Sup Forums I don't know if I am going crazy. I am spending 14 hours in front of computer, because I am a programmer...

Sup Forums I don't know if I am going crazy. I am spending 14 hours in front of computer, because I am a programmer. Due to my type of work, it is aiding the kind of thoughts which someone might think are edgy.
I mean, close yourself in a pitch-black, silent room with no windows. And ask aloud - "what am I?"

Forget about the answers you were told from the very birth - "you are a human. After your death you will be gone / you will go to heaven". As I sit down in silence and darkness, I feel nothing but fear. This is because of this razor-sharp concentration on my self-perception, I feel I am HERE but I don't know what I am and how I ended up in this world.

Very rarely, I've got strongest feeling which lasted at most 2 seconds, where I suddenly stop and focus on myself, realising that I might be a universe that is playing with itself. I am the main character of "life", no matter how arrogant it may sound. I cannot prove that I didn't imagine this world or YOU for that matter, for my own amusement.

This "feeling" can also occur when I either perform physical work, like very intensive exersizing, or after a very fast sprint. Perhaps because of high oxygen inflow into the brain. Whatever. The only thing that matters is my self-awarness, anything else might have been created, much like a computer game.

Am I the eternal loneliness? What am I?


tldr: you don't know what you are, and are living on a complete auto-pilot.

Other urls found in this thread:

simulation-argument.com/simulation.html
107.170.214.209/

galactanet.com/oneoff
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>Thinking your world is fake
>Asking non-existent people in your fake world for advice

You should read "The Power of Now" by Echart Tolle. It sounds pretty hokey at first buy it actually goes into some very interesting ideas about present moment awareness. That and the Tao Te Ching.

No you faggot you didnt imagine any of us... dont read philosophy books, read science books if you want to know how the world works.

maybe you imagined all of us - I am dead serious. Do this night sit, alone, on your own and see for yourself.

You are lonely, and just have never experienced it. Nothing that surrounds is true.

This dude, nick bostrom takes that subject very serious simulation-argument.com/simulation.html

Nigga you high as fuck

You are not A consciousness, you ARE consciousness. Everyone else. The ego-identified mind is an illusion of our neurology. We evolved to feel a sense of self as separate from the world because it helped us navigate our environment.

And no need to study anything. I've already realised myself, left 1 on 1

you're a fag because you're in Sup Forums

I once took general anaesthesia, and slipped into nothingness so quickly I didn't even realize it. This is so scary, because its YOUR mind that's afraid to let the grip off. This is exactly what I was talking about. You. Black room. Once you try it, you will understand what I mean.

Programmer here. I know that feeling man, I ended up thinking the same stuff you do.
Drugs help a lot.

What do our dreams mean?

Does it happen when you get up too fast?

What you are talking about it called ego death. We all feel it sometimes, in fact we probably feel it every day. Some folks find it scary, others find it liberating. We all identify with our stories because human beings understand the world as a narrative. The less you identify with your own unique life story and the more you identify with Being you more free you become.

You don't understand. Realising everything might be fake is like finding yourself in hell all of a sudden. I don't know how I've ended up here, and if it's some sort of "joke" or "disease" of the universe, some sick contortion of god's perception (which we all as might be part of).

Shit OP you blew my mind. I know those feelings all too well. My constant focus on myself. Have you read "The Egg" by Andy Weir?

They are no different to what we experience at THIS very moment. It's a never ending dream, and seems to continue forever, like a mobius strip. Scary ass shit because we can't do anything about it

Programmer here. You're a faggot and are bad at your job if you have time to think about stupid shit like that.

Hey OP....anonwhoknowswhatyouaretalkingabout here. yooooooooooooooooooo if you want email or some shit that'd be cool, talk about this fucking phenomena or whatever

I do understand, we've all had those thoughts. I just don't agree. I believe in God and see life as just a bunch of trials and test to prove our worth to Heaven. This "life" doesn't mean much other than that, our real life starts after we die.

