WE AIN'T HAD NOTHIN' BUT MAGGOTY BREAD FOR THREE STINKIN' DAYS!

WE AIN'T HAD NOTHIN' BUT MAGGOTY BREAD FOR THREE STINKIN' DAYS!

MEAT

HAS RETURNETH

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ON

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THY MENU

why didn't harry potter simply ride his broom to the top of mordor then say accio ring and drop it in the fire and if sauron tried to kill him, just avada kevadra that motherfucker?

So fucking simple.

Last time someone in a movie tried that, they lost sight of their destination.

tolkien was a simple guy, user.

what about their legs, they don't need those.

>Look! Slike Smeatsbach's on Thimehnu!

Who was Slike Smeatsbach and why was he on Thimehnu? Sometimes Tolkein's characters are hard to follow.

you can have them if you share

How did orcs know what a menu is?

I wonder if maggots were the key between our Earth and Middle Earth. It seems like they would be able to squeeze their way through each dimension with relative ease.

How do you know what a menu is? You heard about it when you were a kid etc. etc.

orcs were creatures born of the mountains, unearthed as fully-grown, functional adults. There were no females or children.

Slike Smeachbach was the orc he killed. Thimehnu is the afterlife for orcs and Uruk-hai in Tolkien's cosmology during the initial draft. This was a simple nod to the fanbase from Jackson that he and his team were intimately familiar with the source material and Tolkien's work was in good hands.

They are not for eating

Im sure they have some sort of "Tavern" where they can get food. It isn't so crazy that there isn't a menu in said tavern

orcs were unearthed, then put to work. they didn't have an understanding of the world outside the mountain except for during times of war. it is highly doubtful that even if they were to frequent a tavern, they would know how to read.

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I think the actual line was:

>What about their appendixes? They don't need those.

What exactly does the ring do other than turn a person invisible and drives them mad?

In lord of the rings online when you venture into the pits of isengard as a slave you help clean up the slop from an Orc tavern. It's unlikely they ever had a selection of what to eat though

It fills the bearer's minds with thoughts about Sauron's boypussy in his cute think form. That boypussy destroyed the greatest empire the world had ever seen once, you know?

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Well then when they were raiding a small village they heard the word menu and thought it was interesting then the word diffused amongst their little party. There, happy? :)

I sensibly chuckled

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It enhances the wearer's power. That's why Gandalf and Galadriel didn't want to take it. It would make them super powerful and corrupt them and they would just turn into mini-Saurons themselves. The invisible part is basically retconned by Tolkien himself. When he originally wrote The Hobbit, the ring was just some random ring of no significance that made the wearer invisible. He later decided he wanted to tie the events of The Hobbit into his larger Middle Earth mythos.

Orcs were elves, m8. Elves can read.

The age of quip is over
Time of the Orc has come!

I wish.

The orcs are considered barbarians with no culture, yet they know what a menu is

Explain this to me.

See
They were not always this way.

That they're warped elves is kinda irrelevant because they don't really possess their own minds until Sauron dies, as we find out at the Black Gate

Orc-kino when?

What I want to know is how did Aragorn hear their footsteps through a fucking mountain or something.