Ok guys, I really need your help

Ok guys, I really need your help.

I want to surprise my gf for her birthday(in a few months, so I have time)

I need to know how to safely inject food color or dyes into my sperm sacks. I'm hoping this is possible, because I want to jizz on her with her favorite colors on her birthday.

I was thinking it would go down like this.

>Birthday comes, we have a great day
>come nighttime, time for sexy times
>get a blacklight to make it even more exciting
>right when I'm about to cum, I yell out 'happy birthday! This inks for you!!'
>jizz all over her with her favorite colors and she becomes really happy

So, how do I go about doing this? I've researched the shit outta it and I don't have much to go on.

Halp please, I'm lost and NEED to make this happen for her.

Get a syringe and inject your balls with food coloring. That's what I do.

maybe you should perform some testes there Rainbow Shooter

What size syringe? And where in the scrotum do you inject? Does it matter what type of food grade coloring it is?

this

>do a test now tho
>post results

You idiot.
You'll damage your junk.
If not physically from the injection, then at least from seepage from the chemicals.

I would get fake jizz and dye it and then inject the concoction into your bladder via a catheter tube.

This guy knows his shit. It doesn't even hurt.
Let us know how you get on OP.

do not inject in the scotum skin, you have to inject it inside the balls per se

And it doesnt matter what coloring

Booooring! Let OP live his dream.

I dunno, be a patient. I'm sure a doc tore will arrive here shortly

Just dump a bunch in all the food you eat and water you drink. After a few days, everything that comes out of your body should be inked.
Job done.

Narrowest gauge you can get. You need to go into the testicle not just through the skin.

well
theoretically, if you were to actually do this, the sack in which the fluids are held before ejaculation is the prostate, which is difficult to reach with a needle. you would need a medical professional with a complex knowledge of anatomy and a way to inject the shit in the first place. you can't do this, it won't work
don't encourage him, your cum isn't from your balls, the sperm is.

>implying cum comes from the bladder

Doctor fag here.

Do it faggott

You seem to know a lot about mens junk. Faggot.

Hey user, don't be stupid, if you want a rainbow colored cum party on her face, you should let me and a few others join in! If we all cum at the same time it will be a fucking colored bukake party!

Professional advice! DO EEEET!

Medfag.
Big air bubbles in the syringe will help push it onto your sack.
Seriously. My brother died that way and survived so you'll be fine.

Not sure about the rainbow effect but I'm pretty sure you will shoot a nice dark red color.

I'm not going to pissing on her goof.

How do you know, have you done it?

Yeah, this is going to be a tough one though.


How long would the dye last in a scrotum?

ANYONE WHOS DONE THIS CAN CHIME IN PLEASE?

Look up saline injections and then do that but either with different colored saline or whatever you can find as being a safe colorful alternative.

Sounds like you want glow in the dark though, don't do that.

The air bubbles will also add a nice popping sound when you cum. Good luck OP.

ITT: how to give yourself testicular cancer

If you want glow in the dark baby batter then you need to get hold of some smoke detectors. Break them up and remove the Americium-241. Use this to line your underwear for al least a month. You will then be able to sploog like a motherfucking alien.

ITT: how to wish your girlfriend a happy birthday the awesome way
I fixed that for ya.

Yeah....and?

OP you're being trolled

I am a medical doctor with experience offering borderline unethical treatments in east europe.

I have never met anyone looking for the particular effect you are looking for but I do not recommend you try and inject yourself in this way because of the risks of tissue damage and in the worst case infection. It is unlikely a non-professional would be able to inject your vas deferens without several attempts raising the risk further.

Unless you would like to hire me then your safest option is to use a method known as pressure-backfill. For this you need to take a turkey baster, fill it with the dye of your choice, place it atop your urethra, and then *slowly* and *gently* push the dye back through your urethra into your bladder and vas deferens.

If you do this long enough it will get your the effect that you desire. Good luck!

OP, I'm a legitimate doctor. You can inject that ink in your testicles, don't worry. If the syringe and needle is sterile, you don't have to worry about any kind of infection. I'm sure she will like your surprise!
As Nike says, just do it!

Wise words from Dr Slav Squatter

I don't know if OP will deliver or not but this thread has reminded me of the Sup Forums of old. I'm close to tears but not as close as OP soon will be.

On the off chance this is successful and you get to keep your nutsack. might I suggest trying again for Halloween with blood red dye so you can scare the absolute shit out of her.

When you said "gf" you lost me...

I don't think blood red will be a problem. It will be getting it back to white that poses a challenge.

...

>my sperm sacks
What are you, a squid?

I'm an octopus actually, you insensitive clod!

>My brother died that way and survived

There's literally nothing wrong with being a squid.

>I'm not going to pissing on her

what a pointless relationship

I'd like to be under the sea
In an FourChanner's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his FourChanner's garden in the shade.

This could be a good superhero origin story.
Do it OP!

drill a hole in your head and let the sap run out

Dye your dick and balls.

Are you still here OP?
Have you decided to go ahead with this cunning plan?

You've actually entertained me, OP.

Fucking majestic idea op, wish I'd thought of it. Maybe you could get some of those glow stick things in her favourite colours. Split em open, extract the liquid and use that. Glow in the dark fetch all over her tits would make an epic pic. Make sure you post the results.

It's like the Sup Forums of old.
We are just missing details of OPs trip to the ER to get his gangreenous junk sorted out.

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Wow what a an intelligent faggot