This is a waste of time for me to be honest. But I'll bite I guess. You are experiencing the lowest forms of causality of the "now" which is something even Einstein himself couldn't figure out. By the lowest, I mean by the youngest forms in human achievement. You are at such an age where your consciousness is also young. Soon and eventually you're ambitions will travel you to distant ideologies and theories. Stay truth to logic, only such thinking is capable of bringing you to greater things in life. You are but a small flower barely opening it's petals to the knowledge of what is. I suggest saving the works of 107.170.214.209/ and seeing it at a future time when such capacities are relevant.

and this makes me feel eternal emptiness, so I am grasping on everything. Although all of these things and "people", including you might be fake af - an empty model, an "idea", in some high-level machine called "The World"

Did you just watch the matrix for the first time? When I was in highschool I watched the matrix and it messed me up for a good two weeks.

Real programmer here: thought experiments go back in hacker culture to the very beginning, and life is more than work. Eat a dick.

galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
Read it OP

You must be really good at ruby...

That should actually make you excited to figure out why you have to play this game, and more importantly, will you find out the truth after you die

/thread

>simulation-argument.com/simulation.html

No, you don't have to be "high". What everyone calls "high" is nothing but what you truly are. I didn't do any heavy drugs, yet this shit is edgy af

too drunk to read what he said, what's the TL;DR version of OP's message. Only interested because of the blind spot dot-cross OP's picture reminds me of.

I am just going to badtrip 24/7 with that mindset man :/

And this is why every culture ultimately creates a religion. Atheism is quite probably something like a form of autism -- an inability to process the world around them.

If you can process it then you can realize there's some damn fishy shit going on here, not the least of which is consciousness. So a bunch of rocks formed up and smashed into each other and then after a few billion years the rocks got together in such a way as to post dank memes on Sup Forums? What the fuck kinda of universe is that? What kind of fucking purely logical system results, ultimately, in dank memes?

I find that pretty fucking fishy, myself.

I don't really go for the dogma of the various religions. I usually call myself a deist. I think "fishy shit" is self-evident in the universe. The details are guesswork.

But for my part, here's my favorite theory:
You are a thing that exists outside of space-time. You always existed and always will because where you're from, there's no such thing as "time". That's a construct of this place. But you don't remember it because there's nothing to remember. You just "were". With no experiences, you existed but only in a most rudimentary of ways.

Somehow you ended up being able to get born into this universe and you get the one thing you really desired: life. Knowledge. Data. Anything beats nothing and you're here to get what input you can so you can take that out of here with you. Any experience is worthy.

There's a taste of this when you dream. The body sleeps but you don't. Dreams have no concrete sense of time because where you from it doesn't exist anyway. Dreams can have a certain flow to them because that's a concept you learned here but overall time doesn't really exist.

Grab what building blocks you can from here, before you go back to where you came from.

Kek. na that user hacks with HTML.

Calm down Kant; I don't think anyTHING can convince you otherwise, if you are indeed the protagonist of your own story

And honestly asking a chorus of anonymous voices won't help either

How can you ever know if anyone else has ever experienced this level of existential dread? By spending 14 hours a day on a computer do you have the social knowledge of ever knowing?

no, but I experienced that as well, and my thing is different. Sometimes you don't even need to exercise. Just do something unusual. Fuck it- climb a cabinet in your room and look down at the room. Do something "incorrect", outside of natural "auto-pilot life flow". Just do it without a single though except on thinking what you are, do not think about what others would think, make it when there is no one in the room and you will get it.

I had that feeling one time while I was tripping. I had a double dip that was laced with PCP. The visuals were great. When everyone else fell asleep I was still tripping but alone. I felt like I was just imagining everything. I had this vision of me being taken to an asylum and of all my friends and family finding out. I'm sure it was just my imagination but at the time it almost seemed like they were memories. And I found myself believing that every experience I ever had in my life before then (Event, future and past) was just me imagining they happened in that room. Every interaction with someone was just another vision I had in that room. Then the drugs wore off and I was fine. Sometimes I do think back about it and how this can still just be a vision. Or a dream.

Calm down neo.

We could all be living inside one big computer program, think about it.

We could just be aliens playing a kind of video game just by constantly looking at 1s and 0s

At the base of everything in the universe, everything either happens or it doesn't, 1 or 0, no or yes.

A neuron in the brain is either fired or not fired and we have about 100 billion neurons and this makes up everything we do, feel and see.

If something is not being perceived by a Conscious being, it doesn't exist. That wall behind you that no one is looking at, nothing is there until you turn around.

