WELL DONE HUFFLEPUFF WELL DONE...HOWEVER

WELL DONE HUFFLEPUFF WELL DONE...HOWEVER

dude what did old gandalf say?

>Snape, I know you're mad about getting cucked, but that's no reason to constantly dick over Gryffindor, and certainly no reason to favour slytherin
>Snape, cut that shit out
>fuck it, I warned you, you cheeky little twat

To think that once I thought Dumbleposting had legs...

>now let's go back focusing all our attention to Our prodigy Harry Potter and suck his dick wherever he goes.

Dumb dumposter

the one saving grace of this series was how harry finally learned what a colossal cunt Dumbledore truly was

why rape when you can give polyjuice to a friend and fuck anybody that way?

Love potion wears off though, and I assume it's not too difficult to put two and two together.

The connoisseur's choice for rape is obviously polyjuice or Imperius, since the latter tends to fuck about with memories.

Hufflepuff best house

Prove me wrong you can't

I like Albusposting. Keep it up.

Chris Chan

nigga looks like he's getting a promotion

He did? Dumbledore is? Sorry I only watched the one with the giant talking spiders in the forest.

As a teen, Dumbledore was for enslaving muggles, pureblood purity and (possibly) killed his sister while fighting his brother.

He also propped up an ignorant orphan boy as his only shield against wizard Hitler without informing or even arming said orphan boy.

He seemed like such a kindly old man though. Surely he learned from his mistakes.

>He also propped up an ignorant orphan boy as his only shield against wizard Hitler without informing or even arming said orphan boy.

>I’ve seen too many Slave stories where Harry is gay, let the slaves take control somehow, or treats them as equals - for once I want to see a story where Harry is a true Master, who is in control and forces the female slaves to do the things HE wants them to do, be it beat them, force them to have sex or things like that.
Fan fiction

Harry potter is a hero, he can take it.

their mascot is a badger lmao
their name is retarded lmao

Harry is a mediocre wizard and a bad friend.

The only reason he could take it was because Dumbledore sent him to an abusive family the first 11 years before letting him go into danger several times causing him to lose his father figure and be mentally unstable for some time before hardening up.

I thought he's the prophesied chosen one with his special scar.

He barely even tried to become a good wizard, never had any really hunger to learn or to excel in magical prowess. He was entirely average in most respects.

Were he just a normal student, he would have been quiet content to coast along on his mediocrity and would have put more effort into flying a broom than anything else.

*quite content

I know this point is overstated, but seriously, Harry was such a little shit. You find out at 11 years old that magic is real and you don't go out of your way to read all about that shit? History of Magic sounds fucking kickass, I'd have been asking for extra homework and shit.

Exactly, I couldn't agree more. I blame Ron for this shit.

Anyone would've gotten power hungry as fuck if they found out about magic at 11.

Dumble did way more than use Harry to fight Voldemort. He was also able to fight him 1v1.

>History of Magic taught by A FUCKING GHOST

FTFY

>History

A useless subject. Let me learn the subject that turns gold into lead and become invisible.

whole lot of fanfiction readers itt

to be honest no one else would actually discuss Harry Potter in 2016

>muh black hermione
>muh shitty new play
I don't even consider that canon

Once. And accomplished nothing.

Despite knowing about Horcruxes for years, Dumbledore found only one. He didn't even directly tell Harry about them, just let him work it out through skimming the memories of other people. Knowing he was dying, he sent a mildly retarded 17 year old Harry on a mission to find and destroy Wizard hitler's soul without even telling him what to look for or telling him he was dying or anything he learned during that last vital year.

He also literally knew that one of the friends he set Harry up with was a shit who would wig out. Good stuff.

Don't forget Dumbledore also pretty much left to blind chance whether the Ministry would actually pass on his willed items to them or not.

They could have just as easily said nah and not handed them over.

Dumbledore is not only a terrible person, but a terrible educator.

>Student poisons another student in order to rape them
American principal:
>Police called, student expelled, full trial
Dumbledore:
>Literally nothing

The fact that they had a Whomping Willow on school grounds without so much as a fence around it or a warning sign, not to mention the hordes of giant spiders in the adjacent forest, the poltergeist, the basalisk in the basement, and a number of other death traps in the building really goes to show that wizards really don't care at all about the safety of their children.

>School teacher literally torturing a student
American principal:
>Report teacher to the authorities, fire teacher
McGonnagal
>Advise the student to keep his head down.

Cool.

I lost all respect for her when she said that.
You'd have expected her to barge in and make the toad suffer.

It's kind of like Sparta. If you can't survive Hogwarts, we didn't want you anyway.

Man, wizards are really insane.

Or maybe wizard children aren't fucking retarded and don't go into dangerous areas like some stupid nigger would

>New teacher torturing a stuent in front of other students who are laughing.
American principal
>Teacher fired, police called, students attend mandatory counselling
McGonnagal
>Tells teacher not to do that again, students told to run to lessons or they'd be late.

