You wake up in a Brazilian prison

>you wake up in a Brazilian prison

What do?

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youtu.be/gkmYbWkhK5U?t=1h6m27s
youtu.be/J4YZyJtYLws?t=7m42s
youtu.be/YIuQDYuXhMM?t=49m42s
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rape the white cute boy

youtu.be/gkmYbWkhK5U?t=1h6m27s
(it is at 1:06:27, if it does not work)

wonder how did I get on the set of Planet of the Apes

Get placed in the gay/tranny ward so I can fuck trannies and live in peace
7:40s
youtu.be/J4YZyJtYLws?t=7m42s

Start a riot of course

Bribe the guards, pay some inmates to be my personal body guards, and live like a king cause I'm probably the richest there

become a trap. survival chance goes up 25%. Chances of getting aids goes up60%.

These conditions are not acceptable for human beings.

they're not human beings

>60%

Lowballing it i see. Its a numeric certainty lol

I get raped, then shanked.

Protect the bumhole putting it against the wall and don't eat the fucked up meal (the prisional agents cum in the meal).

I'm surprised they even get food

I've visited one prison one for humanitarian work and the food is actually quite nice. They eat beef everyday, some days they have pizza and others feijoada. The prison wards are very afraid of the prisoners rebelling due to bad food (happened a lot in the past) so that's the only nice thing they have.

>don't eat the fucked up meal (the prisional agents cum in the meal).

It's always an outsourced company that owns the canteens and prepare the meals, the agents don't even touch it.

kek no why would they let you do it when they have the power - THEY CHOOSE HOW MUCH YOULL PAY. i know the brazilian prisional system pretty well, here whats more likely to happen:
>im a rich french i'll pay you how... *gets punched in the mouth* (no guards are around, the prisioners rule the prisions, at least inside the cells)
>give you the hardest beating you ever took, youll probably loose a few teeth
>give you a cellphone and make you call your mother
>give a bank account for her to deposit an insane value, like the biggest value your family can afford without going bankrupt
>tell her if she doesnt pay the value they are going to rape your ass every day every hour with diseases
>youll pay
>they keep charging it more and more you are now broken and in debt
>you just became their slave forever

Check this out (at 49:42):

youtu.be/YIuQDYuXhMM?t=49m42s

ask for lawyer and for a telephon call with German embassy
I am sure they would bring me out of the prison somehow

Hone a sharp plastic shiv out of the end of my toothbrush (inb4 british teeth joke) in my cell and carry it around with me everywhere just incase some nigger or muzzie tries to start shit.

Refuse any offerings like cigarettes or chocolate from anyone, because I know it would give them the feeling that I "owe" them something.

Many prisons have race-affiliated gangs so I'd probably join with a white gang for safety.

>brazil
>white

>find a bedsheet (if there is one in that hell)
>use it to hang myself

Whites don't commit crimes in Brazil, because there are no whites in Brazil. You'd be gang raped, cut to pieces to have your organs spread all over the floor.

>you wake up in a Brazilian prison

Be glad it isn't a prison in El Salvador

Die, hopefully quickly and painlessly

Tell that I'm innocent in galician

They will surely understand me.

I think I'm able to beat a brazilian prisoner with bare hands.

No kidding.

I practise MMA since 6 years, boxing in parallel since 7 years
Also musuclation since 4 years, 1m87 for 86kg

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the brazilian prisoner is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.

Any man with a minimum of training can beat a brazilian prisoner with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

That's some mortal kombat tier shit how can they survive in such an environment ?

Get shived