Like when a forest fire happens, the universe is just told what it needs to do at the moment it is perceived.

If no conscious being had ever existed, the universe would not exist.

Throughout my entire life I never felt it. This thing is so fucking sharp it cuts right through your mind. You most likely haven't experience d it, and it's totally worth it man. I am not angry at you, you might never get it, just be happy for it - it's good too.
> You are much larger than your "knowledge", your brain. It is always inside of you and one day you might lay your gaze on it, by complete accident - perhaps in front of a mirror

It's okay to climb off your pedestal of righteous every once and a while user.

Don't take heavy stuff. I usually stick to weed, coke, benzos, antidepressants and adderall.
I've been railing come coke and aderall now and I'm ready for 24 hours of work shitty thoughts free.

RIP paul walker

I had this before I watched matrix. It happened 6 years ago and I had it 8 times total, each lasting 2-3 seconds maximum. They last eternity however and are chilling-scary.

>don't take heavy stuff
>oh but I just stick to coke, benzos, anti-depressants and fucking adderall
lol really dude? abusing adderall, not to mention mixing it with other shit is probably one of the worse things and taxing things you could do to your body.

Holy shit dude...

Kek RIP user

From the age of about 8, I just used to realize sometimes when I was in class.

Wow, I am looking out of this humans eyes, why am I only in control of this particular one? and I sometimes realize I am in an autopilot and then everything becomes a lot more real.

In the end, we get no answers so I eventually decided it's better to just be ignorant. Just forget about life, death and the universe and go on Sup Forums and post about how I am a sissy faggot

Will be on my list.
You know what bro, - one thing I might tell you is no matter how scary it may be - for me the reason to stay in this world is to *contemplate the world* - the perspective, the glare on a shiny metal surface, the beautiful sky. The whole reality is so complex and beautiful, it's is worth it, just for its appearance.
I don't know if you exist or not, but even if you (or even me) don't - one of us must have imagined the other. So we are one whole, and I am sending a hug through the eternity of nothing to you.

>we either have a neuron that fires or doesn't fire
See, you are somebody who has never studied neurosciences or neurology. That isn't how neurons work. It's far more complicated than neurons firing or not firing, there are insane amount of chemicals that activate depending on the stimulus acted upon the neuron involved, direction to the brain, then reaction back to the site of stimulus. Neurons aren't just 1's and fucking 0's you freshmen philosophical, fucktard.

>anime

it checks out

I'll give you points for honesty...

Op thinks he's god, also drunk

agreed

I mean I am also drunk not OP, unless he is idk

You spend too much time looking at Assembly. Just try Python dude.

user this is straight from the egg. It's really just an essay. It'll only take 5-10 minutes to read. Check it out.
galactanet.com/oneoff /theegg_mod.html

One of these threads, huh? OP think he's an important singularity or something?

If you truly understood the truth, chances are you wouldn't be here to contemplate it. That, or...well, something more.

>107.170.214.209/
Thank you, saved

This might b the feeling your talking about, but whenever I get really sick. Like last year i got phnomia( i probaly spelled that wrong) real bad. And it was the strongest time Iv ever felt it. But I was in between sleep and awake. I was completely out of it. I felt like I was one black spec in an ever growing room of white. It was a scary feeling. Sometimes I get it randomly, but I usually get it whn I'm sick. Anyone else get this feeling

I am on Sup Forums, and want to stay anonymous. We can talk about all of it here, with the company of other like minded people

I keep hydrated so it's okay.

mm chekd and hold off on the Acid buddy

Well yes, I know that it isn't just decided by 1s and 0s. That wasn't my point. My point is that they either are fired or not. No matter how complex it is up to that point.

>99
Chekeked

And as well as saved the article, one thing to add. My amazing logic will leave me as soon as I die. Therefore it may be worthless. Unless by going through such thinking, we develop something other than the brain - the soul. So maybe things like love and compassion might be added to logic in this case, working towards our good.

You're really pretentious you know that? Other people know what the fuck you're saying. It's not fucking uncommon. In fact look up sensory deprivation tanks, it's a real version of your 6th grade black room thought experiment. You're not special.

Is OP Spike?