You'd think parents would care though.
It's only when kids start dying like flies that they're called back home.

Have you ever considered just how deadly Quidditch is? For an official school sport, it seems incredibly easy to die. Most of the game takes place about 20 meters off the ground, and full contact tackling is encouraged, with no safety gear. The kids aren't even strapped to their brooms.

If somebody falls off and lands on their head, that's it. They're fucking dead.

The parents have already been to Hogwarts, so they know you'd have to be dumb as fuck to get killed, and anything less severe than that is fine because they can literally regrow broken bones anyway

Modern parents are just cotton wool cunts who have no fucking idea how to be parents and think stopping their child ever getting injured or going outside is good parenting. It isn't.

They deserve it for playing it.
Why would anyone watch that shit anyway? Seems to me like a good chance to do some stuff in the castle while the plebs are distracted.

>Rivalry betweeen fellow schools
Muggles
>friendly sports matches organised by teachers, occasional pranks organised by students
Wizards
>kids pulled out of classes for a year; their final year of school, compete in a tournament organised by the government involving deadly obstacles and kidnapping loved ones

How do they even see what's going on?

Binoculars and similar, I suppose. But at that point, why bother?

RAVENCLAW, YOU REALLY PULLED IT OUT OF THE BAG, YOU WON THE HOUSE CUP, GOT THE BEST GRADES IN EVERY SUBJECT, AS A HOUSE COLLECTIVE LOGGED OVER 1200 HOURS IN COMMUNITY SUPPORT AND OUTREACH ASSISTANCE... HOWEVER...

Let us not forget the power of friendship when Hermione allowed Ron to borrow a pencil in potions class... 50 points to Gryffindor

Sometimes, true courage is needed to tell the truth when Harry let Hermione know that the hairband she was wearing didn't match her eyes... 75 points to Gryffindor

and finally, for persevering where others may not, Ron Weasely, for just getting on with it while you were having a really shit Tuesday, 100 points to Gryffindor,

WHICH MEANS...

physical injuries such as broken necks, spines, internal bleeding, cracked skulls... can all be fixed with magic.

Only curses kill permanently.

A combination lock is nothing compared to the power of Alohomora.

>it's an indirectly-discussing-how-shitty-J-K-Rowling-is-at-writing-but-without-ever-openly-acknowledging-it thread

They have literal magic at their disposal, being little bitches and not utilizing it to solve their problems is entirely their fault.

Sometimes I think the world would be better off if Harry Potter had never taken off and we only had book 1.
Book 1 is the only one that stands well on its own.

We all remember the point when we were first reading it and imagining what would happen next, and how.
I can't be the only one that was very disappointed.

>teacher openly bulllies the child whose mother he was in love with for years
American principal:
>Kid removed from teachers classes, teacher given suspension, disciplinary action and counselling
Dumbledore;
>Giggles with Snape about it in the staff room (probably)

Only the general public and the media at large will refuse to say how mediocre of a writer she is, she's called out everywhere else

>general public and the media at large
So most people? "Everywhere else" kind of loses all meaning when you put it like that.

>turns out Voldemort was just an edgy teenager who was butthurt about his family
>dumbledor was suddenly went full retard with the magic ring
>kept trying to hold up the same tired "is snape a good guy or a bad guy?" shit for several books
>wizard government seemed to be amazingly clever at hiding themselves and very efficient in the first book, but progressively in each book they get more incompetent to absurd degrees
>every book the school becomes more of a deathtrap that no sane parent would ever send their kids to

the series really did go to shit quickly

>Lycanthrope is employed and allowed to work with children, during a full moon transforms and attempts to dismember and devour children
American principal:
>Principal imprisoned, Werewolf is hunted and killed, children given counseling for years
Dumbledore;
>Allows Werewolf to leave with no hard feelings

>they can literally regrow broken bones anyway
Huh, that's true.

>student opens up a shop where they sell roofies, chemical weapons and food that's never been examined by the government agency in charge
American president
>suspension, maybe expulsion for everyone invloved. Definite police involvment
>Dumbledore
literally nothing, eventually they take it up as their profession

This

Decent characters like Remus and Sirius eased it's death, but after goblet of fire there was no point in reading

Still read them all

I don't much value the opinion of people who claim she is the greatest author of all time and viciously attack you and send death threats if you point out her books are poorly written shit

*escaped prisoner convicted mass murderer werewolf

I stopped caring (far too late as well I might add) after she killed Sirius.
I should have stopped caring as soon as we got Time Turners.

