Bastardbowl edition.
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Bastardbowl edition.
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Azor Jon! 1st
...
1st for balding Sophie Turner
Why do you make an early thread when we're slow and why do you autistically keep using that image and edition?
stannis best daddyfu
so any leaks for tomorrows episode?
The previous thread was shit.
Post more Lyanna.
THe books will never be finished.
Nth for /stannisstillalive/
Will you forgive D&D if they give him the armor for the battle?
fivehead
Armour weakens him.
;_;
>tfw HBO is ruining your magnum opus
Depends on how it looks. Better than fighting shirtless.
He must, with Dr. Feelgood as his traveling minstrel
He'll be shirtless and wielding dual daggers
He also unleashes the hounds.
Leaks confirm, get hype
Do you think he gives a shit?
A company paid him millions to do their own ending to a story he lost interest in.
D&D have already forgotten about him. They've basically retconned him out of the canon.
>tfw your net worth is $65 million
Where the fuck is Ghost?
This. If he had any passion for writing the story it would be done by now
He better fucking not be!
do we know how rich gurm is exactly?
who is the richest actor on the show?
who has the most screentime?
>According to leaks, Jack Black cameos in the next episode as a Northern Lord who bends the knee to the Starks
Time to drop the show
Those leaks were false
Yes, dinklage, dinklage
It really is shit
He was paid tens of millions to put his story on HBO
HBO took some creative liberties with it, and George continues to count the stacks of cash HBO gives him out in his desert palace, so he'll get over it
>write some half-decent fantasy story, blow my load on the first 3 books
>company pays me millions to adapt it into tv show, start to lose motivation for writing since I'm rich af
>tell my readers I'm working whilst going on holidays and going to conventions where I'm seen as a god by groupies.
>my avid readers think I'm going to finish my book when I'm this old, I'd rather just live my rich lavish lifestyle then attempt to appease some diehard book nerds.
They bound Aeron Damphair tight with strips of leather that would shrink when wet, clad only in his beard and breechclout. The Crow’s Eye spoke a command; a black sail was raised, lines were cast off, and the Silence backed away from shore to the slow beat of the oarmaster’s drum, her oars rising and dipping and rising again, churning the water. Above them, the castle was burning, flames licking from the open windows.
When they were well out to sea, Euron returned to him. “Brother,” he said, “you look forlorn. I have a gift for you.”
He beckoned, and two of his bastard sons dragged the woman forward and bound her to the prow on the other side of the figurehead. Naked as the mouthless maiden, her smooth belly just beginning to swell with the child she was carrying, her cheeks red with tears, she did not struggle as the boys tightened her bonds. Her hair hung down in front of her face, but Aeron knew her all the same.
“Falia Flowers,” he called. “Have courage, girl! All this will be over soon, and we will feast
together in the Drowned God’s watery halls.”
The girl raised up her head, but made no answer. She has no tongue to answer with, the Damphair knew.
He licked his lips, and tasted salt.
got anymore of those bro? I only have this one and the faith militant one.
Kino
How come the Starks never had their own men?
If the Boltons could raise 5,000 from their own house, why couldn't the ruling house of the North ever raise thousands of their own?
mfw dany wins everything
Well when you put it like that.
They all died in the war at the Red Wedding
Hey, he has worked hard for many years. Banging fans at conventions is the least he deserves.
Yeah but Sparrows will still own the real power.
GRRM doesn't live a "rich lavish lifestyle." He lives in a mediocre house with a mediocre care blogging about football and scifi/fantasy books. He already had enough money to afford his only two desires (tickets to conventions and fast food) so all the millions in the world are nothing.
>people genuinely think this
They did, Roose led a lot of them to their deaths in the later stages of the War of the Five Kings, and the rest were finished off in the Red Wedding
>what is the War of the Five Kings
>what is the Red Wedding
did you just started watching the show, reddit?
Get your shitty attempt at "leaks" out of here. You were already exposed
Nope, I only ever see the Faith Militant one these days. I had to make the Renly one myself.
he sold way more books because of the show
Him and Kyle Gass playing a sick battle hymn during cringebowl would be 10x more compelling than all of seasons 5 and 6.
This is something I'd like to know
bards giving the fighters +1 spirit
Rewatching season 2 and goddamn I just want Robb to win so much.
now u know
When he laughed his face sloughed off and the priest saw that it was not Urri but Euron, the smiling eye hidden. He showed the world his blood eye now, dark and terrible. Clad head to heel in scale as dark as onyx, he sat upon a mound of blackened skulls as dwarfs capered round his feet and a forest burned behind him.
“The bleeding star bespoke the end,” he said to Aeron. “These are the last days, when the world shall be broken and remade. A new god shall be born from the graves and charnel pits.”
Then Euron lifted a great horn to his lips and blew, and dragons and krakens and sphinxes came at his command and bowed before him. “Kneel, brother,” the Crow’s Eye commanded. “I am your king, I am your god. Worship me, and I will raise you up to be my priest.”
“Never. No godless man may sit the Seastone Chair!”
“Why would I want that hard black rock? Brother, look again and see where I am seated.”
Aeron Damphair looked. The mound of skulls was gone. Now it was metal underneath the Crow’s Eye: a great, tall, twisted seat of razor sharp iron, barbs and blades and broken swords, all dripping blood.
Impaled upon the longer spikes were the bodies of the gods. The Maiden was there and the Father and the Mother, the Warrior and Crone and Smith…even the Stranger. They hung side by side with all manner of queer foreign gods: the Great Shepherd and the Black Goat, three-headed Trios and the Pale Child Bakkalon, the Lord of Light and the butterfly god of Naath.
