How would you change soccer to make it more popular in the USA?

How would you change soccer to make it more popular in the USA?

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Play it in a swimming pool or force players to attend "university".

10 periods of 9 minutes each, with 3-minutes commercial breaks between them.

with guns

M U L T I B A L L

MULTIBALL
TWO GOALIES
10 SECOND SHOT CLOCK
NO OFFSIDES
INSTANT REPLAYS
4 QUARTERS
MORE ADVERTS SO I CAN PISS, CALL A PIZZA IN, TAKE A BREAK BECAUSE MARATHONS ARE TOUGH
MORE STATISTICS

I would make it so its not popular because I don't want your semen slurping sport to be in my country especially because the closest team to me is NYC FC (the Red Bulls are New Jersey) and they are cringe memes.

More hard contact, dont even bother calling fouls for those faggots everytime they graze eachother, none of that dribbling the ball backcourt again for like 1000000000 minutes, bigger net so easier to score. Its still shit tho. Just watch football instead.

ban all non-black players

Make the time count down and with stoppages. All American sports are very absolute in the clock counting down and to Americans soccer just feels too floaty and weird. And get rid of flopping.

> can't use your hands
> """""""sport"""""""

It's fundamentally flawed to begin with. Nothing can fix that.

add WAR so you get the /mlb/ crowd

memory wipe everyone about soccer and add more hard contact because everyone thinks of soccer as a sissy sport.

>with 3-minutes commercial breaks between them
>only 3
If you spend more time watching the sport instead of ads it's not American enough.

Insert breaks for commercials. The media will push it from there. Shit rolls downhill yo....

I wouldn't, football and its fans are cancerous as hell. You burgers are lucky you don't have to deal with this shit.

that only rly happens during the super bowl

Smaller field for more scoring

>Make it female only
>They have to play in lingerie

>squeeze the ball
>let the players grab the ball with their hands
>call it football

But they doopin do already

Make the pitch much bigger and the goals larger

American sports tend to massively favour athleticism first tactics second and skill a distinct third

Halftime shows, more commercials and instead of penalty shootout there would be a school shootout.

No my friend. Thats every nfl or nba game, you're just used to it.

>instead of penalty shootout there would be a school shootout

>shot clock
>more physical contact
>bigger goal net
>smaller field
>hockey style line changes
>half naked cheerleaders
>billion dollar advertising campaign
>rebrand the name soccer to American Futbol just to fuck with everybody

>mfw watching an american nba stream for the first time

>insert some kind of unnecesary equipment to make it more expensive and thus get companies interested in it
>shorter times, more adds
>less players in the same fields = more goals
>make them win a WC
Ta-Da!

>The clock stops when play is stopped
>Four 12-minute quarters
>Pitch is slightly shorter and narrower
>You can wear equipment and tackle each other
>You score by moving the ball to the end of the pitch
>you can use your hands and pass the ball
>the ball is egg shaped

There you go.

I would change america by importing millions of mexicans instead. Eventually soccer will become the most popular sport

>Play it in a swimming pool or force players to attend "university".

Do you really think we give a shit about swimming?

Soccer is a fag sport and people here aren't ever going to watch it or care about.

t. NWO

This

pushing and bodychecking should be encouraged

That question has already been answered

youtube.com/watch?v=2vJn5XxWg9U

I wouldn't, it's one of the fe thingsi n this world the burgers haven't ruined yet.
[spoilel] instead the qatari are ruining it

>no diving
>no metrosexuals that think they're justin bieber
>have no ties or 0-0
>no gay sing-a-longs
>no police state tier stadiums (picrel)
>no arbitrary minutes added at the end that make no sense

Is that everything?

S P A N D E X
P
A
N
D
E
X

oh shit I'm laughing like a maniac, perfectly done.

I find the biggest turnoff to be how red cards and player ejections are handled. There's no equivalent to making a team play down a player for two halves in major North American sports. The closest thing I can think of is a 5 minute major penalty in the NHL. When players are ejected in NA sports they're allowed to be replaced with another player, and there's no limit on substitutions.

