minute, they love you because easy money, and treat you like a king so you will call them again.

>if it's in their likes
Oh yes i'm sure WhoreSpace will make sure i avoid the hooker who loves long walks on the beach and cocaine but dislikes sex and fat dudes.
You PAY THEM money for SEX. Their job is doing whatever you pay them for. They don't do it they don't get paid.

I kept my wallet in robe pocket and paid them at the end. They had an atm there. It was expensive yes. I think I paid about 150 - 200 EUR for the girl.

She fucks for money, honestly you could be a 300lb fat disgusting shit with snot coming out of your nostrils, picking out cheerios from your bellybutton and she wouldnt give a shit

Depends where. Pay as you leave, keep your wallet in the robe pockets, or just carry it loose.

Bro, most women don't care about how you look. They only care about how much money you have on your account.
So imagine a hooker...

Was that for one hour, or just for a quick fuck?

How hot are the girls?

Keep your clothes on you. Show your dick, that's it

Depends. If she's with a decent pimp she'll tell him how shit you are and next time you order he'll send a lesser girl cause the better girls won't want to fuck you.

An hour or a quick fuck is the same thing with a stallion like me.

I think it lasted about 45 mins. Bj, few different positions.

No i completely get that. I don't prefer it otherwise. Rather safe than sorry

Okay, I might check that out.

Although I don't know if I'd be comfortable walking nude around among a shitload of horny german guys.

How fat are we talking? Prostitutes are used to fat/ugly dudes, as long as you're not 300 lbs and smell like shit shes not gonna say no.

and even if she does who cares what she thinks, shes a whore.

You have a robe on when walking around. It's like a big dressin gown so you can't see anything. I can't remember being uncomformatbale but I was very drunk. Id have a look at some online reviews as well, just in case it was a complete shit hole and I was too pissed to realise.

man who gives a fuck for all you know she could hate the color of your shoes

they became whores because they love cock and would fuck anyone just because they have one. You'll be fine as long as you are cleanish.

I'm 240 lbs, 6 ft.

I could imagine that the alcohol helps!
I guess there's also a bar in the club, so I might grab a beer to calm down.
How was the man/woman ratio?

youre a fucking idiot.

Show your face

Yes I have pounded massage girls and hookers.

I recommend you go to rubmaps.com. Find a 4 star place and go get jacked off. It's really that easy. You really can't surprise these women. I have seen some fat ugly fucks at these places. They will judge you but that's all human beings. They've seen skinny, fat, ugly, tiny dick, everything. Just be secure enough with yourself that you can pay someone to touch your dick. Relax and have fun.

I was an unhappy virgin for a long time until I tried one of these places out. Now I have no idea why I took so long to find out I live in handjob city.

It's different here in the UK you can go alone and every one ends up chattin to stranger's by the end of the night

Take up boxing: It'll carve you into a man.

Find a high class escort girl. Most of them wil respect you for who you are, and vil do what they can to give you a good time. Happy costumers means good reviews and more buisness, it means alot to them. I've fucked 18 escorts over the past 6 months after I had a bad breakup. Some of those girls are the nicest people I've ever met.
Just make sure to be clean and be respectfull and nice to them.
Find a girl with some good reviews,

Basically my girlfriend, but anyway i'm a sucker and love her...

Don't fall in love
Any high class escort with quality pussy will usually try to give you the time of your life (hoping for more money.) and act like the nicest girl you'll ever know.
Do not fall in love.
That's the biggest and really only issue with the real expensive escorts

what is the message?

Almost went through with fucking a pro once. When we finally got to my room, she looked around and accused me of being a cop. I had to strip naked before finding out that she wanted $600 to fuck.

in Hungary you can anal fuck a hooker for $60 www.rosszlanyok.hu

Prostitutes are people too, just like anyone else. Some of them seem to like their work; some are wary and unhappy and in it for the money. Some will really take care of you and care about you getting off; some may try to scam you, especially if you're rude and treat them like a non-person.

I've visited prostitutes a number of times (met off the internet, not on the street or in parlors). Whenever I do, I tell them that sex workers are kind of my fetish (true!) and that I want to respect them (also true!) and that their consent and comfort is important to me, and I won't be mad if they don't want to do anything. Sometimes - more often than not - they may say, yea, I'm doing this for the money and wish I didn't have to; and I'll pay them something and not do anything sexual, because I'm not into being a rapist or a creeper, see? Sometimes they'll say, Oh, that's so sweet, and we'll have sex. It's never going to be quite as good long-term as doing it with someone who actually really wants to be with you, unless you're lucky enough to find a hooker who really is horny. That happens only rarely. But if you treat them with respect, it can still be fun. Think of it as an extremely advanced form of massage.

So if you're going to do it, bear this in mind. Yes, you should shower, shave, and brush your teeth first. Be scrupulously polite and respectful when approaching them - this will make them like you more and make your experience better. You can also talk to them and ask them how to attract other women. Again, prostitutes are people like anyone else; everyone likes to be asked for advice. I doubt that you are so unattractive that no one would ever want you.

Ayyy lmao

>i have a penis

WHY DUDE? WHY? Does she deserve to get fucked by a fat ass like you?

Don't be cheap
Don't be a nigger
Take a fucking shower
Go to her place not yours

This, there's a reason that every single date/meet app have photo swipes, It's shit but good looks are what 99% of western women want, you can be a complete prick but you'll still get tons of tail if you look like a catalog model.

Then wait a few months.

I got some strange bacterial STI, despite using a condom. (But I've fucked 20 whores.)

You'll probably just want to buy an hour for your first time. That'll give you time to relax. If you just buy 15min it's hurryhurryhurry unless you know what you're doing

You only pay them for time and companionship, no sex acts. Just walk in and after greeting her, leave the money on the dresser or table.

B A C K P A G E

Set a trap at the door, then she can't say no.

Also, you may want to take her down to a basement where it will be harder for her screams to be heard. Feed her one big tin of dog food per day, half in the morning and half at night. You may also want to tie her down if you don't have a strong door and lock.

Move to poland/estonia, chicks there place looks a little further down the list of wants in a bloke and there are stunning chicks there looking for nice blokes.

How I do actually find a hooker ? In my area the regulars dress like hookers. I could get clobbered asking.

Fishnet stockings are usually a dead giveaway.

You know what makes hookers cum? Money

Stfu they won't care what h look like

backpage or craigslist

if she's collecting money for the service he deserves to fuck her.

I'm fuckin depressed

BLE devices would be awesome to ID hookers

...

I'm sorry, how fucking bets does someone like you have to be to wine and dine a hooker before she puts out and then refuses to do shit she pays for them you just go "okay honey i understand and respect your boundaries cause i love you.".
I mean what the actual fuck.

If you get rejected by a hooker, losing your virginity shouldn't be your top priority

a very, very, very lonely "man"

The only reason hookers ever reject people is if they either
1) Smell awful
2) have blatant diseases

They'd fuck Quasimodo if he paid them enough; they've seen far worse than you, and they won't shortchange you if they think they can get a return customer.

top b8 m8

Stories?

Go look at some reviews of your local cum containers, that way you can make sure you can get some bang for your buck, also first discuss all things you want and the price.

Well obviously none of them have ever seen OP.

I mean, OP isn't a millionaire.

None from personal experience but from people who've gone. Gypsies will take first worlders as baby daddies if they HAVE to or if you're worth that much. What they REALLY want is for constant cash from you and if they have to get pregnant for that to happen than so be it. Romanians are one step away from pure gypsy.

urbanlegend/10

That explains why Romanian escorts advertising bareback have suddenly flooded Adultwork.