^anons right. seen many people when i worked at mental hospital with amphetamine induced psychosis. benzos are pretty heavy too, they make you do stupid shit and withdrawal from them is fucking hell. what heavy stuff are you talking about? heroin? heroin has no long term negative effects on health except what damage you do from unsanitary injection practices. educate yourself son

Eat some mescaline and get back to us...

I am afraid this will never end, and it may be eternal sequence of dream-like existence. I can't remember where I came from, and I haven't got a clue where I will go. I am in a vacuum and so are you.

Too much crack bro

I don't think you understand binary

Boy oh boy have i waited for YEARS to appropriately use this image.

> galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
Added, thank you

VXGI in c++ and OpenGL, you can even find me on youtube with 700 views

Move to a room that has windows in it

Except it isn't. There are plenty of neurons that are working right now, but aren't technically "fired." yet providing essential functionality to your body. The "reptilian" part of your body negates your entire belief in your brain, alone.

What really feels depressing is when you find a thread that really interests you and you'd love to contribute instead of shitposting like the twenty other posters, but decide not to because the thread is too deep in so your comment can't be read and there's just like the same twelve fuckers harassing OP so nothing can get done.

Solipsism, you're not special
You may be a brain in a jar, might not be
There's no way to ever know so why does it matter whether or not that's the case

OP you're right but i'm too lazy to explain every detail so i'll just sit and read

Basically. Thinks we are constructs of his imagintion or some shit, I know i'm real. fuck this guy.

Also more drunk than earlier

Very interesting mindset, thank you for sharing with me

Why is that?

you dont know shit you silly bitch

post anyway faggioto

I'm pretty drunk too, but at least I have the rationality to believe reality is real. I haven't reached psychosis, yet.

All i know is that if i underwent the Psijic Endeavor i wouldn't fucking zero sum. I'm convinced that i am real.

Get drunk.

You have a point, but at this moment, it wouldn't matter. I can see crystal clear an entity - myself, to which I find no explanation. What's the point of jumping to learn other things, when I can't even figure out the basics

Well this guy thinks being alone in the dark is enough to think he's god. I don't even know what level he's on or what drugs he's been using

This is very close to what I experienced.

Tell me exactly what it is that I don't know, please.

no visuals however, - just my face in the mirror, or dim lights as I walked outside, at 2am in the winter, in silence

OP, I'm about to give you the first non-bullshit answer in this thread.

This is what happens when you explore your own subjective experience.

As for what you can know beyond a shadow of doubt - that's something that philosophy has been addressing for centuries. You could be a brain in a vat, you could not. But the important thing about this is that, we're pretty sure the world around all of us exists.

A much better and more powerful explanation isn't that the world is an illusion, or doesn't exist, but your sense of self, your "ego" is an illusion. This is a huge component in Taosism, and is well worth exploring more thoroughly.

The kind of self-examination of experience you've begun is very rare for people, especially people outside eastern meditative religions. Follow it properly, but don't fall into the trap of believing that it is actually "real" - i.e, that what you feel is actually how the universe is structured. Instead, its simply how your consciousness is structured.

More than anything, don't be afraid. Tonight, take some time. Sit with yourself and follow your breath, and when you began to be afraid, examine that fear more closely, and settle yourself on your breath.

>If no conscious being had ever existed, the universe would not exist.

Why would universe want to do it? Is it tired of being nothing? I love it however, no mater how scary it may seem

We're honestly not that complicated. Our brains have the extra capacity to reason and think. We still die and cease to exist afterwards. Every blade of grass, or a mouse, or tree, or insect, other animal, dies and ceases to exist. Once we die, our brains literally melt. The shit that makes us.. US, literally ceases the second our brains don't make enough oxygen to make the smallest functioning networking neurons function. It isn't hard why people become atheist.
>believe a skygod
or
>believe in shit happens
>entire science, QM, dedicated to "shit happens" exists
>become atheist or agnostic who believes in something different than bible/quran/torah god
Intelligence design isn't significantly farfetched, but believe in made up shit is pretty farfetched. You aren't god, OP.

maybe there is no need to hide away from these thoughts and ideas. Perhaps it's the only thing that will reveal answers. We only have got that much time before death. After that, the entire endless story might happen again - we are bourn but no longer have experience of previous life. We'll have to start over once again, until we find the answer

this

I am sober