Nerf American football

If you can't kick a ball pick it up

that's exactly what's happening right now

Oh Sep, you cheeky cunt

Make it a contact sport.

hold on

that field heat chart already exists, you cunts

We have to deal with you guys still.

would have been funnier if it wasn't obvious one of the announcers was a giant faggot
>slate

not surprised

A lot of hispanics born here like NFL and other American sports though.

youtube.com/watch?v=2vJn5XxWg9U

see

MLS is the seventh league with most attendance in the world. There is more 200 leagues in the world, I think it's already popular enough

its not. MLS crowds are incredibly rare outside of the big cities, and most people cant even name an MLS player that isnt on our NT

>soccer fans

youtube.com/watch?v=GG-jMjvnua8

didn't soccer already become the most popular sport outside the traditional ones in america?
That's already pretty impressive, only a big cultural change would make it overtake baseball/basket/hockey

I like this idea

Never forget

No. Making the pitch smaller would appeal to us more by making it more fast paced. Come to think of it then it would just be like hockey without contact and hockey is already pretty boring.

idk senpai, we just don't like soccer. You don't want us in it either right? Seems win-win

>12 minutes

15 you mong

(opposing team)

>Dale dale dale dale dale dale

That isn't saying much. What did it beat, heem and nascar? lol

bring in more fat people

>No One Likes Us

FUCK OFF YANKS THATS OURS

more coke ads

pause the game for commercial brakes

make some stupid shitty patriotic music show for half time

serve more greasy food at the stands

Implement a shot clock

Replace Americans with Mexicans.

Oh.

Dismantling Fifa and removing the third world tier theatrics aka diving is a good start.

Basketball style back court violation rule.

It will never be popular until we're more overrun by mexicans, muslims and whatnot like the other shit countries. The entire soccer culture is completely unAmerican desu. Just look how scared they get just talking stats.

Fireworks, or explosions.

/thread

1) make goal twice as big
2) make ball ten times bigger
3) players drive go karts
4) goalies drive bulldozers

I know it's not soccer anymore but you'd fucking watch it

>Stupid shitty patriotic music show

You mean patriotic LGBT BLM half time show right?

Make the ball more elongated(egg shaped). Then let players use their hands. Allow players to throw the ball to each other or just carry it. Replace the net with a line they need to cross, and two vertical poles the ball can be kicked through. Allow the team of defense to tackle the player with the ball, and have play stop every time a player is tackled.

it's too shit. you can't. you'd have to start over.

...

It's becoming more popular. The MLS teams just need to get more big names from Europe. It tkes time to increase the popularity, as well as teh revenues of each club, but the sport is catching on more andmore.

Also more mainstream TV coverage. (highlights more prominent on ESPN, SC, SN

Relocate a premier league club to New York

>more mainstream TV coverage. (highlights more prominent on ESPN, SC, SN
We get plenty of that now, for YEARS top ten plays has kept shoving in soccer goals. I'm like, "he kicked the ball into the net, cool." I'm sure someone that doesn't care about basketball would feel the same way about dunk highlights but that's my point; we just don't care about soccer, and the rest of the world doesn't care about our big sports. I don't see the point in trying to force one on the other

gayboy

So basically IRL Rocket League?

Call it by it's proper name.

I wouldn't change it.

I'd go back in time and make Teddy Roosevelt ban handegg.

He did.

I like US fans not being part of the rest of this sport in particular
I can imagine the kinds of threads we would have if they were relevant in football.

>I like US fans not being part of this sport in particular.
Jesus.

Shot clock
Smaller field
More contact

Exactly this, plus no offsides. There's your real answer

If you want soccer to be Popular in the USA get black people interested.

>more contact
Would take all the purpose of dribbling

no offsides
No draws/ties, all games go to shoot outs
Review-able calls

Seriously how do you live with some of these outrageous calls. Whats stopping the Ref from getting payed by organized crime?
>Bullshit offside calls
>BS hand ball or lack of calls
>yellow/red cards for a player who didnt even make contact with another player

Oh thats right know i remember why i dont watch soccor

Easiest way to fix soccer:

Ejection rather than caution for taking a player down on a breakaway. It fixes everything wrong with your shit sport.

Calcio?

In our country, we call people like you "poofters"

make field 30 yds longer, get rid of offside, add stronger leg pads(inhibits running to counteract the removal of offside and encourages contact), market as football for smart people

Hence the smaller field. More passing, more meaningful movement. Less general "floatiness" as someone in the thread described earlier

So basically handball except played with your feet.
AKA Futsal.

That's already a rule, if a player is fouled by the last defender, it's an automatic red card

mlssoccer.com/post/2015/06/24/red-card-javier-morales-sent-denying-felipes-opportunity

Says Brownmany

This sounds like a good idea. I think Mexico is the most underrated country on Sup Forums tbqh.