/brit/

Slaughter the niggers in the streets edition

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doing a poo

Want to travel to Sydney without flying

I claim brit in the name of the great land down under!

better get swimming

haha jks we're full fuck off xx

New Zealand?

going to make oxtail stew in the slow cooker

...

hungry now

bring me some for lunch lad?

...

no that would give me a panic attack.

wtf i'm at war with Australia now
thanks Donny T.

well it takes 8 hours to cook so you'll be waiting a while haha

As if you guys have imprisoned Syrians in concentration camps in Nauru

You are basically nazis

I'll give you a ride on my dick

Trump hung up on our PM lads

Literally shaking rn

what a mug you can buy it in a can for 50p and cook it in 4 minutes hahaha

wtf he cant do that

t.povvo cunt

that's beyond runty

At work got a tesco chicken tikka for lunch

timewasting spacker lmao

...

Prepbull was not having it

*slaps it out of your hands*
pick that up

Not the same guy who was making the soup, just joined in to insult you

*goes to pick it up*
*pulls your trousers down*

>You are basically nazis

I fucking wish

REEE IT'S NOT A SOUP IT'S A STEWWW MUMMY

I wish I was a midget. They look like they have fun lives.

*slaps you with my floppy ballsack*

>why yes i do spend hours cooking meals when tesco sells perfectly good meals in a can for 50p-£1

i bet you make your own curries and chili con carne too

this is all you need for dinner. 53p and you're sorted

[–]Drugsmakemehappy 5 points 2 hours ago
Yes.
We will steal from every store owner until they give their goods away for free. We will burn down every building until they let us use them as our homes. We will steal from the rich, we will feed the poor. We will come into your homes and eat your food.
We are the poor, the tired, the hungry. You'll give us riches or we'll steal them, you'll give us beds or we'll take them, you'll feed us or we will feed ourselves.
You will heal our sick or we will assault your healthy.
We're done begging for change.

>imagine being unironically okay with ingesting this

wew

Ah yes 260 calories and you're sorted.

very annoyed at being alive

feed this to my free range runts all the time

>ahhhh yes, I DO enjoy eating curry with chicken that tastes like plastic with little to no spice at all

HOWLING at your povvo existence

264 calories m8

the extra 4 make a world of difference

obviously you put some rice with it as well

>eating readymeals

don't do this

Then you will be poor, tired, and hungry for a lot longer it seems

>with chicken that tastes like plastic with little to no spice at all

sorry have you ever tried it?

ahhh yes anxiety

Does that come in a can too?

hahaha
*chugs a pack of diazepam*

yes

homemade tastes INFINITELY better especially with proper organic chicken

DO NOT reply to me again you peasant

>idiots not realising that food in cans is 100x more healthy and delicious than the shite they make themselves

Annoyed at my sub 1MB/s download speeds.
Downloading porn is so annoying.
And there's nothing I can do, it's not possible to upgrade without sky changing the line and fibre wasn't available when we moved here.
Going from 10MB/s with virgin to this is torture.

who /hum/ here?

vocaroo.com/i/s1xdScZ8xKbn

no you haven't. don't lie

>organic chicken

fucking HOWLING at you

Deep breathe mate

Wouldn't be that long before they get shot.

gf wants to get a dog and a duck

told her the dog would probably eat the duck

now she won't talk to me

Qt. x

>eating meat

just eat lentils you silly cunts

Living in the countryside?

get a duck bigger than the dog

got an old plate sitting in my room and keep getting a whiff of fish

disgusting but too lazy to get out of bed and do something about it

I'd have to get some spastic runt dog for that

@ 70705387

>no you haven't

ahh yes, you know this how?

this will be my last acknowledgement of your sad existence, good day

Yeah, but sometimes even whole blocks of flats in the city centre can't get fibre, so it's not entirely dependent on location.

had the same problem.

Just put it in the bathroom

just told someone to fuck off back to their own country in farmfoods

ok siri open up indeed.com

>rating big dogs
enjoy you neccessary long walks and massive shits

just got told to fuck off back to my own country in farmfoods

because i've been memeing this whole time and if you've ever actually taken it upon yourself to eat a 53p tin of chicken curry then you're an absolute disgrace and you should consider offing yourself 2bh

Fuck off you slimy cunt

do NOT want a small yappy shit tier dog

hey siri give my life emotional closure x

lots of small dogs are based

only insecure men think otherwise

oi siri bruv, bell the weedman

ok siri open up centrelink.com.au

>Self-improvement
speak for yourself

It's humanservices.gov.au you absolute cretin

I'm nearly 2billion experience in runescape.... If that's not self improvement what is.

ok siri search for turtleneck modelling agencies in Sydney

I misspelt, it's centrelink.gov.au actually

wow I've never been on an australian website before

weird innit

everything being upside down an that

holy fuck thats like at least a few 200ms right?

hey siri find me a nice chubby bf

need an aussie bf with phimosis

>Me now
Live in spacious childhood home with family, in comfy semi-rural town. Work as a barman 20hrs per week and keep all money due to not paying for food/rent. Able to leave work to go travelling whenever I want, and re-join whenever I want. Get to know lots of people in the local community, and have many friends here. Get lots of free time for my hobbies, which include long walks in nature, brewing craft beer, playing piano and guitar, and playing sports.

>Me next week
Working first """real""" job in London. Work from 8 until 5 (plus an extra half hour either side for commute), Monday to Friday, week after week. Even more limits on what I should wear and how I should behave. Pay an extortionate amount for a small flatshare in a big apartment block. Most likely have little to no time for hobbies and will spend weekends recovering from tiredness. But on the other hand, will earn £30k and get a PhD and lots of other professional qualifications funded for me.


Did I fuck up lads? I'm convinced that the semi-NEET lifestyle is the way it was always meant to be - spending any more than 30hrs per week working, especially if it's just to put money into Mr. Shekelstein's pockets, is no way to live.

What's it like to be a manlet in Britain?

hey cortana find me the nearest tree to hang myself from

>tfw 5'9 and built like an Ethiopia sprinter

tl;dr

not reading one word of this novella

yes you fucked up VERY hard

didnt read any of your probably shit post

Chelsea are unironically going to take the PL

Going to squeal myself to sleep tonight over how absolutely BTFO remoaners are

>me now
contemplating a poo

Shan't, just plain and simply shan't

Alright in the North as we all are small

Do I:

A: Go back to lectures this afernoon.

B: Do a nap

sorry i'm taken

Believe this to be a Londonistan falseflag