>Literal soul eating demons show up at your school looking for an escaped prisoner, frequently attack and consume parts of students souls
American principal:
>School evacuated and abandoned, 50 mile quarantine zone
Dumbledore;
>Watch out for those Dementors

Hogwarts is based on an upper class british education system which is basically like that.
The requirement for enrolment is literally by birth or some shit so parents arent gonna pull kids out just because hitler came back

it would be fine if Rowling had done all the books, but it's the best example in history of overratedness being an actual problem. Barbara Cartland sold a shitload of books too without it filtering into popular culture in a totally overblown way.

I get what you mean, I think, I can't help but suspect she changed a lot of it to meet expectation or to "provoke more interest", and that the actual story she had was lost to her desire for more attention.

This one gets me, the dementors are like the most dangerous thing to ever exist and nobody gives a shit about them coming to the school.

around the release of Avatar I had a fan of HP complain that it was just a fun good vs evil story "like Star Wars". I responded "or Harry Potter" and got a blank stare. people compartmentalize this shit I guess.

>always liked Snape as a character
>years on Sup Forums and Sup Forums has made me tainted on the concept of cuckoldry
>reread series
>can't stop thinking of NTR situations where Snape has to watch James pound Lily in front of him
>suddenly imagine a moment where young Snape fell into a closet and gets locked in while cleaning up the potions room to get brownie points for the Potions Master
>he tries to pry himself out
>he stops when he hears people outside
>It's James and Lily
>they start making out cause "no one is here"
>starts getting heated and sexual
>James starts pounding Lily against the closet Snape is in
>Snape can't take it
>he faps furiously while crying and heart breaking

I fucking hate this place.

>>always liked Snape as a character

You were fucked even before you got here, and Snape isn't a cuckold, he's a beta orbiter which is even worse.

Don't forget, Dumbedore invited the Demontors.

Which In hindsight, allowing FLYING GHOST DEVIL DEMONS WHO EAT SOULS to guard your school, oh and by the way, they WILL try to eat your soul if you bump into one, was probably a really REALLY bad idea.

I fee like I should really be judging you, but its not like I am any better.

...

I think she might have made the stories darker than she originally planned because of the additional weight of expectation, but she did it so ineptly (no sex, Dobby and Lupin are meant to register as major character deaths etc) and while continuing to use exactly the same plot devices so I doubt it really changed much in practice.

>name is Dumbledore
>he's not dumb

Fucking seriously?

that kind of thing is just a byproduct of how Rowling never considers any aspects of her fantasy universe in combination with each other. everything is a self-contained idea that is either comedic or dramatic and has no wider implications or context unless she needs it to.

>Dear mom, I'm having lots of fun at hogwarts! A lot of stuff happened lately. Earlier this week part of my soul got eaten by a dementor, and it turns out one of my teachers was an escaped murderer and a werewolf.

>Dumbedore invited the Demontors.
He didnt invite them, the government basicially forced them upon him.
Which speaks more about how fucking retarded the wizard government is

One good con-man with magic could probably topple the entire Ministry of Magic in a matter of weeks.

Reading deathly hallows the first time i actually had to go back and reread a paragraph or two when someone died because nearly all the deaths happened so out of nowhere.
Same shit with Sirius, it felt completly out of nowhere and that stupid veil didnt make it clearer if he was dead or not.

>time travel exists
>none of the bad guys use it
>none of the good guys use it

>the only use is to help some nerdy cunt study more

Did you know that dumbledore is an olde timey word for bumblebee?

What did she mean by this?

that's pretty much what voldemort did

>tfw 11 years old
>tfw secretly expecting letter from hogwarts
>tfw it never arrives

What's sad about Snape is that whenever he looks at Harry, he sees the man who fucked him over. But when he looks closer, he sees that Harry has his mother's eyes. The one small piece that reminds him that he's not completely the person he hates.

Both Deathly Hallows movies cut out most of the (fascinating) Dumbledore backstory

You end the series very conflicted on what to think of Dumbledore

Nah he went the retard route, I can't deny his end result but he was obvious.
What I meant was more a slimeball asshole who seems good and on their side but backstabs, mindfucks and imperiouses his way to the top.

Subtle as opposed to being snakefaced wizard hitler

It's a smart idea even if insanely risky.
>we can't find this criminal but we know we'll try to get to this place just to find Harry
>oh, I know, we'll just send these ghost things to scout endlessly around the school

Not having them protect the school was probably a worse idea than not letting them roam around the school.

I miss Sheevposting. I miss good friends. This meme is nothing on those.

You mean like Palpatine?

Yes, good example.

Its funny because young Voldemort fit the bill to do this kinda shit.
The guy was basicially the biggest honor student, adored by all his professors, leading his own gang of underlings and getting every good position he needed, while he went arround directing a giant snake killing off people he didnt like and sucking dark art knowledge out of his teachers.

Then he turned retard, took the most evil name possible, changed his appearance to look more evil and started an open war with the government