And there, swollen and green, half-devoured by crabs, the Drowned God festered with the rest, seawater still dripping from his hair. Then, Euron Crow’s Eye laughed again, and the priest woke screaming in the bowels of Silence, as piss ran down his leg. It was only a dream, a vision born of foul black wine.
>Lady Crane: "My final speech is shit. But to be fair to myself, which I always like to be, the writing is no good."
>Mummer director: "Oh, we all thinkers now, are we? Full to the tits with ideas. You have ideas, I have ideas, he has ideas. Why should my ideas have more value than yours? Simply because I have been dong this my whole life. Who’s anyone to judge my work. This is my profession and you have no right to an opinion!"
What did they mean by this?
...
Let's get down to business. Why is he so perfect?
Bryan Cogman is an incredible hack who throws akward meta dialogue into his episodes and not a single mainstream critic calls him out on it?
Why is she so perfect bros?
Literally pure waifu: the character.
Based Cogman slamming on D&D's shit writing.
D&D won`t bring him back for the Jaime arc (Since it doesn`t exist, and since Bron is a fan favorite). But the could bring him back for the sweet Arya murder.
>marrying a foreign lannister spy
>beheading your bannermen
>not allying with stannis
>having _ONE_ guard watch over jaime lannister
That fuck up didn't deserve to win
First for Kinvara, High Priestess of the Red Temple of Volantis, the Flame of Truth, the Light of Wisdom, and First Servant of the Lord of Light. For the thread is dank and full of memes.
karstark dindu nuffin!
...
He was a stupid boy with an even more stupid mother, and thanks to GRRM's "realism" he died for it.
PLOMISE ME NEDU
>killing lannisters during a war against the lannisters is punishable by death
They should've been above making a meta scene like that.
I know that's a pretty ridiculous thing to say at this point, but still.
...
i feel dirty saving that but thanks user
All of those things are dumb except allying with Stannis
If he allied with Stannis, the only difference would be Stannis would have gotten more Northern support when he marched on Winterfell if the Northern Lords were his ally before Robb's death, Robb himself would have ultimately gotten nothing out of the alliance before he died
Killing children.
mai waifu
Robb is a big fat idiot who thought with his dick. Fucking dummy didn't deserve to win.
Now CIA there is a man who knows what he wants. He honestly deserves to win for all the shit he's accomplished p much on his own.
tell me what robb stark was going to do to joffrey once he conquered kings landing.
I agree, CIA for ruler!
If his dumb bannermen didn't make him a king he could have allied with Stannis/Renly. If his dumb uncle didn't chase glory and let Tywin chase him Stannis would have taken KL. Just so many butterfly effects.
>P-P-PLEASE DON'T KILL ME CERSEI
>P-P-PLEASE DON'T KILL ME SALSA
So after Jon captures Winterfell and becomes King, assuming that the Wall doesn't fall at the end of the season, who gets Karhold, who gets the Dreadfort and who gets Last Hearth?
Guessing Tormund will get Last Hearth and take a fair number of whatever fighting age Wildlings are left and make their home there.
The old and child Wildlings and some fighting age Wildlings will probably be split between Karhold and the Dreadfort.
Except show CIA is thinking with his dick too and is clearly being set up to marry Sansa
Show Joffrey was old enough to be killed, and unlike the Lannister kids wasn't innocent.
>Cersei loses her kids blows up KL
>Salsa had her asshole ruined
>LF owns the Vale, keeps on truckin
Why not do what works?
Why would you allow your devious schemes to fail merely because you were too immature to say "sorry".
Pretty sure that there are still surviving members
fucking Robb, this fucking idiot Robb
imagine
>doesn't let his dick cloud his judgement, therefore Freys are still bolstering his army and also no red wedding
>doesn't go full autist against Karstark, makes him take the black or some shit like that rather than taking his fucking head off
>FUCKING KEEPS EDMURE IN THE LOOP ABOUT IMPORTANT SHIT LIKE HIS PLAN TO LET STANNIS BURN KINGS LANDING TO THE GROUND (seriously, Edmure is one of your top leaders strategy 101 says to keep him aware)
fucking Robb
and this is ignoring the understandable mistake of letting Theon go back to Iron Islands since Robb did have a lot of trust in him
All of this began though when he made the stupid decision to let his lords name him king.
Fucking Robb
I'm
Sho
Shorry
*shorry
You're implying the Umbers aren't going to betray the Boltons. Its been set up, no oaths sworn. Brought in a would be assassin but Ramsay saw through it.
tell me what robb stark would've done to tommen then.
Karstark lands go to whatever Karstarks are left that bend the knee to the Starks, Bolton land, territories and riches are split amongst the other Northern Lords in reward for their loyalty
They'll all have to be put to the sword to be honest.
Their relatives went to war against the Starks and were party to the murder of Rickon, can't trust an Umber or Karstark fucking shit after that
Made him his fuccboi obviously. Tommen is good for that.
Not killed him.
Sansa and Littlefinger will get the Dreadfort, Davos will get Karhold, and Tormund will ironically get Last Hearth
He isn't bobby b and tommen did nothing wrong.
Given Tommen and Myrcella to the Dornish in return for their fealty
>Littlefinger
>getting northern land in the fuckin cold he has no use for and will never visit
>Sansa
>not staying in the home she pushed Jon to fight for
No
Crash his speech?