Go to the kino corner of my local cinema

>go to the kino corner of my local cinema
>my patrician license expired and the hooded ones are making me go through the seven trials and initiation of the crab leg again

i love this meme

so just post Sup Forumsandom /rk9/ stuff?

same
fuck off reddit

>dance intermission in theatre torture chamber
>have to get out of the iron maiden before the chorus or it shuts permanently
>SOMETIMES IM CRAZY FROOOOOOG

I really wish they got another song, they always pick that one

These stories are like a schizophrenics fever dream. Please continue

>walking in guard assisted tubular hallway to showing of Muppets Most Wanted
>the tiles start floating off the floor

>go get my butter bag before my showing of Pixels
>the guard's watchtower ran out of butter
>have to use the backdoor to go to the butter dimension in Tangier and acquire more bars to melt into butter
>can see the outline of a sand worm in my peripheral

>Be me with some other moviegoers
>Trying to find our way through the theatre sewer in search for the kinomatique showing room
>It's dark, water and feces everywhere
>Suddenly the sewer monster turns up
>Eats half of the audience
>Just as the sewer monster is about to kill me the theatre clown comes speeding along on a jetski and kills it with a crossbow after doing a backflip and aiming at it
>He stops and gets off the craft
>"That'll be 20$ plus tip dear sir"

It's the third time this has happened to me this week alone

>the falcon bidet in the theatre showers is out of order

>on my way to the kino quarry with my cell mates
>trip on something
>it's a copy of Bridesmaids on dvd
>sky starts to darken
>overseers arrive before I can put down the normie flick
>found guilty on the spot
>frozen tendies are tied to my ankles
>thrown in Chad Creek
>start to lose consciousness
>that ain't me doesn't start playing

...

>at a busy Saturday Night showing
>finally get in the door, waiting at the concession stand
>announcement is made they are out of crab legs
>people in line are visibly upset. One woman is shaking.
>I leave the concession stand line and go to the Falcon Aviary to pickup my rental
>guy hands me my falcon and a coupon for "buy 1 get 1 free Crab Legs"
>roll my eyes
>board the tram for the theater
>all the seats are full, have to stand
>smell of crab legs fills the cabin
>finally reach my screening after like 12 stops
>pass thru the metal detector
>sit down just as the film starts
>announcement is made over the PA "crab legs are back in stock at the concession stand!"

i had to have sex with a newborn baby like in the Serbian Film to get in to see Blue Valentine

>falcon up in tree, wont respond to my high-pitched, shrieking bird calls
>end up having to pick up a new falcon on the way to the theater
>falcons sold out except for one untrained one, the owner warns me to keep an eye on him
>get to theater late, pre-screening seance already started
>run into underground kino labyrinth just before the stone slab doors close shut
>the audience was waiting for the next person to enter (me) to be their victim
>weapons pointed at me from every single angle
>rented falcon flies around me, taking every single bullet and poison dart for me, saving my life
>tfw he died so i could watch Norm of the North
it wasn't worth it bros

bump

...

...

>on my way to the local kino altar
>remember that today is the monthly offering to the kino deities
>forgot to bring offering
>can't turn back and risk being late because I already used my two strikes
>forced to sacrificially burn my Sicilia! DVD that i found in my portable DVD player

How do you not get that frogposting is the most Reddit meme on Sup Forums

>talking to Tyrone, the new Aviary Colored Guardian (ACG), about the new trends in falconry
>tell him my falcon Caligula is trained to catch mice and sparrows and talks five different animal languages
>he smirks and shows me his credential
>he is an undercover Feminist Thought Police officer
>now I have to serve three years cleaning interracial breeding camps because I didn't ask what my falcon's preferred pronouns are and also three charges of Aggravated Mansplaining

This meme has gotten really weird.

You mean it's gotten really good

>going to theater to watch a flick
>notice the cinema has a new "no singles" sign up
>forced to pay a homeless man to come see Zootopia with me
>crab boat pulls up to the theater pier right when I get in
>get a couple live crabs and a sack of boiling water so I can make my own crab legs in the theater
>get up to ticket ripper
>suddenly search lights stop on me and the homeless man
>kino inquisition runns up and tackles us to the ground
>tuns out the man I brought was banned from theaters and didn't have a theater license
>spilled my bag of boiling water and the grabs snibbed me

they let me go in and see the movie though when I said one of the crabs was my date

The problem with these threads is that everyone is just rehashing old stuff in unfunny ways.

>CRAB LEGS
>ANVILS
>FALCONS
>SINGLES POLICY
>ORWELLIAN SECURITY

It's stale. The reason why those things took off in the first place was because they were bizarrely original. Almost kafkaesque. They hinted at a curious & extraordinary world. Since they've been repeated a thousand times it's lost that edge. It's just (what I assume to be) teenagers spouting memes.

i get what you're saying but i think your standards are too high. this meme is the closest to old Sup Forums we're ever going to get again. the spread of cynicism and post-irony makes these threads practically impossible as it is.