>go to the kino corner of my local cinema
>my patrician license expired and the hooded ones are making me go through the seven trials and initiation of the crab leg again
Go to the kino corner of my local cinema
i love this meme
so just post Sup Forumsandom /rk9/ stuff?
same
fuck off reddit
>dance intermission in theatre torture chamber
>have to get out of the iron maiden before the chorus or it shuts permanently
>SOMETIMES IM CRAZY FROOOOOOG
I really wish they got another song, they always pick that one
These stories are like a schizophrenics fever dream. Please continue
>walking in guard assisted tubular hallway to showing of Muppets Most Wanted
>the tiles start floating off the floor
>go get my butter bag before my showing of Pixels
>the guard's watchtower ran out of butter
>have to use the backdoor to go to the butter dimension in Tangier and acquire more bars to melt into butter
>can see the outline of a sand worm in my peripheral
>Be me with some other moviegoers
>Trying to find our way through the theatre sewer in search for the kinomatique showing room
>It's dark, water and feces everywhere
>Suddenly the sewer monster turns up
>Eats half of the audience
>Just as the sewer monster is about to kill me the theatre clown comes speeding along on a jetski and kills it with a crossbow after doing a backflip and aiming at it
>He stops and gets off the craft
>"That'll be 20$ plus tip dear sir"
It's the third time this has happened to me this week alone
>the falcon bidet in the theatre showers is out of order
>on my way to the kino quarry with my cell mates
>trip on something
>it's a copy of Bridesmaids on dvd
>sky starts to darken
>overseers arrive before I can put down the normie flick
>found guilty on the spot
>frozen tendies are tied to my ankles
>thrown in Chad Creek
>start to lose consciousness
>that ain't me doesn't start playing
...
>at a busy Saturday Night showing
>finally get in the door, waiting at the concession stand
>announcement is made they are out of crab legs
>people in line are visibly upset. One woman is shaking.
>I leave the concession stand line and go to the Falcon Aviary to pickup my rental
>guy hands me my falcon and a coupon for "buy 1 get 1 free Crab Legs"
>roll my eyes
>board the tram for the theater
>all the seats are full, have to stand
>smell of crab legs fills the cabin
>finally reach my screening after like 12 stops
>pass thru the metal detector
>sit down just as the film starts
>announcement is made over the PA "crab legs are back in stock at the concession stand!"
i had to have sex with a newborn baby like in the Serbian Film to get in to see Blue Valentine
>falcon up in tree, wont respond to my high-pitched, shrieking bird calls
>end up having to pick up a new falcon on the way to the theater
>falcons sold out except for one untrained one, the owner warns me to keep an eye on him
>get to theater late, pre-screening seance already started
>run into underground kino labyrinth just before the stone slab doors close shut
>the audience was waiting for the next person to enter (me) to be their victim
>weapons pointed at me from every single angle
>rented falcon flies around me, taking every single bullet and poison dart for me, saving my life
>tfw he died so i could watch Norm of the North
it wasn't worth it bros
bump
...
...
>on my way to the local kino altar
>remember that today is the monthly offering to the kino deities
>forgot to bring offering
>can't turn back and risk being late because I already used my two strikes
>forced to sacrificially burn my Sicilia! DVD that i found in my portable DVD player
How do you not get that frogposting is the most Reddit meme on Sup Forums
>talking to Tyrone, the new Aviary Colored Guardian (ACG), about the new trends in falconry
>tell him my falcon Caligula is trained to catch mice and sparrows and talks five different animal languages
>he smirks and shows me his credential
>he is an undercover Feminist Thought Police officer
>now I have to serve three years cleaning interracial breeding camps because I didn't ask what my falcon's preferred pronouns are and also three charges of Aggravated Mansplaining
This meme has gotten really weird.
You mean it's gotten really good
>going to theater to watch a flick
>notice the cinema has a new "no singles" sign up
>forced to pay a homeless man to come see Zootopia with me
>crab boat pulls up to the theater pier right when I get in
>get a couple live crabs and a sack of boiling water so I can make my own crab legs in the theater
>get up to ticket ripper
>suddenly search lights stop on me and the homeless man
>kino inquisition runns up and tackles us to the ground
>tuns out the man I brought was banned from theaters and didn't have a theater license
>spilled my bag of boiling water and the grabs snibbed me
they let me go in and see the movie though when I said one of the crabs was my date
The problem with these threads is that everyone is just rehashing old stuff in unfunny ways.
>CRAB LEGS
>ANVILS
>FALCONS
>SINGLES POLICY
>ORWELLIAN SECURITY
It's stale. The reason why those things took off in the first place was because they were bizarrely original. Almost kafkaesque. They hinted at a curious & extraordinary world. Since they've been repeated a thousand times it's lost that edge. It's just (what I assume to be) teenagers spouting memes.
i get what you're saying but i think your standards are too high. this meme is the closest to old Sup Forums we're ever going to get again. the spread of cynicism and post-irony makes these threads practically impossible as it is.